Tactical Bear (P.O.L.A.R. Series Book 4)

by Candace Ayers

  “It’s not too late.”

  I hoped not. I had to make it right. “Can you drop me off near her house?”

  “You sure you don’t want to get cleaned up first? You look like hell.” He sniffed and then winced. “You smell worse.”

  I grunted. “Drop me off by the water. I’ll go for a swim first.”

  “Whoa. The perfect hair bear isn’t going to go home and get his gel on?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Yeah. Fuck you, too.”

  I looked over at him and shook my head. I’d blamed Serge for us ending up in the Florida Keys, and I’d been so bitter about it that I’d started to resent the guy. He’d been like a brother for nearly as long as I’d been alive, though. We’d been through thick and thin together. It shouldn’t have taken me finding my own mate to understand why he did what he did, but it had. That was my bad.

  “What? Do you want to kiss me now? Stop looking at me like that. You’re creeping me out.”

  I grinned and punched him in the arm. The car swerved, but he chuckled. A tension had been released and I felt one brick in the tower of my life slip back into place. “Am I really supposed to feel the heat less because I found my mate?”

  He snorted. “Fuck, no. That’s just something we say. It’s still fucking hot as a bonfire in a desert at high noon. Swamp-ass city every day and every night. None of us are cutting down on AC units anytime soon and none of us are going to suddenly need a jacket this winter.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Nope.” He glanced over at me. “It doesn’t suck as bad, though when you get to come home to the woman who holds your heart. That makes anything bearable.”

  I sighed. “Bearable. Got it.”

  “Plus, it’s hard to notice how much your balls are sticking to your thigh when your dick is rock hard ninety percent of the time.”

  Groaning, I shook my head. “Alright. That’s a little too much sharing for me.”

  25

  Parker

  I never wanted to get out of bed ever again, but someone was knocking on my door. I felt like my head had been used as a rock tumbler and my back had doubled as a trampoline. I rolled over to answer the door and fell out of bed. Groaning, I opened my eyes and realized that I wasn’t at home. What the hell was I doing at Laila’s?

  “Parker, let me in! Parker? I got locked out!”

  I pulled myself up on the side of her bed and stumbled towards the front door. “Why the hell did you do that?”

  She pushed in as soon as I unlocked the door and flopped herself onto the couch. “It was an accident. I went to get coffee and then I realized I forgot my wallet so I came back but when got here I realized I also forgot my keys. I’ve been locked out, without coffee, for almost five minutes.”

  “Really?”

  “And you hogged the whole bed last night. I had to sleep on the couch and you know my couch has that one lumpy spot with the spring that pokes you in the back if you try to sleep on it.”

  “Well, take your bed back. I need to go home. I should water my plants…or something. What time is it?”

  She pointed at the large wooden clock on the wall. “Learn to tell time, bed hog.”

  It was already close to one in the afternoon and I was going to regret sleeping in so late. “I’ve got to go. I have a date tonight.”

  She sat up and grabbed her head. “With Maxim? Did you call him?”

  My stomach lurched. “No. And hell no. I’ve gotta go. Bye.”

  “You’re hopeless.”

  I slammed her door a little harder than necessary on the way out, instantly regretted it, and winced from the sharp head pain.

  My place was just a few streets from hers. The island wasn’t that big. But trudging through the sand made it feel like running a marathon that morning. By the time I got up my front steps and inside, I was sweaty and tired. Still, I forced myself to make a pot of coffee and get in the shower. One glimpse in a mirror was all the motivation I needed.

  I’d just pulled on a t-shirt and pajama bottoms when I heard a knock at my front door. I gathered my wet hair out of my face and on top of my head in an elastic and went to see who it was. Before I got too close, the smell of pine forests and spiced oranges gave him away. Maxim.

  “I’m not here to fight, Bunny.” His voice was subdued, calm, almost like he wasn’t even the same person. What had they done to him in the slammer? My heart raced.

  I opened the door almost expecting to see a broken, beaten man. Clearly, I had watched Shawshank Redemption one too many times. Maxim looked weary and a little rougher around the edges than normal, but he was still Max. Handsome, devilish, and with a smile that was like the issuance of a permanent dare. His hair was mussed and he hadn’t shaved, but he looked good. And he wasn’t wearing a shirt. His low-slung shorts were damp with ocean water; I could smell the salt on his skin.

  “Hey.”

  I swallowed a lump of desire and emotion. “Hey.”

  He forced a smile and ran his hands through his hair. “Sorry to just show up. I… I wanted to talk. No pressure. I was just thinking about that petition of yours and wondered if maybe I could sign it.”

  That was unexpected and caught me completely off-guard. I took a step backwards.

  “May I come in?”

  I had already stepped back enough to give him space to enter, so I just nodded. I watched him walk in and look around. Suddenly, I was wary of how my house might look to him. He’d been in before, of course, but we hadn’t exactly been comparing home décor.

  “I like this.” He touched my couch. “Looks comfy.”

  I had no clue what we were doing or what was happening. I just slipped into hostess mode and gestured towards the couch. “Sit. Do you want some coffee or tea?”

