“Nah, they only ever warned me not to share the nudes of other people because it’s a lawsuit I don’t want to battle.” Then, with his own mischievous tone, he adds, “Why the fuck wouldn’t I want to share pictures of my body and dick? You’ve seen them, right?”
“Eh, I’ve seen better.”
“Oooh, what a burn, baby. Didn’t know you were capable.”
“I can be nasty when I want to be.”
“I’ve experienced your tongue; I’m inclined to agree.”
I giggle but I lose it when I yawn.
“You should go to sleep, you sound tired.”
“Want me to make myself come while you listen?” I tease, sliding my hand down to my gradually moistening sex.
His breath hitches and his voice gets quiet. “For real?”
I roll my fingers over myself. “Mm-hmm. So long as you don’t laugh at me.”
“Shit, baby, this’ll be the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking experienced and I can’t relieve myself. I’ll be crying not laughing.”
I grin and close my eyes, resting the phone on the pillow by my head as both hands roll and grip below. I hook two fingers inside myself as my others continue to play with my sensitive nub.
“I’m so wet,” I breathe. “Mason, it doesn’t feel as good as you.”
“Keep talking.”
I swallow to try to stop my mouth from going dry. My breath joins the air in shallow pants as my fingers keep working me to the brink of an orgasm. “I want your dick in me so bad.”
“Fuck, Summer,” he croaks and clears his throat. “Tell me more.”
“I can smell you all over the bedsheets, it’s torture. I can’t keep still; I just want to grab you and pull you closer.” My fingers work my clit faster, the burning spreads, it’s in my feet, my ankles, my hips, my womb, my breasts. “I’m so close. So close.”
“Keep talking, Summer.”
“I wish it was your tongue, that thing you do with your tongue, fuck, it drives me wild.” I tense up, imagining him there between my thighs, gripping my hips with strong hands as he fucks me with his tongue. “I need you… Mase, I need you… So bad… I’m nearly… I’m… I’m… FUCK!”
I cry out his name as my orgasm finally hits me, making me pulse and shudder with each loud moan. The burning intensifies at its peak and then slowly ebbs away as I hold myself between my thighs.
There’s dead silence and for a moment I think Mason has disconnected the call. I’m almost too embarrassed to speak when at last I hear an uproar of clapping, whistling, cheering, and some guy saying, “I’m never getting rid of this boner.”
If I was mortified before I am fucking searing with embarrassment now.
“YOU PUT ME ON SPEAKER?” I screech at Mason. My cheeks are burning. I am so mad and humiliated.
“I didn’t mean to. By the time I realized you were already nearly done.”
“Fucking own it,” somebody in the background shouts. “That was so fucking hot.”
“Wish my wife would do that,” another grumbles.
“I am so mad right now, Mason. I am never doing that for you again.” I hang up the phone, breathing heavy and extremely aggravated. I turn it off, put it on charge and then stomp to the bathroom to wash my hands and pee.
Ugh. I can’t believe he did that!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Are you still mad?
Come on, baby, don’t ignore me. I’m sorry. It really was an accident until the last couple of minutes and then it wasn’t an accident. But you’re a fucking legend here, my brothers think I’m the luckiest SOB in the world. It’s why I won’t let you break up with me, most of them might make a play for you. You have no idea how sexy you sounded. I forbid you to move on to any of them.
I had to go bat one off over the toilet because I was still hard two hours later.
Please reply. Please forgive my accident/non-accident.
It’s been a week, baby.
* * *
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Yes, I’m still mad.
Not cool, Mase. That wasn’t okay. Accident or not. I’m still really pissed at you, but I hope you’re safe.
Don’t show my pictures to anyone or I won’t forgive you. I shouldn’t even have to ask you that!
Pregnancy update: I’m getting a slight bump and I have another sonogram in two weeks. Doctor Bala wants me to have one every three weeks because of it being a twin pregnancy. Higher risk and all that.
Can you tell in the photo? It’s only slightly bigger but it’s there.
Ten weeks pregnant and counting!
* * *
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I really am sorry. :’-(
I can see it, I can also see the point of your hip more than before, from what I can remember. You’ve lost weight. Are you okay? Is the sickness still hammering you? Are you eating enough? You still look beautiful, by the way, I’m just worried about you.
Other than that, how are things at home? Have you been decorating? Take it easy if you have and leave the building of shit to me when I get back.
My dad wants to meet you, even though I’m not on great terms with him after what he did to our family, I want you to meet him too, and my gramps and the rest of our brood. I should have introduced you to them before, so they’d take care of you while I’m gone.
Is Marie being good to you? The rest of the girls? What about Lucas?
I have to go now so if I don’t reply please know that I’m not ignoring you. We have no signal as of this afternoon. I wish I could tell you where we are and show you pictures. It’s beautiful here, if not ridiculously dangerous. A vacation destination it is not.
Keep sending me emails and pictures so I have something to look forward to when I return to base.
* * *
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Everything is fine, promise.
