Reluctant Surrender

by Riley Murphy

  “Meh, easy.” If her hair weren’t plastered to her scalp he imagined she would have flicked it. “I didn’t want to call you Sir because I had a mental block about the Sergeant. But then I was drooling over sucking your dick. And faced with the prospect of weighing the cost verses benefits? I went with the huge benefits.”

  He kissed her for no other reason than she was an original. Adorable. His.

  “I’m sorry that a man you trusted did something like that to you.”

  “Thanks, I just wished I’d remembered sooner. What if he did that to other girls?”

  “Once you told, you put him on notice, but I can have Alistair check things out. I doubt the guy is still working in the same place, but you never know.”

  “That would be great. I’m sure my dad would remember the name.”

  It went quiet then, except for the hiss of the spray. He didn’t want her withdrawing from him, so he returned to a lighter topic.

  “Huge benefits, huh?”

  “Mm-hmm.” She shifted her bottom in his lap and grinned when she connected with his semi-hardness. “Is that a gun between your legs or are you just happy to see me?”

  He mouthed the word “wow” and then said, “Lame.”

  “It’s surprising how good I feel. I guess it’s good to unlock the cell door once in a while.” She winked and gave him another bum snuggle. “How about we play a game of hide the salami?”

  Suddenly his semi-hardness went rock hard. To counter this reaction he mockingly dropped his jaw and she laughed. “Hey, you wanted lame, I gave it to you.”

  The sassy little thing. He spread his knees and she fell between them. She’d barely gotten out a gasp when he buried his hand in her hair and pulled, tilting her head back. He waited for her wide eyes to meet his gaze before he whispered, “What can I give you? How about some salami?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The next morning Colin got over her disappointment at finding Ethan gone because once she was dressed in one of his dress shirts and foraging for some coffee, she saw that he’d left her not only a note, but a gift on the kitchen counter.

  Good morning, baby girl,

  You were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you. My noontime meeting has been pushed up and I hope it won’t take too long. Maybe we can go for a boat ride. I want to show you something. Until then, I thought after you did your post this morning you’d like to do some reading. I bought this for you. I hope you like it.

  E.

  Colin carefully undid the paper wrapping and pushed it off the cover. The book was finely bound in black leather and the gilt title embossed across the front and down the spine, Eighteen Poems by Dylan Thomas, felt glossy when she ran her fingers over it.

  With a deep breath she gently opened the cover and found the letter of authenticity inside. Ethan remembered what she’d said about the poems she and her mother had shared. He’d remembered and he’d gone out of his way to buy her a first edition of some of her favorites.

  She wasn’t going to get all weepy, but she did. Between this and how tender he’d been last night she couldn’t help it. Last night had been soul-soothing and this? This was soul-melting. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her. She couldn’t wait to read some of these, but first she needed to get her to-do list done. With coffee and cell phone in hand she headed into the office to deal first with Casper, then Jo and her real estate broker before she checked on yesterday’s comments and wrote today’s post.

  The conversation with Casper was not only short, but totally surprising. He was going to stay at his sister’s an extra four days as he’d been signed up for a bridge tournament and was enjoying the heck out of himself. It made Colin wish the old guy had enough insurance and savings to be able to stay in a community like that full time. There was something to be said for the company of one’s peers. The fact that he was willing to brave the man-slayer for these extra few days proved it.

  Jo was her usual self. Funny, exasperating and nosy. Thank God Racy Lacy, a.k.a. “The Doc” was coming home today. She’d been in Sweden learning some new surgical technique for canine dysplasia and once she was rested and back in the groove she’d keep Jo busy.

  When she got her real estate agent’s voicemail again, she couldn’t deny being worried. Ben always answered his phone and by now he should have some kind of response from the bank on Wakefield. She’d put in her highest and best offer nearly two weeks ago. What if— No, she wasn’t going to be negative. That decided, she opened her laptop and went to work. She’d gotten through two comments in her previous post and panicked.

  Both accused her of being in love with the sexy Dom. What the hell?

  She reread the post she’d written about him yesterday and wanted to die. Although she hadn’t overtly come out and typed the phrase, I’m in love with Ethan White it was there buried in her words and her readers knew it. She was just plotting some damage control when her cell phone went off. It was Ben.

  “Hi, Ben.”

  “Colin.”

  Her heart sank. “This doesn’t sound like it’s going to be good news. They want more money, don’t they?”

  “No.”

  Maybe he was fooling with her. Pretending it was going to be bad news when it was really good. Her pulse started to pick up speed. “No?”

