The Pride and Prejudice of Musicians

by Jessica Daw

  Liam distracted me. “Incredible, Lilly! You have true talent if I’ve ever seen it, and I’ve seen plenty of performances. You have a gift.”

  I would’ve blushed if he hadn’t told Will he’d compliment me beforehand. As it was, my, “Thanks, Liam,” came out wry.

  “You don’t believe me? Was it what I said before? It means nothing. I was planning on something trite, like, ‘You play beautifully’ or ‘Did you take lessons?’ I swear, you truly took my breath away.” His warm blue eyes were too laugh-free for me to disbelieve him.

  “Thanks, Liam,” I said again, but this time sincere.

  “What are you talking about? Come back over here so the rest of us can talk to you,” Catherine directed.

  Grimacing at Liam and carefully not looking at Will, I obeyed. This time Liam sat next to me. I wasn’t sure Will even noticed his spot had been stolen. He walked straight past it, settling in a chair not particularly close to anyone.

  During Catherine’s speech about how talented she would’ve been at the piano if she’d ever tried and other things she would have excelled at if she’d had the time, I kept stealing glances at Will, trying to read his face. I had to steal the glances because he kept staring at me. And I had to keep looking because I couldn’t figure out why he was staring. His deep blue eyes were unreadable, his dark eyebrows faintly drawn together, his full mouth serious. Was he angry? Annoyed? Not even thinking about me?

  I was genuinely relieved when the party finally broke up and I could escape his penetrating gaze. I needed to think.

  Of course, once I arrived at Collin’s home, I wasn’t alone. Mariah and I were sharing a room for the duration of the trip, as the little house didn’t have multiple guest rooms and both of us had declined the offer of sleeping on the loveseat in the living room. And Mariah—it shouldn’t have surprised me; she did it every night, and tonight we’d had the bonus of a world-famous composer and an officer in the British Army—wanted to talk about the evening in minute-by-minute detail. She wanted me to recount everything Liam and Will had said when we’d gone over to the piano, pressing me when I was recalcitrant about relating every word, gesture, and facial expression.

  Finally, I snapped. “Mariah, I’m tired,” I said shortly. “We can talk in the morning.”

  She suddenly looked even younger than her sixteen years, and I immediately felt guilty. “Oh, sorry, Lilly,” she said in this small, wounded voice. “I thought you liked talking to me.”

  I sighed. “Of course I like talking to you, Mariah. I really am just tired, but I would love to finish this conversation in the morning,” I said, lying through my teeth. I didn’t mind talking to Mariah, but she was even more brainless than Lydia and Kitty, who were at least sort of entertaining because of their loud deviance. I wondered how Mariah was so different then Charlotte, remembered Wilson and Abigail Lucas, and wondered how Charlotte wasn’t brainless.

  “Do you want me to turn the lights off?” Mariah asked hesitantly. Dang. I knew the poor girl looked up to me. I’d have to be extra nice to her in the morning, but tonight my head was too full of confusing thoughts for me to manage.

  “Yeah, that’d be nice,” I said, and she immediately did so. Laying in the darkness, I listened as Mariah’s breathing eased quickly into the deep breaths of a sleeper. I couldn’t seem to sleep. Will kept interrupting my thoughts. I couldn’t unravel him. I couldn’t make all accounts of him line up. Why would good men like Cade and Liam like him so well after what he’d done to Yuri? Could they possibly not know how vindictive he was? Could he have changed in such a short time? But Liam was his cousin—he’d probably known Yuri too.

  What was I missing? Was Will really so good at pretending to be something he wasn’t? Maybe what he’d done to Yuri was an anomaly? But that didn’t seem possible. Tearing someone’s life apart like that just for jealousy? That wasn’t something a person did by accident.

  Then there was the Will I knew. Even leaving out Yuri and Cade and Liam, I didn’t understand him. One minute he was witty and pleasant, the next haughty and cold. Which was him?

  And why did I care?

  I slept poorly that night, and finally gave up on sleep at dawn, sometime around five thirty. I didn’t check.

