Reluctant Surrender

by Riley Murphy

  “No crossing your arms over these,” he whispered, brushing a hand over one breast before he moved to the other and gave her erect nipple a tweak. “So far so good.”

  She willed herself to remain calm, focused, until she heard the bleep of static and a muffled voice coming, no doubt from his earpiece. The reality that there were men watching him doing this hit her hard and she gasped.

  “Easy.” He steadied her because she’d also swayed. “They only want me to turn you slightly to the right. That’s all. There’s the cutest little beauty mark on one of your killer hips and they want to get a better look. Relax.”

  This time when he took down her panties she fought the surge of nervous adrenaline that snaked through her and gave herself over to him completely. She expected to feel guilt or remorse, maybe even shame, but all she felt was blessed freedom. An exhilarating rush of pleasure knowing there was nothing she could do about her situation. That he was in charge of it and taking care of her. She didn’t need to think. Worry or stress. All she needed to do was pay attention to what he wanted, because what she wanted at the moment was just that. To give him what he wanted and to please him.

  “There.” The elastic of her undies snapped against her thigh and when she startled he ordered, “Stay still. You’re doing very well. We’re almost done.”

  And so was she. She’d never been more turned-on in her life. Breathing became an erotic experience as the air filling her lungs was expelled, warmed from being inside her, the molecules caressed her lips as they departed. She feared if he touched her again she’d fall apart. Just knowing he was behind her, examining every naked inch of her, except the area on her thighs where her panties clung, did it for her in an integral way that was humbling.

  “Very good, baby girl. I’m so pleased with you right now,” he whispered as he righted her panties. “It seems you were telling the truth all along.”

  “Yes.” She quivered and then sighed when his big, strong hands grasped her hips. “Please…”

  “Please what?” He pulled her sharply up against him. The heat, the hardness of him was intoxicating. But then his hands let go of her and his arms banded around her. Imprisoning her. Holding her. Securing her. Her back melted into his front.

  “I don’t know.” It was the truth. She should be demanding he let her go. Let her get dressed and leave the room with some sense of her pride still intact, yet she didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to go. She wanted something. Something more than his frank but distant attention. Something more personal and to prove it she restlessly shifted her bottom against his groin in blatant invitation.

  “I know. I know what you want.” He dropped his arms and she almost cried out until he took hold of her hips again and leaned in low saying, “Touch yourself. I want to watch you slide both your hands into the front of your panties and do it.”

  Her heart skipped a beat and her knees wobbled. Lord knows she wanted to but the reality was… “I-I don’t think I can.”

  “Do it. For me. Only me. Trust me.”

  She quaked with those words and leaned more fully against him.

  “They can’t see.”

  Her palms rested awkwardly against the front of her thighs because she was hesitant and unsure. She tried to imagine herself doing as he asked and every time she thought she could handle it some internal no button buzzed, defeating her.

  “Do you need my help?” He breathed in her ear. The words electrifying and intimate. As if they shared a secret connection that was theirs and no one else’s. And, he was offering his help to her.

  “Yes.”

  “Lean your head back on my shoulder. That’s right.” He curled down over her and his hands captured hers. “Let me show you how good it can be.”

  His skin was rough against hers. His fingers powerful, precise, as he guided. Up her thighs to her hips and down into her panties. Slowly, he pushed both her hands lower and lower still until her fingers met between her legs in an erotic press that dug into her moist and thrumming flesh.

  “Trust me, baby girl.”

  She groaned.

  “Easy. We use this hand to create better access. Like this.”

  He moved their left hands in such a way that she was spread and open.

  “And we use this hand to stimulate. Like this. No, not so hard. Light and slow. Really slow. Give your wicked little body time to heat.”

  Heat? She was on fire and almost ready to explode. Never. Never in all her life had she ever reached these acute contractions so quickly. Nor had they clenched and burned so badly. Making her breathless. Boneless. Blood rushed and her heart pounded. The air was getting thin and the delicious scent of him wrapped around her while he whispered in her ear.

  “That’s right. Move into it. Beg for it. Work it. You’re doing so well.” His words fueled the ache that swelled and built from her toes to her knees, landing with an exhilarating ache right underneath her fingers. “Feel that slide. You’d be a slick ride if I…”

  From a distance she heard static. With a muffled swear he eased his hands from hers. She held her breath until it burst out the moment he stepped back and spoke, but not to her.

  “I know. You’re right. Give me a minute.” He sighed. “I will.”

  “Ethan?” She refused to turn around, keeping her back to the mirror while her arms covered her chest. “What’s the matter?”

  “Here, Colin.” Handing over her clothes, he asked, “Do you need help dressing?”

  “N-no.” When she was done, she faced him. Her tone was glacial as she glared. “That was mean.”

  “Mean?” He came forward and pulled her into his arms. “You bring out the best in me, baby. I want to do nasty, filthy things with you. I probably would have if my two buddies back there weren’t into it too. Would you do all three of us, Colin? One at the front, one at the back and one of us buried balls-deep in your mouth?”

