Notes on His Pillow

by Diana Currie

  I'm washing my hands and about to say I am ready to leave when the front door opens. I turn around with a smile expecting to see Adam has returned home early but am quite surprised to see my dad instead.

  "Dad? What are you doing here?"

  Dad rubs his hand over his face and looks right at Nadine. "When my wife comes to town it's big news. Three people have already called the church to tell me they've had sightings. I thought I should come see for myself."

  "It's true, I am here George," Nadine says cheerily as if her presence wouldn't be a shock to anyone.

  "You certainly are," Dad replies in a gruff voice. "How are you, Nadine?"

  "Doing just fine, thanks. You look well, George."

  My dad doesn't have a response for her. Instead he looks at me. "You guys having a party or something?"

  "No, Dad, actually we're all going back to my house for dinner. Would you like to join us?"

  Dad thinks for a moment. "Sure, that ought to be fun," he replies sarcastically.

  Nadine and Tommy both look at me a little stunned. What am I supposed to do, tell my dad to go home? I excuse myself for a minute and run upstairs with my hummingbird note pad to sit alone in Adam's room. My head is exploding with family drama and I just need to take a moment to collect my thoughts. I want to leave a personal note for Adam on his pillow since I might not get a chance to talk to him the rest of the day.

  Dearest Adam,

  I wish we could be eating this meal together tonight, but I have suddenly found myself surrounded by family members. I'll explain later, hopefully will be able to call you tonight but I'm not sure. I'll be thinking about our "lunch" together when I lay down to sleep tonight.

  Love, Amanda

  I fold the note in half and leave it in the middle of his pillow. After a few deep breaths I make my way out of his room and down the stairs to face my happy kids, my ex-husband, my estranged mother, and my incredulous father.

  Chapter Twenty Five: Visitor

  Have you ever had one of those perfect mornings when you wake up in a great mood? Today the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the kids have slept past seven am. Adam was here last night. He ate dinner with me and the kids at my house. We made love after the kids went to bed and I fell asleep in his arms. All of these things make for a perfect August morning. The only improvement I could think of would be if Adam was still here when I woke. Unfortunately, we thought it would be best if he snuck out of the house around five o'clock before the kids got up. I was drowsy when he left the bed but remember him kissing my forehead before creeping out of the dark room.

  As if that isn't enough wonderfulness in and of itself; it's been a week since Nadine flew back to Texas and my life is finally returning to normal. Well, my new normal, which I must say is too happy and amazing to be described as simply normal. I haven't been this happy in a long time and I think everyone around me is feeling the effects of my new positive outlook. The kids are doing well, Adam and I are in love, and even Tommy seems to be in higher spirits lately. I feel like a lot of missing pieces in my life are falling into place.

  Nadine was in Swainsboro for a little over a week and in that time Tyler and Gabby got to experience their grandmother in a way I never really did. She was different with them, loving and fun to be around. We had a few opportunities to talk and although we didn't resolve our issues I think some progress was made in starting fresh. I saw how good she was to the kids and thought that they deserve to have her in their lives despite my lingering bitterness and anger. She promised to call more and come back to visit at Thanksgiving. I'm not holding my breath that my mother will remember all these promises but if she does, I won't stand in her way of establishing relationships with her grandchildren.

  I'll get to see Adam at lunchtime, which is another reason why today is going to be great. The three of us are bringing him lunch to eat outside his office since the weather is so nice. I need to take the kids to the B&B first because I have one more summer vacation booking for the season and they check in Saturday. The booking is for a married couple who've stayed at Thatcher's a few times before so I want to make sure their stay is even better than they had the time before.

  "Tyler, can you help me with this stuff?" I call to my son from down in the basement. I need to restock toiletries in the bathrooms and bring fresh towels to the rooms.

  "What stuff?" he yells back from the top of the steps.

  "Tyler, please just come down and help your mom out!"

  He groans but descends the basement stairs, his sneakers thumping loudly with every step. I roll my eyes thinking sarcastically what a terrible mother I am for asking my five year old to help with one chore. When he reaches the basement floor I hand him one basket of white fluffy towels and smile brightly.