  I quietly climbed out of bed and dressed in sweats, a tee, and a light jacket, slapping my hair back in a ponytail and pulling on my tennis shoes before walking out the door.

  The morning air was crisp but nothing more than what a little motion would banish. I walked into the woods bordering Hunsford, butting up against Collin’s house, no particular destination in mind.

  My thoughts went helplessly back to the same problem they’d been trying to unravel the night before. Who was Will Darcy?

  I hadn’t decided when I caught sight of the man himself.

  I knew he saw me. I’d sat down on a stump in a pretty little clearing, gentle summer sunlight filtering through fresh green leaves and illuminating sweet-smelling patches of delicate wildflowers. He crossed the edge of the clearing, dressed in a plain black hoodie and gray sweats that somehow still looked like they’d come straight off a high-end mannequin, and his eyes met mine.

  I really was sure he’d seen me, which was why, when he made to walk away, I called out, “Will! Come on, I know you saw me! At least say hello!”

  He froze and turned to look at me. “Lilly.”

  “Come sit down,” I invited carelessly. “It’s pretty here.”

  He hesitated for a moment.

  “Please, I know you don’t like me, but can’t we pretend?”

  “I don’t dislike you,” he said stiffly.

  “Which is why you’re still standing halfway across the forest when I’ve asked you to sit with me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

  “I . . . I’m coming.” Well, what else could he say? He crossed the clearing and I scooted over. The stump was pretty big. We’d have to squish, but we’d fit. He paused, looking at the spot I offered. I raised my eyebrows again, daring him not to sit. He sat.

  “Do you hike often?” I asked.

  “No.” When I didn’t reply immediately, he seemed to realize his answer had been rather short and went on. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I was on my way to swim. There’s a lake a ways into the forest that I always swim in when I come here. I was nearly there when I realized I’d forgotten my towel. I was on my way back for it when I ran into you.”

  “That’s right, you like swimming too,” I said musingly, mentally adding that to my Will Darcy file.

  “Yes.” We sat quietly for a moment. Long enough that I started getting uncomfortably aware of the fact that the sides of our bodies, from shoulder to knee, were pressed together, and I couldn’t help but notice how strong and warm he felt. I didn’t want to notice Will Darcy felt strong and warm. It threw a whole new angle on everything that I wasn’t in the least interested in exploring.

  Then he broke the silence, to my great relief, since I apparently couldn’t come up with a single thing to say that wouldn’t have been completely out of line.

  “Would you like to swim with me?” he said in a rush, his accent coming out stronger and making it so I had to think for a moment before I could pull the words apart and make sense of them. Apparently I took too long, because he started saying, “Of course, if you’re not interested, I wouldn’t—”

  “No, I’m interested,” I said quickly, not sure why I did so. Maybe it was so I could figure him out and stop thinking about him, though that hadn’t really been on my mind when I’d replied. No, what had been on my mind was remembering what he looked like in a swimsuit. Really. However ashamed I am to admit it, that was what crossed my mind. I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts but didn’t dare unsay what I’d said.

  I couldn’t, not when he smiled a real, genuine, heart-stopping smile, and said, “You are?” all eagerly. Like maybe he didn’t dislike me at all.

  The next instant, though, the smile was gone, and that inscrutable expression from the night before was back
.

  “Yeah, I like swimming,” I said belatedly. Why couldn’t I have a normal conversation with this man? “Did you swim in high school?” I blurted in an attempt to make the conversation normal.

  He looked at me oddly before nodding. “I swam on my school’s team for six years.”

  “Six years?”

  “I attended the same private school for all my pre-university education,” he explained.

  “Weird. So when you were a senior, you still had to eat lunch with kindergarteners?” I asked, trying to picture it.

  He laughed. I’d forgotten how rich his laughter was, and how well I liked it. “You attended public school, then?” he asked instead of answering my question.

  “From kindergarten to senior-hood,” I replied promptly.

  “Hmm. And university?”

