Just an Illusion - The B Side

by D. Kelly

  “Mel is my sister in every sense of the word, so that means you are all my family now, too, like it or not.”

  They’re all laughing with her; everyone already loves Belle and she knows it.

  “Mel and I make each other face the hard truths. When I got pregnant with Cadence, she and Noah made me suck it up and tell Darren right away. And when Mel fell in love with Noah, I made her do the same. You see, for some of us, loving people and accepting their love comes as easily as breathing. And to people like Mel, it’s the scariest thing in the world to allow love into your heart. When you’ve suffered as much loss as she has, it’s easier to lock your heart up and throw away the key.

  “That’s where Noah came in. He didn’t come on strong, he didn’t try to woo her, nope. Noah’s slick like that … he tried to be her friend. Can you imagine? I knew my man Noah had a long-term game planned the first night he laid eyes on Mel. It was like he could see right into her soul. But Mel never saw it coming until it was too late. Mel fell in love with her new best friend.

  “Relationships worth anything have to have an element of friendship. Some start with chemistry, like me and Darren, and some start with a slow, simmering burn, like Noah and Mel. You see, in all my years as Mel’s best friend, she’s never really talked about marriage or family, and now she’s got both. Noah took every one of her fears and extinguished them with his love, one heartbeat at a time.

  “Noah, Mel, I’ve told you before but I’m going to say it again. You two are good together, you keep that shit up. Keep living each day like there’s no tomorrow. I love you guys. Now hurry up and bring Cadence her future husband. Cheers!”

  There was no point in trying to stop crying after Sawyer’s speech because Belle just made me a blubbering mess.

  “Shh, baby, it’s okay. Everyone just loves you a whole hell of a lot. Including me.” Noah’s husky words caress my soul as he wipes away my tears. “Dance with me, Mel, and then we’ll have cake and that will make all your tears go away.”

  No rock star wedding would be complete without a DJ, and Sawyer didn’t disappoint. Earlier, I saw Noah and the DJ with their heads together and figured he had some sort of surprise up his sleeve. He extends his hand to me and guides me to the makeshift dance floor. “Sad Song” by We the Kings begins to play. I know some people would think it’s odd, but I can’t think of a more perfect wedding song for us. I’ve surrendered all of my fears to Noah, accepting his love in exchange.

  After our dance, Noah leads me to the cake table. We cut the first cake and let Saylor come help us cut up the rest. Karen takes over once she sees Saylor’s excitement, playfully admonishing me as she ushers us away. “No cake cutting in the dress.”

  Noah, already showing his true colors as an adoring husband, makes sure to bring some of each flavor to me. There’s no way I can eat this much cake, but a bite of each is a distinct possibility.

  Saylor and Emme are the first back to the dance floor and they’re having a blast. Soon everyone is up joining them, including Noah and me. The two of us spend some time making sure to dance with everyone who wants one. By the time it’s my turn for a spin around the floor with Darren, I have a very important question to ask him.

  “How’s he doing? The truth, please.”

  “Good, Mel, he’s really okay. After Disney World, it all seemed like water under the bridge. I’m not sure, but maybe it was the rift more than you.” Neither of us believe that, but if that’s his story I can stick with it. “You made the right call last night. They both needed this.”

  “I’m so glad I realized it in time. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.”

  “Time to give my wife back, Miller,” Noah says, butting in, and Darren releases me with a smile.

  “Miss me already?”

  Noah pulls me close, singing a few bars of “You Got What I Need” by Joshua Radin in my ear. This is one of the songs on the EP he made me. “I miss you whenever you’re not in my arms, Mrs. Weston.”

  “Right back at you, Mr. Weston,” I reply, resting my head against his shoulder.

  “Would it be rude to bail on our own wedding?” he asks wistfully.

  “After all the hard work it took getting them all here?” I lift my lips to his and break away with a smile. “No, I don’t think it would be rude. We did all the stuff we’re required to, I think. Ask them. I’m sure they’ll be honest with you if leaving would be offensive.”

