A Chapter on Love

by Laney Webber

  “Oh, Lee, thank you. And thanks for the cookies. Oatmeal raisin is my favorite, and they brought them over still warm from the oven. Mm, I had one and it was perfect.”

  “Could you say that again?” Lee asked.

  “What?”

  “You said oatmeal raisin is your favorite and they were still warm. But it was what you said after that.”

  “What? Mm?” Jannika liked teasing and flirting with Lee. It was like she was able to put down a weight she didn’t know she was carrying. She felt lighter. She felt happy. She wanted to get a response from Lee.

  “Oh my, yes,” Lee said, her voice dropping. Jannika felt her heart quicken.

  “Apologies. I know you’re at work, and this isn’t the time for…”

  “For…?” Jannika wished she wasn’t at work. She wanted to flirt with Lee in person.

  “For playful banter,” Lee said. Jannika could hear Lee grinning on the other end of the phone. “I was wondering, if your ankle is up to it, would you like to go apple picking this weekend? I saw a sign for an apple orchard on the road to my house, something-something meadows? Do you even like apples?” Lee laughed.

  “My ankle is much better, not swollen at all. I have to admit my mind wasn’t on where I was walking last night. And yes, I like apples, and yes, I would love to go apple picking this weekend. I work on Saturday, but I’m free on Sunday.”

  “That works for me. What time on Sunday, and what was your mind on?”

  “How about I meet you at Green Meadow Orchard at ten o’clock? I think they’ll still have some cider doughnuts left. They pretty much make them all day during picking season.” Jannika walked with the phone to the end of the store aisles and glanced around to make sure customers hadn’t slipped into the store while she wasn’t paying attention. “My mind was on a very beautiful woman and her lips.”

  “I’ll make a note to buy you cookies more often. They seem to have an interesting effect on you.”

  They exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and it took them about three tries to say good-bye. Neither of them wanted to be the first to hang up. This was silly, thought Jannika, as she turned around and put the bookstore phone on the long counter behind her. She smiled. And kind of wonderful. She was glad that Lee had suggested a daytime date. Lee had heard her when she told her she wanted to take this one step at a time. She listened and she respected Jannika’s wishes. The next few days would drag by.

  ***

  At closing on Saturday, Jannika shut off the last of the lights and said, “Good night, little bookstore,” as she locked the door. She stopped at Joy Wok and picked up some pork fried rice and sweet and sour chicken on her way home. She didn’t want to cook tonight. She planned on a Saturday spa night before the apple picking date tomorrow. She used to do spa nights a long time ago, before she met Joanne, but Joanne thought spa nights at home were silly when you could make an appointment and go to a spa.

  She finished the last of her plate and put the leftovers in the fridge. She went in the bathroom to check on her tub—almost full. She took off her gray corduroys, peeled off her socks, unbuttoned her soft blue shirt, and unhooked her bra. Oops, she’d forgotten her special spa music. She grabbed her robe off the hook on the back of the bathroom door and padded out to the living room. She searched the shelf of old CDs above her sound system, pulling a Wondrous Wind Chimes CD from the shelf and putting it on repeat. She flipped a second wall switch in the bathroom and the sound of ocean waves and tinkling wind chimes filled the room. Jannika loved this cottage and the care that her landlords had taken when they remodeled it. Each room was wired for sound.

  “Perfect. Perfecto. Perfection.” She smiled as she hung her robe back on the hook, then took off her underwear and flipped it into the hamper. Jannika stepped into the tub and lowered herself into the warm water, unfolding her legs as she sat down. She leaned back against the tub and let the steam work its magic on her skin. She hadn’t heard from Lee since their phone call. Was Lee waiting for her to call or text her? She rubbed honey almond soap into the bath sponge and ran the sponge up and down her wet arms.