  “Colin, they accepted another bid. A German winery bought it. I’ve tried to get in touch with their representatives to see if they’d considered selling to you, but you do know that’s about as likely as lightning striking six times in the same place.”

  Colin didn’t know what to say. It had been over a year that the bank had Wakefield for sale. It wasn’t until three months ago that they’d reduced the price enough to put it within reach of her price range. But now to know it was lost and probably for good? “A German…?”

  “I’m sorry, Colin. Really. I know how much you wanted the place.”

  By the time she hung up she was still reeling from the sense of loss and knew she’d never be able to handle doing a post now so she shut down her laptop and picked up her phone again. Normally she’d call Jo or Doc at a time like this, but the only one she wanted was Ethan. She dialed his number and heard his cell ring in the kitchen. That’s when she remembered he’d said his meeting was at The Carlyn. She looked for the sticky note he’d left for her that first day with the mansion’s number on it, but couldn’t find it. Oh well, maybe by the time she got changed and headed up there he’d be done with his meeting. She hoped so because she really needed a hug.

  * * * * *

  Ethan was screwed and he knew it, but he let Jade continue.

  “Your reputation will precede you by the time I’m through. I know how much it means to you and I’ll wreck it, I swear. I’m sure the papers would love to get their hands on this.”

  When she pulled the papers out of her purse, Ethan accepted the contract and flipped through it. “I never signed this. You may have drawn it up, but it means nothing. A three-year-old slave contact with no covenant.”

  “I had it recorded. Not that it matters. The only thing people will see are the terms. You remember those terms don’t you, Ethan? Weren’t they too hardcore for you? Isn’t that why you turned me away? Won’t your prospective clientele be interested to see what kind of a Master is running their resort?”

  Ethan didn’t care about what people thought of him and he was just about to tell her so when she added, “By the time I’m done, this will be spinning out of control. They’ll be visualizing your little vanilla doll as your new pet. How do you think that will work for her? She’s tried so hard to keep herself out of the spotlight. Why is that?”

  “Keep her out of this. This is between you and me.”

  “Really? I don’t think so.” Jade was too cocky. Too confident. It didn’t bode well for Ethan winning the day. In fact he knew he’d been defeated when she said, “If you don’t give me what I want I’ll out her for being Riling Rita.”

  He hid his surpri
se that she knew about this. Maybe he could downplay the importance even as he wondered how she’d discovered it. The only way they’d found out the truth was to put Ted’s better-than-CIA investigators on the job. Jade didn’t have that kind of pull and no one Ted hired would ever divulge information. He’d worry about this later, right now it was time to contain this fast-combusting situation.

  “So you know about that.”

  “Oh, don’t pretend it’s no big deal. We both know it is. Just imagine, what those higher-end clients of hers think about this. I hear tell she snapped the shots of the governor’s granddaughter’s first birthday party. Would Mr. Governor be surprised to learn that his conservative and prim photographer is really the infamous Rita?”

  “What’s it going take to get you to back off on this?” He was guessing she wanted more from him than Friday night. She always wanted more.

  Jade got up and walked right to him. The sun that streamed through the long window highlighted her face in harsh, yellow-white tones. Searching her features, he wondered again about his past attraction to this woman because right now he felt nothing for her but loathing.

  “I want you to Top me on opening night so brilliantly that I’ll be the most sought-after sub again. I miss the celebrity of that.”

  “That’s it?” He tried to keep his disgust from showing.

  “No.” She brought a hand up and adjusted the collar of his shirt. “I find I’m jealous, Ethan.” He didn’t want her hands on him and stepped back as she said with a feigned pout, “I’m jealous of your little vanilla crush. So, if you agree to break it off with her and never see her again, I’ll agree to keep her little Riling Rita secret to myself. I think there are reasons that woman is hiding the truth behind her two identities and it won’t take me long to dig them up if I’m forced to.”

  Ethan considered her threat. He had no problem with her dragging him through the mud, she was capable enough, but to do it to Colin? That he couldn’t stand. Colin had worked so hard to keep her public persona unblemished and separate from the Riling Rita phenomenon. Not just because of her studio clients, but the clients she hoped to one day have when Wakefield was reestablished. If Jade had the truth published, that could ruin all that Colin had been working to accomplish. Not to mention embarrass her in front of a huge audience. Especially now that Riling Rita was on record as staying with a badass Dom like him and blogging about the experience. And now that he knew what drove her to shy away from the spotlight?

  Fuck.

  Jade’s crocodile smile sickened him. “You’re not in love with her are you? This would be quite the dilemma if you were.”

