In Pursuit of Light

by Sarah B Meadows

  I look over at Jack who’s standing by the bay window with his back to us. His head is dipped down to his chest like he’s weighed down in thought. His blonde hair is still pulled back into a leather tie, but he’s already changed out of his fighting gear into light cotton trousers and a silk tunic.

  How that man can do so much in such a short amount of time borders on crazy. His behaviour is beginning to rattle my nerves. He knows who she is, and it scares him.

  I make my way over to the bed, sitting on the edge, I wait for Jack to decide how to go about this.

  Chapter Two

  Jack

  When they had her in that forsaken place, I could feel her energy from five miles away. Denial is not something I have ever indulged in, yet that energy can only come from something as pure as life itself. Something unspoilt, untouched and still in tune with what it means to be alive. I told myself that there could be no possible way that there was one of her kind there, that perhaps the energy was being emitted from a piece of technology instead. Then it moved and I knew I had to follow it.

  Ayrans are close to what humans were before the parasite invasion over seven thousand years ago. History, as humans understand it, was retold and manipulated, making them all feel tiny and insignificant. Memories were erased and the mind was hijacked. DNA was rewritten, and all knowledge of their origins removed and destroyed.

  Mid Arch was still free from the parasite the last time I visited, before getting stuck here in Gaia. There seems to be a barrier that it cannot pass. Unfortunately, that could not be said for the scum which would occasionally find their way into Mid Arch. I spent much of my childhood in Mid Arch, growing up with the Ayran children and learning how to move as they do. No other race can move that way. We would visit as often as we could, bringing gifts that they would usually find amusing.

  The journey to Mid Arch from my homeland of Fresbeck would take us weeks, but as soon as we stepped across the boundary into their land, time seemed to shift. They have no sun or moon to tell night from day, and it disorients the mind. Many times, I tried to climb to the tops of their Ancient Trees which are taller than any skyscraper in Gaia. The girth of the mature ones is at least a mile wide, and they stretch so high the tops could not be seen from the undergrowth. Their lower branches are so thick you could comfortably fit a village on them. When I came of age, I tried to scale them, to see what was above the dense canopy of thick, lush, colourful foliage. Yet when I reached a particular apex, I would either pass out or forget why I was climbing. After the twelfth time of falling and breaking too many bones, leaving me out of ‘The Chase’ for the summer, I gave up. I asked the Ayrans what could be seen beyond the treetops, but they only ever replied, ‘It is only for those with eyes to see’.

  Turning back to face the room, I make my way over to Rolland and look him in the eye, hoping he understands how austere I am. “Be ready, Rolland. I am unsure of how long this will take or even if it will work on the first attempt.” Puzzled at my lack of confidence no doubt, he raises an eyebrow in question.

  Placing my left hand on her forehead, I take a calming breath and prepare myself for another onslaught of her mind.

  Dropping down into her mind... is easy, which it should not be. All Ayrans have natural defences within their minds to prevent intrusion, unlike humans. Humans are only able to muster a small shield which is fragile, even after years of practice. Her mind, however, is nothing like what I expected it to be. There are no memories to look on, no thought paths to see and no emotions to feel. It is empty, though it is clear she has buried it all somewhere.

  As I look around me at the beach I stand on, I find it very similar to those found on Gaia, except the sand under my feet which is black and has no softness to it. To my right is the sea, which is an unusual grey colour, with waves that seem to be calming from the storm that just passed. When I dropped into her mind previously, a raging storm greeted me with the full intent of destroying me. I eventually found her, curled up in a cocoon on the clifftop to my left. This time the sky is scorched and torn, most likely from continuous attacks, although I cannot be sure as it is new to my eyes. With no prominent place to start searching for her, I start off toward the same area I found her before.

  Following the path I took last time up the cliff, I begin pulling myself up using tufts of grass and tree roots. No other sounds to be heard except the waves that still crash against the giant rocks beneath me as the wind ripples through my hair like a caress.

