by Sarah Bailey
“You staring because I’m pretty?”
“Yeah, I am.”
His eyes flicked down to me as he crossed the threshold into his bedroom.
“You going to start calling me pretty boy now?”
I grinned and shook my head. Duke set me down on the floor next to the bed. His hands went to my hair, fingers tangling in the strands as he pulled me closer. My hands slid up his chest.
“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he murmured, leaning down towards me.
His lips captured mine so I couldn’t respond. The kiss was slow and sensual, his mouth moving over mine with soft strokes. He nibbled my bottom lip, making me whimper. Then he curled his tongue around mine, leaving me utterly at his mercy. I gripped his braces to stop myself from falling to my knees.
Duke slid his hands from my hair down my shoulders and back, finding the zip of my dress and tugging on it. His fingers slipped under my dress, brushing against my bare skin. I whimpered again. My body felt hot. My arousal grew with each kiss and each touch. He knew exactly how to make a girl melt. I shoved away thoughts of how many girls he’d been with. It didn’t matter. This was us. We were different. There were feelings between us. A bond we shared. One I hoped would never be broken.
I tugged his braces off his shoulders. They dropped and lay hanging off his trousers. Duke pulled my dress from my body. He moved away to place it on a chair before returning to me. My fingers made quick work of his shirt, discarding it on the floor. My mouth watered at the sight of a shirtless Duke in only chinos and braces, his muscles flexing as he moved.
“I want a picture of this,” I blurted out without thinking.
His eyebrow raised.
“Of what?”
“You.” I waved my hand at him. “Like this.”
He licked his lip again, his eyes unashamedly roaming across my near-naked body.
“Take one then.”
I didn’t hesitate to dash from the room and get my phone from my bag. Duke had sat on the bed when I entered the bedroom again, leaning back with his hands behind him. He wore a smirk that had me wanting to crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless.
“No wonder girls can’t resist you,” I said as I pulled up my camera app.
Duke didn’t respond, merely posed for me. I laughed, but really, I found it incredibly sexy, especially when he pushed his hair out of his eyes. I captured the move perfectly.
“Okay, now I want you to lean against the doorframe.”
“Are we doing a whole photoshoot now?” he asked as he stood up and stretched.
“Why? You eager to get to the main event or something?”
He approached me, wrapping his hand around my waist and pulling me closer. His other hand went to my chest, fingers tracing a line down my breastbone.
“Very.”
My face was definitely on fire with his words.
“After this, you can do what you want with me.”
He placed a kiss on my temple before walking over to the door and leaning up against the frame. He dug his hands in his pockets. The whole pose was like something off a romance book cover. I took a bunch more photos with him smirking and changing positions. The heat in Duke’s eyes grew as he watched me. I was standing there taking photos in my underwear, which was all but see-through.
His patience wore out a minute later. Shoving off the doorframe, he approached me, took my phone out of my hand and popped it on the side table. He walked me backwards until my thighs hit the bed. Duke kicked off his shoes and pushed me down on the bed, crawling over me. My lips were covered by his the next second. His hands roamed over my body, setting me alight. I couldn’t think of anything better than to drown in Duke and his touch.
“I want to fuck you everywhere I can,” he murmured against my neck as he kissed his way down it.
I hadn’t forgotten what he’d done the last time we had sex. When he’d played with my other hole. With my rather limited sexual experience, I hadn’t considered anal before. Duke had piqued my curiosity. I might have been drunk that night, but it felt good. I wanted to try more. I wanted it to be with him. Duke was my safety. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or make me uncomfortable.
“I want you to.”
His hand slid underneath me and cupped my behind.
“Even here?”
“Yes,” I moaned.
“Fuck, Kira.”
He kissed his way down to my breasts as he made quick work of my bra. Sucking a nipple into his mouth, his fingers went to my knickers. I arched into him, desperately wanting to feel him inside me. I didn’t want to be teased. There was a need inside me which I didn’t want to tame any longer. A need for him.
“Duke, please… please fuck me.”
My voice came out all low and breathy with my desperation. He raised his head from my breast, eyes dark with desire. Raising up on his knees, he removed the rest of his clothes. Then he covered my body with his again, reaching out to grab the box from the bedside table. He ripped it open and pulled out a condom. Rolling it on, he smirked at me before taking my hand and holding it against the bed. The other lined him up against my entrance. I was so wet he slid in with no resistance. I choked out a moan. It felt fucking good. This was the first time I’d had sex without alcohol being involved. My senses were alive and kicking. All I wanted was to feel this way forever.
Duke’s body was hot against mine as he built a steady rhythm. His other hand slid up into my free one, entwining our fingers together against the sheets. He stared at me, watching my every pant and moan. I moved with him, encouraging the boy I loved to give it to me without restraint. The man who’d become my husband today. I wasn’t going to think about how us getting married had been for my father’s happiness. I wanted to pretend it was real. How could I not when Duke looked at me the way he was? Like I was the girl he loved.
We didn’t exchange words. He didn’t have to tell me what was going on inside his head. I could see it in his expression. How good this was. How letting go was what we both wanted. It was me and him. Reality couldn’t intrude.
