In Pursuit of Light

by Sarah B Meadows

  None of this makes any rational sense. It is more like taking a step into a dream than her thoughts. How has she been able to do this?

  “Kia, what is down there?” I question, my voice echoing off of the walls. I would think it would startle her, yet she stands entranced by the pit.

  I move closer to her, looking around for the first winged lion, but it is nowhere to be found.

  I get within reaching distance of her, hoping to grab her if she steps off. “What is down there, sweet angel?” I ask again, looking down into the abyss. Light flickers off the walls of the cave from torches onto her face, catching on the tears that fall freely toward the ground.

  “Me,” spoken as a whisper, but its echoes off the walls, seeming to sound louder than my own. I frown, puzzled by her answer.

  “Kia, I know you are afraid and looking for comfort, but you are stronger than this, I can feel it.” Her foot moves forward an inch. “Just give me another chance, I beg you, Kia… please.”

  She turns her head to the right slightly. “It hurts and there is so much darkness out there.” Another tear tracks down her cheek.

  I chance another step closer. Kia looks up into my eyes and it feels as if she is holding me there. “One more chance, Kia, and if I fail you, I will not stop you next time.” She looks back into the abyss with such yearning.

  I offer her my hand, but she hesitates. “I just want to go home,” she says. Her voice is so small, but she turns to me taking my hand.

  Pulling her into my arms, I feel her take her own breath of relief. “Let us try this again, angel,” I speak into her ear. “Tell me what you feel, Kia?”

  I wait for her reply, but I can feel time pushing at my back again.

  Moving her head to the side as though trying to follow a sound. “It has a different rhythm to my own.” I realise she is hearing Rolland’s heartbeat.

  This should work.

  “Concentrate on that sound and nothing else, Kia. Do not look or listen to anything more. Just the steady beat and rhythm of that heart.” I feel her body relax against me and as I start to pull myself back to the surface, I feel her coming with me this time.

  Chapter Three

  Rolland

  Her pain creeps back slowly this time and I ready myself for the onslaught. It takes every ounce of my control not to move or make a sound, afraid I might startle her again.

  I feel every broken bone, cut, bruise, sprain and burn she has travel through my own body as I pull it all away from her and into me. There are three broken ribs on her front left side and four on the back right. The sprains she has in both hands ache deeply and there’s a substantial pulsing on the back of her head. The fire from her back hits me and a wave of dizziness rolls over me. I wonder if it’s her pain causing it or my own body trying to give in from taking in too much so fast. Wanting to confirm I’ve gotten it all, I continue to search her body for any part that I might have missed, starting at her head and working my way down. All is good until I get to her legs, where ripples of pain shiver up from her knee joints and sharp stabbing currents come up from her feet.

  This piece of my gift took years to master, yet it still feels like I’m missing something crucial. For a while it’s easy to take on the pain of another entity, displacing it, however, is far more difficult. The whole process is incredibly draining both physically and mentally, but I eventually found that carrying it as weight seems to work best, although it gets tiring fast. Burying the pain within me seems natural, yet the consequences of doing so means I end up out of it for days.

  I feel her head move to the side, but I keep my eyes shut. Fuck. How can someone so small endure that much pain? Every inch of her body is wracked with it.

  Jack’s smooth voice sounds nearby, speaking to her in his language, one that none of us can understand. Does that mean she’s from his homeland? Her energy is different from his or anyone I’ve ever met, but she seems to recognise it, as she nods her head once in response to whatever he asked. I hear him say my name and I feel her head turn up, but I continue to keep my eyes closed.

  Unexpectedly her emotions come bubbling up, threatening to overthrow my concentration as I continue to work on her pain. With my last remaining amount of focus, I push some calming warmth into her tired, overwrought body. After a few seconds, I feel her relax completely and curl into me. I’m glad for all of the years I’ve had practising this technique, as I doubt I would’ve had the strength to do this otherwise.

