Frankie Fish and the Sister Shemozzle

by Helliar Peter

  Lou had long been swallowed up by the crowds now, so there was only one thing to do. Together, the boys rushed back to where Grandad was hunched over the suitcase, while Alexi looked on with great interest. (He had no idea what the suitcase was, but all the cogs and wires made it look extremely interesting.)

  Grandad had pulled the javelin out, revealing a nasty hole from which colourful sparks were spouting like fireworks.

  ‘Can you fix it, Grandad?’ asked Frankie, hopefully.

  ‘Let me put it this way, lad.’ The old man grimaced, ‘I hope ye like yer bunny robe and eating Greek salad because we may be stuck here for GOOD!’

  CHAPTER 20

  FRANKiE’S FED UP!

  ‘I don’t want to stay here forever!’ wailed Drew. ‘I have plans that don’t involve me wearing bedsheets for clothes.’

  ‘Same here!’ said Frankie, as wound up as an angry jack-in-the-box. Up until this point, he’d done a pretty good job of keeping calm. He’d put up with having to wear a ridiculous, bunny-covered toga. He’d coped with a brain-bending riddle and come up with a pretty good answer. He’d even managed to be patient with the God of Annoying, Alexi (apart from the little outburst about the missing Alessandro), while all the time, worries and complications kept piling up.

  Now it looked like the suitcase was damaged beyond repair, and it was just too much. So Frankie Fish lost it.

  ‘This is all Lou’s fault!’ he yelled, seeing red. ‘We’re only here because she ran away, and she’s not even a BIT happy to see us, and she’s messing around with the timeline, AND NOW she’s refusing to come home. I know she wants to prove that she’s not Saint Lou, but why couldn’t she have just handed in her homework a day late, or refused to eat her vegetables? We should’ve just left her here when we had the chance and GONE HOME!’

  Alexi turned to him, his face shocked. ‘You’d leave your sister here? Forever?’

  ‘Of course!’ said Frankie, grumpily.

  Alexi shook his head, as confused as a bear going in for a full-body wax. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to be left behind,’ he said. ‘But I do. I was abandoned on the doorstep of the Academy when I was a baby.’

  ‘People actually do that?’ said Drew, horrified. ‘I thought that was something people made up in books and movies.’

  ‘There was a note,’ Alexi said quietly. ‘It said my family couldn’t afford to raise me and begged the philosophers to take me in. It was in the saddlebag of the donkey they left me with.’

  ‘Alessandro?’ Drew guessed, proud that he had put this (it must be said, rather easy) puzzle together. ‘Wow, they pinned a note to the donkey.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Alexi, his eyes filling with tears. ‘He is not just a donkey, he is my oldest friend.’

  A lump formed in Frankie’s throat. He’d felt bad about Alessandro going missing, but he had been so determined to find Lou that he hadn’t given it much thought beyond that.

  ‘I’m sorry, Alexi,’ Frankie said gruffly, calming down a bit. ‘And I’m sorry for what I said about your donkey earlier, too. The truth is we don’t know where Alessandro is, but I promise we’ll find him before we return to Athens.’

  But Alexi was too lost in thought to hear him. ‘The philosophers are mostly kind,’ he went on, ‘but it’s not the same as having an actual family. If I had a sister – especially one as smart and interesting as yours – I would do whatever I could to convince her to come back home.’

  This got Frankie’s goat up again. ‘But she doesn’t want to come home,’ he pointed out angrily. ‘She doesn’t like us – especially not me.’

  Alexi shook his head. ‘You are wrong,’ he said. ‘Totally wrong. She used to talk about you all the time when she was staying at the Academy. She said I reminded her of you, because I did things that made her laugh.’

  ‘Lou said I make her laugh?’ said Frankie, astonished.

  Alexi nodded. ‘She said you were the funniest person she knows. And she said she admires the way you aren’t so caught up in pleasing people, like she is. That you can just be yourself. You know, maybe I should be the God of Listening one day …’

  Frankie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Lou admired him? He’d always thought she found him nothing more than a total embarrassment. He shook his head. ‘You’re making it up,’ he said. ‘She hates me. She hates me the way picnics hate rain.’

