Numbers

by Laurann Dohner

  She climbed off his lap regretfully, stood in front of him, and then she turned around. He lifted the shirt she wore a few inches and ran his other palm along the back of her upper thigh. He surprised her when he slid off the bed to his knees and bent a little to study her closer.

  “It’s just a few spots.”

  She turned her head, watching him. He stopped stroking her skin and released the shirt. He lifted his head, holding her gaze. “Turn to me.”

  She faced him. His gaze lowered to her stomach and he sat back on his heels. He gripped his thighs with both hands. She saw his knuckles whiten as if he were squeezing his legs tightly. He cleared his throat.

  “I want to see the hair. Show me.”

  She fisted the shirt that fell to her mid thighs and slowly pulled it up. She’d stripped bare to put on his shirt so she didn’t have to do anything but bring the hem up to her lower belly. She studied his face, curious what he’d do when he saw it. It was tempting to just pull the shirt entirely off, but the sight of her breasts made him angry. That wasn’t her intention.

  927’s breathing increased as he visually inspected her. Every muscle in him seemed to tense from his face to his shoulders, and he flexed his arms as if his hold on his legs had increased. He closed his eyes.

  “You need to lower your shirt and back away from me,” he ground out.

  She released the shirt and retreated a few steps. “Why?”

  “Go into the bathroom. Give me a few minutes.”

  “No. You’re going to leave.”

  His eyes snapped open and she saw anger glistening in them. “Do it or I’ll toss you on my bed and fuck you.”

  She lowered her gaze to his lap. The outline of his cock was clear. His jeans weren’t much of a deterrent to the evidence of his state of arousal. He wanted her. He was trying to send her fleeing in fear, but it had the opposite effect. Hope surged. He wanted to mount her.

  Candi grabbed the shirt and lifted it, tearing it off and tossing it down on the carpet. “Do it.”

  His eyes widened and he snarled. His gaze locked on her naked body though.

  She took a step closer. “Take me. I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”

  Raw pain flashed in his eyes as he tore his gaze off her lower body and looked up. “I’ll hurt you.”

  She understood those snarled words. “I’d welcome it.” She took another step closer and knelt in front of him. She inched closer, putting her hands on his chest. The muscles under her palms were hard and firm. “Touch me,” she urged. “Please.”

  He trembled.

  “I want you,” she whispered. “I need you.”

  He moved fast, but she didn’t flinch when his hands suddenly gripped her waist. He jerked her up off her knees. She did gasp when he threw her onto her back on the soft mattress. She bounced once and stilled, a bit stunned. A door slammed and she pushed up to her elbow. He was gone. One sweep of her gaze revealed that he really had just left her in his bedroom.

  Tears filled her eyes a second later when another door slammed. He hadn’t just left her in his bedroom, he’d left his apartment. She turned on her side, drew her knees up and curled into a tight ball.

  Hero had forgotten about the officer who was stationed in the hallway outside his door. He stepped around the male. “I’m going for a walk.”

  He took the stairs down to the first floor and burst out the back door of the men’s dorm. He nearly collided with a female and had to twist to avoid making contact, slamming his shoulder into the wall. Kit frowned at him.

  “Where’s the emergency, Hero?”

  “There isn’t one.” He shoved away from the wall and tried to step around her.

  “Not so fast.” She gripped his arm, shoved him up against the wall and stepped into him, pinning him there.

  He scowled but didn’t shove her away. “Let go and move.”

  She eased her grip and removed her hand. “You stood me up. I was coming to find you.”

  He had forgotten he was supposed to meet her at the bar. “Something came up.”

  She growled as she gave him a once-over with her shrewd gaze. “I see your erection. Who is the female I smell on you?” She leaned in and sniffed. “Not familiar.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this. I apologize, but I need to be alone.”

  “You asked me to have dinner with you. I expected we would share sex after we danced. I’m owed an explanation.”

  “I’m not your mate.”

  She jerked back a good foot. “You’re in a mean mood.”

  He regretted his harsh words. “I’m not having a good day.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t want to talk.”

  “Do you wish to fight?” She cocked her head. “Tell me what is wrong or we will. You look angry. I know I am. I’d like to punch you in the face for making me sit at a table waiting for you when you never showed up. Now I smell some unknown female all over you, and you’re as hard as a brick. I thought we were going to try to date like humans do and not share sex with others.” She grabbed his chest and shoved him against the wall again, his shirt ripping a little in her hands. “I agreed to that because the sex between us is good, and you aren’t one to demand too much of my time. We both enjoy our space.”

  He gently pushed her off. “Stop touching me. I need space now. Share sex with whomever you wish. I can’t attempt dating anymore.”

  She leaned in, sniffing at him. “Who is she?”

  He hated seeing the anger in Kit’s eyes. She’d been a good friend to him. They’d even become more recently, sharing sex twice. He hadn’t minded that she didn’t want a male to spend time with her afterward. He didn’t want to stay. He’d only held two females in his arms while sleeping. One had been Candi and the other had been his friend Tammy. She’d had a mate and he’d held her to keep her safe from their captors.