  A few minutes pass and I hear Jack’s voice spill through my concentration. I’ve got a firm grip on the balance now, so it doesn’t distract me. “Rolland, her name is Kia and she is in desperate need of rest and nourishment to heal her body. Some of her memories will be buried deep within her mind so she will be acting on instinct alone now. I will be back shortly with some crystals to help heal her mind, so she can understand you.” His voice moves to my right as he stands.

  “Sebastian, once she has some nourishment in her, you can start to heal her slowly. She has no reserves left, so any extra strain will push her to revert back to the safety of her mind.” His voice is further away, but not far enough that I can’t hear him. “I will be back as soon as I can.” He says something else in his language and I feel Kia stiffen but nod. Fear is still pouring out of her in buckets, but she curls back into me.

  Times stretches on and I’m not sure if I’ve been laying here for five minutes or five hours. Her fear has subsided slightly, becoming more like a dull throb than a sharp ache. Continuing to pull her pain away, I open my eyes to chance a look.

  Deep blue eyes look back at me and I’m drawn to the specks of silver swirling within them. They’re like two moving marbles in the night sky and I can’t help but feel like I’m looking at life itself. Her eyes search mine for something, maybe my soul? I don’t fight her gaze - I have nothing to hide except my fear of her leaving the safety of my embrace. My arms tighten a fraction in response to the thought, but her reaction isn’t what I expected. Instead of pushing away, she curls herself deeper into my chest and I feel her arm move around my waist.

  Closing my eyes again, I feel her relax completely into me. As she does, her hand touches my open wound. She gasps as she sits up quickly. Damn it, I should have had Seb heal it earlier.

  I open my eyes again to see her staring at me. Her brow is furrowed in confusion and puzzlement, as she looks at her small fingers covered in my blood.

  Seb’s bed sheets will have my blood soaking through them. Good! Serves him right for being such a cocky shit earlier.

  The blanket around her shoulders slips down, but she doesn’t seem to notice or care. Moving slowly so as not to frighten her, I pull it back up over her shoulders. Her eyes search mine again. It’s as though she’s examining my own emotions, but all I feel is the need to protect her, to take away every ounce of pain her body endures. She relaxes and leans forward, resting her head on my chest.

  A few moments later I hear Seb’s footfalls making their way through the house toward us. Kia stiffens slightly in alarm.

  “Shh it’s okay, Kia, it’s just Sebastian,” I reassure her in my quietest voice. Rubbing my hand up her back, I feel a massive wave of pain slam through me. Moving my hand away slowly from her back, I move it to her head and begin to wonder what other marks and bruises she has that we still haven’t seen.

  Seb appears in the doorway with a tray in his hands. If having skills in the kitchen was said to be a gift, then that would be another of his. I can’t cook for shit, but Seb’s a natural. The smell of something hits my senses and I can’t help the moan that escapes me.

  Kia flinches, probably thinking I’m in pain again. I open my eyes and give her a small smile to show her I’m okay, but she just looks back in confusion. Seb makes his way round to the other side of the bed where there’s room for him to sit, placing the tray of soups down as he does.

  Kia keeps her eyes on me for several more seconds before turning her head in Seb’s direction. He freezes in his movemen
ts, like a deer caught in the headlights. As a bystander, it’s amusing to watch. Seb is just as lost to her as I am.

  I’m starving, and my body needs nourishment to replenish the blood loss and the energy I’m using to keep her pain away. My stomach rumbles and Kia’s head whips back toward me. Has she seriously never heard a stomach rumble before?

  Seb releases the breath he’s been holding in and moves slowly to pass me a bowl of soup first. Kia’s eyes track his movement, looking at it like it’s going to hurt me. Her reactions are becoming a little concerning, but I take the bowl from Seb. It smells like his vegetable soup. I haven’t a clue what’s in it, but it’s a hearty meal he saves for occasions when one of us takes a hammering.

  Kia still eyes it up as though she wants to knock it out my hand, but after a few spoonful’s she looks down at the bowl in my lap. I see the moment the smell hits her senses as I watch her pink tongue sneak out to wet her beautiful lips. I take a spoonful of the soup, savouring the flavours. Damn that man can cook.

