by Sarah Bailey
“Do you ever think about it?”
“About what?”
His fingers around my waist tightened.
“That night… because I do.”
I turned my head back towards him. Duke was still leaning into me, his eyes dark under the streetlights.
“You do?” I choked out.
Is he as drunk as I am right now?
Duke never brought up the time we’d slept together. We’d been so focused on getting back to normality, we’d not had a conversation about it since the morning after it happened.
“Mmm… we might have been drunk, but I remember every moment with vivid clarity. Not something I can ever forget.”
I swallowed, my eyes falling to his lips. Our kiss earlier had awoken all of my senses again.
“I think about it too.”
Duke’s eyes fell to my lips. We should have been looking where we were going, but the two of us had got wrapped up in our own little bubble.
“It would be a bad idea if we did it again,” he murmured.
“Yeah, it would be.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, we are.”
In this moment, neither of us was looking at each other like we were just friends. The atmosphere between us was filled with sexual tension. I wondered who would snap first.
Duke looked away abruptly, pulling me to a stop. We’d almost walked out into the road without realising it.
“Fuck, that was close,” he breathed out.
He looked at me again and grinned.
“We should continue this conversation back at yours. I don’t want to get run over.”
I couldn’t help smiling back.
“No, doubt that would go down too well with our parents.”
He shook his head and tugged me toward my house. And I couldn’t help wondering what the conversation between us would entail when we got there. If we continued it, we’d be wading into incredibly dangerous territory… wouldn’t we?
Chapter Nineteen
What the fuck was I thinking, bringing up the time Kira and I had slept together? I blamed the kissing at Alex’s house. It had been unexpected. And I wanted more of it. More of Kira. Fuck, I wanted it all.
Kira dug her hand in her pocket, bringing out her house key and handing it to me. I unlocked the front door, pulling us both inside before shutting and locking it again. Neither of us said a word as we walked upstairs and along the hallway to Kira’s bedroom. I should have left her there and gone into the guest room, but I didn’t. No, I walked right into her bedroom with her and shut the door.
Kira turned to me, her copper eyes wide and her hands wringing in front of her. All it took was me taking one step towards her, then we were reaching for each other. My mouth crashed against hers, my hands tugging her body to mine. I groaned when my tongue met hers in a clash of need. She tasted exactly as I had remembered. Her body had filled out slightly in the past two years but in the most fucking delicious way. My hands roamed over her, touching whatever was available to me.
I walked her back towards the bed, continuing to devour her mouth like a man starving for air. For her. None of the girls I’d been with since Kira had ever given me the high I got from just kissing her. I knew why, of course. Love. It was my fucking love for this girl which made it much sweeter. Made her so much more desirable. I’d banned myself from thinking about her in this way. Now she was in my arms again. I needed more. I needed in her.
We fell on her bed in a heap. My mouth found hers again and our bodies ground together, making it impossible to think about anything else. I kissed my way down her jaw, my fingers diving under her t-shirt.
“God, I want to fuck you so hard,” I practically growled against her skin.
My cock was aching with need. My hand found her breast, the perfect handfuls which only drove me more insane.
“Duke,” she moaned, her hips grinding upwards into mine. Her legs wrapped around mine, trying to gain more friction.
“Tell me you want this, Kira. I need to know.”
She let out a shuddering breath.
“I want you.” Her hips bucked again. “I dare you to fuck me.”
I smiled against her skin. It might not be her turn to dare me, but neither of us cared. The madness of this moment was all that mattered.
“With pleasure.”
I pulled away. My hands went to her clothes, tugging them off in a rush because I couldn’t wait. Mine came next, garments flying everywhere. I had to dig into my pocket to find a condom. Since I only had one with me, I was going to make it count. In fact, I was going to make this whole fucking thing count. If I only had one last chance to be with her like this, I wanted to make the most of it.
Ripping open the foil, I rolled it on. Kira stared up at me, her pupils dilated and her breathing heavy.
“Get on your hands and knees.”
She didn’t hesitate to comply, rolling over and pressing herself up. I gripped her hips, pulling her back to position her just right. I leant over my best friend and kissed my way down her spine, watching her tremble. The sight of her like this only made my cock harder. I straightened and gripped my cock, guiding it to her entrance and rubbing the head up and down. She was so fucking wet already. She moaned when I slowly impaled her on it, her hands curling into the covers.
“Fuck, Kira, your pussy feels so good.”
She squirmed at my words, making me smile despite myself. My eyes fell between us, watching my cock disappear inside her. I used my other hand to spread her cheeks to get a better view. There was no hotter sight than this. It was compounded by the fact it was Kira I was sliding into. It almost felt inevitable this would happen after we kissed. Alcohol, me and Kira were not a good mix. It ripped away our inhibitions and better sense. We shouldn’t be having sex again, but here we were doing it anyway.
Slowly, I pulled out of her until my tip remained before sliding back in, watching with rapt attention. I wanted to brand this view into my retinas. Especially since I could see everything she had on offer.
“Kira.”
“Yes?” she breathed out.