  He nodded. “Coffee would be great.”

  In the kitchen, I leaned against the counter while staring at the coffee pot. What the fuck was I doing? Had we both lost our minds?

  “Seems like so long since we were in here.” He sighed when he saw me jump. “Sorry.”

  I couldn’t handle the weirdness. I turned to face him and crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you doing here, Maxim?”

  “Uh, your petition. I want to hear about it and sign it—the way I should have the first time I saw it.”

  I shook my head. “What are you really doing here?”

  “Apologizing?”

  “Maxim…”

  “Even if you don’t want to hear it, I need to say it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such an arrogant dickhead to you. What you care about is important to me. It truly is. I should’ve signed the petition and listened to you about why it’s important. Maybe then, I could’ve understood more why you have your heart set on another rabbit so much.”

  I looked down at the floor, not sure what to do with him.

  “I’m sorry for being a jerk to you. I like arguing with you. You’re a spitfire and don’t take any shit from me. For some reason, I love that. But I was an asshole.”

  My stomach twisted. “I was an asshole, too.”

  “I wish we could’ve talked like this before. It could’ve saved some headaches.”

  “Are you okay? I heard…about the zoo.”

  He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “Yeah. Not exactly my finest hour, but it gave me time to think.”

  I wanted to do things I had no business doing—like hug him. I felt like he could use one and, if so, I wanted to be the woman who gave it. Seemed I couldn’t handle Maxim being a decent guy who wanted to talk to me. He was like kryptonite to me.

  “Maybe we can talk more? I’m wide open tonight if you want to go out to dinner, or something?”

  Reality hit me and I turned back to the coffee pot. I figured a fight was coming. “Um… I’m busy tonight…I, uh, have plans.” I didn’t say it, but I was pretty sure he assumed that “plans” meant I had a date. If so, he was correct.

  There was silence for a beat and then he cleared his thro
at. “I hope it goes well.” His voice was strained and it was obvious that it took a lot for him to say that.

  I jerked around ready to fight, or make excuses or justifications, but he was already gone. He was just letting me go out with some other guy? He wasn’t even going to protest? Or, show up and ruin it?

  My heart sank. He was giving up on me.

  And I couldn’t blame him.

  26

  Parker

  I was miserable.

  My date, Tom, was a nice rabbit with nice manners and nice sense of style. He had nice, normal sized, stereotype-breaking teeth, and a decent amount of smarts. He was a doctor. He also was attentive enough to know that I wasn’t the least bit interested in him. He stayed through dessert, though, no matter how awkward it was that my eyes were magnetically drawn to the door throughout the entire meal, and that I was desperately waiting for a certain someone to stomp through it and chase Tom off.

  Even the waiter at Tuna’s Seafood House was eyeing me like I was pathetic. When Tom finally gave up and left, after paying the bill and wishing me all the best, the waiter took his break and sat down with me to finish the cheesecake that Tom hadn’t touched.

  “The big, angry, muscular guy didn’t come bursting in tonight.”

  I frowned. “No, he didn’t.”

  “So, what’s with you two, anyway?”

  “Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing between the two of us.”

  “So, what are you resisting? These guys you keep meeting in here? Dear god, send a life alert. You look like your head is going to nod off right into your vegan bouillabaisse. But when the big guy comes in, you shine, girl. You’re all fire and sass.”

  “The guy tonight, Tom, was perfectly fine!”

  “For your mother, maybe.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You’re awfully involved in this.”

  “Honey, you’ve been the live entertainment so often lately that I’m invested. It’s like watching Days of Our Lives. What will she do next? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode… So, why aren’t you with the big guy?”

  “We’re just different people.” I shook my head. “I think. I don’t know.”

  He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, my god. What is it with you women? That is one fine hunk of man meat there. Not only that, he comes bursting in here, wasting his time, letting you know he’s more than interested. He looks at you like you’re literally the last morsel of chocolate on earth and it’s so damn hot, the chef could sear a steak on it. I don’t get it. The rest of the servers here are wondering the same thing. Why the hell are you rejecting him?”

  I just stared at him. I had an answer. I did. I just couldn’t tell him. He wouldn’t understand that I needed to find a rabbit mate. That I felt it my duty to do my part to perpetuate the species.

  My stomach sank to my feet as I realized how lackluster I felt any more about the idea of a rabbit mate. I didn’t want to touch any other man but Maxim. How I thought I could mate someone else, I didn’t know. I still wanted rabbit babies and I still felt strongly about saving my species and getting rid of the ridiculous moniker, but I found I didn’t hate the idea of little polar bear cubs. I didn’t hate the idea at all.

  “I..um…I’m pretty sure he’s reached his limit. I think he’s washed his hands of me.” Maxim had finally done what I’d been telling him to do from day one. The fact that he hadn’t crashed in here and interrupted my date made that painfully obvious.

  “Are you going to accept that? Because, if not, there are about fifty other women who would be more than willing to take him off your hands. Hell, men, too.”

