Dare to Hope

by Caitlin Ricci

  Samuel gave him a scorching openmouthed kiss with tongue, and Chris almost changed his mind about using the closest surface, but Samuel broke away far too soon.

  “Okay, you go along, and I’ll say good-bye to these guys and be there shortly.”

  “Great, bye!” Chris practically ran to his motorcycle, not bothering to say good-bye to any of them. If they cared, they’d understand with a quick explanation. He was pretty sure the only one who would have noticed him leaving, though, would have been Trent as he sat quietly at the bar, enjoying a drink and talking to Jeff.

  CHRIS WAS on his second bowl of chocolate chip ice cream as he lay stretched out over the couch in front of some late night talk show when there was a knock on his front door. He sat up and peeked out the blinds, smiling when he recognized Samuel’s truck.

  Before Samuel had a chance to knock again, he’d tossed his bowl into the sink and stripped off the shorts he’d been wearing. There was an island across from the front door, and he leaned against it, propping himself up. “Come on in. Unless you’re not alone.”

  Samuel opened the door, and Chris was glad to see the surprise so clearly displayed on his face. Chris smirked. “Mind closing the door? I think I have neighbors, though I have no idea who they are. And I’m not nearly as into public sex as Kaden and Bran seem to be.”

  Samuel quickly closed the door behind himself, and Chris wasted no time in going to his knees in front of him. He had Samuel’s pants yanked down to his thighs before he remembered to kiss him first.

  “Sorry, I’m eager,” he explained as he stood back up and pressed his mouth roughly to Samuel’s while also taking his dick in his hand and giving him a firm squeeze. “Any reason you don’t want me to fuck you against this door tonight?” he asked Samuel as he pulled away and went right back down to his knees, where he began softly lapping at Samuel’s sac while continuing to squeeze him.

  “None at all. If you can reach, that is.” Samuel hissed in pleasure at what Chris did with his mouth.

  “Hmm. Good point. You are a good bit taller than the guys I usually screw.” He quickly changed his tune when he saw Samuel’s expression go dark. “Sorry. No talk of other guys when we’re together.”

  “Damn straight.”

  That made Chris smile. “Then I’ll just have you over the side of the couch. I do have one of those. Came with the house. I’m told it’s comfortable, but really no one has been around to try it out.” Done talking, he slid his mouth over Samuel’s head, eagerly tasting him and working his tongue around Samuel’s thick tip. When Samuel didn’t do anything with his hands, Chris took him by his wrists and laid them over the back of his head, giving Samuel permission and a hint all at once. He liked to be controlled, to feel like someone he cared about, and especially someone he trusted, was taking possession of him. He didn’t trust anyone like he trusted Samuel, so wanting to give him that power came naturally to Chris. He hadn’t even considered any kind of an alternative.

  Samuel was bigger than he was used to, but Chris went slowly, enjoying his time with him. They were past his six-month mark, with each day feeling like borrowed time and filled with uncertainty. He wouldn’t focus on that now, though, not when he had Samuel exactly where he’d been wanting him for so long.

  Samuel’s fingers tightened around his head, and he carefully started moving in and out of Chris’s willing mouth. Being on his knees in front of Samuel, being completely at his mercy and not caring one bit, that was bliss. And Chris absolutely loved it. He pulled back a little, releasing Samuel and smiling up at him as he slid his tongue up the underside of his shaft. “Don’t come. Not yet. I have a lot more planned for tonight.”

  He slid his mouth back over Samuel’s head, taking him as deeply as he could, and sighing the whole time. The hands on his head held him harder as Samuel slid his fingers into Chris’s hair. Knowing the strength of the man made him weak and not scared—that Samuel held it so tightly reined in as not to hurt him, but Chris wanted him to lose his control a little bit. So he gave Samuel a bit of a bite, scraping his teeth along the underside of his shaft, right by the base. It wasn’t enough to hurt him, not even a little, but if Samuel thought he didn’t know how to bite, Chris hoped he remembered this moment.