  “Hey, everyone!” Noah calls out, making me giggle. This isn’t what I meant, but he took me at my word. “Anyone care if Mel and I head out and get a head start on our extremely short honeymoon?”

  “Man, I’ve been sitting here for at least thirty minutes wondering why the hell you’re still here,” Wyatt yells back.

  “Right? I thought they would have bailed as soon as Mel got her cake,” Sawyer quips.

  “So, in other words, you don’t care. Great, meet us at the door if you want a hug because we’re leaving.”

  “Oh, baby girl, I’m so proud of you! I know I’ll see you before, but you better not forget to call me when you go into labor. I’m not planning on missing another grandchild making their way into the world,” Veronica gushes and then releases me from the comfort of her arms.

  “You’ll be my first call, Mama, right behind Belle.”

  Warren and Sam pull me into a group hug next. “You know,” Sam whispers conspiratorially, “I feel like a modern-day fairy godfather. My writer and Warren’s rock star are writing their own fairy tale ending.”

  “See why I married him? He’s an incurable romantic.” Warren kisses me on the cheek and releases me. “See you in a few days, Mel. Have fun and enjoy every second … you only get one honeymoon.”

  Rory pulls me into the next hug. “I feel like we didn’t get to talk at all, but I’m so happy to have you as my sister. We’ll catch up on Fourth of July, there’s so much to tell you.”

  “It’s a date.”

  “Get over here, Mel, and give me a hug before your husband swoops you off your feet.” I wrap my arms around Eli and hug him tightly. “Thank you for letting me be a part of your big day, Mel.”

  “I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I love you, Eli.”

  After making it through the line, Sawyer is last. He hugs me like a best friend, and I return it with equal force. “This was one of the best nights of my life. Thank you for letting me be here.”

  “You are exactly where you belong, Sawyer. Thank you for making it perfect.”

  “My two favorite people … Bring it in, bro,” Noah says to Sawyer and before I know it, I’m in a Weston brother hug sandwich. “I love you, Sawyer. Thank you for being my best man.”

  “Love you, too, Noah. Go enjoy your vacation. I’ll see you back on the bus in a few days.”

  With a final wave as we leave the restaurant, Mac escorts Noah and me back to the room while Ryan stays behind with the family. Once Mac clears the room, Noah sends him back to enjoy the party. Then he picks my pregnant butt up and carries me through the door and to our bed.

  “Such a romantic, Mr. Weston.”

  “Always for you, Mrs. Weston. Today was the best day of my life, Mel, and look at all the well wishes we got on my Facebook post.”

  Noah’s sudden love for Facebook is really cute, and when I see his post I get teary-eyed. It’s Belle’s photo with a caption from Noah.

  I married the absolute love of my life today. She completes me in places I never knew there was a void. Fate brought her to me but love keeps us tethered. She’s my one, my only, my Mrs. Weston. #MrandMrsWeston #BabyWestonComingSoon

  “Your friends are happy for you. I’m glad, Noah, but I think it’s time to put the phone down. We’re both wearing entirely too many articles of clothing.”

  Noah tosses the phone onto the table and turns me around to unzip my dress. “I couldn’t agree with you more, Mrs. Weston.”

  We spent all night sharing our bodies, our love, and our hopes
and dreams. It was as perfect as I can imagine any wedding night could possibly be.

  Amelia

  Present Day

  I’m exhausted; for the second day in a row I’ve written the entire day. I forgot how therapeutic writing can be, but unlike a romance novel, this one is about our lives. Plus, I miss them. They only go away one weekend a year but I still feel isolated while they’re gone.

  It’s more than that, though. I’m scared this time. What if I don’t have the right answer for him when he comes back? Will he leave me for good? I can’t imagine he would; if it were reversed, I’d never be able to make that impossible decision.