  “I went to Julliard, actually,” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral. I didn’t want to talk about Julliard, didn’t want to talk about the hopes I’d cherished then, the hopes that had rekindled when he’d come to Meryton, the hopes that had come to nothing.

  He was impressed. “Julliard? Very nice.”

  “Thanks. I got a scholarship and everything,” I said flatly. I wasn’t trying to brag. I wasn’t sure what I was trying to do. The words had just . . . come out.

  “You should have,” he said quietly, in a voice I couldn’t mistake for anything but sincere.

  I shrugged and remembered all over again how close I was to him as my shoulder rubbed up and down his. “It didn’t come to much,” slipped from my mouth, bitter and angry. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a pouting child.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, surprised.

  I snorted. “I guess it escaped your notice, but my career hasn’t exactly taken off.”

  He was silent for so long that I was on the point of excusing myself and leaving when he spoke. “You have true talent, Lilly. You deserve the world’s attention.”

  I was stunned. “Thank you,” I said automatically. Will Darcy had just given me a compliment, and a really nice one at that.

  I looked up at him and found his face only inches from mine. His eyes were mesmerizing. All thought evaporated from my mind and I forgot to move.

  If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought he leaned forward. Like he wanted to kiss me. And, crazy as it sounds, I would’ve let him. I probably would’ve even kissed him back. Me! Kiss Will Darcy! As if.

  Fortunately, he stood abruptly. “I have to go.”

  Feeling dazed, I blinked about forty times. “Oh. Um, do you still want to swim with me?”

  Already halfway out of the clearing, he turned back, that same unreadable expression that I was starting to seriously hate back on his face. “Yes.”

  “Tomorrow?” I suggested.

  He nodded.

  “Meet me here at, say, eight?” I went on when he didn’t open his mouth.

  He made a face. “Nine. I’m not usually up this early.”

  I smiled in relief. “Me neither. Nine.”

  He looked like he was going to say more, but he shook his head ever so slightly and was gone before I could count to three.

  “What was that?” I said to myself, ten thousand new thoughts spinning through my mind, none of them making any sense.

  I didn’t tell anyone about meeting Will Darcy in the woods when I got back to Collin’s house. Not even Charlotte. I almost did. A dozen times, it was on the tip of my tongue. Just a simple, “Hey, you’ll never guess who I ran into this morning.” But a dozen times, I swallowed the words.

  Apparently I was acting odd. Charlotte asked if I wanted to stay home instead of coming to tour the studio with Mariah and her while Collin worked.

  I shook my head. “No, I want to come.”

  Her hazel eyes looked intently at me. “You just seem a little . . . off.”

  I smiled, the motion automatic and stiff. I dropped the smile. “I didn’t sleep that well last night.”

  She nodded, and though her expression stayed doubtful she thankfully didn’t press me.

  I was distracted all day. For once we didn’t see Catherine or Princess, and by extension we didn’t see Will or Liam. I kept fretting about tomorrow. I told myself I was just going for a swim, but that didn’t explain the butterflies that shook my core every time I thought about it.

  When morning finally rolled around the next day, I wasn’t sure if my relief that it would soon be over or my intense nerves at seeing Will were stronger. I knew I was being ridiculous, acting sillier than any of my younger sisters, but I couldn’t quite laugh myself out of my worrying.

  I slipped out of the house, my one piece on under my sweats and tee, wearing tennis shoes and a towel around my neck, without anyone seeing me. I laughed softly at myself after checking over my shoulder the third time to see if anyone was following me. It was hardly a romantic tryst. Just a sort of awkward meeting of acquaintances, if we even counted as acquaintances.

  I ended up getting a bit lost trying to find the clearing. I’d almost given up when I caught sight of fabric.

  Will was sitting on the same stump, watching me as I came closer.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I said breathlessly, and inwardly rolled my eyes at myself—the breathlessness wasn’t all because of exertion.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he said with disconcerting honesty.

  “I wasn’t either,” I said, surprising myself. Then, impishly, I said, “But I wanted to see if your body is as nice as I remembered.”

  He blushed. I swear he blushed.