  Finally reaching the top, I pull myself up onto my feet and I begin making my way toward the spot I found her in previously. Long grass taller than me grows to my right and I can see what looks to be a mountain in the very far distance. Nothing here is what can be seen in Mid Arch. Some areas perhaps but not in the heart where all Ayrans live. There are small trees like those found just outside of The Dark Lands, and there are others that look like those from Gaia, all scattered about.

  The ground beneath my feet is dry, as though it has not rained in months, which is a complete contradiction to the storm that was here just a short time ago.

  As I pass another blackened tree that seems to have no life within it, I come to the large boulders she was curled up between before. Except now she is not here. My heart skips a beat, knowing I have been here far too long already. Time is elusive within someone’s mind. Much like when the mind is in a dream state, it feels as though you have just closed your eyes, but hours have passed. Yet, you could sit and watch a wall, feeling each moment pass, like it is an eternity.

  I look at the mountain in the distance, wondering if she has taken refuge there. I begin walking through the long grass, pushing it aside as I go.

  After what feels like too long, a noise pulls my attention to the right of the grass. I freeze, allowing my ears to readjust to the silence that now comes from my lack of movement. I wait patiently. Breathing steady.

  The snap of a twig pulls at my ears from the right again. Moving slowly, I keep alert, ignoring the snapping of grass under my feet. Eventually, the grass begins to thin, opening out into a clearing that has many boulders off to the right. Another tree that looks more like those found on Gaia stands strong and healthy toward the back. Stepping softly, I begin looking amongst the boulders, hoping she is here. My heart starts to race slightly as time feels like it pokes at my back, reminding me of what happens if I stay too long.

  Within the last pile of large boulders, I finally see her. Curled tightly into a ball within her cocoon, my heart breaks for her. Seeing her like this within her mind is beyond a doubt the saddest I have felt for many years. The cocoon is made up of translucent colours that move and swirl amongst each other. An Ayran foetus sack membrane is made up of the same energy and substance as the one she is using. Impenetrable, yet so delicate to look upon.

  I crouch down, moving slowly so as not to scare her, and as I get closer, I can see she is trembling, seeming to struggle to take a full breath. Her head is tucked into her chest, with her arms pulled over her head. My foot makes a small sound and she freezes.

  “It is just me again,” I say softly, but she keeps herself frozen. “I had to leave. But I am not going anywhere this time.” Still, she does not move, though a slight tremor makes its way across her shoulders. “My name is Jack, a Tyrian, and you have my word that I would never hurt you or one of your kind,” I speak softly to her, hoping some of my words will reach her ears through all her fear. “Just take a deep breath, there is no one else here except us.” She does not respond, keeping her body tightly wound up.

  Running my hand over her cocoon so she can feel my energy, it pulses back at me, indicating to me that she is exploring me, searching and testing to see if my words are true. Static travels up my fingers and along my arm, searching for falsehood. She finally lifts her head a fraction, but I still cannot see her eyes.

  Wind picks up behind me, and I begin to wonder if another storm is manifesting. She shivers as it curls around the cocoon.

  “You are going
to be fine, sweet Ayran. You are safe now. No one is going to hurt you.”

  Thunder begins to rumble from behind me and I curse it internally. She trembles harder, pulling her head back within herself.

  “Just listen to my voice, not the storm, just my voice,” I say to her, keeping my voice as soft as I can. Her shoulders relax. “Good girl. Now take a deep breath and focus on the air going through your lungs.” She takes a small breath, but trembles again.

  Another roll of thunder breaks behind me. I feel time closing in at my back and I wonder how long I have been here.

  “Can you tell me your name?” I ask gently. She does not say anything, and doubt starts to ebb away at me as to whether I will be able to pull her from here.

  “Kia,” she finally responds, her voice barely a whisper.