  "Why doesn't Gabby have to help too?"

  "Gabby is only three. I don't want her falling down the stairs or dropping something. You're my big boy now; strong enough to help me out sometimes."

  "I want to help," I hear Gabby call down from upstairs.

  I quickly grab another basket of towels and a box of toiletries before following Tyler up the steps. "I know you do, baby. You can help me pack lunch for the picnic, okay?"

  Gabby smiles happily. "Okay, Mommy!"

  "Let me just put all this stuff away and then we can decide what to bring for lunch," I tell her.

  "We should take juice boxes, and Oreos, and gummy worms!"

  "What about something healthy?" I suggest.

  Gabby thinks for a second. "Dr. Adam likes your buns."

  "What did you say?"

  "He did this. Yummy yum yum," she explains rubbing her tummy.

  Tyler laughs and my face turns pink. "You mean the cinnamon buns I made last night?"

  "Yeah," Gabby replies matter-of-factly.

  "You're right, he did like them, sweetheart, but I don't think they are very healthy with all that icing. How about we make some sandwiches and pick one or two snacks to bring?"

  "Okay," she shrugs and follows Tyler back into the living room after he abandons the towels in the kitchen.

  It takes me about an hour to finish prepping the guest rooms and bathroom for Saturday's check in. Gabby is waiting for me in the kitchen with new ideas for picnic foods to bring over to Adam. Together we pack a sensible lunch of tuna sandwiches, apples, water and juice boxes, and then some sugar packed snacks for afterwards. When the kids are ready to go I send a text message to Adam to make sure he's ready for lunch. When we arrive at the doctor's office he is already waiting outside for us.

  "Hey guys," he says to the kids as they hop out of the Honda. "Look, I found the perfect spot for us to eat."

  They run over to him as I grab the basket and blanket from my trunk. Adam has chosen a nice spot of grass off to the side of the building that is under the shade of the trees and not visible from the parking lot. We all sit down on the red and blue checkered blanket and I start taking things out of the basket.

  "How's work going?" I ask him.

  "A few seasonal allergy cases today, a sprained ankle, and two annual checkups. Busy day."

  "I'm glad you were able to get away for a few minutes for lunch."

  "I'll always make time for you. How did you sleep last night?"

  I blush a little and concentrate on unwrapping a sandwich. "Very well, thank you. And yourself?"

  Adam smiles. "Come to think of it, it was the best sleep I've ever had."

  Tyler bites into his tuna sandwich and chews quickly. "Dr. Adam, guess what?"

  "What, Ty?" he replies tearing his eyes away from me to focus on him.

  "I'm going to kindergarten in two weeks! 'Cause I'm five and that means I go to school now. Mommy says I take the bus too."

  "Wow! That's so cool. Kindergarten is a lot of fun," Adam says with enthusiasm.

  "Are you going to be there when I get on the bus?"

  "Sure, if you want me there. The first day of school is a very big deal," Adam replies.

  I hav
en't given Tyler's first day of school much thought other than how much money I'll save not sending him to daycare anymore so it surprises me that Tyler would expect Adam to be at the bus stop to support him. Luckily Adam seems to really want to integrate himself into the kids’ lives wherever possible. Until now he's been great about not stepping on Tommy's toes in any way, but Tommy might want to be at the bus stop that first morning too. I wonder how he would react to Adam's presence at one of his son's major life milestones? I suppose it's something we'll all have to get used to.

  "My friend Aiden is five too. Mommy, is he going to school?" Tyler asks.

  "He is, baby, but I'm not sure if he'll be in your class. There are two kindergarten teachers."

  Tyler takes another bite of his food as he considers that. I see Adam is watching me as he chews his own sandwich.

  "So, how's the house coming along?" I ask.

  "Good, right on schedule. Andrew was there a few days ago when they poured the foundation. Now the framing is going up so it's starting to look like a house, but it still has a long way to go. So many inspections and different contractors are involved; electricians, plumbers, and then Andy's crew. Some days it’s like a circus."

