Tactical Bear (P.O.L.A.R. Series Book 4)

by Candace Ayers

  In order to keep what was left of my already tenuous hold on my sanity, I needed to get far away from Sunkissed Key. I drove north and didn’t stop until I ended up at some dive club in Miami.

  The place was so much bigger than the bars on the island and I found myself irritated by how many people were there. So many sights, scents and sounds. I also realized that I probably looked like a vagrant. I hadn’t changed clothes in…I didn’t remember how long, but awhile, and I hadn’t shaved or fixed my hair in longer.

  Settling at the bar, I ordered two double shots of whiskey and threw them back one after the other. Motioning for more, I rested my elbows on the bar top and held my head in my hands. I was such a hot mess. I hadn’t slept, couldn’t remember when I’d eaten last, and I ached all over. I missed arguing with Parker. I missed any and everything with her, but I knew she was done with me. I’d screwed things up without even completely understanding how.

  “You okay, big guy?” The bartender was a pretty redhead with a neck tattoo.

  I slid my empty glasses back and motioned for more whiskey. “Fine.”

  She filled the glasses higher than normal and nodded at me. “Keep it together tonight, honey.”

  I laughed and threw those shots back, too. I had no intention of keeping anything together. I intended to drink until my chest stopped aching and I could convince my unruly bear to leave Parker the hell alone because she hated us.

  The night went on like that for…I don’t know how many hours. I drank hard, ignored the crowd around me, and proceeded to get so hammered that I forgot where I was. I must’ve blacked out at some point because the next thing I knew, I woke up on a hard ground.

  I was shifted into my bear and everything around me stunk like wild animal and rank, stagnant water. I sat up and looked around, immediately ascertaining that I’d fucked up majorly.

  I was in a zoo, a goddamned zoo. Not the small wildlife refuge on the island, either. This was a big goddamned zoo and I was in what looked like some sort of quarantine containment area. Still, zoo goers could observe me. There was a group of children staring at me and tapping at the glass.

  I groaned. I felt like shit. Just what I needed, an audience of curious onlookers to witness the rapid descent of my dignity and its culmination in a fiery crash—at rock bottom. How the hell I was going to get out of this mess? It would have been better if I’d woken up in the slammer. At least in jail, I’d have been able to post bail. If my head wasn’t pounding so hard and I didn’t have to concentrate on choking down the bile creeping up the back of my throat, I’d have been more panicked.

  Serge… I called out, hoping our telepathic link would reach all the way to Sunkissed Key. I had a feeling he was going to need time to get me out.

  A pimple faced teenage boy started pounding on the glass and shouting. The sounds were like a sledgehammer to my cranium and I snarled viciously at him.

  What?

  I have a slight problem. I looked up as a man wearing a uniform stepped cautiously into the containment area. Miami-Dade Zoological Park was emblazoned on the right breast of his shirt and he held a big bucket of dead fish in one hand and what looked like a cattle prod in the other.

  Oh, fuck, scratch that. I have a BIG problem.

  Just tell me.

  I gagged and turned away from the fish. They weren’t fresh and, even though I was half animal, I couldn’t do old, stinky fish—especially not while fighting a hangover from hell. I just woke up in a cage. No idea how I got here. Get me the fuck out!

  After a long period of silence, Serge came back to me. It was clear by his tone he was having a field day with this. Fine. Great, laugh it up at my expense.

  You fucking jackass. I’ll do what I can. Any idea where you are?

  Miami Zoo.

  He growled in my head, all his humor gone. Fucking hell, Maxim. I thought you meant you were here on the island. I’ll get you out, but it may take a day or two.

  A day or two?! Get me the fuck out of here fast or I’m going to fucking lose my shit. I growled at the worker coming closer to me with the dead fish. They’re trying to feed me fermented fish.

  I sank back against the fake rock wall behind me and growled louder. Fuck. I was in for a miserable time until Serge figured out how to get me out.

  Time crawled as plethora of employees each came at me with different foods and medicines. I did my best to chase them away by growling and viciously baring my teeth, but that only made them bring out a tranquilizer gun. At that point I ended up running around the enclosure to keep away from them.

