Reclaiming Love

by Vicki McElfresh

  "Are you all right, Kevin? Did he hurt you?” Kevin shook his head and opened his eyes to find Karen kneeling beside him. She touched his cheek. “You're going to have a hell of a bruise here."

  "I'm okay,” he managed. “Is it over?"

  "For a little while. I can charge him with aggravated stalking and assault with a weapon. Whether or not he stays in jail depends on whether or not he makes bail."

  Kevin's hands were shaking when he covered his face. “He said he would kill me."

  "I'm not going to let that happen, Kevin. This was a ballsy and foolish thing you did, but effective. I'll give you that one. I'll get a search warrant for his house.” She helped him to his feet. “Let's get you back to Connor.” His legs trembled when he walked back across the street. Connor met them halfway and caught him when his legs gave out. He was lightheaded, almost giddy, and he stared up into Connor's bright eyes.

  "I don't think I'm hungry anymore.” Darkness edged into his vision, and he fell, collapsing into strong arms that promised never to let him go.

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  Chapter Fourteen

  "Shock,” Karen said when Connor looked at her.

  He slowly lowered Kevin to the ground, ignoring the crowd that surrounded them. He'd been amazed that no one had intervened, even though several people had stopped to stare when Josh had shoved Kevin into the wall. Connor had been out of his seat and to the door of the restaurant when he realized Josh wasn't going to let Kevin walk away. By the time he'd gotten across the street, the cops had arrived. He hadn't quite believed Karen when she said a few minutes, but they must have flown.

  "The ambulance is on the way. I don't think he's hurt, except for the bruise on his cheek, but he'll probably have some nasty nightmares."

  Connor heard the wail of the ambulance, but Kevin didn't wake up. “It's over?"

  Karen shrugged and shook her head a little. “Only if he can't make bail, but that's not likely. He's got plenty of money."

  Connor sighed, realizing now why Kevin had been suspicious when he'd found out about his wealth. “I can get felony charges, but a first time offender?” She shrugged. “We'll see.” The ambulance pulled up. Kevin didn't even stir while the paramedics performed a quick examination, loaded him onto a stretcher and into the ambulance.

  "Wait! If he's not hurt—"

  "Are you family?"

  "No, but—"

  Karen intervened. “Kevin doesn't have family. Let his friend ride with him.” The look the paramedic gave her could have peeled paint, but Connor was allowed to ride to the hospital in the ambulance. He was able to go as far as the waiting room with Kevin before he was whisked away for a better examination. His cell phone started ringing as soon as he chose one of the ugly and uncomfortable brown chairs.

  "Hello."

  "Connor! Where are you?” Nicki was hysterical. “I was at work, and I heard there was all this commotion down the road, and I heard—” She took a deep breath “Where's Kevin?"

  "At the hospital. I don't know which one. I don't think he's hurt, but he passed out. Shock, Karen said."

  "Find out where you are."

  He asked one of the other people in the waiting room. The woman gave him a look that suggested she thought he might be crazy, or the least addled. “Barnes."

  "I'm on my way.” Nicki hung up, and Connor covered his face with his hands. He didn't know how long he sat that way, but the voice that called his name made him jump.

  "Are you Connor McCann?” The nurse was a heavy-set black woman, who looked like she'd eaten nails for breakfast and waited the rest of the day to spit them out.

  "Yes."

  "Come with me.” He followed her into a curtained alcove where Kevin lay on a bed, looking a little pale and shaken but otherwise okay. “He can go home in a little bit. He's shaken up, but not hurt.” She slammed the curtain closed, and Connor sat down on the edge of the bed beside Kevin and touched his face.

  Connor kissed his forehead, not quite sure how to put his emotions into words. “Don't do that again."

  "I'm sorry,” Kevin whispered. Tears welled up in his dark eyes.

  "Don't be sorry."

  "I saw him, and I couldn't help it. I was so mad, and he was wearing my parka. I just wanted him to go away. It's not over, you know."

  "I know, but we have a few days at least. Time to get your life back in order."

