by Michael Karp
#1 Missionary With Legs in the Air
#2 Missionary While Grabbing the Butt
#3 Receiving Partner Sideways and Penetrating Partner On Top
#4 Legs in the Air on Edge of the Bed
#5 Doggy Style With Receiving Partner Curling Towards Other Partner
#6 Doggy Style With Penetrating Partner Squatting Over
#7 From Behind With Receiving Partner Laying On Stomach
#8 Sideways Penetration From Behind
#9 Receiving Partner On Top (with variations)
Non-Penetrative-
#1 Rubbing Together of the Genitals
#2 Mutual Masturbation
Oral Sex-
#1 68-ing (variation of 69)
#2 Fellatio Variations
#3 Cunnilingus Variations
Michael’s Powerful Position-
#1 Gravity
It seems like quite a lot to juggle, but it’s not too complicated once we break it down.
If you will notice…
Numbers 1 through 4 are all with the penetrating partner on top and the receiving partner on bottom.
Numbers 5 through 8 are all with the penetrating partner coming from behind.
Number 9 contains a few variations, all with the receiving partner on top.
The non-penetrative positions are straightforward, usually with both partners lying next to each other.
The oral sex positions simply place you in the best position for both partners to be comfortable and to have access to oral stimulation.
And Gravity is straightforward.
All it takes to transition is to decide what type of position you want to get into next, then choose a variation.
For instance, say you are in #4 Legs in the Air on Edge of the Bed and you want to transition to an oral sex position. If you are the partner receiving oral sex, decide how you want to situate yourself in the room.
Let’s say you choose sitting on the bed with your partner on the floor. Simply direct your partner how you want them to be situated, position yourself, and you have successfully transitioned from one powerful position to another.
Let’s try another example. Say you want to transition from #1 Missionary With Legs in the Air to a position with the receiving partner on top. If you are the receiving partner and you want to be on top, you may direct your partner by either physically suggesting that you want them on their back or telling them that you want to be on top.
From there, you have a number of options. Do you want straddle your partner on your knees while facing them? Do you want to squat over them? Do you want to straddle them and lean backward, placing your hands on their legs for support? Do you want to face the opposite direction?
Once you have decided, you have successfully transitioned from yet another powerful position to another one. It’s deceptively simple.
The guideline:
Choose a type of position to get into next (i.e. penetrating partner on top, penetrating partner from behind, receiving partner on top, a non-penetrative position, or an oral sex position)
Choose a variation
Situate yourself in the correct position and direct your partner
You’re good to go!
If you can remember the types of positions you have available, the variations should come to you naturally while you’re having sex.
When you want to switch positions, just ask yourself, “Which type of position do I want to get into, and which variation do I want to do?”
Incorporating Sex Toys-
To recap, here are our four main types of toys:
dildos
vibrators
vibrating rings
kinky and restrictive devices
Incorporating sex toys is my second favorite thing to add to the sexual flow. It’s extremely exciting when either you or your partner spontaneously busts out a sex toy to use.
Along with getting vocal, this is another quick way to take your sex life to the next level. Just incorporating one sex toy can do the trick. Multiple, and you’re a sexual magician.
If you decide to use toys while having sex, the best thing you can do is prepare yourself. This accomplishes two things:
You won’t interrupt your flow by searching for the toy.
You know exactly which ones you have available, making it easier to transition.
How do you prepare yourself?
Choose an area where they won’t be disturbed by your activity (they won’t jostle around and move out of place) and where they can be accessed quickly and easily.
A bedside table is great for this.
Lay out your dildo(s), lube, vibrator(s), vibrating ring(s), and any kinky or restrictive devices you want to use. Try to do this before you start having sex, so they’re ready to go when you need them.
Now to transition.
A dildo can be used any time in your sexual flow. Just transition from whatever your position you’re in, grab the dildo, and you’re off to the races.
A vibrator can be slightly trickier if you want to use it in addition to intercourse. If you’re trying to avoid exiting your partner or having your partner exit, which could disrupt your flow, make sure the vibrator is within reach or being held by one partner beforehand.
For a vibrating ring, one of the best places to keep it is on your finger. You can snag it anytime, pop it on, and you’re good to go.
Kinky and restrictive devices – these are extremely fun to incorporate as well. When I am in any position, I don’t mind completely stopping, going over and grabbing a blindfold, putting it on my partner, and then proceeding after that.
You can incorporate another toy, get into a different position, go for manual stimulation or oral sex, put on a restrictive device without them knowing – whatever your mind can come up with. This is your chance to become creative.