  He had the urge to call Tammy, but he’d left his cell phone on his nightstand. She had remained his friend and he might be able to talk to her about what was going on. They’d shared a harsh ordeal together.

  “I mean it.” Kit drew him from his thoughts. “I will punch you if you don’t explain why you stood me up and who you’ve been with.”

  “Go ahead.” He leaned his head against the wall.

  “Stubborn male,” Kit hissed. She flashed fangs. “I should bite you.”

  “Do it if it makes you feel less angry. I am sorry.”

  Her expression softened. “Talk to me. What is going on? You look bad and you are almost begging me to hurt you.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’re being self-destructive. I know this state of being well.”

  “You have no idea what I am.”

  “I know you accepted the name Species call you out of some sense of self-inflicted punishment.”

  He regretted telling her that.

  “You’re not a bad male, Hero. We all know why you killed those humans when you were in captivity. It doesn’t put me off the way it does some of our females. Most of our kind have killed humans, and it wasn’t out of a sense of giving them mercy. It was to inflict suffering and gain revenge. Is this your way of making certain I don’t get attached to you by standing me up and having another’s scent all over you? I’m not looking for a mate. I just wanted to share sex with only one male for a while. I chose you because you’re not clingy and you have pain in your heart. We’re the same that way.”

  “This has nothing to do with you,” he answered honestly. “Or us.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “Do you know why I chose my name?”

  “No.”

  “One of the head shrinks likes to build small toy model cars. He said they are called kits. There’s a picture of what it is supposed to look like after all the parts are put together, but inside the box, when it’s first opened, it’s a jumble of confusing little pieces.” She hesitated. “That’s how I felt. I was a bunch of jumbled pieces contained inside this body. I look whole, but inside
I’m not.”

  He reached up to take her shoulder in a gesture of comfort.

  She flinched away. “Don’t pity me. I don’t want it.”

  He let his hand drop away. “I don’t. You’re one of the strongest females I know, Kit.”

  “It’s a picture I show on the outside. Inside I’m a mess.” She held his gaze. “I just told you something I’ve never shared with another. We both suffer deep pain from our past. You can hurt me now if you wish to tell others what I said. I don’t want them to see me as weak. Bare yourself to me. I wouldn’t betray your trust. Tell me why you let them call you Hero, and why it hurts you.”

  He felt compelled to answer. “The one person I wished to be a hero to and save was a female I believed I killed. I was enraged at the time and in such deep pain that I wanted to hurt her. I did.” He held her gaze, not looking away. “Today she walked into Homeland. It’s her scent you smell. Mercile lied to me. She survived and just escaped from where they’d kept her locked up.” Pain wrenched through his chest. “I even failed her that way. I’ve been free for a while but she was still in captivity. I wasn’t even searching for her.”

  Kit sighed. “You have feelings for her. Did she work for Mercile? I won’t judge.”

  “She’s human, but was brought there as a child by her father. He murdered her mother and she witnessed it. He wanted to make certain she couldn’t tell on him to other humans. He knew Mercile wouldn’t punish him for what he’d done. She was raised with me inside our cell as if she were one of us. I regarded her as my mate but her father took her away from me and only allowed us to spend monitored time together when we reached the age when our sexual attraction began.” It hurt him to say the words, but he did. “She allowed another male to mount her before I was able to claim her as mine. That’s why I attacked her.”

  “Why would she do that? Did she not want you for a mate?”

  “I thought so. That’s why I lost my mind. I found out today that they made her accept a feline or her father would have killed me if I’d claimed her first. She did it to save me.”

  “Why are you out here and not with her?”

  “I hated her for accepting that male. I’ve hated myself for thinking I killed her. I died inside that day. Now I find out she survived, why it happened, and I don’t know what to do. I just feel rage at everything. All of it has made me who I am, and I finally had some peace. It’s gone now. I want the numbness to return.”

  “I understand. Things have changed though.” She cocked her head. “There’s no place you can run from this. There’s no hiding from the things you must feel.”

  His body grew rigid, but Kit seemed to ignore his reaction or take it as a warning.

  “This female mattered to you and still does, or it wouldn’t tear you up this much. You’re broken, Hero. She might be able to fit the pieces together to make you whole.” She stepped closer to the back door. “The male I loved is dead. There is no hope of him walking into Homeland to seek me out. I watched it happen and saw his broken body. Go to her, Hero. Where is she?”

  “Inside my home. I left her on my bed.”

  Kit reached down, withdrew her key card from her pocket and swiped it. She punched in the code and yanked open the door. “Go to her, Hero. Make your name count for what it should mean instead of a way to torture yourself with the irony of it.”

  “Why are you saying this?”

  Her features softened. “I want you to be happy. It will give me hope that one day I won’t remain this way. We’re a lot alike. Get your male ass inside the dorm and return to your apartment. Face this female and the past. Try to make a future. You said she’s human. She could leave Homeland to live in the outside world, but we both know she won’t be safe out there. They are crazy and some would target her for her association with us. Save her now.”

  He still hesitated. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt her. I am a mess.”

  “She’s a mess too if she was raised at Mercile.” Her tone deepened. “You’re a canine, not a pussy. Go male up. I think that’s the term. You’re no coward. You’re a survivor. So is she. You belong together. Go.”

