Wartime Blues for the Harpers Girls

by Rosie Clarke

  Colin looked up at her. ‘Yet you married me – and you gave me that gift. You are a wonderful, unselfish woman, Maggie.’

  ‘I care for you, Colin, I really do,’ Maggie said softly. ‘I didn’t marry you for money or a home but because I want to make you happy.’

  ‘I’m not sure I can ever be completely happy again,’ he told her. ‘But I will try – I promise I’ll try. You’ve given me so much, you deserve more than a moody devil as a husband.’

  ‘I rather like him,’ Maggie said with a twinkle in her eye. ‘You shocked me out of my apathy with your anger. I had nothing when we met, Colin, and you made me come back to life.’

  He looked at her strangely. ‘I like you, Maggie,’ he said at long last. ‘I think I might learn to love you – if I could just give you the kind of pleasure you gave me.’

  He sounded so wistful that she laughed. ‘I’m sure we can find a way, Colin. I can suggest something right now…’

  A gleam came into his eyes and she saw a surge of new life and knew she had found the way to reach the man inside. She would teach him what she liked, what made her feel nice, and she would start a regime of exercise to build up his strength, regain the muscle he’d lost, but she wouldn’t tell him yet that his legs had moved when he’d found his release. She couldn’t be sure, but she’d noticed his right foot moving a few times before then and she had a plan. Perhaps nothing would come of it, but Sister Mayhew had told her once that sometimes men would believe they couldn’t do something when, in reality, they might be able to if they tried.

  ‘Even the worst injuries get better and sometimes movement will come back when a man seems paralysed, but at times their mental attitude stops it happening. Exercise and belief will often do what overworked doctors consider an impossibility. Nurses can do wonders now and then, Maggie.’ The nerves in Colin’s spine had been crushed and damaged, but, although it would be a long job and would need patience, prayer and love, perhaps they could recover enough for him to have some movement, though walking was perhaps too much to hope for.

  Maggie would do whatever she could. Perhaps he would never walk again, but he might recover enough movement to ease himself into bed and to push his body closer to hers. Even a small improvement might give him a reason for hope and – as she’d so often witnessed in France – miracles could happen. Maggie had a lifetime to achieve it and she would devote all her time and energy to making him live again, even if he was still confined to the wheelchair. Before their marriage he’d been breathing but not alive – now she could see that he was beginning to truly live as he ought.

  30

  Marco stiffened as he saw the man walk into his office at Harpers. He’d almost forgotten his time in France. Settled at Harpers again with his friends and his wife and child at home, Marco had found a kind of happiness. Sadie was a good cook and a good mother to the little boy they both loved. He’d discovered she had a sense of humour that he enjoyed and he liked her open honesty. Life was as good as he could expect and the intrusion of the man who had first recruited him to the body of spies made his spine prickle with cold. The Major had not come here for fun.

  Marco felt anger and hostility as he saw that his superior officer wanted something of him – something he no longer felt like giving. He’d had enough of the war and he wanted to stop here at Harpers and to watch his adopted son grow up.

  ‘You’re wondering why I’m here,’ Major Bryant said. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I realised those fools at Head Office had stood you down, Marco. Half of them seem to think the war is almost over just because our American friends have joined in, but even when we’ve beaten the enemy – if we do! – we’ll still have need of men like you. You did a good job over there – and now I want you to do something a little more difficult for us.’

  For once Marco was in agreement with him. Many people seemed to think the war almost over just because the enemy had been pushed back and there had been victories for the Allies, but Marco was certain they were not beaten yet. If he was needed in France again, it would give him a chance to discover what had happened to Marie and her family after he’d left. Yet a part of him was angry at the way he and his French friends had been treated.

  ‘You want me to go back out there? After people were killed in reprisal for getting me out? Surely you’ve got plenty of other fools to do your dirty work?’

  ‘Angry at the way you were treated when you got back? I don’t blame you – I was furious when I discovered they’d wasted your talents. Surely, you still want to protect your country? I heard that you had a wife and child now – you must want to keep them safe?’

