The Pride and Prejudice of Musicians

by Jessica Daw

  I took a moment, my stubborn streak refusing to submit fully to Catherine. I wanted her to know I was sitting because I chose to.

  Her heavily lidded eyes followed me as I crossed to a chair and sat at my leisure, and I saw her register an opponent. Dang straight.

  “Lilly,” she said, distinctly pronouncing my name, as if it were a foreign word, “you have been close to Charlotte for many years?”

  “Yes,” was all I said. I was sorely tempted to lean back in my chair and pull out my phone, play a game or text Jane or just fiddle with it, anything to show Catherine didn’t have as much power as she thought. I knew it was a fault of mine, the almost irresistible urge I felt upon meeting overinflated people to deflate them. But even still, it was only reminding myself yet again of Charlotte (had it really only been three minutes?) that kept my fingers from fishing my phone from my pocket.

  “Hmm. And you became acquainted with Collin when he visited Meryton.”

  “I did.” Ooh, I was sure Collin had told her about his proposal, the skunk! Well, fine. If she’d already decided I was a heartless vixen, I wouldn’t do anything to disabuse her of the notion.

  I must’ve smirked, because her eyes hardened. “You’re one of those girls who are convinced that careers and plans are more important than True Love, aren’t you?”

  “I’m not sure I qualify as a girl at my age,” I returned, doing my best to sound thoughtful.

  “You don’t deny it?”

  Ugh. Did everyone in Hunsford talk like the Scarlet Pimpernel? “Love doesn’t pay bills,” I said just to nettle her.

  “You consider yourself a modern woman, I suppose,” she said scornfully.

  “Um, if you mean I pay my own bills instead of marrying the first man who’ll do it for me, then yes, I do.”

  Catherine’s eyebrows flew. “Are you implying that those who wed do it only for such materialistic purposes?”

  “No, I’m saying I’m not going to marry someone just to marry someone.”

  Her face relaxed. “Then you’ll marry for love?”

  “Yes, but not only love,” I had to stipulate, apologizing mentally to Charlotte.

  “What else is there?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowing right back up.

  “Trust. Compatibility. Wanting the same things in life.”

  She made a face. “You are not romantic,” she said, as if that was the greatest sin I could commit.

  I managed to bite back my retort to that and simply made an if-you-say-so face.

  “Not all women are gifted with the beautiful romanticism that you are so blessed with,” Collin said to Catherine in a rush, as if he didn’t hurry to get the speech out he’d be cut off. Which, between his sycophantic worship of Catherine and her overbearing manners, wasn’t actually too far out of the realm of possibility.

  Catherine ignored Collin. “You have never fallen in love, have you?” she asked with a shrewd look.

  “Of course I have,” I said automatically.

  She smiled, satisfied. “No. It is impossible that you have tasted the sweetness of true love, for it is the most exquisite feeling that can be felt.”

  “Few have tasted true love,” Collin interrupted gravely. “Not like my Charlotte and I have.”

  I did what I could to disguise a gagging noise as a cough. Catherine gave me a weird look, but didn’t comment, so I guess I did a good enough job.

  Fortunately, the conversation turned from me and didn’t come back. Catherine discovered Mariah to be hopelessly in need of advice in every quarter of her life. By the end of the evening, Catherine had told Mariah what classes to take for the rest of her high school career, where to attend college, what to write her college essays about, and what day to get married on. Not that Mariah had so much as a boyfriend, of course, but thanks to Catherine de Bourgh, her marriage was now planned, down to what to use for something blue.

  I’ll confess I resorted to my phone to keep myself from jumping in with my opinion of Catherine’s advice and where she could go with it. Besides, Jane needed support.

  Lilly: How are things in sunny CA?

  Jane: Pretty good

  Lilly: Have you seen HIM?

  Jane: No

  Lilly: I guess it was a long shot…

  Jane: I didn’t come here to see him.

  Lilly: I know.

  Jane: Sorry. That sounded rude. I should be happier.

  Lilly: I think you can be as miserable as you want.

  Jane: No. I really should be happy. I love Ted and Nel and Brandon and Charlotte and Anne and Emily. They’re all so good to me.