  She didn’t want to give Lee mixed signals. A phone call might make it seem like she wanted things to move faster, and she didn’t. Well…part of her did, and part of her didn’t. She wasn’t sure what the right thing was to do. She soaped the sponge again and rubbed it on her belly. A picture of Lee flashed in her mind and stayed. Lee looking at her after they kissed. Lee looking into her, seeing her, embracing all of Jannika. Lee’s face flushed, her eyes full of desire. The ripples of water caressed Jannika’s skin, and they were Lee. Lee’s fingers, Lee’s hands. Jannika’s thighs trembled and her back tightened and arched. If only her mind could be as sure as her body was.

  ***

  Jannika pulled her car into Green Meadow Orchard’s parking lot at nine fifty-five a.m. Her excitement coupled with a caffeine buzz had her fingerless-gloved hands tapping the steering wheel. She scanned the parking lot for Lee’s truck and didn’t see it. Her mind began a round of anxiety questions. Should she get out and wander around over by the pumpkins? Or should she get out and sit on one of the bales of hay by the parking lot fence? No, that would look posed, she’d look like someone trying a bit too hard. “I guess I’ll sit here and wait,” she mumbled to herself.

  She watched as several couples with children pulled up and got out of their vans and SUVs. Jannika liked the idea of children but could never make up her mind if she wanted her own. She couldn’t get past the thought of the possibility of hurting a child the way her father had hurt her. Her head whipped to her left at the sound of gravel crunching next to her car.

  “Good morning,” Lee called as she waved gloved hands at Jannika’s car window.

  Jannika grabbed her black skinny down jacket, got out of her car, and slipped the jacket on. “Good morning to you too.” Her voice was an octave too high, probably another effect of the half a pot of tea she drank before she got to the orchard. Lee raised her eyebrows, probably wondering why she sounded like she’d huffed helium, but her smile didn’t change.

  “Have you been here before?” Lee asked. They both turned toward the gravel walkway next to the large red barn.

  “I come by to grab a pie or some cider, but I haven’t been apple picking since I lived in Maine,” Jannika replied. She ran her gloved hand along the fence rail and hopped her hand over each fence post as they walked up to the barn.

  “Are you picking?” asked the young woman who sat inside a little white shingled box with a roof that looked a lot like a wishing well. At their nods, she handed them each a small white paper bag with a big apple stamped in red on the front and back.

  “Where do we go?” Jannika asked. The young woman gave Jannika a big wide smile, her eyes lingering on Jannika’s face for a couple of seconds before she replied. She hoped Lee didn’t notice.

  “Follow the red arrows down this lane and someone will show you where to pick. What variety are you lookin’ for?” The young woman focused her attention entirely on her, completely ignoring Lee.

  “I’m going to make a pie later, so I’m looking for Cortlands,” Jannika said, her words coming out in a rush. She was never comfortable with other women flirting or admiring her. She never knew how to respond or if she should respond. She was on a date with Lee, not apple woman.

  “And I want some Honeycrisps,” Lee said.

  “I bet you make a great pie.” The young woman tipped her head to the side a bit and looked up at Jannika and then leaned forward and looked at Jannika’s hands. “Yes, I bet you do.” She took a deep breath. “Okay, then. Both of those are down the path and up a small hill on your right. There’ll be signs.”

  “Great, thanks. We’ll return,” said Lee brightly, and she set off down the grass lane, swinging her paper bag.

  Jannika’s boots moved through the wet grass and in a few steps she caught up with Lee.

  “Did you catch Miss Red Flannel in the booth giving you the eye?” Lee turned
and looked at Jannika.

  “Oh, really? I didn’t notice anything,” Jannika said. She didn’t turn to look at Lee and tried not to smile.

  “I have to make a confession, and you should probably know this about me.” Lee stopped.

  Jannika stopped walking too and held her paper bag with both hands. She felt the armor near her tender heart draw in close. She looked at Lee.

  “Here goes,” Lee said.

  Was Lee blushing? A small stripe of pink showed on her cheekbones and neck, not fiery red like one of Jannika’s blushes. She had never seen Lee blush before.

  “I like it when other women admire the woman I am with. I feel proud and happy to be with such a beautiful woman and love when other women acknowledge that too. In fact”—Lee leaned toward a stunned Jannika—“it makes me a little hot and bothered, if you know what I mean.” Lee waggled her eyebrows up and down. “Too much information?” Lee tipped her head to the side with the unanswered question.

