Hate Me or Love Me

by Ella Miles

  I tighten my grip on her hand. “What fun would that be?”

  “The normal amount of fun,” she teases as I lead her up the stairs to the house.

  “Please tell me we aren’t meeting your long-lost parents or something. I’m not ready for that.”

  I laugh. “Nope. I met them years ago. They were horrible people. Not quite as horrible as my foster parents, but still pretty bad.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, stopping, her brows furrowed in a look of genuine concern.

  I stroke her cheek. “Don’t be. I’m not. Family has never been important to me.”

  She frowns and fidgets with the hem of her dress. “Then, why do you want to get married if family isn’t important to you?”

  I sigh. She’s going to ruin every surprise I have planned for her today. “Just come inside with me, and then we can talk.”

  She wants to fight. I can tell from the fierce stare I’m getting, but she relents and follows me up the stairs to the front door. I reach into my pocket and pull out the key.

  She inquisitively looks at me, but I don’t answer her unspoken question yet. I put the key in the door, unlock it, and push the door open.

  I hold the door open for her, and she walks inside the large house.

  “Wow, this house is beautiful,” Victoria says, looking at the quaint home.

  I take her hand and lead her to the back of the house, out the French doors, and out onto the large patio. Twinkle lights hang overhead, already on, and large trees and flowers cover most of the yard.

  “It’s so peaceful out here,” she says, standing on the patio, looking out over the large backyard, which has a pool where I plan on fucking her later.

  I get down on one knee and pull out the box that I snatched back up after Victoria found it in my pants pocket.

  She grins this time, unlike the last time when I took her completely by shock. I wouldn’t change it for anything though. I loved hearing her say yes with my dick inside her.

  “Victoria, I love you. I don’t have any family, and I never thought I needed one. Not until you and Logan. Logan has always been a brother to me, but for some reason, I could never make you my sister. That’s because I’m meant to be your husband, not brother. I already think of Sailor as my niece. And Amber as a sister. I want us all to be together to figure out whatever our problems are—together.

  “This house is ours if we want it. It’s big enough for us all to share when we are in town. I think, after Amber recovers, it would be good to get her out here to live with Logan and us when we are here. This house is so peaceful and beautiful.

  “But, if that’s not what you want, then I will find another solution. Because your family is my family now, and I will do anything for them.

  “Now, I’ve already asked you this once, albeit not in the most romantic way.”

  I open the box, revealing the large diamond. “Marry me.”

  “Yes,” she says behind her laughter. “It’s crazy, but I’ll marry you.”

  I put the ring on her finger before grabbing her in my arms and twirling her around.

  “You have to promise me some things though if I marry you.”

  I laugh, putting her down but not out of my arms. “Of course you have demands in order for you to marry me.” I sigh. “Let’s hear them.”

  She thinks for a minute with a goofy smile on her face that I love. I love that she has demands. I love that she doesn’t just say yes without having her own needs met.

  “One, we get this house, no matter if my family wants to live here with us part-time or full-time or whatever. I love it.”

  “Done.”

  “Two, you have to promise me that you will respect my decision if I decide not to have kids. I don’t know what I want right now. I love Sailor, but I already have enough people to take care of in my family. And I love my career. I’m not ready to give it up yet.”

  “Done.”

  “Three”—she twists her fingers deep into my hair—“you will never stop fighting with me.”

  I frown. “You want me to fight and argue with you? Seriously?”

  “Yes, fighting with me makes both of us better. It ensures that we will never get bored. It will push us if we have to compete over the same clients in our careers.”

  “Or we could work together?”

  She laughs. “How well has that been working for us so far?”

  “Good point.”

  “Promise me?”

  “We will have a lifetime of fighting and arguing about everything.”

  “Good.”

  “Are you done?”

  She smirks. “You think I have only three demands?”

  “I think I want to kiss you, so you’d better hurry up.”

  “Four…” She takes her time, thinking really hard, while my patience for not being able to kiss my fiancée grows strong. “Four is, you have to take me down to the pool and fuck me.”

  I grab her ass and lift her up. I begin running down the stairs toward the pool. “Thank God we think so much alike.”

  “Shut up, and kiss me.”

  Her hands grab my neck as she forces my face forward to kiss her. Her tongue pushes deep inside my mouth as I push back equally with my own tongue. We are perfect equals who will challenge each other in life. I want exactly what she said she wanted.

  I try to pay attention to where I’m walking. But I can’t focus on anything but her lips, her tongue, her body. I need all of it. Fast, slow. Hard, gentle. I need her in every way possible.

  I take another step and don’t feel anything beneath my foot. I try to lean back to keep from falling, but I can’t stop us once we’ve started moving. We fall into the water, still clothed and still grasping on to each other, desperate for a kiss.

  We come up for air at the same time. I expect her to be pissed or to be full of giggles over what just happened. Instead, we continue kissing right where we left off. Deep, passionate, I will never let you go type kisses.

  I grab the hem of her dress and pull it up over her head until it is off her body.