  I feel my whole body sigh in relief. Without realising it, my head leans forward to rest onto her cocoon, static washing through my mind. I pull my head back to look at her again.

  She finally looks up from her arms and I get my first look at her beautiful blue sapphire eyes. Even though she has been crying the whites of her eyes are still clear. The deep blue of her irises swirl like the wind around us. Stunned at their beauty, I feel myself becoming lost in them. Her soul is still whole, still there, just torn apart. It feels like a thousand years since I have seen eyes of such beauty. All Ayrans have the same multi-coloured eyes that change with their moods, but hers seem so much more profound. I cannot say I have ever seen another Ayran with eyes that swirl like hers as if an artist has dipped its coloured brush into clean water to rinse it.

  Internally I shake myself out of it, so I can find my tongue again. “I know how hard this is, but I ask you to trust me.” Her eyes search mine.

  Another roll of thunder breaks through, and it sounds like it is just behind me now. She trembles at the sound of it but keeps her eyes steady on mine. Rain starts up, along with another roll of thunder, and she buries her head back into her arms again.

  “Listen to my voice, Kia, not the storm. I am right here. Just you and me. The storm is just noise, nothing else.” I keep speaking softly to her, but she continues to cry into her arms.

  My heart seems to hurt, as though someone has put a blade through it. Taking another deep breath, I lean my head onto her cocoon, wondering how I am ever going to get her out of here.

  The static barrier between us drops, and I let out a breath of relief, though I do not raise my head yet. A few moments later I hear movement and I chance a look up. She is sitting up straighter but with her arms curled around her middle.

  Giving into my desire, I pull her into my arms without another thought. She is trembling but thankfully does not push me away. Stroking her hair as I hold her in my arms, she finally calms down enough to look up.

  I could lose myself in her eyes, honestly, lose track of who I am or why I am here. They remind me of my homeland and its people. Clear of any deception or lies. Truth and innocence are all that shine back. The purity of life still within its meaning.

  Without realising it, my head has moved closer to hers. My mind has shut down as though it is under the control of my body, with no rational thought remaining, just a single need to taste her lips, to feel home and whole again.

  My lips touch hers and the full force of her emotions hit me. Fear is still rolling through her, but desire is right on its heels, giving chase. And simmering just under the surface of it all, the desperate need to also feel complete.

  A small thought to stop my foolishness rises but is squashed by the need to feel more of her.

  Tracing her lips with my tongue, I hear her breath hitch. Her hand moves up my neck as she opens her lips to me. I doubt I will ever get enough of the taste of her. Warmth spreads through me and I feel her body relax against me completely.

  Being switched off to my own emotions and desires for so long, I risk losing myself to her. My own need for more starts to rise and I am not sure I have any strength to fight it, to fight her.

  I continue to explore her mouth and hear her breathe deeply as I push some of my energy into her.

  I finally find the strength to stop and pull back from her lips. When I do, it is to see her eyes shining with tiny specs of silver stars deep within them. Her pupils are dilated, and I know I have her full attention.

  “Listen to my voice, Kia. I am right here with you, angel,” I say as I pull her to her feet with me, so we are both standing.

  The next part of pulling her back is a lot harder.

  “I cannot ask you to trust me, but you can still trust yourself.” She blinks but holds my gaze. “Close your eyes and tell me what you can hear?” I ask softly.

  A moment passes before she closes her eyes, tightening her grip on my back. I can tell she is hearing the storm around us, not the sounds on the surface.

  “The storm is not real, Kia, it is just inside you. Listen to your heartbeat.” A small crease appears on her forehead.

  Pulling partly from her mind so that my awareness is upon the surface as well as in her mind, I speak to her aloud, pulling her back to her physical body. “Kia, angel, wake up for me.”

  She lurches awake faster than I expected and jolts from Rolland’s arms. Rolland makes a grab for her but is too slow and she falls to the floor, landing on her side.

