Plays 5

by Tom Stoppard

  Hapgood Joseph, please explain to me about the twins.

  Kerner I just did but you missed it.

  Pause.

  Hapgood It’s crazy.

  Kerner (unmoved) Oh, yes … but compared to the electron it is banal … Yelizaveta, when things get very small they get truly crazy, and you don’t know how small things can be, you think you know but you don’t know. I could put an atom into your hand for every second since the world began and you would have to squint to see the dot of atoms in your palm. So now make a fist, and if your fist is as big as the nucleus of one atom then the atom is as big as St Paul’s, and if it happens to be a hydrogen atom then it has a single electron flitting about like a moth in the empty cathedral, now by the dome, now by the altar … Every atom is a cathedral. I cannot stand the pictures of atoms they put in schoolbooks, like a little solar system: Bohr’s atom. Forget it. You can’t make a picture of what Bohr proposed, an electron does not go round like a planet, it is like a moth which was there a moment ago, it gains or loses a quantum of energy and it jumps, and at the moment of quantum jump it is like two moths, one to be here and one to stop being there; an electron is like twins, each one unique, a unique twin.

  Hapgood Its own alibi.

  Kerner It upset Einstein very much, you know, all that damned uncertainty, it spoiled his idea of God, which I tell you frankly is the only idea of Einstein’s I never understood. He couldn’t believe in a God who threw dice. He should have come to me, I would have told him, ‘Listen, Albert, He threw you – look around, He never stops.’ What is a hamster, by the way? No, tell me in a minute, I want to tell you something first. There is a straight ladder from the atom to the grain of sand, and the only real mystery in physics is the missing rung. Below it, particle physics; above it, classical physics; but in between, metaphysics. All the mystery in life turns out to be this same mystery, the join between things which are distinct and yet continuous, body and mind, free will and causality, living cells and life itself; the moment before the foetus. Who needed God when everything worked like billiard balls? What were you going to say?

  Hapgood It’s like a fat rabbit with no ears.

  Kerner Oh yes. You mean a khomyak.

  Hapgood Yes, a khomyak called Roger. (Pause.) Joseph, after this thing with Ridley you’re blown, you know, your career will be over.

  Kerner Except as a scientist, you mean.

  Hapgood Yes, that’s what I mean, I won’t need you any more, I mean I’ll need you again – oh, sugar! – you know what I mean – do you want to marry me? I think I’d like to be married. Well, don’t look like that.

  Kerner What is this? – because of a photograph in my wallet? It is not even necessary, I never look at it.

  Hapgood Won’t you want to meet him now?

  Kerner Oh, yes. ‘This is Joe.’ ‘Hello, young man.’

  Hapgood (defiantly) Well, I’m going to tell him, whether you marry me or not.

  Kerner I’m not charmed by this. If I loved you it was so long ago I had to tell you in Russian and you kept the tape running. It was not a safe house for love. The spy was falling in love with the case-officer, you could hear it on the playback. One day you switched off the hidden microphone and got pregnant.

  Hapgood That’s uncalled for. I loved you.

  Kerner You interrogated me. Weeks, months, every day. I was your thought, your objective … If love was like that it would not even be healthy.

  Hapgood (stubbornly) I loved you, Joseph.

  Kerner You fell into your own honeypot –

  Hapgood (flares) That’s a damned lie! You unspeakable cad!

  Kerner – and now you think you’d like to be married, and tell Joe he has a father after all, not dead after all, only a secret, we are all in the secret service! – no, I don’t think so. And suppose I decided to return.

  That brings her up short.

  Hapgood Where? Why would you do that?

  Kerner Toska po rodine.

  Hapgood You mustn’t say that to me, Joseph. Please don’t say it.

  Kerner You would not tell.

  Hapgood I might. Take it back.

  Kerner comforts her.

  Kerner Milaya moya, rodnaya moya … it’s all right. I am your Joe.