  “Damn, you look hot,” I say, biting my lip, as I stare at her in the pool with the twinkle lights shining down on her.

  “And you look far too clothed.”

  I take my jacket off and throw it onto the side of the pool. She helps me remove my shirt, and then I push my pants and boxers off, not caring if they make their way out of the pool or not.

  “Better?” I ask.

  “Much,” she says, undoing her bra and pushing her panties off before she dives under the water.

  Damn it. I forgot how much of a good swimmer she is.

  I dive under after her, chasing her across the pool. She stays under the water when I finally catch her. She used to swim, so I’m sure she can hold her breath for hours. I can’t.

  I kiss her hard, convincing her to come up for air to get another kiss. She does. When we get to the surface, I grab her and push her against the wall of the pool, kissing her hard as my cock pulses at her entrance.

  “I want every day to be like this,” she whispers against my lips.

  My cock thrusts inside her, stretching her wide. “It will. Always.”

  I fuck her hard against the edge of the pool. And she fucks me right back. As much hate as we had toward each other, I wouldn’t change anything because it created this perfect kind of love where we are truly equals who fight for what we want in this relationship.

  “Thank God you brought extra sets of clothes,” Victoria says, naked, as she climbs out of the pool to scoop up our clothes.

  I frown. “I disagree. I think it would have been better if I hadn’t bothered with clothes. I much prefer the view when you’re naked.”

  She laughs and scoops up our wet clothes. My phone falls out of the jacket pocket and bounces on the concrete.

  “Sorry,” she says, wincing.

  I laugh. “The water probably destroyed it anyway.”

  “I’ll try to fix it,” she says, running
into the house with my clothes and phone, which I’m sure is unfixable. I stay in the pool, planning on doing a couple of laps and then going inside to try to convince Victoria to have sex in one of the rooms in the house before I take her to a late dinner.

  I do a couple of laps, loving that this could be my new life. Married to Victoria. Waking up to sex, then a couple of laps in the pool, and then off to my dream job. How could my life get any better?

  On my third lap, I feel something hard hit my head. I stop swimming and look up to see Victoria still dripping wet but with a new dress on, which is getting wetter by the second. But that isn’t what matters. I look at Victoria’s face, and I know something is wrong.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She holds out my phone.

  “I told you it wasn’t fixable.”

  She shakes her head, looking at it. “It works just fine.”

  I raise an eyebrow, not believing that the phone works.

  “Your assistant, Ruby, called.”

  “Okay,” I say, not understanding why Ruby called or why it would make Victoria upset.

  “You got me fired. All those times I thought I had done something wrong. I hadn’t gotten enough clients. I hadn’t worked hard enough. I’d worked too hard. I’d demanded too much money.”

  I shake my head. “No, let me explain.”

  “Every time I was desperate to do a job I loved to take care of my family, you took it away from me. Every. Single. Time.”

  Victoria’s face is bright red, her nostrils are flared, and she is trying to hold back the tears in her eyes.

  “Victoria, it wasn’t like that.”

  She throws her hands up. “How was it then? Tell me because I don’t understand it. Were you that threatened by me? Is that why you did it? You hated me that much? Has this all been just one big game to you? Or were you pretending to love me to gain some forgiveness?”

  The tears fall freely now, mixing with the anger steaming off her cheeks.

  “Victoria, I’m sorry. I—”

  “You’re sorry that you are actually in love with Lily and just pretending with me?”

  “No!” I swim to the edge and jump out of the pool, running toward her. “I love you, Victoria. That’s always been the truth. Lily is nothing to me.”

  “Then, what?”

  I take a deep breath. “I had to win at all costs. That was always who I was. When I heard there was a new woman in the game who was starting to beat me out for some clients, I felt threatened. I couldn’t allow you to win. So, I got you fired.”

  “But it was me! I know we used to hate each other as kids, but really? You would do this to me? To Logan?”

  I wince. “I didn’t know it was you.”

  “How could you not?”

  “I always thought of you as Tori, not Victoria. I never connected the dots until—”

  “Until I said to call me Victoria, not Tori?”

  I nod. “I was going to tell you.”

  She laughs harshly. “Sure you were.” She throws the phone at me and then begins running inside.

  “Victoria, wait! Let me explain more. I was an ass. I would do anything to win. I didn’t care about anyone. That was before I knew you and loved you. I’m sorry.”

  I chase Victoria through the house and then outside. I don’t care that I’m naked. I can’t just let her go.

  I catch up to Victoria just as she is about to climb into the limo.

  “Please, just stay. Let’s talk. Tell me how I can make this better.”

  “You can’t.”

  “I’ll do anything.”

  She shakes her head. “No, you won’t. You’re selfish and cruel and savage. You won’t do anything for me if it means having to give something up for yourself.”

  I don’t have words. I can’t come up with anything to say that will make her stay. Nothing that will make this any better. I can’t fix this. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix this from the look on Victoria’s face. So, I let her go. I watch her climb into the limo and close the door. I watch the driver drive her away while I stand in the driveway, naked.

  “You look like death,” Lily says to me when I walk into her office a week after Victoria ran out on me.

