Just an Illusion - The B Side

by D. Kelly

  Taking a seat on the bed, I point to all the packages from the photo company. “Bring those over here and come sit with me. I want you to help me work on a project.”

  Noah’s eyes light up. I swear the word project turns him on. “What kind of project?”

  I point to the biggest box. “Open the big one first and you’ll see.” As he opens the box and pulls out the photo albums, he smiles. “When I was going through your and Sawyer’s album that day, I was reminded how nice it is to have physical pictures. So much is digital these days. I’ve been printing every picture we’ve taken along this crazy journey so far and I thought you could help me organize them into chronological order.”

  He begins opening the other packages excitedly, removing the photos and making a pile of all the boxes and wrappers. “Noah, there’s one more box on the floor by the dresser. There’s something in there you asked for once upon a time.”

  He drags the box over to our bed and lifts out a few photo albums. “Your childhood photos?”

  “They’re supposed to be. I’m not sure there’s one album dedicated to me, but there’s your glimpse into my life.”

  Noah kisses me sweetly and settles in next to me, flipping through pages.

  “Wow, look at that crazy spark between your parents. You can see their chemistry lifting off the photos. Do you think we look like that?”

  “I’m not sure. All I see when I look at us is happiness, and it’s rolled over into every aspect of our lives. If you listen to Belle, though, she’ll tell you there’s chemistry in our photos. She loves putting the kissy photos on the blog.”

  Noah laughs. “Whatever makes her happy, as long as it doesn’t make you unhappy, is a win.”

  “See, that’s what makes you the perfect husband. You care about my best friend’s feelings, too.”

  “Well, you care about my best friends as well, and I have more of them. Come on, let’s get you comfortable and we’ll start our project.”

  Noah helps me find a position and takes off my shoes. When he starts rubbing my ankles, I sigh in bliss.

  “That feels so good. You’re the best husband ever.”

  “I’m the only husband ever,” he growls, turning me on. Possessive Noah is always sexy.

  “Damn straight you are. Now let’s work on this project so you can spend the rest of the night ravishing my oh-so-sexy, pregnant body.”

  Leaning down, he kisses my belly and makes his way over the hump and to my lips. “Your pregnant body is extremely sexy, Mel. He presses his hardness against me as his tongue meets mine. Our passionate kiss leaves us both breathless—me a little more than him these days, since Nate is crowding my lungs a bit.

  After our kiss, the ever-efficient part of Noah takes over. We spend the next few hours sorting pictures and making our first two albums. One consists of mostly candid shots of the two of us and the other is everything baby, including pictures of us with Cadence, with our family, and even some wedding photos. We received the album of pictures from the wedding photographer last week; it’s still on the bus. We love looking at them when we’re on the road.

  There are some incredible pictures of the guys looking all sexied up in their suits; I want to use them in the book. But some of my favorite photos of the day are candids of Noah and Sawyer together. Even their Disney World photos had nothing on their happiness the day of our wedding. And Noah, being true to form, makes sure to leave some blank pages where he thinks it will be best to highlight the photos from our maternity photo shoot. We’re doing that tomorrow morning before our doctor’s appointment. Falling into married life with Noah has been effortless. I’m so excited to see what else our future holds.

  Noah and I have been in bed for a while. He insists on sleeping with me even if he’s not tired. My nights have become restless because I’m uncomfortable. When Noah gets out of bed and begins rustling through things, I open my eyes to see what he’s up to. I watch in fascination as he sits on the floor next to the cracked bathroom door and thumbs through the pages of my photo albums. As he looks through them, he chuckles and even releases a few groans—I bet those were caused by the photos of Eli.

  What I love best about it all is knowing Noah couldn’t wait until morning to know more about my childhood and adolescence. Nobody has ever loved me the way Noah does, but I’m going to make sure Nate knows we love him this way. Noah pulls out his phone and my phone pings with a notification. I’m sure he just updated his Facebook page again; I’m dying to see what he posted. A few minutes later, he goes into the bathroom. I reach for my phone, my curiosity getting the best of me.

  Spent the day making memory books for #BabyWeston and surprising my wife with his new nursery. So happy to be home for the Fourth, but the best part of my day so far has been watching my wife sleep while going through her childhood memory books. I wish more than anything we’d met sooner, but I’m happy to have the next fifty years of happily-wedded bliss. Fate brought her to me but it’s my job to keep her happy. It will be the best job I’ve ever had. #MrandMrsWeston

  One thing I love most about Noah is even though he knows this is going to go viral, he still posted it. He’s proud to show his love to the world, one hashtag at a time.

  As we’re leaving the doctor’s office the next day, Noah is walking on air. I’m excited I finally got to see my doctor for once and feel so much better knowing she said everything is right on schedule.

  “Did you hear her, Mel? She said he could be here any day!”

  I can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. As excited as I am to get Nate here, I’m equally terrified to deliver him.

  “She also said I could even go past my due date, and just because I’m one centimeter dilated doesn’t mean anything other than we’re getting closer.”

  The baby’s due date is still targeted for August eighth, which leaves us just over a month to go. It’s hard to believe everything that’s happened in the last year.