  She gasped. “Let go of me.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.” She couldn’t believe he actually said no. Truth be told it gave her a thrill, but she still had the auto-reflex to challenge him.

  “Aren’t you mad right now because I did let you go? Isn’t that why you’re angry?”

  She tried to turn her head aside. She didn’t want to look at him, but one hand captured her chin and forced her to meet his gaze.

  “Let me go.”

  “I’ll never let you go. Now that I know the truth, we’re going to do things my way. When my boys aren’t with me and we get some serious alone time together, understood?”

  “What?” In a panic she realized she’d forgotten they were acting out this whole scenario. That this wasn’t Ethan, Ethan, this was tapas that she’d mixed up with real life. Real feelings and real emotions. Wonderful emotions. Liberating ones.

  He bent down and kissed her collarbone and neck. “I saw the mark. I know it was you.”

  His tongue was paying some serious attention to the shell of her ear. His breath annihilating her willpower as each raspy exhale released against her lobe and made her quiver. “No, I-I—”

  “Give it up. You’re mine now and every filthy thing I’ve dreamed of doing to you—with you—I intend to do, but not with an audience. At least not yet. So here’s how this ends. You leave and I’ll square up with my buddies who are satisfied that you weren’t the one who betrayed Allen. Tonight? Expect company. Leave your back door open and we’ll pick up where we left off.”

  He released her and she fell back a pace or two. “I—” Looking at the mirror, she decided. “Okay. All right. I’ll go. But I want to be clear about one thing. I’m no snitch.”

  “I know. Leave your back door accessible tonight.”

  She stumbled to the door and fought with it. The damn lock was stiff.

  “Colin?”

  Opening it, she stopped. She didn’t turn around though.

  “I want you in nothing but those panties when I get there.”

  She was hyperventilating when she mad
e it out into the brightly lit hall. Her head and heart swirling with all kinds of possibilities, discoveries and theories. The most prominent one? She could easily fall in love with a powerful, commanding and self-possessed guy like Ethan White. How had this happened?

  “Colin?”

  She looked up and inwardly groaned. He was to-die-for and she was ready to slit her wrists and do just that. “Uh-huh.”

  “Are you doing okay? That wasn’t too much for you was it?”

  She shook her head. How could she tell him it wasn’t enough?

  “You did a great job. You’re really getting the hang of this.”

  She didn’t know what to say to that. She needed time. She needed some distance so she could process everything that just happened and how she felt about it. She was ready to tell him so when he said it for her.

  “Let’s go back to the boathouse. I’ll make you some lunch and then I want you to write down how you’re feeling about all this. When you’re done with that we’ll read it together and discuss it.”

  She nodded, even though there was a little voice inside her head screaming, Read it together? Not in this lifetime! She figured she’d cross that bridge when she came to it and let the matter drop. She had more important things to worry about. Like how not to get lost in the experience and exactly how many people besides the two of them were privy to their arrangement.

  “Come on.” He held out his hand and smiled that killer smile. “Let’s go.”

  Her feet literally dragged as he pulled her along. She couldn’t help it. She was ready to bite the bullet and deal with her anxiety. “W-what about your friends? Are they coming for lunch too?”

  God she hoped not. She’d die of embarrassment. She was so caught up with the possibility she didn’t see him stop and bumped right into him.

  He caught her. “Friends? Behind the two-way mirror you mean?”

  She nodded.

  “Honey, you’re not ready for that kind of exposure yet.”

  She waited as he locked the doors. “You’re leaving them in there?”

  “No,” he drew out, stuffing his keys in his pocket before he turned. “I’m leaving them in here.” He tapped the side of her temple with a grin.

  She blinked and then her eyes widened when it dawned on her. Wow. “You made them up?”

  “So did you. The mind is the greatest sexual organ in the human body. Control that and you’re halfway to erotic heaven without a touch. But I don’t want to talk about this right now. I want to make you some lunch then we can discuss it.”

  “But the static—the murmur of voices—the earpiece…” She hurried after him down the steps. “Hey, where are you going?”

  “Stay here. I’m going to get a golf cart to take us back.”

  She stopped on the bottom step and even though he was at ground level she still had to look up at him. “Why? You worried about my shoes? I’ll be careful with them.”

  “No, I’m not worried about the shoes.” He tucked her curls behind an ear and said, “It’s the feet inside them that I don’t want damaged.”

  His I-could-eat-you-up expression turned her insides to jelly. She wasn’t sure she made a sound when she meant to say, “Oh.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about all this later. Right now, it’s time for food.”

  She felt like a ninny, standing there on the step drooling over him as he walked away. A complete ass, and before she could stop herself her inner brat came out as she grumbled, “There better not be any kale chips.”

  He didn’t break stride or even turn when he chuckled. “Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart. And because you’ve been such a good girl remembering, I’m going to reward you with double what I gave you last night.”

  Freaking hell, did the guy have supersonic hearing?