I brushed my thumb over her other entrance. Her little hole was making me have dark thoughts about fucking her there.
“Can I touch you here?”
She looked back at me, her copper eyes wide.
“What? You want to… you… you never told me you were into that.”
I bit my lip. It wasn’t something I’d mentioned to anyone. This one girl asked me if I would be down for it last year and well… I’d developed a taste for it. It never seemed appropriate to bring it up to Kira. Why would I when neither of us had any intention of a repeat performance of two years ago?
“You never asked.”
I kept brushing my thumb over her. She wriggled a little, forcing more of my cock inside her.
“It feels weird.”
“Good or bad weird?”
She turned away, but not before I caught the blush spreading across her cheeks.
“Good,” she whispered.
I wasn’t asking to fuck her there. We had no lube and I would never contemplate doing that without it. I could play with her a little though, test the waters.
“Is that a yes?”
She said nothing for a long time. I continued to slide my cock in and out of her pussy, loving the way she clenched around me.
“You can,” she murmured, “To see if I like it.”
I moved my thumb away and stuck it in my mouth to coat it thoroughly. Bringing it back to her tight little hole, I stroked it, spreading my spit over her. She squirmed, pushing my thumb more firmly against her. I circled her entrance whilst fucking her with slow strokes. Her breathing grew more erratic, her hands tightening in the covers with each passing minute. She released it a second later and moved one of her hands between her legs to touch her clit.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” she moaned.
I too
k it as a sign she was enjoying it. I dribbled more spit between her cheeks and gathered it up with my thumb before pressing against her little hole. It took a minute for her to give way to my gentle pressure. She bucked as the tip of my thumb penetrated her. I held it there to allow her to get used to the sensation. After a minute, Kira pushed back against me, asking for more. I gave it to her, watching her body undulate in front of me. The way she moaned had me moving my thumb in and out of her.
“Oh, oh, god, I’m going to come.”
I fucked her harder, wanting to push her over the edge. Kira’s resulting cry was music to my ears. Her pussy pulsed around my cock. She trembled, her hand falling from her clit. Curses spilt from her lips, making me smile. This girl was absolutely beautiful when she came. I’d only managed to give her that experience once before. Seeing her again made me want to do it again. I could watch her like this forever.
When she slumped against the bed, I pulled my thumb from her arse and wrapped my hands around her hips. She whimpered as I went to town on her pussy, pounding into her like I couldn’t get enough. And I couldn’t. Kira felt hot and tight. The sounds she made only drove me higher. I wanted all of this forever. And yet I knew I couldn’t have it.
“Fuck,” I grunted, erupting inside her without warning.
I’d wanted to draw this out further, but it couldn’t be helped. The sensation of coming inside her deliciously wet pussy made my eyes roll back. I groaned, pressing deeper whilst my cock throbbed with its release.
Fuck, this was not supposed to happen.
Kira and I should not have slept together again. This was fucked up. I stared at her back, my high utterly disrupted by my thoughts. Letting go of her hips, I slipped out of her. Kira collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily as her body shuddered. I didn’t say a word as I got off her bed and went into her en-suite. After I cleaned up, I stared at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and my eyes wide. I was still feeling drunk off the alcohol and sex with her, but my thoughts were consumed with how I should not have torn her clothes off and impaled her on my cock. It had only made my heart ache with longing.
I shook myself. Now was not the time to drown in misery and regret. I had to make sure Kira didn’t feel like I was rejecting her, or that I thought this was a mistake. I steeled myself before going back out into her room. She’d not moved from the spot I’d left her in. I sat on the bed and stroked her hair back from her face. Her eyes were closed.
“Sleepy?”
“Mmm.”
Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Let me get you under the covers and you can go to sleep.”
“Duke…”
“Yeah?”
“Will you carry me into the bathroom?”
I shook my head but picked her up off the bed and took her into the bathroom, sitting her up on the toilet. I left her to it. We’d already had the foresight to leave water on her bedside tables earlier. I took a large gulp and pulled back her covers. Kira came out a couple of minutes later and I tucked her up in bed with me, holding her against my chest.
She promptly fell asleep, leaving me staring out the window at the dark sky. I had no idea what to do come morning. It’s not like I could offer Kira a real relationship. I was too fucked up for that. She deserved better. She needed a man who wasn’t wracked with guilt over his girlfriend’s death, nor the fact he’d slept with his best friend a week after it happened. And I certainly wasn’t proud of myself for the number of girls I’d been with since.
Being with Kira again made me aware that all the casual, no-strings-attached sex I’d been having wasn’t doing it for me. It couldn’t compare to being with someone you cared about and loved.
“What the fuck am I doing?” I whispered, “Why can’t I get my act together?”
I sighed and buried my face in Kira’s hair, adoring her peach scent. It was the only thing keeping me grounded.
“I want to tell you how much I love you, Kira, but I can’t. You deserve someone who can love you the way you should be loved. I can’t give that to you.”
