Reclaiming Love

by Vicki McElfresh

  "By beating him senseless?"

  She shrugged. “He might think twice."

  "Or he might retaliate. Don't do that, Nicki."

  She was disappointed, but she agreed. They sat in silence for a little while. “What are you and Kevin doing tomorrow?"

  "Tomorrow?"

  She twirled her hair around her finger and grinned. “Valentine's Day. Kevin hates Valentine's Day. He always has. He says it's a stupid waste of a holiday, but I like it."

  "I hadn't really—"

  "You have to do something. Karen said he might not be out until Saturday. Do something fun, something romantic."

  "I don't know where to—"

  She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Must I plan everything for you and Kevin? He's no better than you, and he's lived here all his life. Well, except for when he went to school, but that doesn't count."

  He chewed his lip. “What do you suggest?"

  "Well...” A wicked grin touched her lips. “I'll stay here in case Kevin wakes up if you wanted to go shopping. A card, a little gift, that sort of thing. He may or may not return the favor."

  He grabbed his coat. “I feel like I'm being blackmailed, or set up. I'm not sure which."

  She slid the office chair back to the desk where Thumper gave her an evil look from his perch on top of the monitor. “Mind if I surf?"

  "What?"

  She pointed to the computer. “Surf. You do have Internet, don't you?"

  "Yes, but—"

  "Good. I'll take care of everything. Nicki knows best."

  He gave up trying to reason with her and left, unsure what to buy or where to get it. He ended up wandering up the street, staring into windows. He meandered through a few of the little shops and ended up at the bookstore, browsing through shelves of books without really looking. He found the corner where he'd first met Kevin and marveled that their first meeting had been such a short time ago. He'd been through so much with Kevin in a short time that he felt like he'd known him forever. He sat down on the bench and stared at the magazine racks in front of him. Maybe he could get Kevin a book, something he wouldn't think to buy for himself, something about dance perhaps.

  "Don't let Nicki plan your whole day tomorrow."

  Connor started and looked up to find Mark straightening the magazines. “She called to tell me I should shoo you out of here if you ended up here. She said she was working on a surprise. She thought Kevin deserved a surprise."

  "I don't think Kevin likes surprises."

  Mark laughed. “He'll like this one. Talk him out of going to work tomorrow. I don't think he'll be able to concentrate, and he could use the rest. He'll claim he's fine, but one more day isn't going to hurt him."

  "I'll try."

  Mark nodded and started to walk away, but he turned back. “Kevin likes chocolate, sappy movies, and dancing. I'm afraid most of his other hobbies have fallen to the side. He used to dabble in photography, but Josh kept his camera and equipment. He never replaced them. Now it's mostly writing and reading, movies, and dance. He tries to tell everyone he's out of practice, but none of us believe him. He doesn't like things as much as he likes sentiment. The sappier it is, the better he'll like it."

  "How do you know him so well? He seems like a private person."

  Mark shrugged. “Yes and no. He's more private now, but that wasn't always the case. He used to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he had no qualms about kissing and telling. Josh ruined that part of his personality. He retreated into a shell, and he only comes out once in a while. He used to be active in the community. He used to dance with a local company. He used to do volunteer work with a local group for at risk kids. He started a dance program with that group, and he loved the work. We kept encouraging him to do something with it full time, and he kept refusing. He used to be a regular at one of the dance clubs. He was enough of a regular that everyone knew him, and he's popular enough that when the nature of his relationship with Josh came out, Josh was shunned.” He moved a little closer and lowered his voice. “And I can tell you that the scene Kevin played wouldn't let Josh play anymore. He wasn't welcome at parties, or even on fetish nights at clubs. They warn people looking to stay away from him."

  Connor swallowed hard. Kevin had said all of that was his past. “Kevin says—"

  Mark's voice was still soft and low. “It's still a turn on for him, even if he doesn't want it right now. Get rid of Josh, and then wait and see. I don't think he'll ever play seriously again, but he'll still like aspects of it. He has a naughty boy streak. Just remember that."

  "Is that a warning?"