  “Did I tell you how amazing you are, Brother?” I’m still looking at Kia but aim my words at Seb. He moves closer to us, taking the second bowl into his hands.

  After a few more spoonful’s, I attempt to sit up, but the pain from the still open bullet wound washes over me. I slump back tiredly against the headboard as the bowl gets whipped away from my grasp.

  I feel Kia try to get off my lap, but I manage to find her hips, keeping her firmly in place. “My bad, my bad,” I say through clenched teeth.

  Checking that I still have a good grip on her pain as well as my own, I chance to open my eyes to find two angry sets focused on me. Kia’s dark blue ones are like slow spinning marbles and Seb’s cognac ones look about ready to knock me out.

  “If your done being a spoilt princess, can I heal you now?” Seb says quietly through tight lips.

  “Yeah, yeah, just get on with it already,” I tell him. I can tell Kia doesn’t understand us as I feel her begin to panic. “Kia, you’re okay.” I point to my side and then to Seb, pushing some more of my comforting energy into her.

  She seems to understand as she doesn’t go to move away again or stop Seb from coming closer. Seb lowers himself down onto his haunches and lifts my shirt. He rests his hand carefully on the wound and I feel warmth begin to spread up my side. I can feel muscles stitching themselves back together and my skin rebuilding itself.

  I let out a deep sigh of relief at the same time I feel Kia’s hand move to see if it’s healed. I can feel her own relief seep through and when I look up, it’s to find her watching Seb, her eyes wide and thoughtful. He sits back on the other side of the bed, passing me back the bowl of soup. Kia looks on with more interest in the soup this time. Instead of mistrust in her eyes now, there’s curiosity. I take a spoonful of soup and hold it up to her lips, hoping she’ll take some. She opens her mouth and sips the soup tentatively and another spike of pain flares up as she swallows. Just as I thought earlier, her throat and vocal cords are damaged.

  Taking the spoon back, I offer her another mouthful which she sips more willingly. The thought occurs that I could pass her the bowl so that she could feed herself, but from what I saw of her hands earlier, I doubt she could even hold the spoon.

  I feel her trust build with each spoonful of soup she accepts from me but when a small crease appears on her forehead, I wonder what has her looking suddenly confused. She glances up to meet my eyes again, opening her mouth as though to speak, but nothing comes out.

  Pain flares up and I realise she’s trying to speak but can’t. She closes her eyes and slumps her head and shoulders forward. Frustration seeps through and my heart breaks for her. I sit up without a struggle this time, trying to comfort her.

  Taking her head in my hand, I lift it up so she’s not bent forward, and I try to get her attention. “Kia, what is it? What has you so sad?” She looks back down at the bowl and then back up at me.

  Surely it can’t be because she’s eaten all my soup. “The soup? Is that what has you so sad?” I look over at Seb who seems just as puzzled as I do. “Pass me the other bowl and please tell me you made more.” He passes me the one meant for her then is up and out the door before I finish.

  After she empties the second bowl, her eyelids start to droop, so I pull her forward gently and find not much encouragement is needed. She snuggles deeper into my arm, her face buried into my lower chest. One of her hands loops around my back and the other clings to my shirt. Her fingers look black and blue with a couple looking dislocated. How she’s holding onto my shirt is a mystery.

  A few moments later, Seb reappears with more bowls. “I thought your soup was magic before, but now I’m beginning to question if you’re slipping something more than food into it,” I joke, trying to pull a smile from him.

  His lips twitch, but he doesn’t laugh. “Don’t give me ideas, Brother. I may just do that the next time you decide to refuse to let me heal you,” he responds as he takes his former place on the other side of the bed. “Did she eat much more?” he inquires, keeping his voice low, his usual smoky tone more intense.

  “She took a second bowl then gave in to her body’s need to sleep.” My stomach rumbles again, so Seb passes me another bowl. Three servings later and I feel my energy levels begin to replenish.

  Closing my eyes to help refocus on drawing her pain away, I feel Seb climb off of the bed followed by the sounds of him cleaning up. Kia’s hand tightens reflexively on my shirt as she burrows herself into my side and I settle us down deeper into the bed.