  Samuel moaned deeply, his thigh muscles bunching where he stood. “If you keep that up I am gonna come. Soon.”

  With a smug grin, Chris pulled back and got to his feet. “Thanks for the warning. Over the arm of the couch with you.” He licked his lips, cleaning some of Samuel’s precome off. This was fun, this getting to play with someone he cared about and trusting Samuel enough to know that if he did something Samuel didn’t like he’d tell him right away. Chris didn’t have to be careful with him when they were together. It was liberating to realize that.

  Samuel shucked his shirt while toeing off his boots before pulling off his socks too. He walked toward the couch, and Chris watched his ass bunch and move, the muscles all tight and drool-worthy. He couldn’t resist reaching out and giving Samuel a hard smack as he walked by. When Samuel looked back at him, Chris was quick to blow him a kiss.

  “This is fun. You keep me around and we could do this a lot more. Even have naked weekends. Or more accurately, be naked all the time except when you have to work, other people are over, or in general someone could see you. New Zealand law seems to sort of frown on murder, which is what would happen.”

  Samuel grinned. “Naked all the time? Will take me some time to get used to that.”

  Chris shrugged and followed him over to the couch, where he ran his hands down Samuel’s back as he got himself situated on the arm. It might not have been super comfortable for him, but it put him at the right height for Chris. And this was one thing he felt okay being selfish about. “Oh, you’ll get used to it. I’ll hide all your clothes, and then you won’t have a choice if you want to come out of bed. And babe, I’m good, but I’m not breakfast in bed kind of good. I’m more the order food from down the street and put it on a plate and pretend I made it kind of guy.”

  He bent down and gave Samuel’s right cheek a quick bite before he kissed down Samuel’s spine to his entrance, where he began to gently swirl his tongue. Samuel jerked at the touch, and it made Chris wonder if anyone had ever done that to him. Since he couldn’t talk about his previous guys when they were together, he wasn’t going to ask Samuel that, but it did make him think. He rested his hands on Samuel’s thighs, softly stroking him as he slid his tongue into him, getting him ready for what was to come next. He liked this part, though. Some guys skimped and rushed it, but he enjoyed taking care of the guys he was with and making them feel as good as they made him. Samuel had pretty much rocked his world that afternoon, so Chris wasn’t going to give him any less than that tonight.

  Samuel’s glutes flexed, and Chris heard what sounded like nails scraping across the upholstery of the couch.

  “That feels amazing. Wrong but wonderful,” Samuel muttered breathlessly.

  Frowning, Chris pulled back. “Wrong? You’re going to have to explain that one to me.” He went right back to licking Samuel’s entrance. He may have thought it was wrong, but that didn’t mean Chris wasn’t going to continue on just like before.

  “Just never thought it’s somewhere someone would like to kiss and lick me, I guess.” The back of Samuel’s neck was flushed red, as if he was embarrassed.

  Chris could kind of see that, in a way. But his position on how much he liked doing it still stood. “You’ve dated some whackos that needed to be taught some lessons, then. If you don’t like it, I won’t do it again. But I do kind of really like it so….” He shrugged and leaned back, knowing Samuel had enough lubricant from his saliva to make this easier for him. Chris could hardly hold still as he wanted to bounce around in anticipation.

  Samuel sighed softly. “I said it felt amazing, so don’t stop doing it again.”

  Laughing, Chris kissed him on the base of his spine. “Next time. Right now I need to be in you.” He began stret
ching him as slowly as he could, even as his dick begged for attention and he kept bouncing up and down. “Been wanting you since the first day I saw you sitting there in the living room, looking like you wanted to kill me while I just wanted to kill Kaden for beating up Bran.” Thinking back to that moment made him smile.

  “Same here.”

  It appeared that Samuel wasn’t much of a talker when he bottomed, because all Chris got out of him were a few broken sentences and lots of sounds. This time Samuel shivered and moaned as Chris prepared him.