  She suffers his embrace, then softens into it.

  Cad is good. I like cad.

  Hapgood Honeypot …

  Kerner Is that wrong?

  Hapgood Honeytrap. And anyway that’s something else. You and your books.

  Kerner I thought you would marry Paul.

  Wrong. Hapgood stiffens, separates herself.

  Hapgood I’ll see you tonight. And let Paul do the talking. Keep your end of it as simple as you can.

  Kerner Worry about yourself. I will be magnificent.

  Act Two

  SCENE ONE

  Hapgood’s office, evening. Blair sits in Hapgood’s place. Hapgood sits to one side. Ridley sits to the other side. They are waiting. When Ridley gets bored with this he opens his mouth to say something.

  Blair (mildly) Shut up, Ridley.

  The door opens and Maggs comes in with a potted plant, with card attached, and delivers it to Hapgood. She opens the little envelope and looks at the florist’s card, replaces the card and puts the envelope back where it started on the potted plant. Meanwhile Maggs receives a nod from Blair and leaves the room, returning immediately to let Kerner into the room. Maggs retires again closing the door.

  (Greeting Kerner) Joseph!

  Kerner Hello, Paul.

  Blair Sit here, won’t you?

  Kerner (turns to Hapgood) So. Something special.

  Hapgood ignores his glance. After a slight pause, Kerner takes the chair down-table opposite Blair.

  Blair This is a friendly interview. That’s a technical term. It means it is not a hostile interview, which is also a technical term. I’ll define them if you wish. (Pause.) Well, I won’t protract this.

  From a dossier he produces about half a dozen five-by-eight black and white photographs; pages from a typewritten document.

  Have a look at these, would you?

  He pushes them down the table to Kerner who spreads them face up in front of him.

  I’m afraid they’re not very good – photographs of photographs – but you can probably see what they are.

  Kerner Of course.

  Blair One of your regular reports on the anti-matter programme you’re running with the Centre for Nuclear Research in Geneva, April/May; copies to the main contractors, the Livermore Research Laboratory in California, through the SDI office in the Pentagon, travelling by embassy courier from Grosvenor Square; and copies to the Defence Liaison Committee, also by hand; both lots under the control of this office, where indeed the copies are made; a very limited circulation, fifteen copies in all, nine American and six British. In fact, however, these photographs are of a British copy. The white patches are the erasure of the circulation number printed on to each page ab origine. Washington adds an American circulation prefix, missing from these pages but not erased. All clear so far?

  Kerner Where did the photos come from?

  Blair Moscow. They were received in Washington two days ago from an American agent in place, not an American, of course; ‘in place’ means –

  Kerner Please, I am not illiterate.

  Blair The six British copies have a read-and-return distribution of eleven. That includes the Minister, the Liaison Committee and the Prime Minister’s box. It doesn’t include your lab, or this office where our copy is kept on file with the turnkeys.

  Kerner May I ask a question?

  Blair Yes, do.

  Kerner Why are you sitting in Mrs Hapgood’s chair?

  Blair That is a very fair question. The answer is that Mrs Hapgood isn’t here. Mr Ridley isn’t here either. They are on paid leave, which is why they can’t be with us this evening, and which is why this is a friendly interview.

  Kerner (laughs) Oh, Paul, have you broken the rules at last? – turned b
y a pair of pretty eyelashes?

  Hapgood Behave yourself, damn you!

  Blair (intervenes calmingly) Please … As you know, there is a regular traffic of monitored information going to the Soviets from this office, organized and prepared by Mrs Hapgood and Mr Ridley, and delivered to you for delivery to your Russian control. In other words a channel already exists. As a precautionary measure, Mrs Hapgood and Mr Ridley have been relieved of their duties. In the same spirit of caution rather than insinuation, your research programme will have to be interrupted for a while, in the national interest. Notice of your own suspension will reach you by messenger at eight o’clock in the morning.