  Mark laughed and shook his head. “Not really. I'm only stating fact. I've seen him lead a boy around and play the master. I've seen him kneel at a master's feet. He still admires Devon Lancaster. They had a thing for a little while before he met Josh, although they're just friends now, I think.” He shrugged. “Perhaps a little more than friends."

  "What does that mean?"

  Mark sighed. “They've known each other a long time, and Devon's helped Kevin through some really rough patches. That's all. They had their fling, and that's all it was, a fling. Friends with benefits I suppose you could call it, but that's over. Devon has someone else, and they've been together for several years."

  "Kevin only mentions him in passing. But Nicki talks about him. I thought I'd met Kevin's close friends."

  Mark's lips pressed into a thin line, and he shook his head. “You'll meet Devon, eventually. If you ask, Kevin might tell you about him. Kevin has stayed distant with Devon the last couple of years. They talk on the phone, but not in person."

  Connor rubbed his eyes and tried to remember what his purpose in coming to the bookstore had been. He was supposed to be finding Kevin a present. Instead, he was finding out more about him. “Why? Did they have a disagreement?"

  Mark shook his head. “Kevin's afraid of him, just like he was afraid of you at first, and he was afraid of me and Scott, and he's afraid of most men in positions of authority."

  Connor remembered how Kevin had avoided his eyes for the longest time, and only in the last few days had he really grown comfortable with eye contact. “That's why he wouldn't look at me."

  Mark nodded and sat down on the bench beside him. “Josh trained him to keep his eyes down in the presence of another Dom. He does pretty good most of the time. He's gotten so he'll look at me now, but that took time."

  "So Devon—"

  "Respects his distance. He offers advice over the phone. Kevin has a standing invitation to stay with him if he chooses to use it. Keith will sometimes stay with Kevin when he's alone and scared.” Mark left the bench and went back to his magazines. “Remember, the sappier the better, and don't let Nicki plan the whole day."

  "Thanks, I think.” He left the bookstore and went back to his flat to find Nicki playing some sort of game on his computer. Kevin was still asleep.

  "What have you got planned?"

  She smiled but didn't answer. “You'll find out soon enough. What time is it? I'm starving."

  "Four o'clock. Go get something. I'll do some work."

  He sat down at the computer and managed to engross himself in work. The arms sliding around his neck much later startled him so much that he bit his tongue, and he yelped at a playful nip on his earlobe.

  "If you're planning something for tomorrow, you should know I have always hated Valentine's Day.” Kevin switched sides and nipped the other ear. “Don't let Nicki plan everything for tomorrow either. We'll end up in a B&B somewhere with roses, champagne, and violins. She'll pack nothing but fluffy towels, robes, condoms and lube and send us on our merry way so we can fuck like bunnies."

  Connor put his hands over Kevin's. “You have a way with words, did you know that?"

  "I do try. You didn't let Nicki make plans, did you? I had some of my own."

  Connor let out a rueful sigh. “She's got something up her sleeve. I'm sorry. What sort of plans?"

  Kevin laughed softly, and the vibratio
n against Connor's ear sent chills down his back. “You'll like it. It's a surprise, though not a Valentine's surprise, but I suppose I can work it around whatever she's cooked up.” He sighed. “Don't ever fall for that line that women don't like sex. They do. They just aren't as vocal about it."

  Connor slid his hands up the arms around his neck. “Karen came by earlier to check on you."

  "Is he out already?” Kevin rested his chin on the top of Connor's head.

  "No, not yet. She thinks tomorrow or Saturday. She also thinks you should move, leave the area."

  "Mark suggested that. I don't want to. This is my home. I like it here. I'm not going to move."

  Connor started to protest, but Kevin cut him off.

  "It feels like running away. I've done nothing wrong. Why should I have to dig up my roots and start over somewhere else?"

  "You shouldn't.” He raised one of Kevin's hands to his lips. “You shouldn't have to."

  "Then no more trying to talk me into that.” Kevin traced the outline of Connor's ear with his tongue, and the sensation sent a jolt of fire straight to Connor's core. Kevin laughed and did the same with the other ear.