  “Next month, it will be a year since you came into my life. It’s been the best year I’ve ever had.” Noah’s driving but he squeezes my hand in his, letting his fingers caress my wedding rings. If my fingers get any fatter we’re going to have to cut these puppies off and try again.

  “It’s been a great year, Noah, but what about the year you guys got your record deal?”

  “First of all, you underestimate your worth if you’re even asking me that question. And secondly, that year sucked donkey balls.”

  “Noah!” I laugh. “I’ve never even heard you say that before. Why?”

  “We were eighteen, just out of school, we were idiot kids, Mel. It was exciting but it was also lonely. We were all crammed into this tiny tour bus on a shoestring budget, playing gritty clubs to see if we’d resonate with the crowds. It was only for a summer but the record company loved the response, so we went in to record the first album.”

  He looks like he’s shaking off a bad memory but eventually continues. “The constant flow of alcohol, drugs, and women was beyond anything I could have imagined. You think to yourself it will be cool to be famous and have your dream come true but the reality is more like a nightmare. I started drinking too much, and I watched Sawyer and Darren fall into drug patterns I was terrified would take them away from us for good.”

  “I’m sorry, Noah, I had no idea it had affected you so deeply.”

  He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses me reverently. “It wasn’t all bad, but it was a lot to take in and get used to. Maybe it’s why I started doing so many good deeds. I wanted to keep myself grounded. It’s also why I created the no groupie rule. I didn’t want to knock some girl up who I didn’t even know and be stuck in a bad situation for the rest of my life. Most of those girls are with a different guy every night, and while I don’t judge them for that, it’s not the kind of person I was looking for.”

  I think back to after Eli and I broke up, when I spent a good six months randomly fucking men on tour at each stop just so I could feel
something. Back then, I was one of those girls he wouldn’t have looked at twice and I’ve never told him.

  “What if I told you that was me? That I was one of those girls?” My tone is soft, and Noah senses the seriousness of this moment because he pulls the car off the road and puts on the hazard lights.

  “What are you talking about, Mel? I know you mentioned you had a history of fucking musicians, but that was a long time ago, right?”

  I’ve got his full attention so there’s no backing down now.

  “Yeah, after Eli and before my dad died. It was what I knew. That was the industry … fucking random people at each venue. For me it wasn’t all about the sex. I was looking for something I never found, something to make me feel better. It wasn’t until I was on my own I realized the only thing to make me feel better was to become a better version of myself.”

  Noah looks at me thoughtfully as he figures out what to say. “I love you, Mel, not because of who you were in the past but because of the amazing woman you are now. You were a teenager when you made those choices. The women I’m talking about were long out of their teen years. You don’t think I had my own ridiculous amount of teenage sex?”

  Noah’s a good-looking man; I’ve never doubted he lacked for women. “Would you be angry if I said I never really thought about it?”

  “Ha! No, because I don’t like thinking about you with other men, either. Especially Eli,” he says with a shudder. “But I wasn’t a saint. At one point, Sawyer and I had this … sort of competition, I guess you could call it. We were sixteen at the time and it didn’t last more than six months, but I’ll tell you, we made a lot of people extremely angry.”

  I can only imagine. “Who won?”

  He laughs. “Sawyer did. I gave up. It was clear he needed to win, and I was starting to feel bad. Before we started it, my girlfriend and I had recently broken up. Sawyer saw it as an opportunity for me to live a little. We were bastards back then, definitely deserving of the reputation. Are we okay now? Done purging our sexual regrets?”

  “Absolutely. Now take me somewhere and feed me before your son kicks his way out.”

  The Fourth of July is another big Weston family event. It’s funny how at Thanksgiving I was so nervous to meet them and now I can’t imagine my life without them. These Westons really have a way of getting under your skin.

  The entire family is taking advantage of the beach but there’s no way in hell I’m going down all those stairs. Well, going down isn’t technically the issue, it’s waddling back up. Especially if I need to pee; my bladder may not hold out long enough for me to make the climb.

  Instead, we decided to hang out on the back deck. Which quickly turned into hanging out inside where I could enjoy the air conditioning. Belle was happy to chill inside, too; she doesn’t want Cadence exposed to a lot of sun at such a young age.

  “This time next year, the babies will be big enough to take in the water,” Noah says as he bounces Cadence on his knee. She’s smiling up at him and cooing away. It’s amazing how much personality she already has.

  “Next summer we should do those mommy and daddy baby swim classes with them. If you guys are going to live this close to the ocean, our kids need to know how to swim,” Belle states.

  “Darren and I could do it, and you guys could watch us from the sidelines and talk about how adorable we are.” Noah’s teasing because he says when either he or Darren have Cadence, Belle and I look like we want to eat them alive. It’s true; there’s nothing on the planet hotter than a man taking care of a baby. Nothing.

  “Yeah, I can just picture it now. Us in the pool and Mel punching out other baby mamas because they’re eyeing up her man,” Darren quips, and I throw my pillow at him. “See? She just proved my point. This one is violent … you’d better tame her, Noah.”

  “There’s a difference between needing to be tamed and protecting what’s mine. Besides, I think Noah likes me untamed.”