  "About four more months, right?"

  Adam nods. "Yeah, hopefully by the end of the year."

  "Let me know when the walls are up so I can visit."

  "Mommy, where are the worms?" Gabby interrupts as Adam is about to respond to me. He seems confused, searching around his spot on the blanket for slimy earthworms.

  "In the basket, Gabrielle. Finish you lunch and then you can have them."

  "But I'm full," she insists despite two thirds of her tuna fish sandwich remains on the napkin in her lap.

  "Then you don't have room for worms."

  "Yes, I do."

  "Finish your sandwich and then you can have your gummy worms," I say firmly.

  "No!" she whines.

  Tyler holds up his half eaten sandwich. "I'm almost done!"

  "Yes, you are. A few more bites and you can have your snack."

  Tyler smiles and Gabby pouts. "Gabby, just eat it and then you can have the worms. Healthy food first." She frowns but takes another tiny little bite. I mouth 'sorry' to Adam. "What were you going to say?"

  "It's okay, really. I was going to say when the drywall goes up and the site is a little safer than all of you can come see the house."

  I open my mouth to reply just as Tyler announces, "I'm done!" Adam laughs and I just shake my head. Talking with little kids present is sometimes impossible.

  Adam can only take thirty minutes for lunch so after eating our sandwiches and snacks it's time for him to go back to work. I stand up to shake out the blanket and Adam takes our trash to a nearby receptacle. Tyler and Gabby start chasing each other around now that they're hyped up on sugar. Thank goodness I'm taking them over to Tommy's after this.

  Adam walks back to me and purses his lips. "What?" I ask suspiciously.

  "Nothing, I just can't get over how beautiful you are."

  "How many of those gummy worms did you have?" I joke.

  "I mean it; you take my breath away sometimes. Come here, I can't go back in there without a kiss."

  Adam holds out his hand and I go to him willingly. We've shared a few innocent kisses in front of the kids during the past week. The first time was an accident and so far they've hardly noticed the development. I've seen how quickly the kids have taken to Adam and they seem more than happy to accept him. I know Adam hasn't officially declared that he wants to be a part of our lives long term, but more and more I find myself wondering what it might be like if he did.

  He says he loves me and I know he's serious about our relationship. I'm still a little worried about the issue of my kids having two father figures in their lives, but every day seems to get easier than the one that just passed. Adam places his hand on my lower back now and leans in for a good, solid kiss. Tyler stops running after Gabby long enough to yell out, "Ew! Gross!" but then goes back to their game of tag. We both smile as our lips separate and I sigh under my breath.

  "I love you," Adam whispers. "See you tonight?"

  "Yes, come over after work. And I love you too."

  When we leave Dr. Brickman's office I need to run a few errands. Tommy isn't home from the store yet so Tyler and Gabby come with me to the pharmacy and post office. Nikki is probably at his apartment but I don't feel good about leaving the kids with her alone yet so we dawdle at the pharmacy; checking all our blood pressures with the free machine in the back and browsing the toy isle.

  A few days ago Tommy and I talked about our budding relationships with Adam and Nikki. He said it was obvious to him that I was really smitten with Adam and he even admitted that I seemed happier than he's seen me in a long time. I know that was hard for him to say and it meant a lot that he was honest and open about how he felt about it. I felt like reciprocating was the right thing to do and told him that I'd always thought he and Nikki would make a better couple than we ever did. Tommy disagreed but said he was thinking more and more about them dating. I said I thought he should go for it.

  I say goodbye to the kids at Tommy's house a little after two o'clock and then head back to the B&B to make sure everything is spic and span. The married couple's room is ready to go and all of Adam's laundry is clean and folded. I'm thinking about what kind of sweet and sexy words I can leave on his pillow this afternoon when the front door opens unexpectedly. My married couple isn't due to check in until Saturday.