  ‘The war is over for them,’ Marco said. ‘The Germans aren’t strong enough to invade us now. The papers are sure of it and I believe the tide may be turning in our favour, though there is a long way to go still. Germany had a huge advantage in the early stages, but they’ve fought a hard campaign; they’re running out of steam, and in time we shall overcome them, but I am willing to go back if I can help shorten the war…’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Major Bryant replied, ‘but I don’t want you to return to France or to Germany. I want you to go to Russia… that is where we expect trouble in the future.’

  ‘What possible use could I have in Russia?’ Marco exclaimed, shocked and horrified. ‘I don’t speak the language. No, I’m sorry. I won’t go on a wild goose chase.’

  ‘You speak French well,’ Major Bryant said. ‘All I’m asking is for a little information on what is going on out there. It is like a powder keg ready to explode since the Czar abdicated and the Russians took a beating back in June. They are a volatile lot and something is going on more than a takeover by the Bolsheviks. Lenin could be a tricky customer. We need to know if we should plan an intervention.’

  ‘What do you imagine they would tell me?’ Marco looked at him sardonically. ‘No, find someone else, sir. I’m not putting my head in the fire for no good reason.’

  ‘You would disobey an order? I could have you shot for that!’

  ‘Then you’ll just have to shoot me. Send me back to France, let me fight on the front line, if you wish, but Russia – no! I could not help you there.’

  ‘You underestimate yourself. As a Frenchman seeking a new life buying Russian works of art and selling wine, you have a perfect alibi. You know plenty about French wine and I dare say you know a bit about art – it doesn’t matter if they cheat you. You will learn more if they think they’re getting the best of the bargain.’

  Marco hesitated for one second, almost tempted, but then he shook his head. ‘I was discharged from the service, sir. I’m sorry. I can’t help you.’

  ‘Lost your balls out there, did you? Not that you ever had much to lose…’ The sneer in the officer’s voice nearly made Marco lose his temper. A year ago, he would probably have responded to the man’s goading and said he would go, but he’d had enough of bloodshed and subterfuge – and the innocent casualties of these games of chance.

  ‘I’m sorry, I can’t help you,’ Marco said resolutely. ‘I’m still a soldier – and you can send me to fight if you choose. I shan’t refuse to go, but I won’t play your games.’

  Major Bryant nodded, his sneer intensifying. ‘I always wondered if you really had the guts for it. You’re a disgrace to the service…’ With that he turned and walked out of the office, leaving Marco breathing deeply to calm his anger.

  The man was a pig, no better than the men who had tortured the German soldier, Kurt Shultz in France, when it was discovered that he’d passed information to Marco. You found them in all nationalities. Marco was glad he’d had the strength to refuse, despite the goading and the insults. Let the man believe he was a coward if he chose. Marco would pick up a gun and fight if given the opportunity, but he no longer wished to run the risk of being a spy. Spies needed safe houses and contacts and those people were vulnerable; they were often the ones who died, left behind to the mercy of suspicious men and tortured or killed for the information they could give.
Let Major Bryant do his worst. If they wanted to court-martial him, they could. He had no intention of entering Russia as a spy; to Major Bryant he was expendable, but Sadie relied on him to help her bring up little Pierre and Sally Harper swore he was invaluable to her. Marco had joined up to fight as a soldier and he was perfectly willing to fight on the front line. Secret missions were always a matter of choice. No soldier could be forced to undertake such a mission if he did not wish it.

  He smiled as he decided that he would take Sadie some flowers that evening and a box of chocolates. It would show her that he appreciated her, that he was glad they had married. Theirs might not be a conventional marriage, but that was not always necessary for happiness.

  Sadie had told him that Maggie Gibbs had married a soldier confined to a wheelchair. She’d had a letter and now believed that her friend was happy in her marriage. Marco hoped that Sadie was too. He had found contentment in the arrangement and that evening he would ask her if she was content in her life with him. He would not ask if she was happy. Marco knew that Sadie still loved Pierre; she always would, just as he would never forget Julien, the lover he had lost so tragically – but life was not over. He had a wife who looked after him and a son and the perfect job. One day he might meet someone who made him want more but for the moment he was satisfied.

