SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  At that last thought, my dick goes stiff. I can still smell her and taste her. Her innocence is delicate and sweet on my tongue. A part of me wants to devour it, but another part of me wants to savor it. No matter what, though, I have to go slow with her. I can’t let her feel that discomfort she obviously feels around Max. It would break our spell and ruin all these months of planning. As much as I would love to sink my cock into her, I have to remain calm and detached. I can’t let myself be influenced by the way she makes me feel when I caress her soft skin or the way her soft moans sound like the sweetest melody to my ears. She was meant for one purpose and one purpose only.

  Revenge.

  As I watch them pile into their cars, I start my own and click the button to call Jace. As usual, he answers after one ring. “Jace, I know what to do and when to do it. I’ll be there to speak with you in ten.”

  “Whatever it is, man, I’m here for you.”

  “Thanks,” I reply before hanging up.

  Let the real games begin.

  “Did you have a good time?” My head snaps to my mom and I smile. She looks radiant today.

  “I did, thanks. Max’s brother has a pretty nice boat. Dad really must have helped him out. How was your weekend?”

  She sits down at the breakfast island and watches me eating her special carrot soup. Everything she makes is special to me. “It was good. Your dad and I went to a charity auction on Saturday. Over a million dollars were raised for the children’s charity.”

  “That’s great!” I smile. “That must have been really rewarding.” My mom and dad are always going to functions and helping to raise money for charities. They’re both very proactive like that.

  “It always is, and when I see the use they have for the money, it makes my heart swell. I live for helping others. I know that sounds a little ironic considering my line of work.”

  I frown. “In what way?”

  “In the way that I help people look prettier and younger. My job is a little shallow and narcissistic.”

  I pause with the spoon hovering at my mouth as I think how wrong she really is. “I wouldn’t say that. Yes, you do help people in that respect, but look at that case of William Pink. You were a part of reconstructing his face after that horrible house fire a couple of years back. He and his parents had nothing but praise for you after what you did. His parents even said that you helped take years off of therapy by helping them get their little boy back. That has to count for something.”

  She smiles softly at me. “You’re right, of course. I just wonder sometimes if I’m in the right line of work.”

  “Has someone questioned your path in life?”

  She shakes her head. “No, but I wonder if people think I’m a hypocrite.”

  I gasp. “No way. No one could ever call you that. You’re the kindest, most gentle person I know. Plus, you’re a great mom. I’m lucky to have you.”

  She touches my arm. “It is I who am lucky to have you and Elle. I raised you both well. I’m so proud of you.” I see the hint of tears in her eyes, so I drop my spoon and get up to give her a hug.

  “You and Dad never have to question your abilities as parents—or as anything else. I really mean that. Never doubt yourself.”

  She pulls away and gives me a soft smile. “Thank you.” I nod my head and sit back down. My mother then clears her throat. “So, tell me all about your birthday.”

  I tell her about everything apart from my nocturnal visitor obviously. I still question myself on some level as to whether or not that was a dream. I haven’t heard from him since, and in a way, I am disappointed. He gave me this spellbinding orgasm and then up and left without a word. Was that the end of it? I didn’t want it to be. I feel like we’ve only just begun.

  “Have you done your speech yet?” Mom asks, placing plates in the dishwasher.

  I groan. Graduation is in a couple of weeks, and I’ve somehow ended up being at the top of my class. As such, the responsibility for giving the commencement speech falls on me. I still can’t believe I’m the class valedictorian! I’ve been stressing over my SAT’s so much I didn’t realize just how well I was actually doing. I’ve always gotten good grades, but this was a real surprise. It’s definitely something I can put down on my résumé. “I haven’t even started it yet. I was going to get to it after lunch.” I have another spoonful of soup, and then I suddenly wonder about Dad. “When’s Dad coming back?”

  “I don’t think it’s going to be until later tonight. He said something about a meeting at work and having to woo some new investors.” She turns around briefly and smiles at me, but I swear I can see a hint of sadness there. I briefly wonder what could be causing it, but quickly brush it off as paranoia.