  “Back off.” I growled at him and stood up. “He’s mine.”

  “Yes! There’s that show of passionate possessiveness I was hoping for!” He smirked. “Feel free to name your firstborn after me.”

  I looked at his name tag and nearly choked. “Um. No. Sorry, Hugh, but you’re out of luck.”

  * * *

  I had an idea of where the polar bears lived. Heidi had talked about it some and, once I was in the general vicinity, it was easy for a rabbit shifter to scent out where a bunch of apex predators lived. I felt hesitant and I was second guessing myself as I got closer to the large two story bungalow. The scent of dominance was strong in the area and my rabbit sat up and twitched her ears. The idiot little thing was eager to go inside. The fuck? Did she have a death wish?

  I could smell Maxim inside. My stomach flip-flopped and I began to second guess myself hard. What was I doing? I had a plan. I had a goal in life. I had…

  The front door of the house opened and a huge guy nearly ran me over as he was leaving—one of the polar bears. He barely stopped before turning me into roadkill. “Fuck, sorry.”

  I backed away. I was making a fool of myself—I should just go home. “Excuse me.”

  “Wait, are you Parker? Maxim is inside. Go on in.” He stepped out of the way and all but pushed me inside. “To the left.”

  He pulled the door closed after leaving and then I was left standing in the entryway of a house full of polar bears, wondering what the hell to do now.

  “I smell rabbit!” A voice yelled from upstairs.

  Annoyance tore through me. “Well, if it helps to mask the stink of bears, you’re welcome.”

  Maxim immediately appeared from the left, like the other bear had said, a confused and shocked look on his face. “Parker. Is everything okay? What are you doing here?”

  At that moment I wished I could fade into the wallpaper. It had clearly been a terrible idea to just show up unannounced. He probably didn’t want me there, invading his space. “Um…you know, I’m not really sure... I’ll go.”

  I didn’t even get a chance to turn around before he quickly stepped around me and blocked the exit. “No, don’t leave. Did you come to talk? What’s on your mind?”

  “You.” I blew out a quick breath and shivered. “It’s freezing in here. Why is it so cold in here? What, do you guys have the air conditioner up full blast?”

  “Want to take a walk?”

  I nodded. It was better to get out of that house. Being in an enclosed space and surrounded by Maxim’s scent while trying to think clearly wasn’t likely to yield the intended results. It was hard enough to make sense of what I was doing, with my rabbit jumping loops like a lunatic inside me. She was so happy to see her mate.

  Maxim ushered me outside but kept out of my space. He didn’t even speak as he started us walking in the direction of my house. We had to cross Main Street, but still, neither of us spoke. It wasn’t until we were at my porch that Maxim shrugged. “I figured it’d be easier for you if we were on your own territory.”

  He was right. We sat on my front steps and it was easier to spill my guts. “I wasn’t always like this. When I was younger, I didn’t care who I slept with.”

  He dropped his head into his hands. “Not the thing to say to me, Bunny.”

  “I meant it wasn’t so important to me to find another rabbit shifter. I wasn’t so—neurotic. Things happened… I don’t know, I got older. It became important to me where I came from. My parents died and I kind of felt alone in the world. About the same time, I also realized how few rabbit shifters there are like me left in this world, and the combination freaked me out.

  “What I’m trying to say is that I think I might’ve gone a little overboard.”

  27

  Maxim

  I didn’t want to breathe for fear of pissing Parker off and drawing her away from where I hoped she was going with all this. She also looked vulnerable for the first time since I’d met her, and I didn’t want to say anything that might take advantage of that vulnerability.

  “I’m sorry.” She turned to face me and rested her hand on top of my thigh. “I got carried away. I should have known better than to think I could ignore this thing between us and just find a rabbit that I feel meh about to mate with.”

  I was holding my breath and leaning closer to her. “What are you saying?”

  �
�I can’t help but argue with you.”

  I nodded. “Ditto.”

  “And you make me a little crazy.”

  I nodded again. “Ditto.”

  “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, Maxim”

  I flashed her a huge grin. “Ditto.”

  “When we’re together, I’m not sure if I want to kiss you or punch you. I dream about kicking you in the shin and then kissing you to make it all better. None of this makes sense to me. But, I feel it.”

  I scooted closer to her. “I have something for you.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “As in a gift, or a restraining order?”

  “A gift. I got some signatures for your petition.”

  “What? How?”

  I grinned, feeling hopeful. “Half coercion, half seduction.”

  When her lips turned down, I leaned forward and pecked a kiss on her sweet lips. She pulled away and shook her head. “What do you mean?”

  “I made all the guys help. We got topless on the beach and begged women to sign. The men, we threatened.” I pulled her closer. “I have a stack of pages at the house, three thousand two hundred twenty nine signatures. You’re not going to have that name attached to you anymore, not if you don’t want it.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “Three—that’s over two thirds of the population of Sunkissed Key! You did that for me?”

  “And for our future children. So they can be named after someone else. Someone inspiring, maybe. Someone who’s done great and noble things.”

  “Future children?”