  Kerner Paul, listen – you don’t know how many people get their hands on this … my lab – the Whitehall secretariat, the turnkeys, the Minister’s wife, his mistress – who knows? – also it could be an American Embassy copy before it receives the Washington prefix. There’s probably fifty, sixty people, the channel means nothing.

  Blair The pages were photographed on some kind of table-top, I expect a little hurriedly as is often the way in these affairs. The last page – photograph number six – is not well framed. You can see how it happens: the pages were pinned together at top left and turned over one by one, and the five turned pages have twisted the sixth page a little askew. The frame has caught the edge of a further document lying underneath.

  He reaches into his dossier again and produces another photograph which he slides down the table.

  This is the enlargement. It is in fact a set of angular distributions of neutron production on a uranium target in a cyclotron, whatever that may be and I don’t want you to tell me. The important point is that taking the two documents together, we are talking about something which has a circulation of three, which is why I thought I’d bring you together for a chat, just between ourselves for a moment.

  He includes Hapgood and Ridley who stay expressionless.

  I’m sorry it’s awkward for you and Mrs Hapgood but these things have to be faced.

  Kerner (indicating Ridley) What about him? Isn’t it awkward for him?

  Blair Yes, but not in isolation. For reasons I can go into if you wish. Ridley – Mr Ridley – and Mrs Hapgood are tied together on this one, for better or worse. (Pause.) Well, I’ll explain, then.

  Kerner No, it is not necessary. (He pushes the photographs back towards Blair.) Not hurried, only careless.

  Hapgood (just conversation) Joseph, don’t do this. I don’t need it. Tell the truth.

  Kerner The truth is what Paul knows it is.

  Hapgood (to Blair) He’s lying to you because he thinks it’s me.

  Blair waits. Hapgood starts to lose control of her tone.

  Oh, wake up, Paul! Why would he? (to Kerner) Why would you? Why would you give away your work?

  Kerner Because it’s mine to give. Whose did you think it was? Yours? Who are you? You and Blair? Dog-catchers. And now you think I am your dog – be careful the dog didn’t catch you.

  Hapgood Don’t give me that! (to Blair) He’s straight, you know damn well he’s straight – he’s my joe!

  Kerner (laughs, not kindly) Pride. And your certainty is also amusing – you think you have seen to the bottom of things, but there is no bottom. I cannot see it, and you think you are cleverer than me?

  Hapgood (heatedly) He’s a physics freak and a maverick, the Russians picked him for this because he had a good defector profile and he didn’t fool us, he fooled them, he despises the Soviets, he’d never play ball and he has no reason to. He has no reason – give me his reason.

  Kerner They found out about Joe.

  Pause. Hapgood poleaxed, as it were. Blair stays level.

  Sorry.

  Blair How?

  Kerner I don’t know.

  Blair When?

  Kerner More than a year. They came to me and said, ‘Well, so you have a child with your British case-officer.OK – congratulations, we were stupid, but now it is time to mend the damage. For the sake of the boy.’

  Blair What did they mean by that?

  Kerner What do you think, Paul? I didn’t ask. (to Hapgood) I had to, Lilya.

  Hapgood Joseph. All you had to do was tell me.

  Kerner That is naive. (to Blair) Not just the normal reports. You should know this.

  Blair What else?

  Kerner My programme.

  Blair This trap business?

  Kerner They had the trap, they had the laser optics for handling the particles. They couldn’t put it together – nobody could put it together because when you cool it to near-absolute zero –

  Blair Joseph – get to it.

  Kerner Everything was halted, it was like needing two trains to arrive together on the same line without destroying each other.

  Blair So it couldn’t be done?

  Kerner Oh, yes. Like many things which are very difficult it turned out to be not so difficult if you have the right thought. These things are not, after all, trains, they travel at nearly the speed of light, and they are very small, so they can do things which are truly crazy. I was fortunate to have the right thought, and now it was possible to make an experiment with my thought. I worked out the programme for this.

