The History in Us

by L. B. Dunbar

  I had to laugh at that and shook my head in dismay.

  “Oh Vic, I love you.” I smiled. His wrinkled face turned a shade of pink, and his trembling lips curved upward.

  “Quit flirting with the volunteers,” Professor Erickson’s voice dropped my heart rate, but Vic only smiled broader.

  “You tell that young thing he’s a fool. And if this beauty loves me, I’m not too old to be one.”

  I turned slowly to face my professor.

  “Professor Erickson.”

  “Wayne, please.” His hand rose to stop me from speaking. “We’ve missed you this week. You haven’t seemed yourself.”

  “My portion of the project is done, and I had some…personal things…” I offered weakly.

  “I know all about that.” Wayne’s voice lowered as he stepped toward me. “You’ll be there on Tuesday for the final presentations, correct? It’s part of the grade.”

  I nodded and excused myself for my assigned room. Carmela greeted me, her fingers moving fast.

  “Wait, slow down. What’s happening?”

  Carmela slowed the motion of her fingers as she signed that the hot new guy had been hanging out at the gym more often lately. Rumor had it, he became an investor of some sort.

  “Carmela, which hot new guy?” I laughed, playing off my hopes that she meant Levi while at the same time not wanting to see him. Maybe she meant the guy with the bun from the basketball court. He was new, and hot, too. But when Carmela’s fingers spelled out Levi, I swallowed hard.

  “Well, good for Levi. He needs to feel invested in something, and it’s good for the gym.” Maxwell could use any help he could get, and the holidays were a time for major contributions. Carmela shook her head, as if I didn’t understand. I read her fingers as they fluttered rapidly again.

  “Levi, isn’t going to work here,” I said aghast. “You must be mistaken.” Irritation filled my voice as I stared at my caramel-colored friend. She’d lost her voice, but I was convinced she’d also lost her mind. Xavier walked in with his over-the-edge attitude, and I dismissed thoughts of Levi to lose myself in volunteering.

  Two hours passed before we decided to break. I remained in the room, straightening some books, when a throat cleared behind me.

  “How was class today?”

  “Levi?” I spun to face him, feeling betrayed by everyone who’d said he wasn’t present, and strangely achy at the sight of him. I wanted to erase last night’s dinner, especially our dance. The way he held me, pressing me tighter, nearly begging me for words I could never risk offering without knowing where I stood with him. He was promising me with his eyes he’d never hurt me again.

  “I hear you’re an investor here. Thank you. Maxwell and the recruits will benefit from the support.”

  Levi nodded slowly and sat in one of the orange loungers.

  “I’m more than an investor. I’m the new director.”

  My knees buckled and I lowered to the seat opposite him. I closed my eyes. Another secret.

  “I wanted to tell you last night.” The sound of scratching fingers under his chin opened my eyes. He tipped his head left, cracking his neck, reminiscent of when we first met again. “I had so much to say, but things got away from me. You slipped away.”

  I sighed, exhaling his name with my breath.

  “I always wanted to see the world. Escape, as I told you. I joined the military. When I lost my leg, I lost more than a body part and my men. I lost my soul. I didn’t know what to do without the adventure. I thought the travel could restore some of the aching emptiness. I was a caged animal, like you explained. The sense of something crawling under my skin, needing to be set free.”

  I stared at him. He didn’t seem to understand me when I’d explained those things at the zoo. How wrong I’d been.

  “I think what I wanted was just a way to feel connected again. Connected to something. Sure, I have AJ. I love my son. He’s my everything, but I still need something for me. Something for me that will benefit him. I thought the job would be that. The money. The world. But it wasn’t what I wanted any longer.” He chuckled softly. “I wanted something else. Something that seemed bigger than me. Something I’d never had.” His eyes met mine, holding me prisoner to his sadness and his hope.

  “Anyway, I decided VetGym might be a better place for my talents and time. I understand what these men and women have been through. That’s my connection. I can relate to their struggles and triumphs. I have so many ideas, starting with a photography collection. I’m going to make my own book.” He smiled sheepishly and I responded in kind.