  A beautiful young woman comes through the door wearing skinny jeans, a low cut green top, and high heels. She pushes her sunglasses up to the top of her head and nestles them in the thick blonde locks that fall just below her shoulders in a soft natural looking wave. She's stunning and it isn't until she's walked fully into the hallway that I realize a small child is following her. The little girl can't be more than two years old and wearing a pink sun dress with daisies on it. She huddles shyly behind the woman's legs and pulls her dark hair over her face to hide it.

  Smiling I greet them both hoping to assure the toddler not to be afraid. "Hello, welcome to the Thatcher B&B. Can I help you?"

  The woman smiles back and opens her purse to retrieve a piece of paper with writing on it. She looks down at the paper and replies, "Yes, I hope so. Is this the only bed and breakfast in town?"

  "Yes it is. There's a hotel in Savannah but here in Swainsboro it's just us. Do you need to rent a room?"

  "I'm not sure yet. I'm looking for someone and I'm fairly certain he's staying here. Do you know Adam Brickman?"

  I frown, beginning to get a bad feeling about this woman. I need to know if she is some kind of family friend, or maybe she has something to do with the house Adam's building. Not many home inspectors dress so casually or take their children with them, but I remember how quickly I jumped to conclusions about Bianca. I don't want to get ahead of myself; I need more information before I start assuming anything about Adam's past or this woman's connection to him but something tells me she isn’t working for him.

  "Um, yes, I know Adam," I reply carefully.

  "Oh, thank goodness. It's a small world isn't it?"

  "Small town, actually. He's at work right now. Would you like to leave him a message?"

  "Do you happen to know when he'll be returning? We really need to speak to him," the woman says.

  A chill runs down my spine the moment this stranger utters the word 'we'. My eyes immediately dart down to the child who's still cowering behind the woman and I begin mentally calculating her age and probable date of conception. Three years ago Adam was with Lindsey. Could this be the mysterious ex-girlfriend Adam is still too upset over to tell me about? He's warned me that I don't know the whole story, but fathering a child would be one of the things you'd think he'd mention! He's given me so little information about his life in Chicago that I realize it's very possible this child is a missing piece of the puzzle; the reason Caroline and Gregory were so upset over Adam's
choices and their bizarre distaste for Lindsey.

  "When the office closes. After five," I say gritting my teeth. I walk over to the check-in desk and take a deep breath. There's only one way to find out if my fears are justified. "Uh, can I have your name please?" I ask. "And I'll need to see a driver’s license and credit card if you want a room."

  "Oh of course. I'm sorry. My name is Lindsey Beckett and this is my daughter, Chloe. Say hi to the nice lady, honey."

  I force a smile on my face and lean to the side a little to get a better look at the child. Her dark features don't resemble Adam's but the timeline fits. So does the woman's name. She hands me her information and I reluctantly enter her name into the guestbook. The address on her license says Chicago, Illinois and it is all I can do to keep from crying. My blood boils with feelings of betrayal and grief simultaneously as I try to appear calm and friendly.

  "Thank you. I'm the manager of the B&B and my name is Amanda. That's a very pretty dress, Chloe." The little girl smiles and looks down at her dress.

  "Oh, Amanda! I think Adam's mentioned you a few times," Lindsey says happily.

  "He's mentioned you too," I reply flatly.

  This information seems to please her and I have no idea why. From what little Adam has told me, their relationship was toxic and they broke up under bad circumstances. I can see how that would be possible now that I know there was a child involved. Somehow I manage to get through the check-in process and show them to the first floor room they'll be staying in. Lindsey only pays for one night and I am hoping that whatever business she has with Adam will be brief. I can't even imagine what her showing up here means for my new relationship with Adam. There are so many unanswered questions in my head and I don’t have time to think about how I feel about this bombshell that's been dropped on me.

  I help Lindsey bring in her bags from the rental car parked outside and offer them drinks. Lindsey accepts water gratefully and then excuses herself to change Chloe's diaper. She looks a little nerve wracked and suddenly I am overwhelmed with sympathy for this single mother. I don't know what pisses me off more: the fact that Adam hid a secret love child from me or that he abandoned her and her mother in Chicago. Angrily I take my phone out of my pocket and send a text to Adam.