Not to mention I had no clue if Kira felt the way I did. Asking would force me to admit things I wasn’t ready to. I wasn’t in a place to tell her my true feelings. I wasn’t ready to throw our fourteen-year friendship into disarray. Us sleeping together didn’t have to mean anything else other than a drunken night of passion, did it?
The problem was, it meant so much more to me.
Fuck.
I was screwed.
Well… and truly.
Chapter Twenty
When I woke up, my head hurt and my brain felt fuzzy. No doubt we’d done too many shots last night. I felt like absolute dirt. My mouth was dry as fuck. I cracked an eye open, spying a glass on the bedside table. Reaching out, I snagged it and sat up enough to down the entire pint of water. I set it back down and flopped on the bed. My head turned and found a mess of hair next to me. I recognised it instantly and my stomach sunk.
What the fuck am I doing in Kira’s bed? I looked down at myself. And why the hell am I naked?
It hit me all at once, the memories of what we’d done last night. How she’d kissed me in Alex’s kitchen to wind up some idiots. How I’d brought up us having sex on the way home. And how I’d kissed her, ripped her clothes off and she’d dared me to fuck her. I groaned, rubbing my hands over my face. I’d slept with Kira again. Not only that, but I’d introduced her to the idea of anal. I didn’t even know what the hell to do, say or think right then. We’d been so drunk last night.
Note to self: do not get wasted with Kira.
The last time we’d had sex, alcohol was involved. Whilst we’d been drunk around each other in the past two years, I’d always been pursuing other girls as a distraction from my own bullshit. Last night I’d stuck to Kira’s side like glue and got caught up in the fantasy of being with her for real. Now reality was rearing its ugly head. Reality sucked balls.
I should get up and go to the spare room. However, the thought of moving right now made me want to curl up in a ball. Fuck this shit. I was too hungover to extract myself from this situation. Closing my eyes, I drifted back off to sleep despite the warring thoughts about what I’d done with Kira plaguing me. I was too tired to care any longer.
The next time I awoke, I had two copper eyes staring at me when I turned my head. My mouth was dry and my head still hurt, but Kira was staring at me, her expression sheepish.
“Hey,” she whispered.
On instinct, I reached out and stroked my fingers across her cheek.
“Hey.”
“Guess we, um, got carried away last night.”
That was one way of putting it.
“Just a little.”
She smiled and bit her lip.
Thank fuck she wasn’t making this awkward and giving me hell over it. It took two to tango. We were both to blame for the sex last night. I hoped we could do what we’d done last time and not allow it to destroy our friendship.
“Are you hanging? Because I’m hanging.”
I retracted my hand and rubbed my face.
“My head feels like fucking lead.”
She rolled over onto her back and groaned.
“We should probably get up.”
“Do we have to?”
She chuckled and rubbed her hands over her face.
“Yeah, Duke. I have to check on Dad.”
Stan had full-time carers. Kira didn’t technically need to do anything, but she felt responsible for him. I understood. Her dad was the only blood family she had left. When he was gone, she’d inherit his title and become Baroness Suffield. I’d stopped winding her up about it. She hated the whole concept, but you couldn’t help the family you were born into.
Kira crawled out of bed. My eyes roamed over her bare skin, trying not to stare too hard. Fuck, she was more beautiful in daylight. I hated myself for admiring her like this, but I couldn’t help it. I’d had my han
ds full of her beautiful body last night. And my dick firmly buried inside her. I couldn’t turn the part of my brain off that grew aroused from the sight of her.
She glanced at me before looking down and realising she was naked. A blush spread across her cheeks, but she didn’t say a word. I watched her walk into her en-suite and breathed out a sigh. The shower turned on a minute later. Thoughts of her lathering herself up had me hiding my head under the covers. Even in my hungover state, my dick was hard. This wasn’t good at all.
Knowing staying here and listening to her shower would only make it worse, I hauled myself out of bed, tugged my boxers on and gathered up my clothes. I walked out of her room and along the hallway to the main bathroom, shutting myself in. Ten minutes later, I was showered and dressed. I found Kira was drying her hair in her bedroom when I wandered back in. She smiled at me from where she was sat at her dressing table.
I fiddled with my phone whilst I waited for her to be done. The two of us went downstairs and got a cup of tea each before we went to see her dad. Stan was sitting up in his high-backed chair by the window. He smiled brightly when he spied us.
“Morning.”
“Hi, Dad,” Kira said, walking over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “You okay?”
“I’m absolutely wonderful, darling.”
I took a seat in the chair opposite him, setting my mug down on the table. Kira stood back and set her mug down too. My head was still sore, but tea was helping, as had the shower.
“Well, that’s good.”
“Morning, Stan,” I said, waving a hand at him.
He had a strange look on his face as if he was expecting us to say something more. I glanced at Kira, who looked as confused as me.
“How are you two?” he asked after a moment.
“Um, we’re okay, Dad. Just… hungover,” Kira replied.
“Ah yes, did you have fun last night?”
She shrugged and perched on the arm of my chair. We’d told Stan we were going to a party before we left. He wanted Kira to live her life to the fullest and not feel burdened by him. It’s why he had carers rather than having his daughter take on the role.