Silent in Finisterre

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by Jane Griffiths


  what the poet is trying to say is the progress

  through the wood of the word, blindly

  inching out its roots and branches. Is

  what it is to be in the thick of the self’s

  slow-leaved metamorphosis, its bifurcations,

  the heart’s expanding and contracting rings.

  To paraphrase, what the poet is trying to say

  is just the material we have to work with.

  In the thick of the world between the wood

  and the word, what the poet is trying to say is.

  Lifelines

  Some say, around the headland’s the point

  you’ll want to stop and look back the way

  you came, see those cormorant-shouldered

  rocks that mark the cove you started from

  with eyes the summer visitors bring to seals:

  bifocal, and endlessly willing to believe.

  That, they say, is the point, though others swear

  the days just come and go and any fishbone

  or bladderwrack they wash up is nothing but

  pieces of string too short to save. One minute

  a pigeon’s self-importantly fluffed among

  gulls in the harbour, the next it’s gone again.

  Myself, I couldn’t tell from one wing-beat

  to the next how I got here, only how flight

  repeats, though I understand the small stone

  towns I pass are settlements, and sometimes

  in the folds of coastline my shadow smokes

  like goose or angel a house shows white as

  the fly-leaf of a book I found once, secondhand,

  whose inscription was in writing I used to know

  so well I could trace the flow of it, its characters

  in the making: the enclosed spaces at their centres

  integral as skeleton to fish or fish to bird’s eye

  in the current towing the sea’s quick hieroglyphs.

  Five-finger Exercise

  Like the wind that hymns the fence’s two barbed wires,

  the tide that flexes the intervals between its high

  point and its low,

  the tall striped lighthouse that calls time, time, time,

  the painter has his idiom:

  his telegraph poles, rooflines and long arm of horizon,

  his small-leaved evergreens, chimney pots and tides

  that come and go.

  Startling, a rook blacks out the lighthouse and two dormers:

  he’ll get that down tomorrow

  like the unlikeness between the wires and their singing,

  the chimneys with and without smoke, the lives of things

  and the forms of them

  which he’ll repeat as the tree in the foreground

  keeps growing out of itself,

  as beyond the blot of the rook the lighthouse signals on.

  Still Here

  (after Naomi Frears)

  The way your films show it, simply

  to exist isn’t simple, but a form of sight

  reading, reading across, reading in –

  difficult as watching two distinct

  scenes at once: here a parasol neatly

  triangulates itself, there a landscape

  runs blindly past the emergency exit.

  And was that lightning? Twice?

  It wasn’t the same.

  Outside in January

  a frame of railings holds the tide – once,

  again; inside, the film of water’s still

  July in its intricacies, its dark and light.

  And between’s the business of Saturday:

  skateboarding, shopping, promenading

  people with three hands full and dogs

  whistling along to Newlyn –

  cut here

  or there

  it all adds up to something

  like balance, equivalence, taking in

  what’s there to be seen. This porch light

  in a storm, its shaky arrhythmia.

  That stone stretch of house shot low,

  sideways on, with cars passing, passing

  like clock – no, like metronome against

  the small human movement of the lens

  and this pond dark under its open-palmed

  statue and raft of leaves mirroring that other

  half-remembered pond dark under moss

  and rhododendron at the top of the garden

  and so unutterably still the child, disquieted,

  turns back to the house and doesn’t mention it.

  When we say stories are worth telling,

  don’t we mean the interstices?

  In St Just

  this morning, in fog, the world was down

  to incidentals: brake light, bush, black dog

  somewhere between discovery and erasure –

  or erasure and discovery, different again –

  as when two people leave the gallery, walking

  slowly along the uncut exposure of the bay,

  and one claims ‘I want to write about silence’,

  and we remember this, among other things –

  like fog on a roll, a film’s white noise

  before the pictures come in or words

  reprise how it was in the beginning –

  and like a sheet of paper before a mark is made

  it is – and isn’t – wholly what she meant to say.

  The Pond

  Undivined, a double cube of water.

  A surface of solid peridots lying

  out of mind in the shrubbery for years.

  A thought, pre-verbal. Or, adjectival:

  sinister, umbrageous, amphibian.