  Lilly: Of course they’re good. They love you like everyone else does.

  Jane: Except Cade and Carrie.

  Lilly: You don’t like Carrie anymore?

  Jane: I saw her. She’s not who I thought she was. I don’t think she ever liked me.

  Lilly: I’m so sorry, Jane. She’s an idiot.

  Jane: You’re sweet.

  Lilly: It’s true. I wish I could call you but I’m at Catherine de Bourgh’s house. She would be good friends with Carrie.

  Jane: Lucky you.

  Lilly: Wow, sarcasm. You really must be unhappy.

  Jane: Is it obvious?

  Lilly: My poor sister. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know.

  Jane: I shouldn’t need Cade to make me happy, but . . . I feel like I do need him.

  Lilly: I wish he’d never come to Meryton.

  Jane: Thanks Lilly. I feel better just texting you.

  Lilly: I hope so Oh my gosh Jane you’ll never believe what Catherine just said!

  Jane: What did she say?

  Lilly: Two of her nephews are coming to visit in two days and one of them is WILL DARCY!

  Jane: He’s coming to Hunsford?!

  Lilly: I can’t believe this. I didn’t think I’d ever have to see him again.

  Jane: You’ll have to see him?

  Lilly: Guaranteed. Collin is in love with Catherine. No way he’ll stay away from her for Will’s whole visit. I have the worst luck EVER.

  Jane: Both of us do.

  Lilly: I wish you were here so we could have a pity party. I’d bring the ice cream.

  Jane: And I’d bring the chocolate.

  Lilly: Shoot, I have to go call you later.

  “What was that?” I asked Catherine.

  She looked pretty close to irate at my question. “Collin tells me you met my nephew Will in Meryton. Is that true?”

  “Yeah, I met him,” I said, trying not to make a face.

  “Is he not the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?” she asked.

  Princess spoke before I could. “He’s incredible.” I stared blankly at Princess for a moment. Those were the only words she’d spoken since greeting Charlotte.

  We’d eaten dinner and then moved back into the room, and I now sat next to Charlotte. She leaned over and whispered, “Princess’s sole ambition in life is to marry Will Darcy.”

  I felt a slow, wicked smile spread over my face. “Ha. They’ll be perfect for each other.”

  “Who will be?” Catherine demanded, who’d evidently (and unfortunately) overheard my remark.

  “My sister and her boyfriend,” I fabricated quickly.

  “You have a sister?”

  “I have four,” I said with a faint smile.

  “Are they all as unromantic as you?” she asked, not exactly good-humoredly.

  I smiled like I thought she was joking and didn’t answer. Luckily her attention returned to her nephews. “Will is very romantic, you know,” she confided in the group. “I know he will fall deeply in love one day.”

  I snorted.

  “Do you find something amusing?” Catherine asked freezingly.

  “I’m sorry. Just Will in love . . . um, his exterior is so, ah, dispassionate, but I’m sure it is hiding a heart that, um, burns all the brighter for that.” I managed to say that with almost no laughter in my voice.

  She looked mollified. “I would say i
t burns all the hotter, but otherwise . . . perhaps you are not hopelessly unromantic after all.”

  “Oh, good,” I said with a sarcastic smile.

  chapter nine

  “You must be the famous Lilly Bennet.”

  I blinked at the tall Irishman in front of me. “Um,” was my brilliant reply. It wasn’t entirely my fault. I hadn’t expected a cousin of Will Darcy’s—not to mention a nephew of Catherine De Bourgh—to look so . . . pleasant. I mean, obviously I’d expected him to be attractive, and he was. But he looked . . . well, genuinely nice. He was tall, not as tall as Will but taller than average, strong, tanned, sandy-blond-haired, blue-eyed, and had an open, handsome face, complete with a wide white smile.

  Eventually, my mind processed what he’d said, and that the only source he could have heard about me from was Will. Then, I decided, he was doubly nice to smile so nicely to me because doubtless he’d heard nothing good. Time to inform him his source was bad and layer on the charm so this Irishman would believe me over his cousin. “You shouldn’t believe a word Will’s told you about me.” Dropping to a stage whisper, I said, “He doesn’t like me very well.”