  I felt like I was in a Three Stooges film, running, weaving, leaping and doubling back as the team of zookeepers chased me. I’m sure I looked like a complete idiot, but I couldn’t exactly shift back and walk out of the place. I was hungover as hell and all the running was making me feel like death warmed over.

  After a while, I just gave up and let them sedate me. When they finally left me alone, I sat in a drugged out haze and contemplated life.

  Had I really sunk this low? I was caged in a zoo like a goddamned halfwit while Parker was out there hunting herself up a rabbit mate. Serge was right. I was a jackass. Instead of setting about convincing her that I would make her a good mate, that she didn’t need a rabbit, I’d acted like an entitled dick and made demands that pushed her further away.

  Night was settling over the zoo and the keepers had left me alone for a while. I stared up at the little bit of sky I could see. I needed to fix things. Drinking myself into an oblivion had been a poor decision. Getting locked in a zoo was an even poorer decision. I was full of poor decisions lately.

  Things weren’t just going to fall into place for me. The guys seemed to think that mates always ended up together, but they were basing that on their own experiences. Maybe it didn’t always work out. Maybe this whole waking up in a zoo experience was a sign that it was time to throw in the towel.

  No.

  Fuck, that. I wasn’t a quitter and I wasn’t going to give up on Parker. Maybe a change in tactics…yeah, that was it. I’d utilize my tactical skills and knowhow to work out some strategic, calculated moves. I could do it! I had to do it—life without Parker wasn’t an option. Not anymore. The thought of going back to the emptiness of sleeping with nameless, faceless women every night just to try to ease the hollow ache inside and keeping every one of them at an arm’s length made me want to retch. There was only one woman I wanted and I wanted to get as close to her as possible.

  I had years of training to fall back on. I just had to tap into my skill set.

  Step one: Analyze past and present tactics and pinpoint failed tasks and maneuvers. Shame settled over me as it dawned on me that I hadn’t really done anything at all to win Parker over. What had I offered her? Just me. Like that should make her drop everything and run into my arms. No wonder she called me a Neanderthal. No wonder she was still looking, still going on dates. I hadn’t made much of an effort to get to know her or to determine what made her tick—what she liked and cared about.

  Step two: Formulate a new tactical mission that removes and eliminates all enemy forces. Fix things. I just had to convince her that I was worth her while. That I was worth her changing lanes on the direction she’d planned her life to go in. For that, I had to put in an effort to learn everything I could about her. Find out her likes and dislikes, what makes her tick. Prove to her that I would make a good mate. No, the best mate.

  Step three: Implement newly formulated tactical mission. And I would… as soon as I could get my furry butt out of the zoo.

  23

  Parker

  “She’s drunk.” Laila laughed and pulled my glass away from me. “I am too, actually.”

  “Yeah, you’re both pretty far gone. We didn’t need an announcement to notice.” Penny shook her head. “I suppose Paige and I have some catching up to do.”

  Laila and I exchanged a glance. “Not much.”

  Heidi immediately poured more tequila, Penny’s drink of choice,
into her glass. “And, there you go.”

  Paige stood up and cheered all of a sudden. “I love this song! Come on, Pen. Dance with me! Do you remember when this came out? That summer you were dating Pauley Ford?”

  “I wasn’t dating him! You were dating him.”

  “I never dated him! He was a weirdo.”

  “Then what makes you think I did?”

  I watched them merge onto the dance floor and fade into the swaying crowd, still arguing. Every single time those two had a little alcohol in them, they argued about their childhood and teen years. I grinned and turned to Laila. “Think we’ll see them again tonight?”

  “Not a chance.”

  That was another thing about Penny and Paige. Once they got going squabbling about the good old days, they tended to just…leave. No matter where they were, they just took off together. I was convinced it was because they were bickering so much that they didn’t even realize that they’d walked themselves right on home.

  “Like I did that time with Maxim.”

  “What?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  “You did what with Maxim?”

