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Mystics, Masters, Saints, and Sages

Page 19

by Robert Ullman


  thoughtitself,mynice,solid,concretefoundationsbegantocrack.Twentyyearsof buildupbegantotumble.

  Andmybodyshook,andshooksomuch;Ijustshookfordays.Ishookjustlikea

  nervousoldperson.IknewthattheconcreteviewIhadhadoftheworldwasnever

  goingtobeagain.Butitdidn'tdropawaygracefully,withease.Fordays,Iactually

  shook,untilIthinkIshookthewholethingloose.

  Then,myviewwasjusttheoppositeofwhatithadbeenmonthspreviously,that

  the real solid thing was not the physical world, was not my mind, but something, whichwasmuchgreater.Theveryessence,theveryBeingnessofmewasthereality.

  Ithadnolimits,itwaseternalandallthethingsthatIsawbeforeweretheleastof

  me,ratherthantheallofme.TheallofmewasmyBeingness.

  IsawthattheonlylimitationsIhadweretheonesthatIaccepted.So,wantingto

  knowwhatamI?AndlookingforthisunlimitedBeingthatIhadhadaninklingof,I

  gotinsightofthistremendousunlimitedBeingthatIam.

  Andonseeingthat,Irightthereandthenrealized,“Well,I'mnotthislimitedbody

  andIthoughtIwas!IamnotthismindwithitslimitationsthatIthoughtIwas!”And

  Iundidallbodylimitation,andalmostallmindlimitation,justbysaying,“Iamnot

  it!Finished!Done!Period!That'sit!,”Isodeclared.

  ItwasobvioustomethatIwasn'tthatbodyandmindthatIhadthoughtIwas.I

  justsaw—that'sall!It'ssimplewhenyouseeit.Iletgoofidentifyingwiththisbody.

  AndwhenIdidthat,IsawthatmyBeingnesswasallBeingness.ThatBeingnessis

  likeonegrandocean.It'snotchoppedupintopartscalleddropsofbodies.It'sallone ocean.

  Thiscausedmetoidentifywitheverybeing,everypersonandeveneveryitemin

  this universe. Then you are finished forever with separation and all the hellishness that's caused only by separation. Then you can no more be fooled by the apparent limitations of the world. You see them as a dream, as an appearancy, because you knowthatyourveryownBeingnesshasnolimits.

  Inreality,theonlythingthatis,isBeingness.Thatisthereal,changelesssubstance behindeverything.

  Everythingoflifeitselfwasopentome—thetotalunderstandingofit.Itissimply

  thatweareinfinitebeings,overwhichwehavesuperimposedconceptsoflimitation

  (thelogsofthedam).Andwearesmartingundertheselimitationsthatweacceptfor

  ourselves as though they are real, because they are opposed to our basic nature of totalfreedom.

  Lifebeforeandaftermyrealizationwasattwodifferentextremes.Before,itwas

  justextremedepression,intensemisery,andsickness.After,itwasahappinessand

  serenitythat'sindescribable.Lifebecamesobeautifulandsoharmoniousthatallday,

  everyday,everythingwouldfallperfectlyintoline.

  As I would drive through New York City, I would rarely hit a red light. When I wouldgotoparkmycar,peoplesometimestwoorthreepeoplewouldstopandeven

  stepintothestreettohelpdirectmeintoaparkingspace.Thereweretimeswhentaxi

  cabdriverswouldseemelookingforaparkingspaceandwouldgiveuptheirspace

  forme.Andaftertheydid,theycouldn'tunderstandwhytheyhaddoneit.Therethey

  were,double-parked!

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  Even policemen who were parked would move out and give me their parking place.Andagain,aftertheydid,theycouldn'tunderstandwhy.ButIknewtheyfelt

  goodindoingso.Andtheywouldcontinuetohelpme.

  IfIwentintoastore,thesalesmanwouldhappilygooutofhiswaytohelpme.Or,

  if I would order something in a restaurant and then change my mind, the waitress wouldbringwhatIwanted,eventhoughIhadn'ttoldher.

  Actuallyeveryonemovestoserveyouasyoujustfloataround.Whenyouarein

  tune and you have a thought, every atom in the universe moves to fulfill your thought.Andthisistrue.