  The pool, the missing substantive.

  Memory, like earth, encapsulating

  something other than itself.

  That long-haired, long-legged child tumbling

  unlooked-for down the hill and calling from far

  outside earshot how we’d never believe –

  The gravel sparking from her feet.

  At the height of the garden, the mass of it.

  The rhododendrons hushed and lustrous.

  The convex steps down. Concrete.

  What we didn’t know we had always known.

  The fluted artifice of its edges, its urns.

  Treehouse

  New Year’s Eve, we walk the path along

  the edge of things, feet at burial height,

  eyes level with the rimed grasses.

  Puddles are long knives, mirror shards,

  each berry bezelled in a crown of thorns,

  and the church is down on its haunches.

  Behind, our years of pausing at this turn,

  the way the sea’s a known quantity

  that pulls its weight out of mind.

  But today, differently, a treehouse –

  or its makings: a rig of planks and batten

  for lintel. A space outlined in air –

  or platform to sit and look down on the ground

  we look up from, imagining the view:

  the fine-toothed frost-bitten fields climbing

  to the treeline where rooks cluster in

  off-beat musical notation. Beyond them,

  the sea, still out of sight. Here, at the tree’s

  foot, black-booted, we provide the human

  scale: typecast figures small, convenient,

  and fictional. We were never there.

  The treehouse, though, is real. Its apertures,

  its well-defined void and surprisingly solid floor.

  Sneyd Park Sketchbook

  If the place I write from is real, then I must be allegorical.

  W.S. GRAHAM

  I Self-Portrait with River

  Suppose you lived here, what language would you choose

  for the broad brush of river, the towpath and silver-

  skinned estuary? For the small foreign mountains,<
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  the silk skein of river, copper-beech-coloured beach,

  or the grey-green floodplain and neat brick houses?

  Pigeons tumble to the window. Cows graze on the knoll.

  In the mirror’s Australia ebb and flow reverse:

  flow and ebb again. Even the sky is tidal.

  The port holds the river on the tip of its tongue.

  Suppose you lived here, how would you name

  the shipyards, the cars on the motorway, the wind

  spooled through the wind-farm? In view of the river’s

  double-tongued tongue-twist, how would you explain

  the scales tipping between is and said-so or the balance

  of life your reflection gives you for your own?

  II Self-Portrait with Cows and Mirror

  All this went unnoticed for centuries:

  the river’s casual tiding to and fro,

  the sea’s fingerhold, the naive cows

  grazing this or that side of the knoll

  the river’s ups and downs

  the river making its bed

  the cows au naturel in beige and brown

  when someone built a house for the view

  and between its glazing bars the self-

  divided cows walked in twos and threes

  and the sun set through the beeches

  where the river lay low, the river

  flooded like silver nitrate

  preparing the ground for later when

  someone sold the plot for estate,

  fly-over and rugby pitch, for wind

  turbines keeping time and time again,

  though the fog still obliterates the river

  the river rises through the fog

  the periodic cows come and go

  and in the turret of the sub-divided

  house a tri-partite mirror shows

  how the middle ground recedes, the cows

  quite naturally multiply and the Avon

  doubles up on itself, running its course

  so long, so long between Severn and Severn,

  between the sky and its ink-dark carbon,

  here you couldn’t only once think of home.

  III Self-Portrait as Lady of Shalott

  She knows the edges are important.

  There’s no picture without a frame.

  The river’s movement is vertical (in or out).

  The wind lifts the skylight again and again.

  Off beyond the headland a single turbine

  ticks over and over, marking time.

  Off beyond the headland, the Severn,

  Cardiff. Her flat is in suspension

  between bridge and bridge – that is,

  between the sea, the river and its clearly

  transparent name. The waves are backing

  and re-backing, the wind is spooled

  and stored, like twine. On the towpath

  a small figure in red shoulders its whole

  belonging as it makes for the coast

  that’s the vanishing point between sea and sky.

  Or so she says, reading between the lines.

  IV Self-Portrait from Memory

  It’s hard to say what this is, exactly.

  Suppose a woman receding. The habitual arc of the street.