  I frowned. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. I looked at Heidi and shook my head. “We’re not talking about him. I have nothing nice to say and he’s your friend so that would be weird. I’m not talking about him. I’m not even thinking about him—or wondering where he is. At all.”

  Laila rolled her eyes and grabbed what was left of Penny’s tequila. “Okay.”

  Heidi just grinned. “Of course, you’re not talking about him. Why would you?”

  I pointed at her, suddenly excited that she understood. “Exactly! Why would I? Why would I talk about that…that…conceited, arrogant, buff, beautiful, sexy man?”

  “So, you think he’s buff, beautiful, and sexy, huh?” Heidi wagged her brows at me. “I thought you weren’t thinking about him?”

  I rested my elbows on the bar so I could get serious. “I’m not! Because I’m going to find a rabbit mate. That’s my destiny—a rabbit. I don’t need any big, sexy polar bears in my life and bossing me around. Did I tell you the way he spoke to me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes.”

  I stared at both women and sighed. “Well, it was rude. He just laid down the law as though he could tell me to jump and I’d ask how high. Demanding, cocky, arrogant, rude, overbearing, did I say rude? Yeah, rude, I said rude. He didn’t even care about my petition. Oh, Heidi, can I get you to sign my petition?”

  Heidi took my empty shot glass away and, laughing, just shook her head. “I already did.”

  “Oh, right. Good. I just hate being named after Hugh Hefner. I mean, have you read some of the stuff those women said about him? It’s so insulting. Why couldn’t we be named after like…a saintly priest, or Nobel peace prize winner or something? Someone noted for something other than whipping his junk out of his pants.” I sighed. “Why didn’t Maxim keep it in his pants?”

  Laila shrugged. “Why are we still talking about him?”

  “We’re not! I’m not talking about him.” I hesitated for a minute. “I just want to know, is all. If he thought I was his mate, why did he take another woman to the beach and suck face with her? Who does that?”

  “We’re definitely not talking about him.” Heidi grinned.

  “And did I mention how rude he was?” I felt like crying. “Do you think I’ll ever find love?”

  Laila wrapped her arms around me. “I love you.”

  “Do you think a man will ever want me?”

  “A polar bear already wants you.” Heidi slid a glass of water towards me. “He’s a mess without you.”

  I scowled at her and held a hand up. “We’re not talking about him. I don’t want to hear anything about him.”

  She just waited.

  “Okay, tell me. What do you mean he’s a mess? A mess how? Is he sad? Does he miss me?”

  “No, you shouldn’t have to listen to any of this stuff. You don’t need to hear about how sad he’s been, or about how he hasn’t even used hair products lately. You especially don’t need to hear about how he got so hammered that he blacked out and ended up locked in the Miami Zoo.”

  Laila jerked upright. That was her worst nightmare. “No!”

  Heidi turned towards her. “Okay, I guess I can tell you, Laila. Cover your ears, Parker. So, yeah, he’s still trapped there. The guys are all trying to work out how to get him out. It’s a mess working with state and federal agencies for retroactive permits to house exotic animals and certificates of veterinary inspections. Before that, he completely trashed his room he was so frustrated—knocked out walls even, which isn’t like him at all. He’s usually way more laid back. He just hasn’t been himself.”

  I leaned in closer, absorbing the information about him like I was a sponge.

  “It’s good that you rejected him, I guess, Parker. Otherwise, something like this might stress you out and get you down.”

  Deflating, I leaned back in my chair and gasped as I realized there was no back to the chair. The barstool I was on had no back to it, so I kept leaning, and kept leaning. Just before I crash landed on the floor, Laila used her lightning reflexes to catch me and prop me up. Since I hadn’t actually hit the ground, it didn’t faze me.

  My mind was full of images of Maxim being stuck in his animal form and being callously poked and prodded. I felt my eyes well with tears. “Do you think he’s okay?”

  Heidi grinned suddenly and shrugged. “Who knows? It’s nothing for you to worry about, though. I’m sure he’ll find someone to clean up his messes. Probably some beauty queen, knowing him.”

  I was growling and all but foaming at the mouth before she even finished the sentence. My heart squeezed like my rib cage was trying to juice it.