  “Okay,” I answer, finishing the last spoonful and getting up.

  “Here,” Mom says, reaching her hand out for my bowl. “You go up and get that speech done. I’ll deal with this.”

  “Thanks.” I turn on my heels and walk towards the stairs. I don’t know why, but I have this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. What it is I have no idea, but the more I try to push it away, the more it crawls up my spine and wedges itself deep inside of me. Maybe it’s just teenage hormones. I read somewhere that it can wreak havoc with moods for people my age. Maybe it’s normal to feel this way. Whatever it is, I continue to brush it aside and instead just get out my notepad and pencil. I lie on my front for a while with my legs in the air and the pencil resting between my lips as I think about what to say. My mind is blank.

  Without a thought, I grab my phone and light up the screen. Again, I’m disappointed that he hasn’t texted me. A part of me wants to text him first, but another part of me feels like it looks a little too desperate. He is, after all, chasing after me. Maybe I should continue with that trend. I debate this for a while and decide in the end to place my phone down. I can’t concentrate on the speech if my mind is elsewhere.

  But, as I place the phone down, it suddenly pings. With my heart racing, I get up from the bed and light up the screen again. His name flashes making me smile.

  J: Are you thinking about me?

  I bite my lip, trying to suppress the silly grin on my face. It’s no use, though. I’m just so damned happy he’s messaged me.

  Me: Wouldn’t you like to know?

  J: It is why I’m asking. Are you still wet?

  An involuntary shudder reverberates throughout my entire body. Last night wasn’t just a dream. It was real … and I wanted so much more.

  Me: Despite being at sea, I actually remained pretty dry.

  J: That’s not what I mean and you know it. You really are being coy with me, young lady.

  I chuckle at his choice of words, but can’t help the pull I feel for him. I text back.

  Me: I want more.

  I wrote and sent that text message without thinking. My fingers seemed to act on autopilot. Whether I will one day regret sending those words remains to be seen, but right now, I just want to live in the moment. I want every experience he has to offer.

  J: Then I will give it.

  Me: When?

  J: So impatient, my Beautiful Lily. May 20th.

  I stare blankly at the screen for a while. May 20th is our masquerade ball. He’s planning on giving me what I desire then? In one respect, I’m frightened, but in another, that date feels too far off. It’s less than two weeks away, but I still can’t help wanting it right now.

  Me: Okay. I will be waiting.

  J: Good. I will be the one wearing a mask.

  I smile at that. Everyone will be wearing a mask that night.

  Me: Everyone will have a mask on then. How will I know it’s you?

  J: You will know.

  Oh, I think I definitely will at that.

  This is the day. I can’t believe it. I’m finally graduating and becoming a real adult. When I turned eighteen, I did feel like things were going by fast, but now that I’m here, gown on, accepting my diploma from Mrs. Wisener, I can’t help thinking t
hat things are going by too quickly. I have been ready, waiting for years for this exact moment. Every teenager prepares for this day, and I’m no different. But, standing here now, I feel anything but prepared.

  As I take the diploma from her with one hand and shake her hand with the other, I turn and smile to get my picture taken as I briefly look towards my parents and sister. They’re sitting next to each other holding hands, looking just like the proud family they should. I can’t help but feel how lucky I am in this moment. I’m scared shitless, but lucky.

  “You will be sorely missed, Lily. We were honored to have you as a student. I wish you all the success in the world.”

  I smile back at Mrs. Wisener. “Thank you. It’s definitely been an experience.” She nods her head with a smile, and I take that as my cue to move on. I diligently move away as everyone claps their hands and take my seat at the front of the aisle next to Christine. She’s practically squealing with excitement.

  “Are you ready to do your speech?” I shake my head as my hands start to clam up. I don’t normally get stage fright, but for some reason, the importance of this day has me in knots. “You’ll be fine,” Christine says smoothly as she squeezes my hand.