  I smirked. “Don’t get all modest on me, Will. I promise it’s completely platonic interest.”

  “Can you have platonic interest in someone else’s body?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said philosophically, “I believe you can. Now where’s this swimming hole?”

  He quirked a smile at swimming hole, then nodded north. “That way.”

  “Why didn’t Liam come?” I asked as we walked.

  I wasn’t sure, but I thought his shoulders stiffened. “Did you want to get a better look at his body too?” he asked, a trace of unpleasantness in his deep voice.

  “Guilty as charged,” I said lightly, ignoring the signs I wasn’t sure I’d read right anyway. He didn’t reply. “Don’t get your panties in a twist,” I said dryly. “I was actually just wondering.”

  He snorted when I said panties. Why did I like him better after he snorted?

  Yuri. Don’t forget what he did to Yuri. Why did I have to keep reminding myself I didn’t like Will?

  “Liam prefers running to swimming,” Will said after a moment.

  “Jane likes running too,” I said. “She’s in LA right now,” I went on.

  He didn’t answer immediately. “I didn’t know that.”

  “Yeah? I know she told Carrie. Were you not with Carrie?”

  “I was with Carrie,” he answered.

  “Hmm. Guess she didn’t think it was worth mentioning.” We walked in silence for a moment.

  Then: “Here it is.”

  I crested the hill behind Will. “Oh,” I breathed. It was incredible. The lake was a flawless blue—deep and dark like Will’s eyes, I thought despite myself—and mirror-still, surrounded by graceful pines, the mountains rising misted in golden sunlight behind it.

  I’d walked forward unconsciously. I stood on the shore, soft, wet sand beneath my shoes. I wanted it between my toes, and took my shoes and socks off without another thought, sinking my feet into it, sighing. It immediately relaxed me.

  “Do you like it?”

  I jumped at the reminder that I wasn’t alone. I laughed at my own edginess. “I love it,” I said, and I’ll admit I was gushing. “It’s gorgeous.”

  “Beat you in,” he said suddenly, and in the time I took to register what he’d said, he’d stripped down to his swimming trunks and was halfway into the water.

  I laughed freely and threw my sweats and tee aside, running past him to dive under. The water wa
s electrifyingly cold, and I burst out, gasping with dripping hair in my face. “It’s freezing!” I exclaimed when Will’s dark head appeared.

  He smiled, lazily treading the water. “It is, isn’t it?”

  “You can’t like water this temperature?”

  “Is it too cold for you?” he asked innocently.

  I splashed him impetuously. He spluttered for a moment, blinking rapidly. My smirk was just getting good when he splashed me back. It quickly turned into a war, not ending until I had to surrender and crawl back to the shore, lying flat on the surprisingly soft sand, heedless of how messy I’d get.

  Will came and joined me, lying right on the sand, breathing almost as hard as I was.

  “That was fun,” he said at length.

  Um, okay. “Yeah, it was.” And it had been. I’d had fun with Will Darcy? Did that make me a bad person? I still didn’t like him. Right?

  Then he shifted, rolling onto his side and facing me. I got an eyeful of his sandy bare chest and quickly looked up to his face, doing my very best not to blush at the thoughts that had sprung into my mind. “Lilly . . .” His eyes were intense on mine.

  “Yeah?”

  “I . . . do you like Hunsford?”

  I wasn’t sure what I’d thought he’d say, but it hadn’t been that. “Sure. It’s nice,” I said, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He looked oddly nervous.

  “Good. You . . . do you miss your family?”

  “Um, yeah, I guess. Jane and my dad mostly.”

  He nodded, as if I’d told him something interesting and important. Why had he gone and gotten all awkward? “I just . . . I have to know—or, erm, I mean . . .”

  “Spit it out, Will,” I advised, getting impatient.

  “Have you ever been to England?”

  What? “No. Why?”

  He shrugged nonchalantly, the motion odd with his weight on his shoulder. “I think you’d like it. Do you want to visit?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I love traveling. I want to go pretty much anywhere.”