  “That’s a fabulous idea.”

  “The history project sparked the idea, as well as you.”

  “Me?” I laughed. “You don’t like writing.” My feet slid forward on the tile, and I looked down at my boots.

  “Katie, I don’t dislike writing. It just isn’t my passion, not like it’s yours. But I wondered if you could help me. We make a good team.”

  Again, I smiled weakly. We had worked well together, but I didn’t think I could continue to work with Levi feeling separated from him from the way I did. My feelings couldn’t stop. I’d shut down my voice as a child, but I wouldn’t do it again as an adult. I had other ways to protect myself from pain.

  “Let me think about it.”

  Levi shook his head in response, his chocolate eyes dropping. “Of course.” He sat up straighter, rubbing a hand over his head and resting it on his neck. “I’ll see you in class. The project looks great. I’m sure we’ll get an A.” He winked at me, and his smile returned. Forced, clenched, and too bright. No dimples peeked at me, and the hollowness in his eyes returned.

  “I can’t wait to see it.”

  “I’m the one waiting, Katie.” He stood on those final words and exited the room, leaving me breathless and confused.

  * * *

  On Monday, I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I typically didn’t answer them, but this time I did.

  “Ms. Carter, this is Mr. Thomas, Sidonia’s father.”

  “Is everything okay with Sidonia? With Vintage Vines?” I’d spoken to her only yesterday, organizing my schedule for the week.

  “Yes, fine. She’s fine. So listen, Sidonia gave me a copy of your manuscript. I hope you don’t mind, but I took a peek and I’d like to pass it on to a junior agent, someone trying to get his feet wet in the industry and working hard to prove himself. He wants original work and I think this story has something.”

  Silence ensued. I couldn’t speak. I pulled the phone back from my ear and checked the number. It was a legitimate 312—the Chicago area code for downtown—but still I didn’t understand.

  “I’m sorry. Mr. Thomas, I’m confused.”

  “I see Sidonia told you nothing about me. Typical, but I’ll spare you the family drama. I’m Preston Thomas. I own McTigue Publishing, a firm here in Chicago and with offices in New York. Again, we’d like to pitch your manuscript and see where things may lead.”

  My mouth was moving, but no sound escaped. Sidonia. Her father. A publishing agent.

  “I think that sounds very exciting, sir. I’d love to see where things may lead as well.” I’m certain my voice squeaked, my lips trembling so hard I tried to keep my teeth separate so they didn’t rattle inside my head.

  “Could we meet the Monday after Christmas? I know it’s not the ideal time, but now is when we prepare for the spring line of releases.”

  “That sounds perfect.” He forwarded me to an assistant, and I took down the details. I was so excited, I danced around my kitchen for a full minute. I wanted to tell someone, and my first thought was Levi. Uncertain after seeing him at VetGym, I decided a strong admonishment to my boss was the first call to make, and after I scolded her, I’d tell her how much I loved her.

  * * *

  Tuesday arrived, and I dreaded my class. I should have taken the drop, but I couldn’t afford to pick up another class and prolong the second semester. I needed to graduate
and move on with my life, writing fantasy tales or not. I still hadn’t fully believed Mr. Thomas’ offer, and knowing these things took time, I’d applied for a job as a docent at a museum. I had to use my humanities degree in some way, and I was still waiting to hear back from them.

  I took extra time to straighten my hair and fix my make-up, which seemed ridiculous for a Tuesday afternoon. I hitched my computer bag over my shoulder and tried to hold my head high as I entered the classroom to find Levi absent from my grand entrance. I took my seat toward the back and nervously tapped my pencil against a notebook I had hardly used all semester. Professor Erickson entered and set up the projector. He began introducing who would present first, and I zoned out as Emma and her partner took the front of the room. My tapping increased to the point the person behind my left shoulder poked me.