  “Thank you.” I squeeze her hand back and turn my attention to watching the rest of the students picking up their diplomas. One by one, they go up and shake Mrs. Wisener’s hand and have their picture taken, and with each one, my hands get more and more clammy. As the last student accepts her diploma, Mrs. Wisener walks towards the microphone and smiles.

  “With every year that goes by, I always think it will get easier to say goodbye. It doesn’t, and this will be my twentieth graduation—” Everyone claps, interrupting her for a few seconds. She smiles. “Thank you.” She clears her throat. “With each passing year, it actually gets harder and harder. I have grown very fond of a great many students in this school, and it is hard to let them go.” She smiles and gives a little sigh. “But, life goes on. Students still come and go, and I take great pride and joy in watching them flourish in the big world outside. Some are lawyers and some are busy waitressing, but no matter what, each and every one of them leaves behind a legacy. I wish every one of you success in all of your endeavors. All I ask is that you don’t forget about me.” Everyone chuckles as she smiles. “I’m sure a lot of you can’t wait to get away and celebrate your graduation and newfound freedom to leave this school, so I won’t keep you any longer. As you know, it is both the privilege and duty of each class’s valedictorian to say a few words.” She looks towards me, and my heart starts pounding. “Lily Campbell, please make your way to the stage to present the Class of 2016’s commencement speech.”

  Everyone claps and cheers, but all I can hear is my heart pounding. I rise up from my chair and Christine stops me. “Knock ‘em dead, Lily.” She winks at me, and I calm a little. Thank heavens for best friends!

  “Thanks,” I say as I clutch my speech and walk up towards the microphone. I say my thanks to Mrs. Wisener and turn my attention toward the waiting crowd.

  “When I was a little girl, I used to look out the window and stare at the mountain top. I remember thinking how big it was, and sometimes, even how frightening it looked. But, it was there, and it had been long before I ever arrived in this world… Long before any of us in this room.” I smile as I think about my childhood memories. “If I stared long enough, though, I would start to picture what it would be like to live on top of that mountain. I hoped that—one day—I would own a castle up there and be able to look down instead of up. That thought always made my fear of how big that mountain was fade away. I was enchanted by the idea of someday seeing how small everything below me was instead of only ever seeing the great, imposing rock that I saw before me as a child. It’s still there, by the way.” I smile again as chuckles are heard throughout the room.

  “I used to tell my dad that I dreamed of one day living up there, so I could be big… I suppose little girls really do have active imaginations.” More laughter is heard, so I wait a little until everyone grows quiet. “My dad would always reply with the same thing. He would say, ‘Lily, a dream will always remain a dream unless you push it towards a reality.’” I look towards my dad, and he is smiling proudly at me. I smile back, but look away before my eyes start to water.

  “All those years ago, I never put much thought into those words. I guess no little girl or boy would. It was only as I became older that I started to appreciate how much those words really meant. We all have dreams. We all have goals in life. It’s just up to us to realize those dreams and goals. My father was always pushing me and my sister to believe we could aim high. He would tell us: ‘If ever in life you want something done, there’s only one person who can do it for you.’ It was that philosophy which helped me to become the woman I am today. I still dream, and I still look out of that window and stare at the mountain top. Today, however, I don’t have the same thoughts I used to as a little girl. Now, when I look up at that mountain top, I don’t just hope or dream anymore. I believe that one day I can live up there and stare down instead of up. We can all ascend to the tops of each of our individual mountains and reach our goals. All it takes is hard work and the faith in ourselves that we can do it.” I look around at all the students in the room and smile.

  “We all entered this school as children, holding books in our hands and dreams in our hearts. We are no longer children. Now, we are leaving behind those books which have helped us to be where we are today… Together, with our dreams, we can push towards any reality we wish. We will leave here today, and we will take with us memories that will last a lifetime and friends who we will always hold dear to our hearts… Thank you, Class of 2016. We did it!”

  Hats go flying, and the crowd cheers as Mrs. Wisener pulls me in for a hug. She has tears in her eyes, so I know I’ve done a good job. “Beautiful. Simply beautiful, Lily.”

  I beam back at her. “Thank you, Mrs. Wisener.” I know I was a little apprehensive, but all that has faded now, and I’m so proud I did this.