  Kevin didn't react. He didn't seem to be quite himself, really. He kept talking as though he'd never heard Connor. “He can make bail. He has money. His dad left him a fortune when he died. Everyone thought I had it so good at first. I had a rich daddy to take care of me.” Kevin closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He sounded weak, and his breathing deepened as if he'd gone to sleep. The curtain opened again, admitting a tall, athletic woman with long blonde hair. She looked a bit like a supermodel, despite the unfashionable scrubs and doctor's coat she wore.

  "Stohler?” The doctor said and stared at the chart in her hand. “I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in here again."

  "Good to see you, Dr. Vitriani,” Kevin murmured and opened his eyes. He blinked a couple of times. “This would be emergency room visit number twelve.” He stared at the doctor. “You look as lovely as ever.” He focused on Connor for a minute, still seeming a bit dazed. “Does Nic know I'm here?"

  "She called me."

  Kevin smiled and winked at the doctor, who just shook her head. “She'd still turn queer for you."

  "Ah, yes. How could I forget? The girl with the purple hair.” She turned his face to examine the darkening bruise on his cheek.

  "It's been a while, and the hair's pink now. Pink and red for Valentine's Day."

  The doctor checked his vitals. “I'm going to keep you here a bit longer."

  "I want to go home.” Kevin closed his eyes.

  "I know you do, and since I haven't seen you for a while, I'm hoping you've gotten away from the jerk who was beating you.” She tapped his cheek. “Stay with me, Kevin. I don't want to see you here again."

  He opened his eyes again.

  "I'm going to give you a prescription for something to help you sleep. You may or may not need it, but I would suggest you take one when you get home. The social worker is going to come talk to you."

  Kevin scowled. “Don't like them either, and I don't need drugs. Devon—"

  "I can go get him if you want."

  Kevin actually looked a little panicked. “No, don't. I'll talk to him. I have medicine. I don't need—"

  "Right, Stohler.” She opened his file, a file that seemed awfully thick. “I got your file. It says you have standing prescription for anti-anxiety medicine, and Lancaster's note says you won't take it."

  Kevin let out a heavy breath. “I don't like you people."

  "Then stay out of my ER.” She patted his cheek. “As for the social worker, you're an assault victim. Talking to the social worker is procedure, and you can thank me for the drugs later. Sleep for a little bit if you want."

  Kevin's breathing grew deep and even again. The doctor tapped Connor's arm and motioned him away from Kevin to the desk. “Does he live with you?"

  "He's staying with me until he finds a new place."

  The doctor shrugged. “He's shaken up. He'll calm down, and I'll send him home with some happy drugs to help him sleep. Of course, he probably won't take them. Nightmares are normal after an assault."

  "You know him?"

  She nodded and made a note in her file. “He was a fixture here for a while, and I treated him the last time he was here. He'll be fine with some rest. Is he going to a counselor?"

  "No, but—"

  "That would be a good idea. You can stay with him if you want, or wait in the waiting room.” She walked off, and Connor returned to the curtained alcove to wait.

  Kevin slept peacefully for about twenty minutes before he opened his eyes again. He looked around him as if he hadn't realized where he was. “I'm in the hospital again.” He ran h
is fingers through his hair and touched the bruised cheek. “Visit number twelve,” he said again. “I hate hospitals."

  "Just a precautionary thing. You were in shock. They say you can go home in a little bit.” Connor tucked an errant stand of hair behind Kevin's ear. “I thought you were only in the hospital four times.” Kevin started to sit up, but Connor pushed back onto the bed. “Just rest."

  "Four extended stays, lots of ER visits. Eleven total, now twelve. I was very clumsy. I fell down the stairs. I tripped over the hose.” He looked away from Connor. “He made all sorts of excuses when he had to bring me here to get something stitched or to make sure I didn't have a concussion. I had a horseback riding accident.” He turned his attention back to Connor. “Want to hear something funny about that one?"

  "What?"

  "I've never ridden a horse."

  Connor laughed a little. “Not even a pony ride?"

  He shook his head. “My parents never did things like that with me. My mom was all about dance, and my dad ignored me mostly until I was older.” Before Connor could ask more questions, Kevin cut him off. “Josh?"