  He shoved off from the wall and stepped closer to Kit. “I just want to run.”

  “I’ve been to your home. It’s three flights up. Use the stairs. That should help alleviate that urge. Don’t make me drag your ass up there. I haven’t had dinner, and I missed lunch. You’re a big male, and outweigh me. It would irritate me to use that much energy to get you up those flights of stairs.”

  He stepped inside and turned. “I—”

  “You’re welcome. I know you don’t feel thankful right now, but you can mean it later.” She grinned. “Stop stalling. Females hate to be kept waiting.” She shut the door in his face.

  He turned, staring down the corridor that led to the back stairs. “Fuck.”

  Chapter Six

  Candi washed her face in 927’s bathroom sink and put on the tank top that she’d tossed on the floor after she’d attempted to seduce him into mounting her. She left the bedroom and stared at the door to the hallway. It was tempting to go out and search for him but he wouldn’t want to be found. He’d proven that already.

  She moved around the living space, touching his things. He didn’t have many personal items, but there was a photo of him with a couple on a shelf. The male was a big feline with harsh features who held a human female close to his body in a possessive way. 927 stood a few feet away from them and they all were smiling. There were a lot of trees surrounding them.

  The door at her back opened and she turned, expecting Breeze or one of the males who’d escorted her to 927’s apartment. She was stunned when 927 stepped in and closed it, sealing himself inside with her. He leaned against the wood, staring at her with a grim expression. She glanced down his body, seeing a few tears in his shirt. It was possible he’d gotten into a fight, but he looked fine, just angry.

  “That’s Tammy and Valiant,” he murmured. “They are mated.”

  She realized she still held the framed picture in her hands and glanced down before returning it to the shelf. “I guessed she was his.”

  “I’d just been freed when that photo was snapped. They insisted on taking one with me since I’d saved her life. They gave me a copy.”

  “She’s the one you mentioned? The one you didn’t kill?”

  “Yes.”

  She wanted to get closer to him but held still in case he decided to leave again. “Thank you for coming back.”

  “It’s my home.”

  She glanced at his shirt. “What happened?”

  He looked down, touching one of the holes. He sighed and lifted his chin, meeting her gaze. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me. Did Breeze make you come back?”

  “It wasn’t Breeze. I’d have more damage to my clothes if someone had tried to force me to return when I wasn’t willing to. I’d have fought. This was just to hold me still so I could hear her words.”

  “Her?”

  “A friend.”

  “Have you shared sex with her?”

  He pushed away from the door and strode into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

  She flinched and pain jabbed at her. He hadn’t denied it. He’d changed the subject. He must have a reason. “No.”

  “You should try to eat.” He opened the fridge, peering inside it. “I could fix you a sandwich.”

  “Is she important to you? Do you feel a bond with her?”

  He slammed the fridge and glared at her. “Don’t ask. You don’t want to know.”

  “I do.”

  “Fine. Yes, Kit and I have shared sex. I’ve been to her home a few times. I was with a few females while still at Mercile. They used me in breeding experiments after I was told I killed you. Christopher nearly beat me to death as punishment and I became one of Evelyn’s. She brought me a few Species females and I mounted them. I refused to watch someone else die until they moved me and brought in those humans they captured. I kille
d them, as I said. Then Tammy was brought to my cage and her mate tracked her there. I was freed in the process. There have been others at Homeland and Reservation after I was freed.”

  Candi needed to sit. She retreated to a chair and collapsed into it. Jealousy and pain struck her at knowing so many females had touched him, but she also had heard everything he’d said. He hadn’t wanted to watch anyone die. She would never forget the feline male and the beating he’d taken before she’d agreed to let him mount her. He had refused to take her by force. She understood.

  “Is that the answer you wanted?” 927 snarled. “I won’t lie.”

  She saw rage in his eyes as she stared into them from across the room. “I don’t want you to.”

  “No. You wish me to watch you suffer. I see your pain.” He fisted his hands at his sides, advanced a few steps, and then stopped. His nostrils flared. “I can smell it.”

  “I don’t want you to suffer. Why would you think that?”

  He spun away, pacing the small confines of the kitchen space. He finally punched a cabinet, the wood splitting from the force of it. Part of it broke off and hit the counter, and then the floor. He snarled.

  Candi rose and rushed forward. His hand bled. “You’re hurt.”

  He turned his head, growling. “Get back.”

  She froze.

  He turned on the faucet and shoved his torn skin under the running water. She backed up a little but then stepped sideways, putting her body between him and the front door in case he tried to leave again. She wasn’t above throwing herself in front of him to keep him there. It was obvious he didn’t want her to touch him so she doubted he’d be willing to put his hands on her to get her out of his way.

  He turned off the water and used a dishtowel to wrap his hand. “I don’t plan on storming out. You don’t have to stand there.”

  She didn’t deny that’s exactly why she’d chosen that spot. “Breeze said there should be a medical kit in your bathroom. Do you want me to get it?”

  He shook his head. “Why would she tell you that?”

  “She saw my feet.”

  He frowned and stared at her feet. “What?”