  "Are you teasing again?"

  "I'm hungry,” he purred. “I didn't get to finish my breakfast. I spent lunch at the hospital, and I'm ready for dinner."

  Connor swallowed hard. “What did you have in mind?"

  "You, naked, but I'll save that for dessert.” Another laugh trilled in his ear.

  The soft moan slipped out as Connor considered the possibilities of such a dessert. “And what did you want for dinner?"

  "There's a take out place just up from here. Nothing spicy. I don't like spicy food, but beef and broccoli perhaps."

  "You aren't coming with me?"

  Kevin's lips brushed over the nape of his neck. Chills danced down his spine. “Darling, I'm a big boy. You can leave me alone long enough to get food.” The lips brushed along the back of his neck again, and the tongue skirted the edge of an earlobe. Connor shivered. “I like to make you shiver."

  "I know you do.” He swallowed again, unable to bring any moisture to his mouth and sorely tempted to drag Kevin into the bedroom and forget about dinner. “I'll get you something to eat."

  "I don't like fried rice either, only plain. Very vanilla of me, isn't it?"

  "I don't think that word applies to you."

  The lips had returned to his neck, and Kevin's hand's plucked at his shirt, teasing his nipples through the fabric. “Are you hard?” he whispered against Connor's ear.

  "Unfortunately.” He shivered again at the purring laughter.

  "I'm going to take a shower while you're gone, and I'll be nice and clean when you get back.” Kevin's voice was soft, seductive, and arousing. “You can think about that on the walk there. Me in the shower all soapy and..."

  "Tease.” Connor gasped. “God, you're a tease."

  "And you love me for it,” he whispered and moved around so he could kiss Connor's lips. “Nu-uh.” Kevin pulled away when Connor laid his hands on the slim hips. “No touching me until later. Go get the food, and I might let you feed me."

  Connor laughed. “You might?"

  "I might decide to feed you instead.” Kevin danced away and made shooing motions. “Go on. I'll be very good while you're gone. I'll lock the door and not answer it."

  "Nicki's supposed to come back."

  "I can take care of Nicki when she gets here, and I'll tell her that I don't need help making plans. I had some of my own.” Kevin shrugged, and a wicked grin touched his lips. “Although my plans involved you naked and chocolate body paint."

  Connor shivered again. “You'd do that, too.” Kevin's playful nature was infectious, and he couldn't resist smiling. “And then you'd lick it off with that wicked little tongue of yours."

  "Damn right.” He shooed Connor toward the door again. “Go. I'll die of starvation before you ever get back."

  Connor sighed and picked up his coat, glad it was long enough to hide his erection. “I'll lock the door behind me.” Kevin was still standing in front of the bedroom door when Connor stepped outside and locked the door on his way down the stairs. The ache in his groin was almost enough to make him rush back inside to Kevin, who was no doubt watching from the window. He trotted down the stairs and looked up, shaking his head when he saw the shade move. Kevin might be younger, but it seemed he had enough experience and imagination for them both.

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  Chapter Fifteen

  He showered and brushed his teeth twice, but he still felt dirty, and he couldn't quite get the taste of nicotine and sour mouth off his lips. Connor hadn't returned yet when he finished his shower, so he curled up in the chair, wrapped in the dark green bathrobe that had been hanging on the bathroom door. It was much too large for him, but it was soft and warm and smelled like aftershave and musk. He settled with his laptop, intending to finish his story so he could give it to Connor the next day, but he couldn't concentrate. The phone rang once. He let the machine pick up. It rang again a few minutes later. And a few minutes after that, someone knocked on the door. He looked up, a little frightened, but he didn't leave the chair. Whoever had knocked left without trying again, and Kevin breathed a little easier.

  He made one phone call, telling Dave not to pick him up in the morning. He was still on the phone when Connor unlocked the door and came in, the scent of Chinese carrying in his wake.

  "I'm fine,” he told Dave for the fifth time. “I'm fine. I'm safe, and my supper just arrived.” He laughed. “My dessert carried it in for me."

  Dave's laughter made him pull the phone away from his ear. “Don't wear him out, chico."