  Will, standing stiffly next to his cousin and looking, as usual, unfairly, ridiculously attractive, said, “You’ll soon learn, Liam, that Lilly likes few things more than telling people what they think.”

  Liam. I liked the name Liam. “Do you come with a last name?” I asked, admittedly wearing my flirtatious smile, the one I know makes my eyes sort of sparkle.

  “Fitzpatrick. Colonel Liam Fitzpatrick.”

  “Ah, that explains it.”

  He smiled, flirting too. “Explains what?”

  I gave him a pointed once-over. “Your posture,” I said meekly.

  He laughed. “You approve of my, erm, posture?”

  “Naturally.”

  Will cleared his throat. “Excuse my manners,” he said, directing his attention at Charlotte. I snorted at the thought of Will having manners. Will either didn’t hear me or ignored me. “Charlotte, Collin, Mariah, this is my cousin Liam. Liam, Charlotte and Collin Williamson and Mariah Lucas.”

  “My pleasure,” Liam said in his warm voice, coming forward and shaking their hands.

  “Indeed, the honor is all mine,” Collin said soberly. Charlotte simply smiled, and Mariah went on gaping, as she had ever since we’d walked into Catherine’s house and seen Liam and Will standing there.

  “What’s taking you so long?” Catherine’s sharp voice coming from the next room brought us all to attention.

  Liam grinned wryly. “We are summoned.” He turned and looked expectantly at me. I smiled and walked with him into the room.

  “Welcome to my home,” Catherine said grandly, as if we hadn’t been there for the past three evenings in a row.

  “You are exceedingly gracious to allow our humble personages into your majestically divine home,” Collin said, astonishing me, as always, with his ability to say so many absurd words without choking on them.

  Catherine acknowledged his comment with an impatient wave of her hand. “Please, be seated.” I’d already sat down, continuing my covert rebellion. Liam made to sit next to me, but Catherine called him over to her. Flashing me an apologetic grin, he obeyed.

  Instead, Will took the seat next to me.

  “Will! Come sit here on my other side,” Catherine commanded.

  He smiled mildly at her and said, “I’ve already sat down, Aunt. Lilly would think I’m rude if I hopped up right after choosing the seat next to her.”

  Catherine floundered for a second before saying, “I suppose,” and turning back to the colonel.

  “Beautifully done,” I said in an under voice.

  “Is that a compliment?” he asked, smiling disarmingly at me.

  “Don’t read anything into it,” I said, smiling back involuntarily. Remember Yuri, I told myself. Just because he has a smile that you can’t help but smile back to doesn’t mean he isn’t heartless.

  “What are you two smiling about?” Catherine asked, her eye drawn to anything that excluded her.

  I didn’t mean to dash a conspiratorial glance at Will but when I did, his mouth twitched up in an answering smile. “Just talking about mutual acquaintances,” Will lied smoothly.

  “I had forgotten the two of you were acquainted,” Catherine said, sounding as if our acquaintanceship were personally offensive, or at least highly distasteful.

  “Yes, all of us met in Meryton,” I said, simultaneously trying to irritate Catherine by mentioning something she’d been left out of and take a dig at Will for his lofty ways with Charlotte and Mariah.

  “Indeed,” Catherine said with a sniff. No joke—a sniff.

  “Lucky Will, always meeting interesting people,” Liam inserted. He had an Irish lilt that, combined with his smooth tenor voice, made even that simple sentence sound like a lullaby. His eyes were on me.

  “You’ve just met us, Liam. Do we not count as interesting?” I asked.

  His blue eyes laughed. “Caught by my own words,” he said with a mock sad shake of his head. “Now I’ll seem insincere if I say I find you the most interesting people I’ve met in weeks.”

  “You’re right—that was totally unbelievable,” I said with a sympathetic nod.

  At that point, Catherine interrupted and tenaciously dominated the conversation for a full half hour. I tuned her out after the first few minutes, letting my mind wander, which was why I didn’t know what to say when Catherine asked, “Well? Will you?”

  I looked up and saw her shrewd eyes staring straight at me. “Will I what?” I asked, ruefully aware that there was nothing else to say.

  “Sing for us,” she said impatiently. “Were you not listening?”