  Being in harmony is such a delightful, delectable state, not because things are comingyourway,butbecauseofthefeelingofGod-in-operation.It'satremendous

  feeling;youjustcan'timaginehowgreatitis.Itissuchadelightwhenyou'reintune, inharmony—youseeGodeverywhere!You'rewatchingGodinoperation.Andthat

  iswhatyouenjoy,ratherthanthetime,theincident,thehappening.Hisoperationis

  theultimate.

  Whenwegetintune,ourcapacitytoloveissoextremethatweloveeveryonewith

  anextremeintensitywhichmakeslivingthemostdelightfulitcouldeverbe.

  FromanunpublishedautobiographicalmanuscriptbyLesterLevenson.

  160

  JEANKLEIN

  161

  TWENTY-THREE

  JEANKLEIN

  CIRCA1916-1998,CZECHOSLOVAKIA

  ITISDIFFICULTtodiscoverthebirthdateofJeanKlein,becauseforhimsuchtemporal

  datawasoflittleimportance.Norisitpossibletoelucidatemuchinformationabout

  his childhood, except that it was spent in Czechoslovakia and Austria and that he descended from a family of musicians. A student of violin at age seven, Jean later becameamusicologist.Hewasdrawnbyhisloveoffreedomtostudyintensively,at

  the age of sixteen, the works of great writers such as Nietzsche, Dostoyevsky, Gandhi, Sri Aurobindo, Krishnamurti, Lao Tzu, Tagore, and Rene Guenon, and to becomeavegetarian.Atseventeenheenjoyedhisfirstexperienceofwhathecalled

  “myownsilence.”Jeanpursuedalifelongpracticeofyogaandastudyofthesubtle

  energy body or aura, which led him to later assert that the yoga postures could be performedindependentlyofthephysicalbody.

  AftercompletingtrainingasamedicaldoctorinAustriaandGermany,Jeanspent

  World War II in France, where he secretly assisted thousands of people to escape fromGermany.Afterthewar,in1950,hefollowedhissoul'scalltoIndia.ThereDr.

  Kleinshareda“sacredrelationship”withhisAdvaitist(nondualistic)teacher,Pandiji, a Sanskrit professor in Bangalore, who directed him to the question, “Who Am I?”

  One morning, in a state between deep sleep and awakening, his individual identity disappearedandwasreplacedbyanall-pervadinglight,whichherecognizedasthe

  onereality.

  Dr. Klein's urge to share his experience with others in the West, encouraged by Pandiji, was fulfilled in 1960 when he began teaching. Just as he refrained from answeringpersonalquestions,explainingthat,intruth,thereisnopersontorespond,

  never did he promote himself as a teacher. The teacher appears, according to Dr.

  Klein,onlybecausetherearestudentssearchingfortheteaching.

  For the next thirty-eight years, Dr. Klein traveled all over the world transmitting the teaching of the nature of reality and truth. His teaching was impersonal, in the knowledgethatthereisindeednosuchthingasanindividual.Dr.Kleinspokeoflife

  asawarenessitself,existingbetweenthoughts,concepts,andperceptions.Itwasonly

  insilence,heinstructed,thattruthwouldrevealitself.Self-inquirywouldinevitably lead to the realization that there was no inquirer and nothing to attain. Though his teachingwasstronglyinfluencedbyAdvaita,Dr.Klein'stransmissionwasdirectand

  unencumberedevenbytheunassumingtrappingsofhispredecessorssuchasRamana

  Maharshi. Dr. Klein au
thored various books, including IAm,BeWhoYouAre, and Transmission of the Flame. He died in 1998 in Santa Barbara, California, and his foundationisintheprocessofpublishinghisunpublishedworksanddialogues.

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  FROMINDIVIDUALTOIMPERSONAL

  HOWTHENdidyoumeetyour“unknownteacher”?

  SomeofthefriendsImet,andwithwhomIspokeofpeace,freedomandjoy,hada

  spiritualguide.OnedayImettheirteacherandonthisandseveralothermeetings,I

  asked him many questions, questions that expressed all my earnestness to find my realcenter.

  Itseemsthatyoutrustedhimatonce.

  Iwasopentohim.Iwasstruckbyhislackofstriving,hishumility.Henevertriedto impress or convince. There was simply no personality. All his answers came from nowhere,noone,andyethisgentleopennesswasapparent.Iwasstrucktoobyhis

  argumentthatpotentiallyyouare,itonlyneedsactualizing.Heneversawanyoneas

  notknowing.Hegavenoholdtomypersonality.