  Sadie had been shopping. She enjoyed shopping and Marco always gave her sufficient money for the housekeeping and her own needs, as well as Pierre’s. He was a generous man and her life was comfortable, if a bit boring at times.

  Sadie had been home to her parents, by herself, and with Marco and Pierre. Her parents had welcomed her and believed that Pierre was her husband’s son. She hadn’t told them any different and she knew they thought she’d done well for herself – and of course, she had. She knew that if Marco hadn’t offered her marriage, she would have had to take menial jobs scrubbing or perhaps washing up all day long to make ends meet. As it was, she had nice clothes, a family who was always pleased to see her – and the prospect of a return to nursing once Pierre was at school. They had agreed she would wait until then, to give her son a good start in life. Marco thought he needed his mother at home until he could spend most of his day at school. Sadie didn’t mind; she loved Pierre and wanted to look after him and Marco had made it easy for her – but she did sometimes get a little bored with the long days when Marco was at work and her household tasks were done.

  ‘It is an interesting window…’ the voice from just behind her made Sadie turn in surprise. A young man in the uniform of an Army corporal was standing just behind her looking at the Harpers’ window. She’d come to see it because Marco had told her she would like it and she did – it was a scene of nurses and soldiers enjoying a break in a barn after the grape harvesting was done and the wine barrels were stacked. The models were meant to be enjoying a drink with the French farmers and it came with the words: A toast to our French friends!

  ‘It’s very like…’ the soldier went on with a smile. ‘It makes you feel you are back out there with them – a friendly bunch where I was stationed for six months.’

  Sadie knew she ought to say something about the window having been dressed and designed by her husband, but she kept that fact to herself. ‘Have you been home long?’ she asked.

  ‘A few weeks. I caught one in my leg. They say it will be a good barometer when the weather changes,’ he said ruefully. ‘I shall probably always walk with a limp, but I’m still alive – a lot of the poor devils aren’t…’

  ‘I know,’ she replied. ‘I did some nursing with the VADs – more than a year before I had my son.’

  The soldier glanced at Pierre. ‘He’s a fine lad. His father must be proud of him.’

  Without thinking, Sadie said, ‘His father was killed out there. He was a French partisan.’

  As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. Marco was Pierre’s father and her husband. She’d made it sound as if she were a widow and free and she’d seen the flash of renewed interest in the soldier’s eyes.

  ‘Shame…’ he said and glanced at the wristwatch he wore, something that had become popular during the war. Soldiers didn’t have time to take out a pocket watch, though many still carried them, because they’d been known to stop a bullet. ‘Would you care to have a cup of tea somewhere – just to talk?’

  She was tempted, so tempted to say yes because he was attractive and it would have been nice, but Marco had been good to her and she cared enough about their marriage to know she must not betray him, even in thought. ‘I have to go in here now – excuse me.’

  Pushing open the door, she took Pierre’s hand and walked inside the expensive store. Sadie could never have dreamed of buying very much from a store like this before she was married to Marco. The very fact that she could actually buy something here if she wished was because he was so generous – and Mrs Harper had given her a card so that she could use her husband’s staff discount.

  She spent half an hour looking round and saw a pen set that she eventually purchased for Marco. He had a birthday coming before Christmas and she thought he might like it, because it was a Waterman’s black and gold and as elegant a pen as she’d seen.

  When she left, the soldier had gone and Sadie gave a sigh of relief. She had come close to going for a cup of tea with him. In itself that was nothing, but it could lead to much more, if not this time, then the next she gave in to her weakness. She’d vowed to herself when she’d married Marco that she would not let him down and she knew she had a good life. Had Pierre lived it would have been a very different life as his wife, but she’d made her choice and she would stick to it despite the temptation. That soldier had not been the first to speak to her and it was likely that he would not be the last – but he was the one who had tempted her most. And she didn’t even know his name…

  When Marco gave her flowers and chocolates that evening, Sadie’s eyes watered a little. She was so glad she hadn’t given into the temptation of a little flirtation. Harmless or not, it would still have been a betrayal of this good man who was her husband.

  ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ she asked and smiled, giving him a swift peck on the cheek.

  ‘Just being you,’ Marco said and gave her a look that was warm and appreciative. ‘You never complain and we haven’t been anywhere much. With me so often working later in the evenings, you must get bored. I was thinking we might arrange some babysitting so I can take you to the theatre or dinner sometimes. You deserve that, Sadie – and if you wanted a nurse for Pierre so that you could do a shift in the hospital some mornings, I’d be glad to pay for it.’

  ‘You spoil me,’ Sadie told him, relief that she hadn’t given in to that brief temptation flooding through her. ‘You are a lovely man, Marco. I shall enjoy a few trips to the theatre or to dine out. As for working, I think there is a woman who lives near here who would look after Pierre for a few hours now and then – she is a widow and very friendly, and I imagine she might like to earn a little money.’

  ‘No doubt,’ he agreed, then frowned. ‘There are a lot of widows who must be lonely – you should make friends with people if you can.’

  Sadie nodded. ‘I came to Harpers today and had a look round. A lot of people were admiring that window you told me of – I loved it, Marco. It reminded me of Marie’s barn.’

  ‘Good,’ he said. ‘I’ve been thinking of her and Maman and wondering how they fared after we left…’

  ‘Oh, I should have told you,’ Sadie said and smiled. ‘I had a letter from Marie when I got home from visiting Maggie. She told me that they are staying with friends in the South of France, well away from the front line and had helped with their wine harvest. The group got them away in time, though she knows that they despoiled her house and her outbuildings. She says that after the war, she will return and rebuild her life there – and she asked after you, said she hoped we were both happy and well and wants us to take Pierre for a visit when this is all over.’

  ‘That is wonde
rful news and a relief,’ Marco told her honestly. ‘I have been anxious for them and I know you’ve thought of them a lot.’ His eyes were warm as they rested on her. ‘After the war, we’ll take Pierre and visit, Sadie. It is right he knows his true father’s heritage.’

  Sadie was silent for a moment, then, ‘You are Pierre’s father, Marco. He adores you and you are so good with him. He loves it when we go to the park and you push him on the swings.’

  ‘I love him as much as I would my own flesh and blood,’ Marco told her. ‘I didn’t expect to have a family or a child – and that is a wonderful gift, Sadie, but I do worry about you.’ His smile faded. ‘I know you gave up a lot when you wed me. Even if I tried to be a conventional husband, it would probably leave you wanting more. I’m sorry I can’t give you that kind of love – though I do love you as a friend and as Pierre’s mother…’

  Sadie turned her face aside as the tears stung. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said. ‘I don’t need that.’

  ‘Not yet perhaps,’ Marco said gently, ‘but one day you will.’ He hesitated then, ‘One day there may be a man you want to make love to you. If you wanted it too, I wouldn’t blame you.’

  ‘I couldn’t just walk out on you! You are Pierre’s daddy and it would break his heart.’

  Marco turned her gently to look at him. ‘You wouldn’t have to, dearest Sadie, nor would I wish it. What I am saying is that if you wish for a discreet affair, then I should not deny you nor blame you.’

  ‘Oh, Marco,’ she choked. ‘Why…’ She left the rest unsaid. Marco was as he was and she’d known it when they married. If she sometimes wished that he could give her more, that was her own fault. She had been prepared for this, or thought she was, but he’d made her love him, slowly bit by bit, and that made her want too much. Sadie knew the reason she’d avoided temptation was because in her heart she truly loved Marco. His kindness and care for her had brought her back to life after Pierre’s death and now she wanted too much – she wanted what she could never have. What he could never give her. And, being Marco, he had just given her his blessing to have an intimate affair with another man if she wished – but it wasn’t what Sadie wanted! She lifted her head and smiled at him through the tears. ‘I’m not that fussed over sex,’ she told him. ‘Besides, I’m not over Pierre yet.’