  “I’ve been sick for a week. What do you expect me to look like?”

  “Happy, cheerful, sexy, ready to work.”

  I groan. “I don’t think I can be any of those things ever again.”

  She laughs. “Oh, stop being so dramatic, Carter. You have a cold. You’ll survive.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I’ll have to have my makeup team work on you, too, to make sure you look good for our appearance tonight.”

  I wince from just thinking about it. “Lily, you know, I’ve been thinking.”

  “Shh. You’re sick,” Lily says, sitting next to me at the table, stroking my hair. “You don’t need to worry about any of the plans. Victoria got everything covered before she had to leave.”

  “What do you mean, she left? She quit?” I ask, annoyed that she isn’t even going to show up to work. I thought this was my best chance at seeing her since my best friend had decided to take sides after all—choosing Victoria’s, not mine. So, I haven’t been able to get into his apartment all week.

  “She said she had family things that she had to deal with and, unfortunately, couldn’t continue. Don’t worry; she came up with an excellent plan for going forward, and I paid her well for her idea.”

  I frown. I don’t like this at all.

  I sit up, straighter, swiping Lily’s hand off my head. “What exactly is her plan?”

  Lily grins. “I’m not going to tell you.”

  My face turns bright red. “Why not? Shouldn’t I know the plan that I’m supposed to execute with you?”

  “No, all you and Victoria did was fight. If I tell you her plan, then you will try to change it, and it’s perfect as it is.”

  I narrow my eyes as I stare into Lily’s eyes, trying to figure out what the plan is, but I see no hint in her eyes other than seeing that she is happy.

  “Don’t worry; I’ll pay you well, too,” she says, petting me again.

  I grab her wrist, needing her to stop touching me.

  She reluctantly pulls it away, getting the hint. I stand up and walk toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” Lily asks.

  “To get ready for tonight. Apparently, I’m only a hot body that needs to look good for our TV appearance tonight.”

  She smiles. “Try to sleep. It will help with the circles under your eyes.”

  I nod, giving her a fake smile before I leave.

  I don’t have a plan. Not yet, but I do know Victoria. I know that she needed this job, so she convinced Lily to pay her a large amount of money for whatever her plan was. I also know that, after I hurt her, she will retaliate. So, whatever the plan is, it isn’t going to be in my favor.

  But I also know that I still have a chance with Victoria if I can form my own plan. She thinks I’m selfish, cruel, and savage. She’s probably right. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love her and that I won’t do anything I can to keep her. She’s giving me another chance by retaliating and getting her revenge. She’s showing just how selfish, cruel, and savage she can be. I’ll let her. I deserve whatever revenge is coming my way. It will equal the score. And then maybe we can get back to the love part after we get all of our hate out.

  15

  Victoria

  I haven’t seen Carter in a week. But I’m going to tonight.

  I squeeze my hands into fists and then release them.

  I try to replay Sailor’s voice in my head. You look great. I repeat those words over and over. I look great, and tonight, I’m going to make Carter suffer.

  He’s going to hate me by the end of tonight and also want me more than he’s wanted any other woman. He’s going to feel pain when he realizes that I’m not here for him. I’m here to make him pay for all the years of pain he
has caused me.

  I walk backstage of the television show that Carter and Lily are going on. I walk right up to both of them, trying to squash any nerves about still having any feelings toward Carter. I can’t have any feelings. He hurt me; now, I’ll hurt him. That’s all we will ever be to each other.

  “Hello, Lily. Are you ready to go tonight?” I ask.

  Lily throws her arms around me. “Victoria, it’s good to see you! I wasn’t sure if you would make it.”

  I grin brightly at her. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

  “I’m very sorry to see you go. You really are the best.”

  “Thank you, but you won’t need my services anymore after tonight. Your crisis will be over, and you will be able to focus on running an effective campaign.”

  Lily smiles. “You’re right, but if I need someone to handle a crisis in the future, I’m calling you.”

  “Hopefully, you won’t need to.”

  I glance over at Carter, who is intently watching me but doesn’t say anything. I don’t say anything to him either. I just stand there, letting him wish that he had treated me like I deserved. Because I’m going to make sure he’ll miss my body.

  His eyes travel over my body, like I knew they would, soaking in his last glimpse of me. He takes in my legs, which look curvy in my dark jeans and high heels. He takes in my white spaghetti strap top, which has plenty of cleavage and shows off my arms. And then he settles on my face. My hair is curled in loose waves, and my makeup makes it look like I’m going out tonight to pick up a guy. And I might just do that. I could use a night to forget about everything.

  “You’re on in five,” one of the assistants says to the couple.

  “Good luck,” I say to Lily. Then, I give Carter one last glare before I walk over to the monitor to watch Carter’s life end.

  They are announced, and I watch them walk out, hand in hand. All smiles for each other.

  I feel the stabbing in my heart. Damn it. I’m not the one who is supposed to feel pain. He is.

  They take a seat in the chairs, and the host begins asking them easy questions at first. They both make jokes and laugh.