  ‘No, she doesn’t,’ said Drew thoughtfully. ‘Lou does stuff for you all the time. Remember when she brought you the Halloween costume? And when you missed out on coming on holidays with us after our school assembly prank, she called my parents and asked if you could come with us another time.’

  Frankie harrumphed at that, but he had nothing to say.

  ‘Here’s something else ye might not know,’ Grandad added. ‘When I asked Lou to join the Sonic Suitcase team, at first she said no, because she thought ye’d feel like she was muscling in on yer territory.’

  Frankie shuffled uncomfortably at this, because this was exactly how he had felt.

  ‘She’s also convinced ye don’t want her to come on any of yer, ah …’ Grandad paused, eyeing Alexi cautiously. ‘Yer happy travels.’

  Frankie was now feeling decidedly awkward. ‘Well, it’s not like I can do anything about it now,’ he grumbled. ‘She’s gone.’ It was strange. He was trying to stay mad at Lou, but his feelings of annoyance seemed to be slipping away.

  ‘Come on, let’s go and find her,’ said Drew. ‘She can’t have gone far. You have to sort this out.’

  ‘Plus,’ said Grandad, ‘she’s our only chance of fixing the suitcase. If we can’t get her back on our side, we’ll be stuck here forever.’

  GULP.

  CHAPTER 21

  BLUE LOU

  The group made their way out of the stadium and joined the crowd milling outside. Even more vendors were selling their wares now – people with trinkets and statues of athletes in various poses. Drew used one of his last few busking coins to buy a laurel-leaf wreath that looked like the ones awarded to the winning athletes. Then he promptly put it on his head, much to Frankie’s embarrassment.

  ‘Well, lad,’ Grandad said as he hefted the now-broken suitcase, ‘where shall we look?’

  At first Frankie’s mind was completely blank. What kind of places did Lou like to go to? Libraries. Museums. Art galleries. And then Frankie remembered he’d spotted a sculpture garden not far from the arena, against the breathtaking backdrop of Mount Olympus. That was exactly the kind of place Lou would go.

  He turned around until he saw it again. ‘We should look there,’ he said decisively, pointing it out to the others.

  ‘Good idea!’ enthused Drew. ‘Maybe Nanna’s sculpture is there too.’

  ‘Why on earth would it be there?’ roared Grandad suddenly. ‘Do ye think it would’ve trotted off on its own to join the other sculptures, like a carousel pony joining a pack of feral horses?’

  ‘Well, it’s worth a look, isn’t it,’ Drew replied sulkily.

  Grandad had to admit that this was true and the group headed off.

  The sculpture garden was not the easiest place to get to. The rocky paths were blocked with people coming and going, and with every step, Frankie’s worries grew. He was not at all sure that Lou had even come this way. And if she had, who knew if she’d still be around? Was this all for nothing?

  But when the group – all thoroughly tired and sweaty by now – finally reached the garden, Frankie spotted Lou right away. She was sitting on the base of one of the sculptures. Frankie said a lightning-quick prayer to himself, like a speed-reading praying mantis, that this time Lou would agree to return home with him.

  The sculptures were truly huge –some the size of two large adults standing on each other’s shoulders, all with enormous carved muscles. Lou looked very small in comparison. Her robes were dusty, and tendrils of her long hair had escaped from her hat.

  ‘Maybe I should talk to her this time?’ suggested Drew, but Frankie shook his head.


  ‘No, I’m her brother. I should do it. You guys wait here.’

  Grandad handed him the buzzing, flickering suitcase. ‘See if she can help with this,’ he said.

  Frankie tucked the suitcase under his arm, took a deep breath and strode over to Lou. She glanced up as he approached, and for a moment Frankie thought she was going to run away again. But although her look darkened, she stayed put.

  ‘You don’t give up, do you, Frankie?’ Lou said wearily as Frankie sat down beside her.

  ‘I learned that from you,’ replied Frankie with a wry grin. And as he said it, a memory flashed into his mind: Lou helping him ride a bike without training wheels when he was really little, even though she wasn’t much bigger than he was. She had run along beside him, holding on to the seat and cheering him on. Every time Frankie fell off (which was a lot), Lou had just picked up the bike and encouraged him to try again. And eventually he got it.

  ‘Lou, tell me the truth,’ Frankie said earnestly. ‘Do you really love it here?’