I know you’re sorry but that doesn’t make me any less mortified. Especially if I have to look these men in the face one day knowing they heard me orgasm. Next time I’ll say somebody else’s name at the end just to piss you off.
The girls are being amazing, even though I can tell Marie doesn’t particularly approve of our relationship, she came over yesterday and helped me scrub the apartment from top to bottom.
I start decorating next week, just a bit of paint here and there, nothing too strenuous. I can’t handle it right now anyway, I’m so sick it’s horrific. I’ve lost too much weight, Doctor Bala is keeping an eye on me but there’s not much I can do but rest and try to get food to stay down. She said I have extreme morning sickness but not to a level that’s dangerous yet. It should go away by week sixteen, but I can barely move without puking. It sucks. I have to add these little powder sachets to my water and drink constantly.
I’m never getting pregnant again after this, just so you know. These will be the last babies I ever give you.
Maya is coming tomorrow, just to keep me company and because I miss her. I am well looked after so don’t worry about that.
As for your family, it’d be nice to officially meet them too. You’ll be back at Christmas so we can see them then. If I haven’t somehow found a way to kill you for embarrassing me like that!
Be safe, Mason. Hurry home. It’s hell without you.
P.S. I’m meeting up with Chris on Sunday at Meg’s Café around the corner to discuss the divorce. I had to cancel this past Sunday… he wasn’t happy. I feel bad talking to you about it because I feel like it’s just so much baggage, but I want to be honest with you so you never question me. Despite the fact you let your “brothers” listen in to such a private moment. I’m still so mad about that, you absolute dick.
* * *
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Sub
ject: I miss you like crazy
I haven’t got time to read through all the emails you’ve sent me. I’m so grateful for them but I’ve only got a twenty-minute window of opportunity here. We are seriously roughing it at the moment. It sucks. I miss my bed but it’s what I’ve gotta do to keep my country and your future safe.
I love your photos, eleven weeks and you really are getting a belly on you. I hope the babies aren’t giving you too much grief and I don’t want to body shame you because you are absolutely gorgeous, but you look like you’ve lost even more weight. I’m worried. Please assure me you’re okay and Dr. B is taking good care of you. If you have to get a second opinion please do that.
How did things go with your ex? You can tell me about it anytime, I value your honesty because truth be told, I feel jealous that he gets to spend time with you and I don’t, and hearing that you don’t want to be near him any more than I want you to be near him is a relief. I miss you, more than I thought I would. How is it you’re on my mind all the time when, really, we hardly know each other?
Keep me updated.
I wish I could say more, I wish I could read more, but my time is running out.
Stay safe, sane, and well, Summer.
I’ll be home before you know it.
The intense nausea is subsiding, I am officially fourteen weeks pregnant now and I look massive. Well I’m a good couple of inches bigger around the middle than I was. Which is problematic because I didn’t want to tell my parents until Mason gets back at Christmas.
They’re going to flip, I just know it. Luckily, I won’t be seeing them for a while because I keep coming up with lies and excuses to stop them visiting.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” I say to my soon-to-be ex-husband. He stands as I approach and hugs me.
We are officially going through our divorce and to say that it is amicable this far would be an understatement. Chris, despite our odds, has been a dream. Marie thinks it’s so I don’t get angry with him and try to take him for half of everything but I think he’s just being nice.
He calls me every other day, texts me daily to check in, and it hasn’t been weird either. I think I’ve finally convinced him that the babies aren’t his after a couple of conversations about it, although he doesn’t know yet that I’m having twins.
Maya and Olivia do.
Olivia who came to see me yesterday with another bag for me. She’s so nice and she has bad taste in handbags because she doesn’t use the ones she gives me and they’re divine.
He kisses my cheek and we sit at the small round table; he’s really working hard on his body right now, his arms seem bulkier, stronger. “How are you?”
“I’m good, loads better, not puking nearly as much. But I started crying at a picture of penguins last night.”
“Were they dying?”
I shake my head. “No, they were just really cute.”
He chuckles and smiles at me, showing his near-perfect teeth. It feels weird sitting across from him like this. It’s the second time we’ve met up since Mason left. I feel like it’s inappropriate which is backwards because Chris is technically still my husband and Mason and I don’t really have a label yet.
“So, shall we get down to business?” I ask and he nods with pinched lips and a crease to his eyes that tells of his stress. “So, you can like keep the house and everything. I’m not about to take that from you after what I did. But…” I chew on my lip and eye him cautiously. This will be the first time I’ve broached the subject of belongings. I’ve assured him there’s nothing I want that isn’t mine during previous conversations, but I figured this particular thing should be discussed face to face.
“But…?” He elongates the word, a smile still on his face.
I bite on my lip for a moment and then let it ping free. “I really want the bedroom set. That’s all I want.” I rush the words, they leave my lips in a short stream of jumbled words but I know that he understood what I said.
His face falls flat, his eyes lose the happy spark in them that was there a moment ago. Oh dear.