  “Hell yeah I do, and I’ll show you just how much later on tonight.”

  Darren looks between Noah and me and shakes his head. “You know what’s funny? We spent years trying to get Noah laid, but he was always content to be alone and wait for the right situation. I seriously can’t imagine life without you two together.”

  “Me, either,” I say softly as Noah passes Cadence off to Belle.

  “Speaking of being together … we have some news,” Belle says as Sawyer walks in the back door.

  “Is this private news? Or does everyone get to hear?” he asks.

  Belle waves Sawyer over. “Not private at all. We’re going to announce it later, but we wanted you guys to know we’ve set a wedding date.”

  “Belle, that’s awesome! Noah, help me up so I can hug her.”

  She laughs and gives Cadence to Sawyer. “I’ll come to you … it’s quicker and easier.”

  This is a huge step for Belle; I’m so happy for her. After I practically squeeze her to death, Sawyer asks the big question. “When’s the wedding?”

  “Thanksgiving weekend. We figured everyone would be around and it would make it all the more special. Plus, the tour will be over and we’ll have had a few weeks to recover,” Belle replies.

  “Do you know where you’re going to do it yet?” Noah asks.

  “Yeah, we’re going to do it at my house. After the tour is over, we figure we should probably move in there for good and get out of your hair. We spend so much time here because of the band, but if we’re all growing up and shit, I guess I should start enjoying the house I paid for,” Darren explains.

  There are mixed emotions of happiness and sadness lingering in the air. It’s like the beginning of the end in a way. Especially since Wyatt will be heading up to San Diego after the tour as well.

  “Well, you know you guys are welcome here anytime, and your room will always be here. Sawyer and I bought this house for all of us to have as a sanctuary and that will never change,” Noah replies firmly, but he’s a little shaken. It’s another reminder we really never talked about plans for our family. Deep down inside, I know until Sawyer gets married Noah is always going to want to have his brother around. It will be good for Nate, too. There can never be too much family in a baby’s life.

  Later in the afternoon, we all gather out back for a barbecue. With Owen at the grill, all the guys surround him while drinking beer and shooting the shit. Even Eli seems to be accepted into this crazy family of theirs. Sawyer never even gave his relationship with Rory a second thought, which surprised us all.

  “How are you feeling, Mel?” Diane asks kindly.

  “Hot, tired, and fat, but ready to meet the little guy.”

  “I remember those days. The last few weeks are the hardest, but you won’t even care once he’s here.”

  “You guys are going to call as soon as you go into labor, right?” Rory’s so excited. I think she’s asked me this five times already.

  “You guys will get a call from someone, just not me. I’ll be busy birthing a watermelon.”

  “And that’s why I’m not having kids anytime soon.” Rory shudders. I try to picture her and Eli together long-term and I can’t for some reason. Hopefully, I’m wrong; they’re cute together.

  “Are you all really going to fly in for it?” I ask.

  Karen nods excitedly. “You’re back on the west coast for the most part now. No matter where you give birth, you’re just a few short hours by plane. Unless he comes in record time, we’ll make it to see him right after he arrives.”

  At dinner, Belle and Darren make their big announcement and Veronica is beside herself. Her boyfriend Marcus is here and they seem to be getting serious. It’s been over a year now that they’ve been together, so it makes sense. Belle likes him a lot, but I think she’d like anyone Veronica decided to let into her life. She’s been alone for a long time.

  Wedding chatter fills the air as their news is received by nothing but happy, smiling faces. After dinner, Noah brings
out some contraband sparklers for the girls, and they run around the yard with their flaming sticks laughing and screaming with their uncles. It’s a shame fireworks are illegal here; I bet this family would go to town with a huge display. At least they get to admire the fireworks at the beach; their house is in the perfect spot for that.

  “What are you smiling at?” Noah asks, squeezing in behind me on the lounger and wrapping his arms around my belly.

  “I was thinking about the last firework show I saw on this beach on New Year’s Eve.”

  With a groan, Noah presses his lips against my neck. “If I remember correctly, we made some better fireworks of our own that night.”

  “Mm, we sure did.”

  “I think,” he says, catching my earlobe in his teeth, “we should make some more of those fireworks tonight.”

  “Anything you want, Mr. Weston.”

  His hardness presses up against my backside, and he pulls me tighter.

  When the fireworks begin, the recently-turned-three Emme comes over and climbs up into Noah’s lap. “Look, Uncle Noah, fireworks!” she exclaims as she points to the sky.

  “Aren’t they pretty, Em?” he asks as he hugs her close. She nods, never taking her eyes off the sky. Emme sits with Noah the entire show, and Saylor spends the show sitting on the back of Sawyer’s shoulders. It seems like the sisters have picked their favorite uncles. But I think that was a given with Saylor already.

  Instead of watching the fireworks, I watch my friends and family. Anna and Wyatt, Sam and Warren, Rory and Eli, are all cuddled with their partners. Then I realize so is everyone else. There is more love in this backyard than most people see in a lifetime. It makes me proud to officially be one of their tribe.

  It’s a little before eleven when the show ends. I’m so tired all of a sudden; I’ve been yawing for about twenty minutes now.