  Lou studied her little brother’s face like she was looking for a clue. ‘Yeah, I really do,’ she said, and Frankie noticed her voice had taken on a hard tone.

  ‘But you got thrown out of the Academy for being a girl, and you had to disguise yourself to enter the Olympics,’ Frankie pointed out. ‘Maybe this place isn’t ready for you yet.’

  ‘I still want to stay,’ said Lou in her tough new tone. ‘The future is dead to me.’

  Frankie felt a lump in his throat. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say to change Lou’s mind; it felt like somebody had poured wet cement into his brain. ‘Oh, OK then … well … I guess I should leave you alone.’

  Lou gave a quick nod but didn’t meet his eye. ‘Yep, I guess so.’

  Frankie got to his feet and smacked the dust off his toga. ‘I’ll say goodbye to Mum and Dad for you,’ he said, looking at the ground, because he knew if he looked at his sister right now he would cry. ‘Oh, and I just want you to know,’ he added, ‘I promise that I never did that prank with the flour.’

  Lou shrugged, and looked down at the ground. ‘Whatever, Frankie.’

  He took a deep breath, preparing to go – but then he decided to take one last shot. ‘Lou, there’s another reason I think you should come home.’

  ‘Because you’ll get into huge trouble if you go back without me?’ she said, sounding bitter.

  ‘No,’ said Frankie quickly, although there was also that. ‘The main reason is that … I would miss you.’ He felt his face go red.

  Lou swivelled around to look at Frankie, an amazed expression on her face. Then she cupped one hand behind her ear. ‘What was that?’ she said. ‘I didn’t quite hear it.’

  ‘I want you to come home because I miss you!’ said Frankie, louder.

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Lou. A smile had begun to twitch at the corners of her mouth.

  ‘Who else would play Parent Bingo with me?’ said Frankie, a smile twitching on his own face.

  (Lou had made bingo cards for long car drives. Whenever Tina Fish said ‘Who wants a butterscotch?’ or Ron Fish said ‘Pipe down in the back. I can’t hear myself think!’ they would cross these items off their cards.)

  ‘That would be kind of boring to play alone,’ agreed Lou.

  ‘And who would manage to convince Mum and Dad that in Miss Merryweather’s class a D was actually the best mark?’ he added. ‘Or that it’s healthy for kids’ rooms to be messy as it helps strengthen their immune systems?’

  A smile slowly stretched across Lou’s face. ‘I’d forgotten about that.’

  ‘It totally worked, too,’ said Frankie. He could see that Lou was softening, but he also knew there was something more he had to say – and he’d finally figured out what it was.

  ‘And anyway,’ he said, ‘I’d like you to come back so we can do some time-travelling together.’

  With that, Lou’s face lit up. ‘You mean that?’ she said. ‘You’d like me to come with you and Drew sometimes?’

  ‘Definitely,’ said Frankie, before adding hastily, ‘as long as it doesn’t have to be somewhere too educational.’

  Lou laughed. ‘OK, OK,’ she said, standing up. ‘I guess you’ve convinced me.’

  For the first time in a long time, Frankie felt the knot in his stomach properly loosen and unravel.

  ‘So, should we go home now?’ she said brightly.

  ‘Ah,’ said Frankie. ‘There’s just one problem with that.’ As if on cue, the Sonic Suitcase suddenly spluttered out an enormous, multicoloured shower of sparks from where it lay behind them.

  But with a determined look in her eye, Lou picked it up. ‘Let me see what I can do.’

  Phew!

  CHAPTER 22

  MS FIX-iT

  After a few minutes of tinkering inside the suitcase, Lou looked up with a grim expression on her face. ‘It’s no good,’ she said to Frankie.

  ‘No good?’ He gulped. ‘You mean you can’t fix it?’

  ‘Actually I’m pretty sure I can,’ said Lou, ‘but I can’t do it here. I’ll need to round up some stuff. There’s a village nearby. Let’s go down there and I’ll search for what I need.’

  Lou scooped up the case and then the siblings headed off to join the rest of the gang, who were hiding (not very well) behind the massive marble leg of a discus thrower.

  ‘Oh, hello there, Lou,’ said Drew, popping out and pretending to be surprised. ‘Fancy meeting you here!’