  “Oh? Did you want to kill Kaden too?” Chris joked with him as he withdrew his fingers and moved his hand to Samuel’s hip. He was ready, though Chris would still hold himself back and go slowly. That afternoon on the mats was rough and wonderful, and he’d absolutely loved it, but they had time now, and Chris was determined to enjoy him during the hours they had until morning. He took his cock in his hand and swirled it around Samuel’s hole, spreading the precome around to help smooth the way in. Every now and then he notched it in place and gave a little push but not enough to penetrate.

  “How often have you done this?” Chris asked, even though he really didn’t want to talk about Samuel’s exes right then. They were history, old news, no longer existing on the same planet as Samuel as far as he was concerned. But the way Samuel tensed up each time Chris even got close to getting inside of him had him wondering. He smoothed his free hand down Samuel’s spine, hoping to ease any worries or tension he might have.

  “Only twice, and they weren’t very memorable. I guess, like Misha, guys think I’m bigger and that I’m a top.”

  “Sucks for them. I’m loving this view.” He leaned down and kissed Samuel between his shoulder blades. “You’re beautiful. Just relax. I know what I’m doing. Oh, and one more thing, don’t you dare touch yourself. I still want to swallow you after I come in you.”

  While he stayed bent over Samuel’s back, keeping them together, he slowly eased himself inside. Samuel may have been trying to relax, but he really wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Chris could work with that, though. He just had to slow down and be patient. For Samuel he was willing to do that.

  “Good, you’re doing fine,” Chris said, showering light kisses over Samuel’s back as he eased his way in a little more with small, slow thrusts. He was perfectly tight and deliciously warm against him, and Chris desperately wanted to go faster, but he kept reminding himself that he was trying not to be an ass. This was Samuel, and Chris wanted him to have a great time. He desperately needed to be memorable to Samuel more than he needed to come.

  Finally he felt Samuel begin to relax, and the viselike grip on his cock eased away. He was still unbelievably tight, but he wasn’t crushing Chris nearly to the point of pain either. He stayed over him for a few more minutes, gently easing into him with short thrusts that left him gasping as he felt Samuel tremble beneath his hand. When he was mostly in and Samuel hadn’t tried to kick him off, Chris figured it was safe to lean back, put a hand on either side of Samuel’s tight hips, and stroke into him with some actual speed.

  He grunted softly as he watched Samuel’s skin flush with pleasure, though he wished he could see Samuel’s face. That would be for next time. After so many months of denying himself any pleasure that wasn’t from his hand, this felt freaking amazing. And Chris dreaded how quickly he would end up coming. It seemed like when he was with Samuel, he always came embarrassingly fast.

  And that night was sadly no different as he dug his hands into Samuel’s hips, only afterward realizing that he might have actually hurt him, and emptied himself into Samuel’s body as he panted out a cry. He wanted to drift lazily off, to relax for a few minutes and just bask in the feeling of how good it had felt to take Samuel and how often he wanted to do that from now on. But right then he wasn’t going to be an ungrateful dick, and a horrible lover at that, while he left Samuel hanging, waiting for his own orgasm. He brought Samuel over to the couch, onto his side, then further to his back, so that he could kneel between Samuel’s open thighs.

  He looked needy, which made Chris smile as he took him back into his mouth, bobbing his lips over Samuel’s swollen cock as he balanced himself with one hand and stroked him from the base up with the other. He was quickly rewarded with Samuel’s loud groan and a mouthful of warm come, which he happily swallowed.

  “I had fun. And if you had fun too then we’re doing that a lot more often,” Chris said as he sat up next to Samuel and struggled to catch his own breath. He took Samuel’s hand in his and leaned his head back on the couch as he waited for his heart to stop racing, all the while smiling.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  THE NEXT morning Samuel sat by a table at their favorite coffee shop and bakery in town with Trent and Kaden opposite him. Farming was the topic of conversation until the waiter served their large strong coffees in cups as big as soup bowls.

  “What’s up?” Kaden was the first to ask.

  Trent looked around, taking in their surroundings, appearing completely disconnected from their talk, but Samuel always thought it was a trick. No one was more aware than Trent.