  She recovers fast and begins scrambling away on her hands and feet. Rolland sounds as though he is struggling to catch his breath after the onslaught of her pain.

  “Kia, it is me, Jack,” I say, still using my home language to speak to her. She glances at me, but her eyes flash back to Rolland just as her arms give out, unable to hold her weight, and she falls limply to the floor again.

  I scoop her back into my arms as I speak. “Rolland, sit on the bed with your back to the headboard. Let us try this again. Perhaps if she does not see you when she first opens her eyes, we may have a chance of keeping her awake long enough to calm her.”

  Rolland is still hunched over on the floor, trying to catch his breath. He looks up at me with eyes full of questions.

  The longer it takes to get back into her mind, the more time she has to run.

  “How can someone so small, feel so much pain and still be alive?” His voice is a mixture of disbelief and awe.

  Taking a deep breath, I give him the only information that I know to be true. “She is stronger than all of us put together, Rolland. I do not have time to explain… please, I beg of you. Get on the bed and prepare yourself if you want to help or I shall take her to someone else that can.”

  He’s up in a heartbeat, taking her from me. “She’s not going anywhere, arsehole. She stays in my arms, or I’ll cut your pretty little head off of your shoulders while Seb makes kebab sticks with your eyeballs if you so much as think of moving her from this house.” He means every word of it.

  “Good. Now please hurry up, you are wasting time.” A sharpness comes with my words that I did not intend to slip out, but my heart is pounding knowing she can be anywhere within such a vast space.

  He repositions himself on the bed as I instructed him to do and curls her small frame against his chest.

  Sebastian covers her with the blanket. I had almost forgotten he was here. His ability to blend into the shadows is exceptional.

  Positioning myself so that I kneel on one leg in front of them on the bed, I take another look up into Rolland’s eyes.

  He stares back with a look of determination this time. Closing my eyes again, I place my hand along her forehead, slipping back into her mind far too quickly.

  I land back in the opening with the boulders, but she is not amongst them. Looking up at the mountain, I start running toward it. A part of me knows she is there. Unsure of what going into that mountain will mean, I push harder.

  I come to a halt when I find the entrance guarded by two giant lions, closer to the size of heavy weight horses than those of regular lions on Gaia. Their deep, honey colour fur and bronze manes appear a little darker under their wings which are folded
high behind their backs, shadowing their head’s slightly.

  As I come to a halt, they both stand, preparing themselves to pounce. Two sets of eyes glow back, stopping me in my tracks. Their tails flick in annoyance to my presence, daring me to move.

  I feel entirely out of my depth with how to proceed. Never in all my life have I ever come across a mind like this. If they strike me, will they have any real effect on me?

  One of the winged lion’s attention is pulled to the entrance of the mountain, but the other continues to stare down at me with deep golden eyes. I feel as though it is running a claw down my insides. The first winged lion turns and heads off into the mountain, leaving the second to watch me. I keep my eyes steady, hoping with all my heart it sees nothing but the truth within me.

  The remaining winged lion sniffs at the air. My stomach drops out slightly, but I cannot leave her here.

  The lion takes a step forward and my instinct is to step back, but I keep my stance steady, yet not threatening. It takes another couple of steps closer, continuing to sniff the air.

  My people are all about confidence, never letting the opponent see your fears or weaknesses. Years of practice is put into masking each emotion, controlling the body’s urges and needs.

  Applying every ounce of control over my body, I remain calm, focusing on getting to Kia, not on the thousand-pound lion that wants to eat me.

  I hear a purr as it gets closer, which puzzles me. A few more steps brings the lion within touching distance. It continues to purr as it walks around me, coming to a halt as it stands on my other side.

  I take a tentative step forward and since he makes no move, I continue, hearing his purr grow louder as I move away.

  Picking up the pace, I move into the mountain’s entrance and follow the tunnel around till it opens out into a large pit. My eyes find Kia standing to the side, looking down into the abyss with such longing, I wonder what holds her back.