  “I’m not going to eat them,” she muttered, stepping down.

  “Yes you are.”

  Yep, supersonic all right. Wait, what was she doing worrying over his hearing? She should be more concerned about his other super attributes that were sure to distract her during their upcoming discussion. Suddenly she was wishing he’d stack her plate full of those chips because having to choke them down would postpone the ever-loving agony she was sure said discussion would put her through. Damn.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After lunch Ethan sent Colin into the office to work on her assignment. He’d taken the time to outline what he expected from her and judging from the flack he’d gotten over it, it was going to take her the whole afternoon. The look on her face had been priceless. He was still chuckling over it when his cell rang.

  “Hi, Ted, what’s doing?”

  “Is that you, E?”

  “Of course.”

  “Haven’t heard you this chipper since—well, a long time. I’m guessing things with frosty are going good?”

  “Yes, things with Colin are fine.” Ethan sat on the arm of the couch and asked, “Are you all settled in?”

  “Sure, the cabin’s great. I forget how quiet it is up here. It’s nice.”

  “I want to thank you for coming up. I’m thinking I may need you to stop by tomorrow or the next day. I’ll know better later.”

  “Sure thing. Listen, I just spoke with David. He didn’t want to mention it to you, but I am. Jade’s back in town and he saw her having lunch with Alistair yesterday.”

  “And?”

  “Afterward she went to the club. She was looking for you. Angelo she said was asking a lot of questions. Specifically questions about your new sub.”

  “Fuck.” Although he was surprised she’d made the trip from Minneapolis, he wasn’t surprised she was dining with Alistair. He was her go-to person when she wanted to get information on him.

  “I thought it better you should know, than not.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “Hold on, there’s more. I just got off the phone with her. She knows you’re up here. She said she came because she wants you to publically Top her on the thirtieth. She heard about the event and wants an invite. She knows the theater will be packed with visiting Doms and said since you were the one who blackballed her until she completed her therapy, the open event at The Carlyn will be her coming out.”

  “What? I’m not participating.”

  “I think you better. She’s determined. She said you owed her a reintroduction.”

  Reintroduction my ass. “I’ll take care of this.”

  Ethan put a call in to Alistair and pressed him.

  “But did she say what she was planning?”

  “No, she wants to discuss it with you first. I told her where you were. I hope you don’t mind. She said she wanted to do it in person.”

  Of course he minded, but there was nothing he could do about it now. “I’ll wait to hear from her.”

  He hung up and stared at his cell. Should he call her? Preempt her showing up unannounced? Hell yes. He pressed speed dial and was mildly surprised she didn’t answer. Jade always answered his calls. Now, admittedly, they’d been sparse over the last year, yet when he did call she’d normally pick up.

  He left her a detailed message and then clicked off with a sigh. She better not be attempting to insinuate herself back into his life. He’d hoped after therapy she’d be better able to cope with her past, their parting and the reasons behind it. He’d stayed with her as long as his presence helped her. Even when they were no longer sexual partners he’d stayed, determined to help her work through her issues until those issues had become too big for him and threatened not only her well-being, but the well-being of the community as a whole. That’s when he insisted she enter therapy and to ensure she stayed in counseling he’d put the word out that she was not to be Topped until she was mentally capable for it. Probably not the best advertisement he could have stuck on her, but at the time he’d had little choice in the matter. Safety came first.

  He thought back to his conversation with Ted and wondered. Had Jade come all the way here in the h
opes that Ethan would pick up the whip on the night of the thirtieth and prove to the crowd she was capable of being Topped again or did she have other reasons for coming?

  He left off wondering about that and handled a few business things. When he was done he watered his orchids and had just taken out the recycling when Colin sauntered into the kitchen and announced she was done.

  Taking one look at the opened file on her laptop, he frowned. “That’s it? This is everything? All you wrote?”

  She peered over his shoulder and pursed her lips. Apparently satisfied with what she saw, she answered, “Yup.”

  “You’ve been working on this for two and half hours. How is it that you only have three sentences done?”

  She reached around him and tapped the screen. “There’s four there. See?”

  “Colin.” He twisted on the stool to look at her and was glad that she’d responded to his tone. Her gaze dropped to the floor and her cheeks reddened. He spoke more softly this time. “I wanted to discuss your thoughts and opinions about what we did this morning.”

  She looked up, hopeful. “We can do that without me writing them down, can’t we?”

  He stared at her for a moment before he brushed a wayward strand of hair off her cheek and sighed. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Don’t whine, Colin. I don’t like it.”

  She shifted from one bare foot to the other and then took a deep breath. “All right.” Rolling her shoulders, she got comfortable. Her tone was even this time. “Why can’t we have a discussion without me having to write a sexual essay for you?”

  He stared at her.

  “I mean…” She looked away and he waited her out. “If there’s no good reason, I don’t want to do it.”

  “Does it make you uncomfortable writing out such intimate and private thoughts that I’ll be able to read over and over again at my leisure?”