  “That’s distracting me.” A deep voice I’d recognize even in my sleep made me spin to find Levi sitting behind me. I don’t know how he snuck in, even if I wasn’t paying attention, but I found no words to speak. I simply stared until Professor Erickson called out our names.

  “Stay,” Levi whispered as he stood gracefully and walked with that ever-so-subtle limp to the front of the classroom.

  “My partner, Katie, and I did a presentation in pictures. A journey of discovery about the city and important people within it.”

  Professor Erickson dimmed the lights and Levi stepped to the side, using a device to click the slides. Instantly projected was not the front cover we had designed. In fact, the first slide wasn’t anything we’d discussed either. The slides were images of the city, but within each one was a picture of me.

  The Alley Cat Café.

  The Lincoln Park Zoo.

  Levi had somehow imposed images of me within the slides. He even had a shot of him and me at the scholarship fundraiser that I hardly remembered being taken by the official photographer.

  My mouth hung open, dry and gaping.

  “The assignment was to discover something historical about this great city, and what I learned was history found me.” Levi paused, as he clicked to another slide.

  “See Katie Carter and I knew each other once upon a time.”

  The castle in the Science Museum.

  “And then I went off to slay an enemy,” Levi paused, flashing another scene, a dragon from the Field Museum and then a clip of Soldier Field, a place that commemorates those who fought in wars abroad. My eyes shifted to Levi who was focused on me.

  “Professor Erickson said the project had to be a discovery, and so I discovered Katie Carter. She and I have history.”

  A sigh to my right triggered me to sit forward. My heart raced within my chest and my hands clutched the curved edge of my desk.

  “History isn’t out there being lived and lost by some other people. It’s in us. In what we did this morning, what we did yesterday, what we did ten years ago. History isn’t about the dead, although they can certainly dictate some of it. History lives in us while we breathe, and it changes course and turns around and doubles back before taking two steps forward. It’s a reckless, weaving road, but it always leads somewhere. Sometimes we learn the path, sometimes we fail, and have to find our way back to start over again.”

  Levi included a Welcome to Michigan sign, as well as a Welcome Back to Chicago one.

  “History doesn’t come from perseverance, although that’s certainly part of the equation. History comes from love. Love of self, love of God, love of country, but most importantly, love to and from another person.”

  An image of only me projected on the screen, my hair blowing wildly over my face.

  “Your love drove me forward,” Levi said, addressing me. “Sitting in that desk in front of me or standing on that sidewalk didn’t matter. Our histories collided back together.” Levi walked toward me, and I swallowed hard, my throat still dry but my eyes welling with tears.

  “But I don’t want only history with you, Katie, intertwined, and crossing over and doubling back.” His hands twisted and turned, one over the other, emphasizing his words. “Let’s not be the past. Let’s live the future. Together.”

  Another gasp sounded and a pair of hands clapped somewhere to my left, but my eyes didn’t leave Levi’s.

  “You don’t have to answer me yet,” he said, getting down on one knee beside my desk. “But I have a question I need to ask very soon. Think of me, Katie. I think of you.”

  With tears slipping down my face, I bit the corner of my lip.

  “You know I already do,” I whispered.

  I love you, he signed with stiff fingers and the tears poured forth unabashed. I couldn’t answer him before I was engulfed in a hug, wrapping myself around him. He whispered in my ear, “I love you.”

  Levi

  I’d had too much time to think about after Katie asked me to leave, but reflecting on the past was finally a good thing. It made me notice all the little things, like how Katie had looked at me, and how she blushed when she recognized I looked at her. She’d been supportive and sturdy when I wobbled, and that made her more a hero to me than I deserved. She loved my son unconditionally, but most importantly, she loved me, and not because I was a hero, but because I was flawed.

  Walking hand-in-hand in Elk Rapids, after she asked me to return home with her for another holiday, we strolled the short main street along decorated store fronts under simple Christmas lights.