  "Cooling his heels in jail."

  Kevin's lips moved, but Connor wasn't sure if he was praying or just whispering something to himself. Kevin's fingers threaded through his. “It's not over until he's been tried. I've read about cases where people ended up dead just a few days before the trial. He'll make bail, Connor. He doesn't have to work. That's why he has so much time to obsess over me."

  "One day at a time, Kevin. One day at a time.” He stroked Kevin's hair. “They want you to talk to a social worker."

  "Of course, they do. I hope it's not the same one I had the last time."

  Connor laughed softly.

  "She was a piece of work. She slipped me a little pamphlet telling me all about the wrath of Almighty God."

  "You're joking."

  "I am not.” He sat up, and this time Connor didn't try to keep him still. “I want to go home and take a long shower and brush my teeth. I can still taste him.” He grimaced.

  "A little longer. I promise.” Connor ran his fingers through Kevin's hair. “Nicki's probably here. She called me."

  "Go get her. Have her come back. We can scandalize the social worker."

  After three hours of waiting, Kevin had a brief consult with the social worker. He told her he was fine, but the woman had suggested further counseling and gave him a pamphlet and the business card of a psychologist. He promised Dr. Vitriani he would fill the prescription she gave him. When she left, he slid off the bed to leave and glanced at it.

  "Diazepam,” he murmured and wadded it up. “Do I look like a basket case, Connor? Is that why every doctor I see insists on giving me valium?"

  "She said it would help you sleep."

  Nicki wrapped her arm around Kevin's waist and led him toward the door. “The doctor just wanted you to rest, that's all. The drugs are supposed to help with the nightmares."

  "Nothing helps with those.” He paused in front of the hallway that led into the hospital. He even took a few steps in that direction.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah,” he said and walked outside. “I thought about going to see an old friend, but I'll call him later. Let's just go home."

  Connor touched Kevin's back, wondering what old friend he wanted to see. He had an idea, given the brief conversation he'd heard in the exam room. He would ask Kevin later. “You're supposed to rest, remember?"

  "I'm going to bed after my shower,” Kevin promised when he climbed into Nicki's car. The ride back to Connor's flat was silent, but Connor had glanced back to find Kevin staring out the window, smiling a little. He escaped to the bathroom as soon as they got inside. The water ran for almost thirty minutes before Kevin emerged and gave Connor a kiss and Nicki a hug before crawling into bed. He fell asleep quickly, leaving Nicki and Connor alone.

  "Did he tell you what happened?” Nicki rolled the office chair across the floor so she could peer into the bedroom.

  "No, but I saw some of it. Kevin says this isn't over."

  "But they have him. They caught him in the open—"

  "Karen agreed with him.” He rubbed his eyes, suddenly tired. “I hope they're wrong. I hope it's over. He was so happy this morning."

  "It'll get better. I'm sure of that. He just needs time."

  "Nicki knows best?"

  She tucked a strand of her pink hair behind her ear and smiled. “Nicki always knows best.” A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Connor answered it and found Karen on the other side.

  She stepped into the flat and waited until Connor shut the door to speak. “How is Kevin?"

  "Asleep."

  "With happy drugs from the hospital?"

  Connor shook his head. “He wadded the prescription up, shoved it in his pocket, and didn't fill it."

  She shook her head. “I'd rather he didn't do anything like that again. He's lucky I was close."

  "You must have been right on top of us."

  "That's my secret. Harding will be out tomorrow, or maybe his paperwork gets lost and he doesn't get out until Saturday. But he'll be out. He's been warned to stay away from Kevin, but I doubt he'll heed the warning."

  "So, it's not over.” Connor thought for a moment. “What about a restraining order? Wouldn't that help? At least something could be done if he violated it."

  Karen chewed her lip. “It would help. Unfortunately, it will take time. Harding will be out of jail before it goes through.” She let out a heavy sigh. “If you could get him to agree to talk to the judge, he could get an emergency order, but I don't know that he will. He's scared. He's convinced there's nothing that can be done, no matter what I'm doing now. His past experiences with the police haven't been all that positive. He had multiple hospital visits before anyone ever questioned the nature of his injuries. I don't think he'll agree."