  "I'll try.” He hung up and smiled at Connor. “Dave. He got my phone. He said they didn't like cash, but they took it eventually. I told him not to pick me up tomorrow. I'll call Cheryl in the morning.” Kevin pointed to the machine. “You've got messages, and someone knocked on the door. I didn't answer it."

  Connor put the bag of food on the desk and took off his coat, tossing it over the back of his office chair. A smile tugged at his lips, but he hadn't quite given into the temptation. “Make yourself at home.” He pointed to the bathrobe.

  Kevin stiffened and lowered his eyes. Fear gnawed at his belly. He should have asked first. He should have told Connor he'd run out of clothes. “I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd mind. I—"

  Connor was beside him a moment later. “I don't mind, sweetheart. Not at all.” His fingers were in Kevin's hair, and he pressed his lips to his forehead. “I was only teasing."

  "I didn't have anything else to wear. I wasn't thinking when I packed.” He still hadn't met Connor's eyes.

  "Then tomorrow we'll get you some more things. Do you want to look for a new place tomorrow?"

  Kevin nodded a little.

  "Then we'll do that."

  Kevin slowly relaxed. “Scott's home tomorrow, if you wanted to get your furniture. We need to get you a couch, or at least a loveseat."

  Connor kissed his forehead again.

  "You aren't angry?"

  "I'm not angry,” Connor said softly. “I never wear that damned robe anyway. It was a gift from my sister."

  "I like it.” He laid his head on Connor's shoulder, the giddiness he'd been feeling off and on all day returned. “You have a sister?"

  "And three brothers. My family's Catholic. I'll bet one of those messages is from my dad because I haven't called him back. And Nicki knocked on the door. She called me, and then yelled at me for leaving you alone."

  "I'm not totally defenseless."

  "Did you ever consider taking a self-defense class?"

  "No."

  "Maybe you should.” Connor combed his hair with his fingers. “Are you ready to eat?"

  The mischief returned. “Can I have dessert first?"

  Connor laughed. “I don't think so. You need to eat. There's some plates and silverware in the kitchen, and grab something to drink. Pop or tea is all I ha
ve. You drank all of my beer."

  Connor played his messages while Kevin got the dishes and two bottles of Coke. He could hear the machine. “Connor, this is Dad. When you didn't call back, I worried. I just wanted to see if everything's okay.” The machine beeped, and Kevin returned to the living room, making a makeshift table out of the milk crates. The next message played. “Connor?” It was a woman's voice, and Kevin looked up.

  "My mum,” Connor explained.

  "I know Dad called you, but I just had this feeling that something happened. Give us a call back as soon as you can."

  Connor smiled and deleted the message. “Do you mind?"

  Kevin shook his head and pulled out the little tubs of Chinese food. Connor had gotten crab Rangoon, and Kevin put a couple on his plate.

  Connor pointed. “I get to feed you those."

  "I love these.” He filled his plate with plain, white rice and beef and broccoli, while Connor called his parents. He peeked in the other cartons, or tried to, but Connor slapped his hand away.

  "Stop that. You may be ravenous, but you can wait to see what else I got."

  Kevin sighed, pretending to be exasperated. “I was only—"

  Connor waved him to silence when his call was answered. “Hi, Mum. It's been an interesting day.” Kevin watched Connor's expression, wishing he could hear what his mom was saying. “No one's been hurt. No, Mum, I'm fine. He's here. We were just having something to eat.” Kevin took a bite of his rice and Connor grimaced. “How can you eat that with nothing on it?” He pointed to the rice. “It tastes like paste."

  "I like it.” Kevin shrugged. “Old habit."

  "He eats plain, white rice from the Chinese place. No sauce or anything.” Connor laughed. “She wants to know if something's wrong with your taster. She agrees with me."

  Kevin smiled, liking the way Connor had included him in the conversation. “Back when I was a serious dancer, plain, white rice was a favorite meal. You can eat a lot of it, and it doesn't have many calories."

  Connor stared at him. “It's some weird dancer hang-up.” He pointed to the plate. “Eat something besides that."