  Something tells me it’s going to be a very long night.

  Chapter Four

  Jack

  As I return to Sebastian’s room, my hand reaches into my pocket to gently rub the beautiful black gem, known as Gauldrix, that lies quietly within and I cannot help but wonder if Kia will recognise it. Stones, gems, and crystals are not mined back in my homeland and it is considered a crime to remove them.

  When my homeland was invaded, all of our homes were destroyed by the same infestation that now riddles Gaia, but I managed to take a few pieces of what remained of one of the last Ancient Trees that had fallen. The Ancient Trees grew higher than any skyscraper I have seen on this plane and could house thousands of families, heal any wound or infection, and held all of the secrets of our ancestors. The Gauldrix still carries the same power as it once did, but it needs the energy of another living thing to power it. Back home, it would have been powered by The Source but now that it is cut off, it sits dormant.

  The room is peacefully quiet as I stand there looking at Kia curled up in Rolland’s lap, taking in her stunning beauty. My eyes home in on her small hand as it clutches Rolland’s shirt, helping to settle my mind knowing she has found some semblance of comfort whilst I was gone. I also cannot help but hope that some measure of trust was earned as well, even if only a little.

  Movement to the right pulls at my attention. Sebastian is staring at me with the same tortured look in his eyes that he had earlier. His dark hair has taken the brunt of his frustration and as I watch, the lines on his forehead deepen and a muscle in his jaw begins to tick. Bowls are piled up beside him, but the water jug does not look to have been touched. Ayrans drink water purified by The Source at the heart of Mid Arch, but the water here is full of the same parasites that have taken over Gaia and there are very few ways of cleansing it fully. I walk over to the water jug and drop a small Brondroll stone into it, which should only take a few minutes to cleanse the water.

  “How much longer do I need to wait?” Sebastian’s refined tone is tight, yet he is keeping considerable calm given the circumstances.

  “How much has she eaten?” I glance over at her briefly before shifting my eyes to meet Sebastian’s.

  “Two bowls.” No emotions come through his words. I am impressed that she managed so much in her first sitting.

  “See if you can get her to take a bowl of rice. Keep it simple and stick with vegetables. Use one of the Brondroll stones to cleanse t
he water before you boil it. Once she has eaten that, take her through to your healing bath. Do not overdo it, Sebastian. Just a little at a time, or you will do more damage than good,” I inform, while moving back to the other side of the bed, taking the space remaining by Rolland’s leg

  Sebastian makes his way out of the room but stops at the door. “Who is she, Jack?” he asks before letting out a breath of frustration, then turns back to me, waiting for me to answer. Is he ready? I have kept so much from them all for so long.

  “She is what is known as an Ayran, although not much is known about them. Their homeland, which we call Mid Arch, is realms outside the ice circle. The outer area that surrounds their lands is only passable by foot, and for reasons unknown to us, their land is impenetrable by The Swarm. I visited on many occasions whilst growing up, learning the ways to channel The Source. It is her direct connection to The Source that is enhancing Rolland’s protective nature, and why you feel the need to heal her more than your need to take your next breath.”

  I pause as I glance over at Kia before continuing. “They are closest to the origin of all humanoid life as we know it. Their energy is still pure and uncorrupted, attractive to all of the life around them. Unless we can find a way to cleanse her of the infection that plagues Gaia, it will take over her body and mind, destroying her memory and leaving her with no knowledge of who she is or where she came from, just like the rest of human life on Gaia.” I look back at Kia. Her eyes are open, as she studying’s me.

  “Thank you for your honesty, Jack, I won’t forget it.” He turns and leaves, pulling the door closed behind him with a soft click.

  I open my hand to show Kia the Gauldrix stone. She looks on curiously but does not show any signs of being angry with me for having it. Her hand reaches out to touch it, but she quickly snatches it back and retreats under the blanket, her eyes full of confusion. That was not the reaction I was expecting from her and I pause momentarily to sort my thoughts.