He let go of one of my hands and slid it between us, touching my clit as he fucked me. I panted and moaned until I exploded, seeing spots in my vision as the pleasure washed over me. it didn’t take him long to fall over the edge with me.
When we came down and he disposed of the condom, he encouraged me to roll over on my stomach, pressing a pillow underneath my hips. Condoms were not the only thing Duke had bought whilst we’d been out yesterday. I swallowed when he popped the cap of the lube. Whilst I wanted to do this, it didn’t stop me from being nervous.
The cool gel made me shiver as he spread my cheeks wider and brushed his fingers over my entrance. At first, he merely circled it and didn’t penetrate me. The need inside me built with his stroking, making me push my hips back into his fingers. I couldn’t see his face, so had no idea what he was thinking. Duke slipped the tip of his finger inside me. I felt a mild sting, but otherwise, it wasn’t uncomfortable. He fed me more, his movements gentle although he had to apply some pressure.
“Okay?” he murmured, stroking his other hand along my hip.
“Mmmhmm.”
After he opened me up with one finger, he used a second. I adjusted to the new sensation, staying relaxed. Duke was being careful. He wouldn’t hurt me. I trusted him implicitly. He kept working me open for him, adding a third finger when he thought I was ready. By the time he pulled his fingers from me, I was thrusting back against him, eager for more.
“I’m going to go really slow, okay?”
I nodded, listening to him moving around behind me. When his hand landed on my behind, spreading me again, and I felt him against my entrance the next moment, I let out a breath.
“Try to stay relaxed and bear down a little, it’ll help.”
I took his advice as he pressed forward. My breath caught when the tip slid in. It didn’t exactly hurt, but the intense stretch made me grit my
teeth. Even so, I fought to stay relaxed like he’d told me to. He held himself there, not moving at all to allow me to get used to it. After a minute, I turned my head towards him. Duke’s face was screwed up in concentration.
“You can keep going,” I said, my voice a little shaky.
He fed me his cock with a slow, measured advance, giving me all the time in the world to adjust. Then he pulled out before pushing in again. I breathed through it until I felt myself loosening up and relaxing further.
“Fuck,” he grunted, “You feel incredible. Kind of glad I already came before or I’d have blown my load straight away.”
I snorted as my hands curled into the covers. He leant over me, kissing my shoulder before picking up the pace. The new sensation of having him deep inside me this way was almost overwhelming but in a good way. I groaned, pressing back into him.
“Do you like that?” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes, don’t stop.”
His hand wrapped around my hip whilst the other slid down. When he rubbed my clit, I moved faster with him, adoring the way he took me. Adoring the fact he wanted to give me pleasure whilst he pursued his own. In my experience, he’d never been a selfish lover. He always made sure I was satisfied, regardless.
“I’ve not stopped thinking about fucking you here since the night of Alex’s party. It’s better than I ever imagined.”
He sucked my earlobe into his mouth. I moaned as the implications of his words registered with me. He’d wanted to do this for weeks. Wanted me in this way. It made me aware Duke didn’t see me as just a friend any longer. We’d moved into new territory. I didn’t know what the future held between us, but I didn’t think we could go back to the way we were. Not when we’d got married and been this intimate with each other.
“Harder,” I panted, “Give it to me harder.”
And he did. I couldn’t get enough of him sliding in and out of me, driving me crazy with his fingers on my clit.
“Kira,” he groaned, “Fuck, I’m so close.”
I was right there with him. His fingers moved faster, sending me shooting right over the edge. I cried out. Pleasure ripped up my spine. It wasn’t quite like the way I came when he was inside my pussy, but fuck did it feel incredible. I didn’t want it to end. Lucky for me, Duke dragged it out, making me feel every second as I pulsed and twitched around him.
“Fuck.”
He exploded inside me, shuddering against my back with the force of his own climax. It only made me soar higher. Never in my life had I felt freer than those moments of ecstasy with Duke.
When we fell back to earth, he pulled out of me and rolled onto his back, panting. We stayed like that for a moment, both catching our breath.
“You want a shower?” he murmured.
“That’d be nice.”
He sorted out the condom before picking me up off the bed and carrying me into the bathroom. The two of us got soapy in the shower before pulling on robes after we’d dried off and curled up on his bed again. We looked over the room service menu, ordering something up to the room. When it arrived, we curled up on the sofa together watching TV whilst we ate. Contentment washed over me. I hadn’t forgotten about my father being sick in hospital, but he’d made me promise to enjoy my time here with Duke. And that’s exactly what I was trying to do.
Unless my father deteriorated, the rest of the world could go away. I wanted to stay in this bubble with Duke forever. It was where I felt secure. No matter what befell us, Duke and I would work through it together. Just as we always had done.
He was it for me. I had no idea if I was the same for him too. I didn’t know when I would be sure of his feelings. Not when we were here in New York and we’d agreed not to talk about those things.
I guess I would have to wait and see what happened when we got back home. And every part of me hated the way it only filled me with dread.