  Blair Did they know that?

  Kerner No, we are speaking at last summer. June. But last month was the Geneva test and my programme was good. It could not be contained, of course; a good result is the gossip of the scientific world, and it was the end of the dance for me and my Soviet control. They said I had lied, broken the bargain, they said it was an ultimatum now, or they would take my son, and they absolutely would have taken him.

  Blair So you gave it to them.

  Kerner Of course.

  Hapgood Paul –

  Blair I know. Let me. (to Kerner) But the only meet you’ve had since your Geneva test was yesterday.

  Kerner I mean yesterday. At the pool.

  Blair At the pool? How did you deliver?

  Kerner On disc.

  Blair But that was a chickenfeed disc – we cleared the printout.

  Kerner No, it was on the boot-tracks.

  Blair Explain that.

  Kerner The normal readout was the chickenfeed. There was a key-code for the hidden files.

  Hapgood stands up.

  Blair (to Hapgood) Stay calm. (He presses the intercom.) Maggs – come in.

  Kerner What is the matter?

  Maggs enters from his office.

  Blair (calmly) Oh, Maggs … get Mrs Hapgood’s son to the phone, would you? – headmaster, matron, anybody, but fast.

  Hapgood unfreezes.

  Hapgood I’ll call the payphone, his dorm hasn’t gone up.

  Kerner It’s all right – they don’t want him now –

  Blair Go, Maggs!

  Maggs But Joe isn’t there, sir … Merryweather came back. Joe wasn’t in school – he had permission … well, Mrs Hapgood sent for him to be picked up, the driver had a letter –

  Blair Merryweather?

  Maggs He came back at about half past three. (to Hapgood) I’m sorry … I didn’t know you’d be out – it’s in your box –

  Hapgood Oh, Christ, Maggs.

  Blair (to Maggs) Go and check.

  Maggs goes out. Hapgood has found Merryweather’s message in her in-tray. It is in a sealed envelope which she opens.

  Kerner But I gave them everything –

  Blair I’m afraid not –

  Kerner Yes I did – I delivered –

  Blair Stop talking, Joseph – we intercepted your delivery, they never got your disc.

  Kerner You blowed it! You bloody fool!

  Ridley seems to be out of it. He approaches the desk and picks up the photoframe and looks at it for a moment.

  Ridley (to himself) God Almighty.

  Blair goes to the door and opens it.

  Blair (shouts) Maggs!

  Hapgood (calmly enough) He isn’t there, Paul. (She has been looking at the contents of Merryweather’s message.)

  Kerner
(to Hapgood) They won’t hurt him, they’ll want to trade.

  Blair I know that but we can’t trade. (to Hapgood) He’s not harmed, he’s in a safe house with babysitters – you know that. They’ll find a way to talk to you but it won’t even come to that – it’s a local initiative and a stupid one, it’s going to be stopped from the Moscow end, I promise you, the diplomatic route and no nonsense –

  Kerner (loud) Don’t do that – they can’t admit to a thing like this.

  Blair You’re out of it now –

  Kerner You will put them in a corner –

  Blair Then they can crawl out of it –

  Hapgood For God’s sake shut up!

  It has become a row.

  Ridley Why don’t we just give it to them? What does it matter? Wait for the call and make the trade. If it comes tonight make it tonight, a kid like that, he should be in bed anyway, we can all get some sleep.

  Look, what are we talking about? Are we talking about a list of agents in place? Are we talking about blowing the work names? The cover jobs in the Moscow Embassy? Any of those and all right, the boy maybe has to take his chances. But what has Kerner got? (derisively) The solution to the anti-particle trap! Since when was the anti-particle trap a problem?

  For a moment Blair wavers. Then –

  Blair Shut up, Ridley. (to Hapgood) I’ll take that disc.

  Ridley Don’t give it to him.

  Blair Ridley, you’re out of line.