I ramble, “It was a very expensive gift from my parents to us and you know how much I love that set. It took me weeks to choose it.”
His hands clench on the table, his biceps bulge from the strength of it. Luckily the barista chooses this moment to bring the drinks Chris ordered before I arrived.
I take my iced coffee and sip its sweetness with a happy sigh.
He glares at his drink, a black coffee, not his usual choice. I don’t know how people can drink hot drinks in this weather. Ugh. Too warm.
When my lips release the straw, I lick them clean and try for a smile. He doesn’t look up at me, not even for a second. Not until I start speaking.
“If that’s okay? Just the bed frame, the drawers, the box shelves that are in the closet and the nightstands.”
His lips twist up with a sneer that I can tell he’s fighting against, but the smile that he tries to cover it with only make his teeth shine in a menacing way. “Let me get this straight…”
Oh dear.
He closes his eyes to compose himself but when they reopen, they’re even more fiery than before. The blue irises are almost electric. “You want to take our marital bedroom to the apartment of the man you left me for?”
Yep. Knew this would happen. “When you say it aloud it sounds weird but…”
“Truth be told, Summer, I’d rather burn it than give it to you knowing that’s where he’s fucking you every night.”
I blanche, I didn’t expect that, nor did I expect the bitterness to his tone that it came on. A naïve error. I got comfortable in our easy, friendly conversations and forgot for a moment that he low-key hates me right now.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even brought it up.” I don’t want to cause a rift, not while we’re doing so well, but I think the damage has already been done. “Keep it. It’s not a big deal.”
His glare gets more intense, I shrink in my seat. “I can’t believe you’d even ask. What the fuck, Summer?”
“I just thought we’re getting along so well, so amicably, I didn’t think you’d mind as much as you do.”
“I’m trying to be amicable,” he hisses, “because I’m not a shit person. And you’re alone right now, pregnant, sick, and you’re still my fucking wife, Summer.”
Eyes from the table beside us roam across and the older couple cluck and tut while whispering under their breath.
“Don’t make a scene,” I plead reaching for his hand which he pulls away and then try to change the subject. “How are your parents?”
He shrugs. “Pissed at us.”
“They still not talking to you?” Chris’ parents are old school. They don’t believe in divorce and his mom is extra mad at me considering she helped me convince Chris to propose and then I did what I did. Chris told them in a moment of anger. I don’t blame him for it. He shouldn’t have to lie about what I did.
“They keep sending me couples therapy pamphlets and emails.”
I bite my lip and then let it ping free. “That’s so Minnie.”
Minnie is his mom’s name.
He tries to smile but again it’s more of a grimace. “Maybe we should do this another day?”
“It’s never going to be easy, Chris.”
“I know,” he grumbles. “It just looks so fucking easy for you. You’ve got this whole new life, baby, douchebag of a man beside you, your friends, your studies…”
I don’t know what to say. I could tell him that he’ll find happiness too but then that just sounds boastful or something sick. Instead I place my hand over his again, he doesn’t pull away this time.
“I really fucked up, didn’t I?” I ask quietly. “I’ve really hurt you.”
“Yeah,” he mutters, bringing my hand to his lips. When he kisses my knuckles, his eyes close and he lets his lips linger for the longest moment. “You really fucking have.”
“I feel so much guilt, I hope you know that it eats at me
, all the time. I wonder what could have been, what should have been.” I stroke the inside of his palm with my thumb. “But it is the way it is now. There’s no going back.”
“And what about the baby? What if it’s mine?”
Pulling my hand away, I sigh but he grips my wrist and holds my eyes.
“Right now, Summer, I can’t stop thinking about it. I mean… if it is mine it’ll be our second chance.”
“By the time this baby is born you’ll be well over me.”
He laughs sardonically, humorlessly, the sound makes me uneasy. It’s not a usual Chris sound, despite all our issues Chris has always been a level guy. This sounds close to hysteria, it sounds manic.
“You really don’t know how much I fucking love you.” He grips my wrist tighter and I don’t pull away. I let him have his moment. Maybe if he gets it all out, he’ll start to heal? Though saying that I’m not sure I have healed in the slightest. Seeing him here like this, knowing the security he offers me, the permanence, it’s tempting. Of course it is. I’d be a fool not to consider it.
I’ve left him for an unknown life with another man. A stupid idea probably but what choice do I have? I’m pregnant with Mason’s babies. I’m not about to do this alone.
Plus, Mason is a really great guy, or he seems to be. And his apartment is starting to feel like home now that I’ve painted the living room a stark white. It’s one step closer to completely redesigning the entire apartment to suit my vision.
“I want to do a paternity test, Summer. There are tests available during pregnancy. It’ll put me out of my misery.”
I blink at him, at his desperate tone. “You want me to let them jab a needle into my stomach? Are you insane? What if they hurt it or something?”
His look is one of determination. “The procedure is extremely gentle.”
A Little Bit of Guilt: Little Bits #5 Page 18