  I rush off stage, and Christine, Max, and the others are waiting for me. “That was fucking awesome!” Christine shouts. “You killed it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Yeah, that wasn’t too bad, toad-licker.”

  I frown at Jerry. “You seriously couldn’t do any better than that?”

  He shrugs. “It’s graduation. I’m going easy on you.”

  “Um, thanks … I think.”

  “I can’t believe the dance is tonight. Finally, it’s here!” Christine really is super excited about this. In fact, it’s rather infectious.

  Butterflies start to mingle in my stomach, and I’m not sure if it’s that thought or the thought that my stalker will be coming. I haven’t seen him since my birthday, and I’ve missed him. We exchanged text messages here and there, but it wasn’t enough to quench my thirst. He knows I want more, so I think he’s deliberately staying away to prolong the agony. I have no doubt he likes to play games with my head, and he does it so perfectly well. It makes me wonder if he’s had some sort of training in fucking with people’s minds. Whatever he’s doing, it’s working, and I know that by the end of tonight, I will ask him to be my first. For some reason, he is the only one I trust to take it.

  “Lily, my precious girl, come here.” My mom has her arms out for me. She’s crying. I hate seeing her cry—no matter the circumstances.

  I go into her arms and feel another hand on my shoulder. I look up at Dad’s smiling face. “I never knew I had a daughter who could write speeches.”

  My mom pulls away, playfully slapping him. “Oh, Jack, stop teasing. It was beautiful.”

  My dad smiles at me. “It certainly was. I’m proud of you, pumpkin.” He pulls me into his arms, and I almost falter. I can feel the tears brimming. “I can’t believe you remembered that saying.”

  I pull back and beam at him. “It kind of stuck with me, Dad.”

  He gently tugs my shoulder. “So I see.”

 
“So, are we going to head for Guy’s? We have reservations for one, and it’s almost that now.”

  I turn to my mother and nod my head. “Just let me say goodbye to my friends first.”

  She pats my shoulder. “Of course.”

  I say goodbye to everyone and tell them that I will meet them all later for the dance. Christine practically skips away with Max and the others. She acts like a little kid at times, but it always makes me smile.

  We get to Guy’s just after one, but luckily they have held our table. It’s packed, and it’s partly because of graduation, but partly because this restaurant makes the best grilled steaks in the whole of the U.S. My mouth is practically watering by the time we sit down to order.

  As we’re waiting for our steaks, my phone pings, and I scramble to get it out of my bag. It’s from J.

  J: Congratulations, Lily. I’m looking forward to tonight.

  I smile and almost put my phone away when sound alerts me to another message.

  J: Great speech, by the way.

  My heart speeds up, but I really shouldn’t be surprised where he is concerned anymore. He’s been watching me for months, so why not today as well? I just wish I knew where he is when he’s doing it.

  “Who’s that from?” Elle asks, popping a piece of bread in her mouth.

  I jump, without meaning to, and it earns me a raised eyebrow from Elle. “Oh, it’s just Christine bugging me about tonight.” I laugh nervously because I know I’m lying. I think Elle knows I am, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just stares at me for a moment.

  “Okay, whatever you say.” She turns her attention back to something Dad has said, and I wonder whether I should reply right away. If I do, it might earn me more questions which I’m not prepared to answer.

  Reluctantly, I put my phone away and join in the conversation. No matter what, I will be seeing him tonight, so answering his text can wait for now.

  The thought brings more butterflies to my stomach as I sip on my diet coke. A part of me is excited, but another part of me is nervous. I know what I want, and there’s no putting it off anymore. Still, it doesn’t stop the anxiety of not knowing what to expect to surface. Will it hurt? I’ve been told that it does the first time, but I know one day I will just have to grin and bear it. All girls have gone through the same experience, so why should I be any different? Sometimes, my nerves have led me to question whether I want this or not, but I know deep down that I do. For some reason, I’ve wanted it ever since the day he first touched me. The answer to that question will always remain the same for me.