  “Well, we haven’t exactly had much time alone since getting back from the States, and a hell of a lot has happened since. Thought it would be good to catch up.” Samuel saw Trent reach up, take Misha’s dog tag between his fingers, and stroke it with his thumb. No one had heard from Misha since he had started his latest mission. No one even knew where he was in the world. Samuel respected Trent for his quiet strength, because he sure as hell wouldn’t have been so calm about it.

  Kaden watched Trent too, a small frown of worry creasing his forehead. “Fair enough. These American boys sure took our lives on a tailspin. How’s things with you?”

  Trent snickered, not even looking their way. “He’s getting laid, so he’ll be sweet as.”

  Kaden chuckled. “Besides that?”

  Samuel sipped his coffee before clearing his throat. “I’ve fallen for him. Big time.”

  Trent’s grass-green gaze swung to him instantly. “No shit!”

  Samuel ignored him. “The problem is he hasn’t spoken of his future plans after his month or so here is up. If he’s going back or staying here. Back in the States, he said he meant to go back and possibly start up his own practice, but he’s never mentioned it since. I’m in the dark here.”

  Kaden also drank from his cup, licking the foam off his top lip. “Didn’t you make it clear to Chris that you’re not willing to pursue something serious with him unless he gives it a chance by being closer to you?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Well, you’ve made your point. Leave it, then, and trust he’ll do the right thing. He knows where you stand, but don’t push. You know he’s as skittish as a horse around a snake when you force him into anything,” Trent added wisely, his cup already half-empty.

  Samuel’s frustration rose. “I hope Misha gives you hell.”

  Trent’s white smile flashed as he turned to look at the passing pedestrians, his attention caught by a young boy with a small dog on a leash. The pug stopped by Trent’s legs, and he reached down to give it a pat. When the boy walked off, Trent spoke. “Oh, I’m completely convinced he will do exactly that. He’s not a cuddly soft teddy bear. That much I know. More like an exotic wild cat wrapped in thorns and thistles.”

  Samuel actually felt sorry for the man. “Better you than me.”

  “That’s what I say about what you two have” came the witty reply.

  “Samuel,” Kaden sighed, “I know both Bran and Chris have these hard as brick exteriors, but inside, all they want is to be loved and accepted. Give Chris time. By what he’s told us, he hasn’t ever been loved just for who he is.”

  Samuel thought about it and agreed with Kaden. “Okay, there’s nothing I can do but give him what he needs, then. Oh, yes. Trent, we’d all like to go out on the boat whenever it suits you. Let us know and we’ll help with fuel and bring some eats, and we can spend the day on the water and may
be catch a few big ones for the pan.”

  Trent smiled brightly. “That’s a good idea. I haven’t taken her out for a while, so it will be a nice change. Maybe this weekend?”

  “Sweet, I’ll tell Bran.” Kaden pushed his empty cup away.

  Samuel did the same. “And I’ll tell Chris.”

  Trent snickered. “Awww, how domesticated you two sound.”

  “Shut up,” they both growled at him before getting up.

  After saying good-bye to them, Samuel got in his truck and had an idea on his way home. First, though, he had to know Chris’s plans before making such a serious decision. Hopefully he’d know sooner than later whether Chris would be making his home in New Zealand with Samuel or going back to Manhattan.

  His phone started ringing, and he answered it with a touch on the display in his truck. “This is Samuel.”

  “Hey.”

  Samuel smiled instantly at the sound of Chris’s voice.

  “I did something bad. You’re not going to like it. Not one bit.”

  His good mood vanished in a single rapid heartbeat.

  “What did you do?” Samuel asked, fearing the worst—that Chris had started cutting himself again and had done so terribly, and now he was in trouble.

  “Can I come over?”

  Even though Chris couldn’t see him, Samuel nodded. “You don’t have to ask if you can. Do you want me to pick you up?”

  “That’s not necessary. I’m on my way to you right now. See you soon.”