  “Oh, babe. We’re just trying to get you to see that you care about him.” Laila wrapped her arm around me and hugged me.

  “I’m sorry, Parker. I didn’t mean to upset you, well, yeah, I did, but with the best of intentions.” She hesitated and then squared her shoulders. “Laila and I both think you’re being incredibly stubborn. If you feel this strongly about him, you should do something about it.”

  24

  Maxim

  Getting out of the zoo had cost us an arm and a leg. What was worse, we now owed Leon Zoo, the owner of Sunkissed Wildlife Sanctuary, another huge favor that I was sure he would call in at some inopportune moment. Serge had to grease quite a few palms along the way, but I was finally free and on my way back to Sunkissed Key. I stunk like the fucking zoo, so I let the window down on the drive back to get some fresh air in my lungs.

  Serge wasn’t pleased with me. To say the least. He was griping that he’d had to put so much time and effort into getting me out of a situation that I shouldn’t have been in in the first place. “I don’t even know where to start with you.”

  I just grunted. “Then don’t.”

  “Nice. Great. Good way to express gratitude.” He swerved around a slow moving car and glared at me. “Look, I get that you haven’t been yourself lately, what with dealing with all the mate stuff, but the truth is you’ve been acting like an overgrown cub lately. In fact, you’ve been a dick since we got to this island. You’re not the only one of us that was uprooted and sent here. Newsflash, we’re all in the same boat.”

  “Yeah, well, we wouldn’t be on this fucking island if not for you and your fuck ups.” It was a low blow, blaming Serge, but I was feeling dirty, smelly, and antsy as hell from being in a nightmare for over two days, not to mention agonizing over what Parker had been doing while I was locked up. I was ready for a fight, apparently.

  “Because I broke protocol to find my mate. It was worth it. I’d do it again—every single day, if I had to. At the end of the day, Maxim, fuck this job. Fuck P.O.L.A.R. and fuck the main office. The most important thing to me is Hannah. I’d throw everything else away in a heartbeat if I had to for Hannah. That’s what being a mate is. If you pulled your head
out of your own ass for a moment, you’d know that.” He slammed on the brakes and pulled off the road. “You’re dissatisfied? You’re welcome to leave the team. Go back to Siberia and grovel at the main office. They’d let you join another league—maybe the grizzlies. You’ve always been a good operative and you’ll always be one. They’d be lucky to have you.”

  I swallowed. I hadn’t expected him to hand me an out like that. I hadn’t expected it at all. “Fuck, Serge. I’m not leaving our unit.”

  He grinned suddenly. “I know. I was calling your bluff. None of us would actually let you leave, anyway. We’re a family. You’re stuck with us, so fucking deal with it. This is where we are now. You might find you don’t mind the heat so much if you stopped setting your whole life on fire all the time.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Spare me the lecture. I’ve had nothing but time to think for days and I’ve done plenty of it.”

  “Then you know how to fix it?”

  I laughed but didn’t answer.

  “You’re telling me you’ve had all this time to figure shit out and you didn’t come up with a plan on how to fix everything?”

  “I came up with something—a tactical plan of operations. I think it might work.” I blew out a rough breath and stared ahead. “Not treating her like a notch on my bedpost would probably be a good start. I didn’t mean to—didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

  “Hard to fix a habit that’s never been a problem before.” He pulled back onto the highway and hit the gas hard. “I’ve heard through the gossip grapevine that she’s been talking about you a lot. Not all good things, but still. That means something.”

  That made me laugh. It seemed that I was still driving her crazy and pissing her off. It wasn’t hard to picture her angry face while she ranted about me.

  “I deserve it.” I rolled the window up and turned the AC on higher. “She’s a little firecracker, and I like that. I think I could’ve handled the whole thing better. I’ve been replaying everything over in my head on a loop and I keep kicking the shit out of myself for how often I treated her like what she cared about was insignificant—stupid, even. In my defense, she kept talking about wanting a rabbit mate and having rabbit babies and…I just saw red. I should have listened, though. I should have tried to understand what was important to her and why.”