  Lou laughed and rolled her eyes, and both Grandad and Alexi gave her a hug. ‘You look much better without the beard,’ the kid said.

  ‘Hello, my little friend,’ said Lou in perfect Ancient Greek, rubbing his head affectionately as the padlock translated. ‘Where is Alessandro?’

  Before Frankie could explain, Alexi said bravely, ‘My donkey is taking a little break and I am as certain as the sun is hot that he will return when the time is right.’

  Frankie crossed his fingers tight and threw him a grin.

  The group hurried down the narrow path that led to the village, which was almost as crowded as the area around the Games. The shops were doing a roaring trade, and a number of travelling vendors had set up in the town square, displaying their wares on the ground.

  Lou darted between the shops and vendors, speaking rapidly to the shopkeepers in Ancient Greek and paying for things with coins she had stashed in a little drawstring bag around her neck. Before long, she returned to the group and laid out the things she’d purchased on the ground. Frankie felt his heart sink a little. The items seemed so random. There was a piece of string, a shard of pottery and some kind of thick paste that smelled terrible.

  The group squatted around the suitcase. The sparks had died down but the whole contraption was making an unpleasant popping, fizzing sound. When Grandad opened the lid and exposed its inner workings, things looked even worse. Broken wires curled out in all directions.

  ‘Are you sure the stuff you got will fix the suitcase, Lou?’ said Drew doubtfully.

  ‘Well, it’ll do most of the job,’ said Lou. ‘But I do need something to connect these,’ she added, pointing to two little cogs at the back of the case.

  ‘I’ve got some chewing gum,’ said Drew brightly.

  Grandad gave him a withering look. ‘The Sonic Suitcase is a state-of-the-art piece of technology, birdbrain. Do ye really think chewing gum could fix it?’

  ‘There are some pretty weird things in there already,’ Drew pointed out. ‘Isn’t that a toothbrush working the gears?’

  ‘For yer information, toothbrushes happen to work very well in this kind of machine,’ Grandad shot back.

  ‘You should all relax and trust Louicles,’ Alexi reprimanded them, looking with interest at the suitcase. ‘I do not know what this thing is, but I know she’ll be able to fix it.’

  Everyone went quiet as Lou and Grandad bent over the suitcase, muttering about the timessplactor node and the multidirectional dial. Lou replaced a broken rod with the sh
ard of pottery and tied it in place with the string. Then she used the foul-smelling black paste to glue some of the wires back into position. Then, with a sigh, she sat back. Her face was smeared with grease, and even more of her hair had escaped from her hat.

  ‘Have you fixed it?’ asked Frankie and Drew simultaneously.

  ‘Sort of. The glue needs to dry before I know for sure. Also, we need one last part,’ Lou said. ‘Something stretchy. And no,’ she added quickly to Drew, ‘chewing gum won’t do it.’

  Frankie groaned. They were so close getting back home, and so far away! Not to mention they had to stop stupid Lisa Chadwick and her stupid ponytail from getting into the Forbidden Shed. What if she was in there already, live-streaming what she’d found? What if –

  Wait. Frankie frowned, and then he snapped his fingers. ‘Lou,’ he said excitedly, ‘do you have your hair in a ponytail under that hat?’

  ‘Well, yes,’ said Lou, surprised. ‘Why?’

  ‘And did you use an elastic band to make that ponytail?’

  Realisation dawned on Lou’s face. ‘Frankie, you’re a genius!’ she declared.

  She yanked off the hat and pulled the hairband out of her hair. ‘This is perfect.’ Sure enough, the elastic band was just big enough – and stretchy enough – to link the two rogue cogs together. She leapt to her feet.

  ‘Come on!’ she cried. ‘It will hold for a bit – hopefully long enough to get us back home.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ demanded Alexi, looking both annoyed and scared. ‘Can I come too?’

  Everyone stared at Alexi in dismay.

  ‘We can’t just leave him here, can we?’ muttered Frankie to Lou.

  ‘No, we definitely can’t do that,’ Lou said firmly. ‘But the suitcase is already pretty shaky …’

  At that moment, there was a sudden shout from Grandad. ‘HEY!’

  Frankie whirled round to face him. Grandad Fish was purple in the face and trembling all over. He was trying to speak, but he was shaking so much it was impossible to understand him.