  Suppose you have seen this before. Suppose a woman reading.

  In Sneyd Park, a carved bird balanced on a painted cage.

  In Stockbridge, a white bird. A collaged page.

  Through the bars, the sky’s tissue torn by beech trees.

  Through the bird, the sea. Listen, the leaves are turning.

  Listen, this is the truth of the matter: at least six things

  at a time. The other sound you’re hearing’s that small

  grey cat, slipper on the stairs at the back of the mind.

  V Self-Portrait from Life

  Behind the poem, the poem.

  The mind, cat-like, nosing the gap between the words

  and the thing it speaks of.

  Behind the life, the life.

  The cat (smoky, mackerel-backed) off about its business,

  as beyond the Severn, Wales,

  as between here and there the sea

  there’s no getting across, though swifts through the glass

  come close to reflecting on it: migrant, tined

  tails facing both ways, and audibly comparing notes.

  The word is, things might have been different –

  as at dusk, when all the riding lights of Newport

  come out, behind the world’s a world

  where rivers run uphill and that moonshine crescent

  in the Avon’s a boat homing on the wind

  which, in other words, I’ve whistled up for you.

  An Unwritten Novel

  There would be children, three of them.

  Long-grassed gardens spilling to the river.

  A piano playing the next door down but one.

  There would be children, three of them –

  Orfee, Ichys, Perdita, or Ellie, James, and John –

  their voices in the orchard crying Styx for Avon

  while urban foxes make recycling their own.

  The parents are distracted. They take a lodger

  whose window, nights, lights up like a quotation.

  The woman opposite keeps a ledger of every

  time the children call her witch for neighbour,

  and how Montpelier, nights, is walking streets

  of shadows. She knows the man who left so late

  was not the lodger, how the child that’s missing

  came from south of the river, where windows,

  nights, frame lives like eye-rhymes for our own.

  They say that nothing we’ve begun is irreversible.

  There’d be children, two of them, and a woman

  writing how the lost child’s hand lay in mine

  lightly as a bird and with a bird’s fine bones.

  And distantly, across the water, that piano tune.

  Still Life

  Artless on the table, three narcissi.

  The gap between one petal

  and the next, unfurling.

  Light’s lip on the rim of a jug.

  The time it took to get there.

  The time it took to lay it on.

  The weight of what’s brought to bear.

  No sun.

  Behind the glass, a sudden

  movement of doves passing.

  Doves?

  Their breasts salmon, their fanned

  tails copper verdigris.

  The canvas, as before.

  Snapshot of a Marriage

  Returning late, he sees her silhouetted

  in the landing window, an awkward

  pietà with duvet that fills the frame.

  By day she knows the measure of the boards

  she treads; by night she dreams new storeys,

  stairs that rise to meet her.

  At his fold-out desk he draws the house

  turreted. She can see herself in it, knows

  he’d lift her across the threshold

  if she’d only trust as a sleepwalker does

  the candle she cups blindly, caught

  light-fingered in its living flame.

  Instead of a Mirror

  It was never a good mirror, if a good mirror

  gives a good likeness: in its green shade faces

  came and went hazily as if underwater, rippling

  through a corner of sky, a branch and jackdaw.

  It was never a good mirror, but for twenty years

  or more it held and even when last night its several

  stone weight came down in darkness with just a trail

  of gold and plastered horsehair, a quarter inch dent

  in the floor as witness of its final double somersault

  the glass lay intact and still showing that same square

  of blue as if there were no unbreakabl
e chain of cause

  and effect, or as if the wind had changed when it fell.

  And because it was not a good mirror the wall

  looks much the same now under its replacement

  print where half-reflected faces flit against the tall

  white façade of a house in Kingsdown, its purple

  door inviting your glance casually to explore a hall

  whose chessboard diagonals anchor the interior

  volumes of stairwell and landing that lead round

  to a balcony where the framed view’s familiar

  as the room you’ve slept in for decades now or

  the bed’s iron railings firm in your grasp under

  the plane tree and that bird in its angular patch

  of sky indeterminately homing or taking flight.

  Domestic Science

  When they moved to the high-rise, the children came quickly –

 

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