Chapter Twenty Nine
It was dark outside. The lights of the city were the only thing illuminating the room. Kira was curled up against my chest, her hand resting on my heart and her breathing steady. I stroked my fingers along the top of her bicep, watching her sleep and breathing in her peach scent.
We’d spent the day exploring more of New York. She was exhausted after all the walking. I wanted to give Kira a trip she could remember. It would always stick out in my memory. I’d married the girl I’d been in love with most of my life. I don’t remember when I fell in love with Kira. It had happened over several years. Maybe I’d always felt this way. We’d been incredibly close from the day we met as kids.
It wasn’t the first day of nursery, but a week after I started when I first sat down next to Kira. She’d been by herself in the corner with three soft toys surrounding her having a tea party. I’d asked if I could join her and she nodded. She told me the names of the toys. We’d sat together playing until the nursery assistant came over to check on us.
Kira had been quiet and timid, but it was like an instant connection between us. She’d had her hair braided that day. She told me her aunt had done it as her mummy had gone to heaven. It tugged at my heartstrings. I wanted to protect her, knowing she didn’t have a mummy. Guess I got those protective instincts from my dad. He was always defending those around him, especially Mum and Eric.
Dad had always compared my friendship with Kira to the way he and Eric were as kids. When other children had picked on Eric, my dad gave them hell for it. He was far more boisterous as a kid than me, according to Eric. I was a little more sensitive, even though I would always defend my siblings to my last breath if anyone gave them shit. Perhaps it was Eric and Raphi’s influence on me. My family dynamics had always been different. I had four fathers. I was never going to grow up being solely like one of them, despite how everyone always compared me to my biological father.
I never thought I’d end up falling in love with Kira. We’d been friends who cared about each other deeply. We’d grown closer every day we were around each other. She was the yin to my yang. My dad had introduced us to gaming and we’d fast fallen in love with it. It was something we’d always done together.
I didn’t think history would repeat itself. Eric had loved my dad since they were kids. Only when they’d met my mother had he revealed the truth. Perhaps I should do the same with Kira before it was too late. These few days in New York had only cemented my feelings for me. Being this intimate with her had altered our relationship irrevocably. We’d shifted from friendship into something entirely new. I’d told myself I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but perhaps I’d been waiting for a moment like this. A time when I could freely admit to Kira I loved her and hope she might feel the same.
Could we work as more?
Could we make this marriage real?
I wanted to. Every part of me craved it. Desired the chance to explore our deepening connection. I wanted to tell Kira how much I loved her. How she was the girl I compared everyone else to. How I’d never meet another person like her. Every word I’d spoken in the vows I wrote for our wedding ceremony was true. Kira was irreplaceable. I don’t think I could love someone the way I loved her.
People tell you the first person you fall in love with hits differently. You never forget them. They remain as a permanent mark on your heart, branding you for life.
Some people would question how I could sleep with other girls when being in love with my best friend. I wasn’t going to call myself one of the good ones. Damaged came to mind whenever I thought about myself. The shit with Andie had broken something inside me. Or perhaps I used it as an excuse not to get close to other people. Not to allow them access to my heart. The wider world thought Andie and I had been in love. Only Kira and my family knew the truth. I’d cared for Andie, sure, but love never entered the equation. It couldn’t.
This shit only fuelled my guilt and self-hatred. In my mind, I wasn’t a good person. I wasn’t a nice guy. I only saw myself as selfish. This whole marriage business? I’d to
ld myself it was for Stan and Kira. A big fucking lie if there ever was one. They had something to do with it, of course, but I wanted Kira for myself. I wanted her mine and in some fucked up way, this made it so. My intentions going into this were entirely fucked up. It felt safer to explore the possibilities between us when there was no pressure to be in a real relationship. And I was fully aware of how it would look if anyone found out my true reasons for marrying Kira.
I had to tell Kira I wanted a real relationship, even though I wasn’t sure of my capability to have one. The guilt of everything would only go away when I wasn’t holding these things in, wouldn’t it?
I stroked her hair out of her face.
“My wife,” I whispered, leaning down and kissing her temple.
Kira stirred, blinking before staring at me with a sleepy expression on her face.
“Aren’t you sleeping?” she croaked.
I shook my head. She reached up and curled her hand around my neck, stroking her fingers through the fine hairs at the bottom of my head. My chest rumbled with my approval. She moved her hand higher up, stroking my scalp.
“You thinking too much?”
“A little,” I admitted.
“Want me to distract you?”
I smiled.
“You don’t have to do that.”
I wouldn’t complain if she did. Hell, when we got back home, I would miss this. I knew unless I spoke my mind, we couldn’t continue sleeping together. It wasn’t about the sex, even though that was fucking incredible. Having her in my arms gave me contentment and peace. She belonged in them. Kira belonged with me.
All I have to offer her is a broken soul. But I’d love her with everything I had if I trusted myself to be the man she needed.
It was the thing holding me back. Whilst I gave Kira most things in my power, she deserved more. She deserved the entire fucking world. Maybe I had her up on a pedestal, but in my mind, Kira should be treated like a goddess. And if I wasn’t so fucked up, I would worship at her altar freely.