  Jannika tried to get her jaw to work so she could speak. It had come a bit unhinged. Nothing and no one had prepared her for this woman. She shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I mean, that’s great, I guess…Okay, I’m not sure what I mean. You mean you aren’t jealous?”

  “Jealous? Gosh, there’s nothing to be jealous of. I’m not a jealous person. I’m more a grateful person, a person who appreciates things, appreciates life.” Lee’s face grew solemn and her eyes went a bit flat and expressionless. “I know how fast life can change.”

  “Your wife, I’m sorry I forgot her—”

  “Shannon, that’s her name. Sometimes five years seems forever and sometimes it feels like yesterday,” Lee said.

  “You haven’t told me much about Shannon or your life with her. I hope someday when the time seems right, you will. I want to know about you.” She stepped a little closer to Lee and looked into her eyes. “I want to know everything.”

  Jannika continued to look into Lee’s eyes as families and couples on their way up the path walked around them. She barely noticed them. All she saw were Lee’s eyes looking into hers asking a question. She replied with a look and a smile. Lee reached over and took Jannika’s hand.

  “Jannika,” she said, her voice soft and low. “Let’s get some apples and then let’s go over to my house.”

  “Okay,” Jannika whispered.

  They climbed the short hill to the area marked for picking, their shoulders bumping every now and then. Jannika picked her bag of Cortlands for apple pie and Lee picked her bag of Honeycrisps. Lee took an apple out of her bag as they headed back down the hill.

  “That was the fastest apple picking expedition I’ve ever been on,” she said with a laugh. “Hungry?” Lee handed Jannika the apple.

  “Me too.” Jannika returned the laugh and took the apple. She rubbed it on the front of her shirt, licked her bottom lip, and parted her lips around the red skin. She bit into the apple with slow precision. She looked at Lee as juice ran down her chin.

  “Girl, what you do to me,” Lee said, shaking her head.

  Jannika wiped her chin with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry,” Jannika said with a mouthful of apple.

  “You are so not sorry,” Lee said.

  “Right. I am so not sorry.” Jannika laughed.

  Jannika caught Lee watching her legs as they walked. She liked when Lee looked at her. She usually felt self-conscious when women noticed her body, but not with Lee. She felt beautiful. Lee held out her hand and she switched her apple bag to her left hand, took Lee’s hand, and gave it a squeeze. They paid Miss Red Flannel for the apples and grabbed their bags from the pitted wood counter.

  “How about you follow me to my place,” Lee said.

  “Sounds like a plan,” Jannika said.

  “It’s up the road on the right,” Lee pointed into the trees.

  Jannika put her bag of apples on the floor of the back seat and wrapped the small blanket she always kept in the car around the bag. She hoped they wouldn’t roll all over the place. She followed Lee as she took a left out of the parking lot and headed up the road. They had gone only about a half a mile when Jannika saw Lee’s right taillight blinking.

  Right up the road and she’d be with Lee. She took a deep breath. She wasn’t exactly anxious, more excited and happy. Go with it, Jannika. Happy was good. She turned the car onto a dirt driveway, lined with golden sugar maples. Leaves dotted the stone walls on both sides of the driveway. The trees were so old they formed a golden canopy overhead. She felt like she was driving into a storybook.

  The canopy opened to reveal a simple white farmhouse with a small ell. Across the driveway on the right were a small red barn and a couple of acres of hay fields. She pulled up behind Lee, parked, and jumped out of the car.

  “Lee, this is gorgeous. How did you find it?”

  “My friend Bill, one of the rangers I work with. His father owned this place, and he passed away last year. The place has been in the family for years, but none of them wants to live here. They don’t want to give it up either, so they were looking for someone to live here and watch over things. I came and took a look and…” Lee held out her hands, palms up.

  “There was no and, was there? I bet it was love at first sight.” Jannika caught her double entendre as the words left her mouth and knew her face had turned a deep shade of red. She tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. “Would you show me around?”

  “I’d love to,” Lee said, taking her hand. “First, I’ll show you the house, then the barn.”