  “You’re sure you’re okay with all this,” she asked for the millionth time, worried I was scarred again from falling into the frozen pond. We wouldn’t be taking any private ice skating adventures this trip, but I was fine being in my home town. In fact, I was better than fine. Life was good.

  “And the job—” I stopped her suddenly and spun to face her.

  “Katie, please,” I begged. We discussed that a million times as well. I didn’t take the job with Geographic Digest, realizing that travelling the world alone was no longer a dream. I wanted to go places and discover new things, but I wanted to share that experience with someone else, and that someone stood before me.

  “Okay, I’ll drop it,” she teased, and I kissed her boldly as we stood on the street. While I wanted to return to her aunt’s house and sneak in some private time, we had family waiting at the bar. Entering Town Tavern with Katie Carter wrapped around my arm was better than my first homecoming. Several long tables were pulled up to one another and the crowd was large and boisterous as all of Katie’s aunts, uncles, and older cousins with plus-ones sat together, talking over one another. I was happy to be Katie’s plus one and ready to make me her my only one.

  Before we ordered, I waved at Leon and he winked. I pulled Katie past her family and straight for the back door. She laughed as she stumbled, and we fell into the back alley.

  “It’s freezing,” she giggled, snuggling into my chest. “What are you doing?”

  Bracing her shoulders, I held her back, only enough to make her look up at me.

  “Ask me the question.” Katie’s laughter died and her head tilted. Her brow pinched.

  “What question?” Her voice caught on the two words.

  “Ask me, Katie. Remember.” My tone lowered and my voice pleaded. Her brow pinched, but a smile grew as she bit the corner of her lip.

  “Are you a hero yet?” she asked softly, her warm breath rushing out to meet my lips.

  “For you, I want to be, Katie. I’ve always wanted to be. And if I am will you kiss me? The one you promised to give me when I earned it.”

  She nodded only once before my lips found hers, soft and willing, innocent, but not pure. No, my Katie had a sassy side, and I loved when she told me her fantasies. I hoped to make every one of them come true one day. Her mouth melded with mine, curving over my lips proved to me she’d already made my dreams come true. I pulled back too quickly, because I couldn’t wait any longer.

  “I have a question for you.”

  Katie worked the corner of her lip while she muttered, “Okay.”

  “Not a good e
nough answer,” I whispered, my hands shaking but my smile growing. “But let me ask the question first.”

  She nodded once as I removed a mitten from her left hand, wanting to feel the warmth of her skin on mine.

  “I’ve waited long enough for this moment, a moment I didn’t see in my future as I lived in the past. But when I searched behind me, it was always you, Katie. You were my future. Eyes forward, the general said, and I kept moving in that direction, but didn’t focus, until blonde hair sat in front of me in a history class.”

  A tear escaped the corner of her eye, but I refused to believe she was sad.

  “Be my future, Katie. Marry me.” I knelt down before her in the alley and presented her with a ring Sidonia helped me find. It was classic and vintage like Katie loved, cut for a princess, and perfect for her.

  “Was that a question?” she giggled, lowering her face so her forehead met mine.

  “Yes,” I breathed, still waiting on bent knee.

  “That’s my line,” she exhaled and the warmth of her breath forced me to steal a kiss while waiting for an answer. Pulling back, she whispered, “Yes. Always yes, Levi.”

  I stood instantly, swooping her up by her hips and taking her lips again. With the ring still clasped in my hands, I lowered her and pulled her hand into my palm. Slipping the ring on her finger, I stared at the diamond, sparkling under a cheap alley light and laughing inside at the reality. This hometown girl was my fantasy, and now she was my future in spite of the history in us.

  Want to read more –

  Want to know how Katie’s story began? Read about her brooding single father, Jess Carter, and his summer with an annoying new girl in town, Emily Post. You can read it for free.

  Sound Advice: http://amzn.to/2iYdZo6

  Want to read more of the modernized historical fiction Katie and Levi shared in the museum? You can read it for free.

  Chance Encounters: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/k02dkdw9z2