And if you want to be constrained or have the kinky device used on you, don’t be shy about letting your partner know. Use one of the lines in the chapter on getting vocal to make your request in a hot and sexual way.
With toys, the more you use them, the more your mind will naturally work to find new ways to incorporate them into your sex life.
Getting Vocal in the Bedroom-
First off, you do not need to wait for a transition to be vocal. You can talk any time you want. However, being vocal while you’re transitioning can really enhance the transition itself.
If you are thinking about using a toy on your partner, go ahead and tell them what you’re about to do. Then do it.
If you want your partner to penetrate you a certain way, tell them the way you want them to enter you, and you two will be scrambling as fast as you can to get into that position.
If you love the way your partner tastes and you want to give them oral, tell them that, and then transition into it.
Use your words to intensify the moment. That’s what they are there for.
Getting Comfortable With Deliberate Decision Making
Whether you are the more dominant or submissive partner, it’s important to get comfortable making deliberate decisions about what you want to do in bed.
Move through your transitions with conviction. Sex only takes a standstill once the mind stops working. So keep your mind active, and make those decisions deliberately.
A Final Note on Transitioning
In its essence, the exact transition through sexual flow comes naturally depending on the partners. But having the background knowledge above should open your options immensely and give you some great ways to apply everything we have been discussing so far.
Just to clarify, do not feel like you need to follow everything I say exactly.
This is a guide to having great sex. The way you wish to have sex is ultimately up to you.
But use the knowledge in this book to find the way YOU love to have sex, and how you can make it the best experience possible for you and your partner.
Chapter 11
DEVELOPING SEXUAL INTUITION
Sexual intuition has a close relationship with The Art of the Transition. As you gain a deeper understanding of transitioning, which transitions work best, and the way you and your partner enjoy doing them, sexual intuition develops.
You don’t have to think about what to do next. You just do it.
You don’t have to think about placing toys within reach. You just do it.
You don’t have to think about what to say to your partner during sex. When the time is right, the right sentence comes out of your mouth and changes the whole dynamic.
It involves taking all of the information that has been discussed so far, applying it to your sex life, experiencing it first hand, molding it into your own unique style, and making it a habit.
You naturally progress through the sexual flow. Your creativity in the bedroom becomes natural. Your mind goes into a sexual zone where thought doesn’t have to precede action anymore.
You and your partner simply exist in the moment, letting nature take over.
It’s a beautiful thing.
How Sexual Intuition Develops
Besides applying the information in this book, sexual intuition develops a number of ways.
First, it develops through experience.
I’m guessing that 100% naturals do exist who have sexual intuition the night they lose their virginity (I was not one of them), but I’m also guessing they are a minority. For the rest of us, it’s impossible to have sexual intuition without gaining the experience that sex provides.
This is perfectly fine and totally natural. Sexual intuition is not a goal and it is not a destination. It’s a byproduct of taking an active interest in your sex life and continuously learning along the way.
It’s a byproduct of having fun, making mistakes, learning from them, and trying new things. It’s a part of the experience.
Second, it develops through communication.
Communication deepens the connection between two people. It opens the doors to each other’s desires and fantasies. Once you know these fantasies, you can learn how to tap into them in different ways.
If your partner has a fantasy of being constrained, you can tap into that physically and mentally. If they have a desire to be dominant, you can tap into that fantasy by playing the submissive role.
Third, sexual intuition develops through sexual compatibility.
We will be discussing sexual compatibility in a later chapter, but it boils down to how well your sexual desires, biology, and values fit together with your partner.
I have had partners where the sex was terrible, not because either of us was “bad” in bed, but because we weren’t compatible with each other.
I loved doing something, like pulling hair, and my partner hated it. I didn’t like something, like getting my ass slapped, and my partner loved it. Sometimes the flow was completely off. Sometimes we weren’t fully comfortable with each other and it made things awkward. This stuff happens, and it is neither partner’s fault. It simply is, and neither of you have much control over it.
But when you ARE compatible, that’s when things get interesting. That’s when sex starts to happen naturally. It progresses seemingly without any mental effort. And as you continue to experience more and more together, the sexual intuition you have with each other grows further.
The Right Way to Think About Sexual Intuition
Don’t make it your goal to “achieve” sexual intuition. You will know when you experience it.
Instead, focus on having fun, first and foremost. Then focus on the connection your have with your partner or partners. Then focus on being open minded, trying new things, experimenting, unlocking sexual fantasies and desires, and sharing this awesome experience of human connection together.