  He gave me many answers, but during the several weeks that I didn't see him I became aware that all my questions had been an escape, an evasion of the real question.TheexistentialcrisisIhadalwayslivedinbecameacute.Ilivedwiththis

  feeling that I had missed the real question, a question I was not able to formulate.

  ThenIhadtheopportunitytovisithimwherehelivedinalittleroomintheSanskrit

  CollegeatBangalorewherehewasateacher.TwootheryoungIndianswerepresent

  andtheyweretalkingaboutthe KarikasofGaudapadaandthe MandukyaUpanishad

  [sacredHindutexts].Thetalkwasofthefourstates,waking,sleeping,dreamingand

  turiya (the absence of objects). He said that turiya is not properly speaking a state whichoneentersandleaves.Itbecomesanon-state (turiyacitta)whenyouareawake init.Itistheabsenceofourselfwhichisourtotalpresence.Thentherewasasilence, the other students left and he suddenly looked at me and asked, “Do you know yourself?”IwasabitdisturbedbythisquestionbecauseIdidn'treallyknowwhathe

  meant. I couldn't find a way to look at it. I said hesitatingly, “Yes,” because I was thinking I knew my body, senses and mind very well. He said to me, “You are the knowerofyourbody,sensesandmind,buttheknowercanneverbeknown,because

  youareitandthere'snobodytoknowit.Itcanneverbecomeanobjectofobservation

  because it is your totality.” This saying had a very strong impact on me. I had a glimpse of reality in this moment because it stopped all intellectual faculties. We weresilentandIleft.

  Anddidthisimpactremainwithyouwhenyougothome?

  Itleftaverystrongechoinmeoffreedomfromoldbeliefs.Iwenthomeandlived

  withitfreefromallconceptualizationandfeltmyselfawakeinthisnot-knowing.It

  wascompletelynew,therewasnoabsenceofknowing.

  Didlifechangeorgoonasusual?

  Lifewenton,eating,meetingpeople.ButtherewasnowafeelingthatIwasbehind

  alldailyactivities.IsawPandijimanytimesafterwardsandrealizedthathewasmy

  guru because this pro-found impact could only come from a guru. So you see he foundmewhenIwasnotlookingforhim!

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  Wereyouatanypointinthequestconvincedthatyouwouldonedayknowyourreal nature?

  Yes.AfterthefirstmeetingwithhiminBangalore.Ineverformulatedit.Itwasnever

  agoal.Theword“enlightenment”neverenteredmythoughts.Pandijicertainlydidn't

  usetheterm.Itwassimplyalivelyfeeling,withoutformulation,ofbeingfreefrom

  myself,freefromallrestrictions,allideas,freefromtheknowingoffreedom.

  Howdidyouspendthetimetogether?

  Hewasteachingatthecollegeallday.Sometimesweatetogetherandeverymorning

  he knocked on my door very early and we sat together in silence. Sometimes we spokeaboutthescriptures,because,beingamanoftradition,heveryoftenreferred

  hissayingstothescriptures.Butheneverdidsoarbitrarily.Eachtimehespokethis

  way,itwasexactlythemomentwhenIneededtoknowit.Therewasreallyafeeling

  ofoneness.Iwasnotawareofa“me”anda“he”inourbeingtogether.Therewas

  reallove,notinthewayweareaccustomedtomeanit.Itwasthemostexaltedbeing

  inlove.Hispresencewascontinuallydrenchedwithwarmfeeling.

  Didheevertransmittoyouthroughtouch?

  That was not his way with me. We communicated mostly through the eyes.

  Sometimes he touched my shoulder or hand, but our closeness was closer than all touching.

  We also walked together. He was an admirer and this appealed to my artistic nature.Helovedmusicandsingingandcouldimitatethesoundofanybird.

  Werethereanydisciplinesorexercisesthathetaughtyouduringthistime?

  Only to be aware of when conditioning comes in in daily life. He emphasized the problemofday-dreamingandstrategy-building.Healsoemphasizedthatoneshould

  never push away conditioning but only see it clearly, and he reminded me to constantlyrefertothefirstinsight,thefirstnon-experience.