  Connor hated the system, hated the way it relied on procedure. Kevin didn't need to be put through more hell right now. He looked back to the bedroom where Kevin still slept. “I'll mention it, but I don't think he'll do it."

  She shook her head and scowled. “It might be best if Kevin moved, started over someplace far from here. I know he doesn't want to do that, and there's no guarantee Harding wouldn't follow him. He evidently has the resources to go where he wants, when he wants.” She pulled something from her pocket. “You can give these back to Kevin. He'll still want to call his bank and credit card companies, but he can have his license back."

  Connor took them and noticed the picture of Kevin on his driver's license was almost three years old. The face in the picture was terribly thin, and the haunted expression on his face made it seem a sad caricature. “What does he have to do before he doesn't get any more chances?"

  Karen sighed and dragged one of the crates out so that she could sit. “Keep doing what he's doing. He's not being as smart now. Putting a knife to Kevin's throat in broad daylight was rather stupid, but he insists Kevin used to enjoy that."

  Nicki gasped. “Kevin never—"

  Karen shrugged. “I don't believe it, but that's his story. The more dangerous he becomes, the more likely I can keep him in jail. That's why I said Kevin would be better served moving out of this area, out of the state, someplace far enough away Harding couldn't bother him."

  "But he loves this area,” Nicki said. “He's lived here all his life. Why should he have to move? Josh should be the one punished, not Kevin. Kev's suffered enough."

  "I agree.” Her brow furrowed slightly, and she was silent for several minutes before speaking again. “I moved from Minnesota to Missouri. I didn't know anyone here, but I watched for a job out of state, and I found one. I can take down a man three times my weight, but my partner who was ten pounds lighter and four inches shorter could beat me bloody. And she did, frequently. When I left her, she did what Harding has done to Kevin. Sent me things, called, begged for me to go back. It's hard to be queer and a cop. It's even harder knowing I s
houldn't have ever gotten in the situation in the first place. I should have been able to protect myself and get out unscathed, but I didn't. I loved her, and I didn't want to hurt someone I loved. Instead, I left my friends and my family behind and came here. It wasn't easy. It was really hard at first, but it's better now. I go home for visits, but when I'm there, that old dread creeps back, and I'm always glad to come home where I can live without fear."

  Connor blinked, reeling from the story. “But—"

  "Kevin's tough, and he's smart. I don't want to see him end up as a statistic. Being battered by his lover made him enough of one. Plant the seed, and see if he considers it. That's my advice. But if he's going to insist on staying in this city, be prepared for Harding to continue harassing him. Even if I could get him sent to jail for stalking and assault, he'll be out in less than a year. These are things Kevin needs to consider, and I'm still waiting on warrants for Kevin's other charges."

  "I was hoping you'd have some good news,” Connor murmured and stared out the window. He'd raised the shades, and sunlight poured into the apartment. “It seems like he loses no matter what."

  She shrugged and stood. “Unfortunately, that's what happens in these situations. And with someone like Harding, who's unpredictable, I can only tell you that it'll get worse.” She put a comforting hand on Connor's shoulder. “He'll recover, that I can promise you, but recovery will take time."

  "Thanks."

  She left then, and Connor buried his face in his hands, wishing he could find a magic solution. “What do we do now, Nicki?"

  Her expression was thoughtful when he looked up. “I've got an idea, but we aren't going to tell Kevin about it."

  "What?"

  "Well, I can't tell you either or it wouldn't be a surprise."

  "You aren't going to see Josh, are you?"

  "Damn.” She pulled her knees to her chest. “You guessed."

  "I don't think that's a good idea. Let the cops deal with him."

  She picked at her fiery red nails. “The problem with that is they aren't handling it. You heard the lady. He'll be out tomorrow or the next day, and then he's free to come after Kev again. I don't want that to happen.” She stared out the window. “Scott and his friends could make sure he never came near Kevin again."