Sexual intuition is a byproduct of leading a pure sex life, one that isn’t revolved around ego fulfillment or manipulation, but around genuine caring for another person and the joy felt when giving them pleasure and receiving it yourself.
Chapter 12
MASTERING MULTITASKING
Welcome to the Tips and Tricks chapter! I know this is the one you have all been waiting for.
There is where we talk about the subtle pleasurable acts that lead to HUGE differences in the bedroom. You can do some of these just about any time during sex and some are situational, but all are fun and easy to implement.
They are:
Scratching
Ass slapping
Biting
Nibbling
Hair pulling (and hair constraining)
Breathing into their ear
More manual stimulation
Sucking
Covering their eyes
Grabbing body parts
Constraining body parts
Pretend choking
I’m calling this “Multitasking” because more often than not, you wouldn’t be doing these things without some sort of other sexual activity as well.
Usually, they are done in conjunction with something else, like fellatio, intercourse, cunnilingus, foreplay, or during a transition. So while they can be done by themselves, I feel that it’s more useful to describe them in ways that help you multitask.
Multitasking also provides extra points of stimulation other than the genitals. It creates a more total body dynamic when having sex.
You could just do missionary, but sucking on your partner’s neck at the same time, or having your partner suck on your neck, adds more to it. You could just do doggy style with your partner curling towards you, or you could do it while slapping your partner’s ass every once in a while or having your partner slap your ass.
It’s more exciting, and it’s simple to implement once you understand your options.
I multitask almost constantly. I’m almost never doing just one thing at a time. I always trying to combine the main activity with something that I know my partner enjoys (because we have talked about what each other likes and doesn’t like).
Whenever I try something new, afterwards I’ll either ask her how she felt about it, or if she beats me to it, she’ll tell me straight away.
Let’s go over some ways to implement multitasking into your sexual flow.
Scratching-
Scratching is an awesome one to try. It adds just the right amount of pain to the pleasure, and it adds a little more kinkiness.
If you are on bottom in a missionary type position, try reaching up and scratching down the entire expanse of your partner’s back. This feels good and lets them know that you’re impressed with their skills on top.
If you are the penetrating partner in a doggy style position (coming from behind), your partner’s back should be exposed in front of you. Give it a good scratch. They won’t know it’s coming, and it will send tingles down their back afterwards.
Scratching is also nice to add during foreplay when you want to heighten arousal. Or during oral sex, to give them an extra touchpoint of pleasure by scratching down the sides of their legs or arms.
However, be careful not to break the skin. (Unless you’re into that.)
Ass Slapping-
Slapping dat ass!
Ass slapping is a fun way to kink up your sex life. Doggy style positions are the best positions I have found to incorporate this multitasking technique. You can also do it during transitions as you are getting into another position or moving to oral sex.
Butts are pretty padded, so it should be able to take a good slap. This is a common one during sex, so if you don’t like it, you may want to let your partner know beforehand.
If you do like it, and you want your ass slapped, go ahead and tell your partner while having sex. They should be more than happy to satisfy that desire for you.
Biting-
By biting, I don’t mean biting so hard that you break the skin. Just like scratching or ass slapping, I suggest adding just enough pain so that it doesn’t override
the pleasure.
Some people hate being bitten (I know a few people), so proceed with caution and pay attention to how your partner reacts.
Good places to bite are the more meaty areas – thighs, shoulders, neck, arms, etc.
In general, you don’t want to do this randomly, but while your partner is being stimulated at the same time. (That’s a good rule to follow for almost all of these.)
Nibbling-
Nibbling means a slight bite with the front chompers, not an entire mouth ordeal. It’s just an extra bit of stimulation on a sensitive area.
Try the ear lobes. The ears are surprisingly sensual. You can also try nibbling on their lips and nipples.
Hair Pulling (and hair constraining)-
When hair is pulled, it stimulates the hair follicles, which can feel especially good while your genitals are being stimulated.
In general, you don’t want to pull a small amount of your partner’s hair. This will hurt. Grab a sizable chunk and give it a tug.
Don’t attempt to rip it out, but pull it enough so that there is tension on the hair follicles. Depending on the position, their head may actually bend backwards.
Hair pulling is most common during doggy style positions. You can also restrain your partner during missionary type positions by holding their hair down on the bed.
Breathing in their ear-
Don’t do this one excessively, but every once in a while it can feel really good.