  I smiled wanly. “I guess I wasn’t.”

  Clucking her tongue, she said, “Will informed us that he became acquainted with you while writing music. I assume you sing.”

  “She does,” Charlotte answered for me. “Very well.”

  “Thanks, Charlotte,” I muttered. She ignored me.

  “We were rather hoping you would favor us with a performance,” Catherine announced.

  “Um. Do you have a guitar?” I asked.

  “I consider the guitar a vulgar instrument,” Catherine replied.

  “Oh.”

  “But I do have a piano,” she offered.

  “Oh, my piano playing is terrible,” I said, relieved I’d found an out.

  “You’re among friends, Elizabeth. None of us will judge you as less if your piano playing is not entirely perfect,” Collin said gravely.

  Fantastic. “Thanks, Collin, but—”

  “Please, Lilly?” Charlotte pressed.

  I shot her a why-are-you-doing-this-to-me look. She raised her eyebrows and her eyes darted to Will and back to me. She wanted me to show off in front of Will? No way. I started to say so but was cut off by Charlotte.

  “I know she’d love to,” she said with un-Charlotte-like audacity. “She just doesn’t want to brag.”

  Catherine smiled. “Naturally. We assure you, Lilly, that none of us will find you proud if you sing for us.”

  “Thank you, but that really isn’t—”

  “Just play already,” snapped—of all people—Princess de Bourgh. I stared at her in shock, and she met me with a water-colored glare, daring me to challenge her.

  I almost did, but Liam smiled and said, “Please.” Dang it.

  “Alright,” I said, not very graciously. It shouldn’t have bothered me so much. It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to performing in front of other people. I guess it bothered me to sing in front of Will without my sisters to accompany me or even my instrument of choice, but I told myself that was stupid. “Where’s the piano?” I asked, stretching my fingers. How long had it been since I’d touched a piano? I couldn’t remember.

  Catherine pointed across the room, and I saw the edge of what looked like a beautiful grand behind the sea of furniture. Taking a deep breath, I walked over there
. And was followed by not only Liam but Will.

  “You two don’t even have the excuse of turning my pages,” I said as I sat down and opened the lid of the Steinway.

  “You play from memory? I’m impressed,” Liam said

  “Don’t be impressed just yet. It remains to be seen if I can plunk out anything decent.” I glanced up at Will. “And I’m sure you came over just to intimidate me.”

  “Did I?” he asked, smiling faintly.

  “Yes. But it won’t work. I am . . . unintimidatable. If that’s a word.”

  “It’s probably a word,” Liam assured me.

  “Then I am. Unintimidatable.”

  “And why do you assume I’m trying to intimidate you?” Will asked.

  “There’s no other reason for you to come over here. We all know you don’t like me.”

  Liam laughed. “Oh, Will, you must have behaved terribly in Meryton.”

  “You don’t know the half of it,” I said confidingly, glancing sideways at Will.

  “Do your worst,” he said.

  “The first time I gave him music, he didn’t even listen to the sample recording I’d given him before he began making changes, and when we kept some suggestions I made and he admitted it improved the sound, he specifically told me that it wasn’t a compliment.”

  Liam did an excellent good job of looking shocked. “Will,” he said in a disappointed tone.

  “I’ve never been good at giving compliments,” Will said by way of explanation.

  “Well, let Lilly play, and watch how I give compliments, and let that stand as an example,” Liam suggested.

  Wanting to get it over with, I launched recklessly into playing. All I had to go off of were the chords of one of my favorite songs, ingrained in my memory, and my improvisation around the chords was far from expert. But I sang out over my chaotic playing, pouring my heart into Jane’s beautiful lyrics about waiting for love and not thinking once about my audience as soon as I was in full sway.

  When I finished, I realized I’d closed my eyes. I opened them reluctantly, as always hating the drop from the heights of musical creation back into reality.

  It startled me when Liam started clapping, and was joined by those across the room, enthusiastically by Charlotte and Mariah, politely by Catherine and Princess and Collin. Will was the only one who didn’t applaud. I looked challengingly at him and was taken aback by his expression. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I saw . . . wonder. I looked away, confused.