  The sky is dark and you can’t see the moon through the clouds. It’s the perfect night for a fire and cuddling, but the only thing I get to cuddle with tonight is my computer. There’s a bottle of wine mocking me from the kitchen counter. I’ve been trying to write without liquid courage today, but it’s late and I’m lonely, and I think it’s just what the doctor ordered.

  When I reach the kitchen, there’s a knock at the door. It’s late, but whoever it is had to go through Ryan already, so I answer it.

  “Mel! Sweetheart I’ve been calling you for hours. Are you okay?” Karen pulls me into a hug and releases me quickly so she can look me over.

  “I’m fine, I’ve just been distracted. Actually, I’m about to have a glass of wine. Would you like to join me?”

  With a smile, she removes her coat, “I’d love one.”

  She follows me into the kitchen, where I pour us each a glass. “Come on, let’s go sit in the living room and we can talk.”

  Her eyes roam across the boxes of notes, photos, and articles, before landing on my computer. “Looks like you’ve been busy.”

  “Well, ultimatums will do that to a person,” I reply dryly.

  “Good, maybe he should have given you one before.”

  “Karen …”

  She reaches with her free hand for mine and squeezes my fingers. “Life changes in the blink of an eye, Mel. We are all players in a rapidly changing game. But family always sticks together, sometimes in the most unconventional ways. Remember that. You’ll always be our daughter, no matter what you decide. Now, tell me what you’re doing.”

  She releases my fingers, curls her feet up under her, and settles in with her wine. I love this woman, even when she tries my patience.

  “I’m writing our story.” Her mouth drops and I shake my head. “Not their story, our story.”

  “Explain the difference.”

  “Their story is for their fans. The one with all the things they wanted the fans to know, to see how their lives were … you know, day-in-the-life-of-a-rock-star … but the real version. The crazies, the stress, the love, the fans, the media, the good and bad.”

  She sips her wine and motions for me to continue. “Our story is about us. How we met, what it was like getting to know them, intertwining our lives, and falling in love. It’s so much more than their story, it’s our lives. The good, bad, and everything in between.”

  “Well, if I were a BAD fan … which, you know … I’m not or anything … the second story you described is the one I would want to read. Because, in one form or another, everything you mentioned in the first story is out there already. People just have to search for it. But what you’re describing in the second book, that’s the true untold story … the one everyone would love to get their hands on.”

  “It’s so personal. I can’t even picture it right now. I sent it to him, though. You know they’re snowed in, right? I’m assuming that’s why you’ve been trying to reach me?”

  “They called and we talked. It was mentioned you might want someone to talk to. But I was worried when you weren’t picking up your phone.” Motherly concern fills her features and I know Karen would never lie to me anyway.

  “Anna came by last night and I lied to her. I couldn’t even tell her I was writing about us. I’m a horrible person.”

  “Amelia Weston, you are not. And no matter what guilt you carry around about what lies were told when, and to whom, you don’t have to tell anyone anything before you’re ready. Including my son. But I do believe he’s serious this time, and those are consequences you will have to face.”

  I swallow a long draw of wine and exhale. “I know. It’s why I’m doing this.”

  “You mentioned it’s personal, but would you consider letting me read it?” She looks hopeful and I know she loves me enough not to judge me.

  “Would you promise to keep it to yourself? You’d have to read it here, I don’t want it leaving the house. And Karen, there’s sex in there … maybe it’s not such a good idea.”

  With a delighted clap, she finishes her wine. “Let me text Owen I’m staying here tonight. I will keep it to myself and I’ll skip the sex. I’m all for a good romance but not when it involves my son. I’m assuming it’s a romance?”

  “It is, until it isn’t, but you already know the story.”

  She smiles lightly. “You mean it is, until it isn’t, until it is again.”

  “Well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I’ll send it to my Kindle for you. I need my computer to write. I finished the first part and sent it to him earlier. I’m almost done with the second part now, and tomorrow I’m going to wake up with the courage and determination to finish the third part if it kills me. Which it just might, hence the wine.”