  Youmean,torememberit?

  Goknowinglyinit,notrememberitintellectually.Itispresence,notamemory.

  Washeinyourthoughtsveryoften?

  IdidnotthinkofhimbecauseIcouldnotpersonify,objectifyhim.Therewasadeep

  feelingofoneness.Iwasnotatallattachedtohisphysicalbeing.Everythinghegave

  wasapearl.Itookitasapearlandlivedwithit.

  Thereweremanymomentswhenwewerejusthappytobetogether,nottalking,

  notthinking.Hispresencewasmypresenceandmypresencewashispresence.His

  being was the transmission. In a real teacher this is all transmission is. Any intentionaltransmissionissentimentality,romanticism.

  Would you say your approach was more jnani than bhakti, more the way of knowledgethandevotion?

  Yes.Notsomuch bhakti,ofcourse.Butallmyquestionswerecarriedbylove.Itwas never a dry, mental exercise. He also had a great intellect. Traditionally, when you 164

  areapanditthereisnothingyoumustnotknow.[laughs]

  Butyoucanonlycometoknowledgewhenthereislove,unconditionaladoration.

  AndhowdidyoumeetDibianandapuri?

  OnabusinBangalore.Hewasinastateof mauna(notspeaking).Wegotoutatthe same station and he took a little black-board out of his dhoti and wrote asking me where I came from and that he felt I was his brother. I said, “How can it be otherwise?”Thenhewrote,“Ifyouhavethetime,letusgoforawalk.”Sowewalkedand

  talked (he with his blackboard). He was living in a little Siva temple outside Bangaloreandwemetoften.HewasoriginallyfromPuriandhadlivedalongtimein

  Kashmir. We talked about the Kashmir teachings, how they emphasize the energy bodynotthephysicalbody.Thiswasmymainconcern.Iwasalreadyawareofthe

  energy body and regarded it, and not the bone-muscle structure, as the real body.

  Dibianandapuri confirmed and expanded my intuition and experience. He gave the energybodypriorityandshowedmehowallposturescouldbedoneindependentlyof

  thephysicalbody.

  DidyouseeotherteachersonthelevelofPandijiwhileyouwereinIndia?

  IsawKrishnaMenonfourorfivetimeslateron,and
foundhimhighlyablein vidya

  vritti,theformulationofwhatcannotbeformulated.Absolutelyabeautifulbeing.

  AndRamanaMaharshi?

  UnfortunatelyInevermethimbecausehepassedawayafewmonthsbeforeIarrived

  inIndia.

  SowhileyouwereadiscipleofPandiji'syouwereneverdrawntootherteachersfor clarification?

  There was no desire at all in me for that. I didn't go to India to find a teacher. The teacher found me. There's only one teacher. I quickly came to the conviction that there is nothing to teach and that what you are looking for doesn't belong to any teaching or “teacher.” So why look for anyone? It is the presence of the guru that showsthereisnothingtoteachbecausetheteacherisestablishedinthe“Iam.”SoI

  realizedthatonlythe“Iam,”notamindorabody,canbringyoutothe“Iam.”

  Howlongdidyouliveinthisway,seeingPandiji?

  Foraboutthreeyears.

  AndthenyouleftBangaloreandwenttoBombay?

  Yes,Iwentsightseeing.

  Andduringthisstaytherewasthemomentofenlightenment?

  Yes, it was a total switch-over from the residual conditioned state to the

  unconditionedstate.AwarenessexpandedcompletelyandIfeltmyselfinglobality.

  Hadthishappenedbefore?

  No.Therehadbeenglimpses,butthiswasmorethanaglimpse.Therewasnogoing

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  back.Ihadfoundmyrealground.

  Didyouknowinthemomentitselfthatitwouldbepermanentordidyoudiscoverthis inthedaysthatfollowed?

  Because of the quality of the switch-over there was no doubt that I could be again takenbyduality,andthiswasconfirmedinthedaysandweeksthatfollowed.Ifelta

  rectificationinmybodyandinmybrain,asifallthepartshadfoundtheirrightplace, theirmostcomfortableposition.Isawalldailyeventsspontaneouslyappearinginthe

  non-state,inmytotalabsence,realpresence.

  Could you say what were the exact conditions, physical and mental, before this moment:TheThreshold?

 

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