  She followed Lee up the stairs to the ell and into the mudroom. The house had original wide pine board floors, and the kitchen had been updated but kept the farmhouse style with a soapstone sink and a big six-burner stove. It was an eat-in kitchen and a farmhouse table and chairs sat next to a big picture window that looked out to the fields.

  “I’d sit down with a cup of tea and never leave,” Jannika said.

  “Sometimes I wish I could do just that. I love that view. I’ve seen deer, rabbits, turkeys, foxes, and an occasional heron. There must be a pond nearby, but I haven’t found it yet. I can’t wait to see the show this winter and next spring.” Lee turned and smiled at Jannika.

  “That would be Baker’s Pond. My aunt used to bring me skating there when I was little. I’ll show you sometime.” She liked knowing Lee intended to be around for a while.

  Lee brought her through the rest of the house. She tried to read the titles of the books on the bookshelves in the living room as they passed through. She loved the braided rug and woodstove and all the small wood sculptures of birds and animals that lined an antique cabinet. There was a tiny bathroom in what probably used to be a closet, and a huge screened porch outside the front door. Lee opened the screen door and held out her hand once again to clasp Jannika’s.

  “Now for the best part,” Lee said leading her over a crooked flagstone walkway toward the barn. The flagstones stopped about halfway there.

  “Why do the flagstones stop here and turn back toward the kitchen in the back of the house? I wonder why they didn’t continue the path all the way to the barn,” Jannika said.

  “The stones go to where the well used to be. One path from the front of the house and one path from the back. Can you picture it?” Lee asked.

  “I can.”

  Lee grabbed the big wooden barn door handle and slid the door to the side. Then she reached inside to the right and flipped a switch. The barn smelled like dirt and wood, old hay and a hint of animals—horse? cow? pig?—Jannika couldn’t tell which. There was a large center aisle and a ladder that went up to the hayloft. Small wood pens were lined up on the left. Jannika thought they were probably for pigs. On the right, there was what looked like a huge horse stall. Lee stood with her hand on its door, then slid the door on its track to the right.

  “Jannika. Come look.”

  She stepped up beside Lee and looked into the big stall. There was a huge workbench in the center, and smaller benches lined the three wa
lls. Woodworking tools of all shapes and sizes hung on the walls. Several small piles of wood shavings were on the floor. Jannika walked close to the center workbench.

  “Are these yours?” she asked.

  “It’s my hobby. It’s what I do when I’m not at the park,” Lee said, picking up a small hand-carved bird. The little chickadee sat in an intricate carving of a human hand, its palm slightly curved to hold the bird. She put the chickadee in Jannika’s hand.

  “Oh my God, Lee, these are beautiful.” She looked at the other carvings on shelves around the room and the sketches tacked up on one of the barn beams near the door.

  “I remember you always whittling little animals out of wood scraps at camp. So the animals I saw on the shelf in your living room…?”

  “Yes, those are mine.”

  “I didn’t know you were an artist. Do you sell them? How could you sell them?” she asked, still holding the little bird and rubbing her thumb along the wing. She thought about the care and skill it must take to carve these small creatures. Each one seemed filled with beauty and peace. She pictured Lee in this workshop, her hands taking such care to carve these birds and animals. She remembered her at camp, sitting on her cabin’s steps, carving things. She looked at Lee’s hands.

  “Sometimes I go to craft fairs, and I have an Etsy shop online. I love sharing them with people who are drawn to them. And the cash helps out a lot in the winter,” Lee said. She stepped closer to Jannika and put her hand under Jannika’s hand. The hand holding the little wood bird. “You know, you’re holding it exactly the way I carved the hand over there on the bench to hold it, with your thumb barely touching the wing. This one must belong to you,” Lee said, looking into Jannika’s eyes.

  “Oh no, I couldn’t, Lee,” Jannika said, moving to place the little bird back in the wooden hand. When Lee’s hand cradled hers, the hairs on her arm rose.

  “You are adorable and slightly dangerous. You know that, don’t you?”

  “How am I dangerous?” Jannika asked.