  “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Mel, now get the Kindle ready for me. I’m going to go put my pajamas on.”

  Owen and Karen will probably always have a room here. Living in this house with so many people over the years hasn’t always been easy, especially when it comes to making it feel like a home instead of a house, but we’re working on that, too. One step at a time.

  When I go to my email to send the document to my Kindle I notice he emailed me about an hour ago.

  Hey,

  I read your pages and they’re incredible. All your thoughts and your feelings … How come you’ve never been able to convey them to me that way? I guess this is you doing that now. I’m proud of you for making this effort. For putting your family’s needs first. For putting your own needs first. I know you didn’t see it before, but maybe you do now. I don’t just need your answer, Mel. I need you with me in every other way. It’s time to let the past go as best we can and live for tomorrow. Please send me the next part when you’re done. I love you, and I’m so fucking proud of you.

  Before Karen finishes changing, I type out a quick reply.

  Hey,

  I miss you. I didn’t think I would miss you this much, but I do. The house is lonely without you guys, and tonight is the perfect night for wine, fire, and cuddling. Your mom is here now; thanks for sending her my way. She’s always a comfort when I’m stressed, but you already know that. Writing this book makes me feel like I’m in a dark, padded room trying to find my way to solid ground. It’s hard, so fucking hard, but the only way out is through, right? I’m working my way through for you, for me, and for us. I love you, too. Come home to me safely.

  When Karen comes back, I pour us both another glass of wine and turn on the fire. After handing her my Kindle, I settle back into the couch with my laptop.

  “Be truthful,” I tell her softly as she opens it up.

  “Aren’t I always?”

  She is, and she always has been, even when I haven’t wanted to hear it.

  Fourth of July

  I’ve decided to never be pregnant again in the summer. It’s only the beginning, but some of these Southern states we’ve gone through have been so hot and humid. Arriving home to our beach house is the biggest blessing right now.

  “I’ve got a surprise for you, Mel,” Noah announces as we walk inside. The cool air greets me like a long-lost friend. I’ll follow him anywhere as long as the air conditioner follows, too. He walks past our room to the guest room between his bedroom and Sawyer’s, flinging the door open with a flourish
.

  Inside the closed door is the most amazing nursery I’ve ever seen—whitewashed maple furniture, glider rocker, bookshelves, toys, monitor, and clothes. But the best part of all is the paintings. Each wall is painted like a scene from a Dr. Seuss book. As I move closer, I see the bookshelf is filled with a Dr. Seuss library collection, as well as other classics like Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are, and many, many more.

  “Noah, this is perfect.”

  He smiles as he takes the room in. “I saw pictures, but experiencing it in person is even better. I was going to do the paintings just like the bedding but Oh, the Places You’ll Go has some of the creepiest illustrations. So I pulled some of the happier, kid-friendly ones instead.”

  One wall has a scene from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and one has a scene from The Cat in The Hat, the third wall is from Green Eggs and Ham, and the last wall is from Oh, the Places You’ll Go.

  “Nate is going to love this room, and we’re all going to spend a lot of quality time in here. Thank you for getting this done. It’s so hard to think about it all, especially since he’ll be almost three months old by the time we get home.”

  “That’s how big Cadence is now, Mel. Look how fast it goes by and she’s not even our baby.”

  “Yes, but at least he’ll be small enough he won’t remember where he spent the first few months. I loved growing up on our bus, but I’d never want my kids to grow up on one.”

  “Where there’s love, there’s family, Mel. You didn’t turn out so bad for being raised on a bus. Not that it’s what I want for our family, but there are worse things.”

  Wanting desperately to change the subject, I lace our fingers together and pull Noah into our bedroom. “There’s something I want to show you, but I need to get off my feet.” My ankles are swollen bigger than Belle’s ever were, and I wonder if it’s the heat or if I just don’t do pregnancy well.