  Ethan didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. He didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had either. He’d have to work out some way to protect Colin because right now the only way he knew how was to agree to Jade’s demands without letting her know how much Colin meant to him. That was the key. So, even though the words burned like acid to say, he knew he had no choice if Colin was going to escape from Jade’s venom. “In love with her? Hardly. She’s a clumsy, nervous mess who’s too stubborn to make any Dom worth wielding a whip a good sub.”

  Jade’s eyes flickered and then lit up with unabashed glee. “You’ll Top me at the opening?” She laughed and clapped her hands. “It will be just like old times.”

  God he hated this. “Yes.”

  “Ethan?”

  Colin’s soft voice came to him over Jade’s flinty chuckle. Apparently, Jade had set him up knowing Colin was in the room behind him. This would explain her sudden enthusiasm. But given a second to assess the situation, maybe this is what needed to happen to assure Colin captured her dream. A dream that had no room inside it for him or the lifestyle. He knew that now. Colin was too good to be touched by Jade and her threats. She couldn’t be publicly humiliated. It would crush her.

  He steeled himself, knowing the only choice he had was to break Colin’s heart. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say when he turned around. Unsure what he’d do because all he could think of at the moment was losing her. The idea that he’d likely never see her again tore a hole inside him that left him cold. He’d use some of that ice now to get this done.

  “Colin, I…” One look at her and he went silent. Mute. Fuck, he would have cut his tongue out rather than say any more because he’d already said enough. Words he didn’t mean that had taken a heavy toll on her.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Her beautiful blue eyes were drowning in unshed tears and the devastation in her expression devoured a part of his soul, but he had to do this. The quicker the better. Her dream hung in the balance. He had the power to secure it, all he needed to do was ask her to leave. No, tell her to go, but he didn’t get the chance because she did it for him.

  “I…” She was desperate. Mentally grasping for comprehension he was sure, while she searched for answers from him. When she came up empty, thankfully, she averted her gaze. The sorrow he spied in those depths undid him, yet when she spoke the hollow tone of her voice skewered him to the core. “I’ll go. I know it’s a day early but you—with…”

  The silence in the room was heavy until Jade asked, “Do you need help packing?”

  Colin didn’t respond to that, instead she squared her shoulders, directed a hard stare at him and said, “Goodbye, Ethan.”

  When she turned and walked away he wanted to call her back. To apologize. To beg her, yes, beg her to return to him, but he couldn’t. Not while Jade was being irrational. His gut twisted and he wanted to puke.

  Colin didn’t know how she’d managed to remain upright. She turned and concentrated on making her way out of the resort, across the expansive lawns to the boathouse without collapsing. By the time she got to her room her legs wobbled and her eyes burned as if she’d rubbed sand in them. She wanted so badly to cry, but she wouldn’t do that. Not in front him. Not in front of them. Not in front of anyone.

  She moved in a dreamlike fashion. Disconnected and distanced from the present. It wasn’t until sometime later she found herself standing at her own front door, baggage in hand, wondering how she’d gotten there. She knew she’d driven because her car was in the drive and her keys were in her hand, yet most everything else was a blur.

  Eyeing the familiar red paint on her front door, the shade she’d picked for the express purpose of making her happy, caused the dull pain in her chest to turn sharp. The ache was a physical manifestation that gnawed on her. Ate on her. Drained her strength and will. All she wanted to do was get inside her own home. Then she could deal with her emotions and grieve because she’d suffered major losses twice today. Wakefield being the least of her injuries.

  She fumbled, unlocking the deadbolt. Her hands shook and she tripped going in, but once the door firmly shut, she leaned back against it. As she closed her eyes she realized her whole world view was now shattered and although that was a daunting prospect it was the thought of Ethan, of what he’d done to her, that caused her to burst out crying. She sobbed so hard her knees buckled as she slid down to the floor.

  * * * * *

  Seven hours later Colin sat in the dark, drinking red wine, eating the last of the chocolate and listening to The Best of Bread on her CD player. Her tears had dried up a long time ago and now she simmered. How could he have done this to her?

  She took a swig of wine right out of the bottle and breathed deeply though her nose before she swallowed. She could thank him for one thing. The sex. Although now that she thought about that, she doubted she’d ever have sex with a guy again. Men were such bastards. If they weren’t screwing you one way they were screwing you over another.

  “Collie? Are you in here?”

  When she heard Jo she grumbled, “How’d you get in?”

  “The spare key. Your neighbor called me and said she heard music playing but there weren’t any lights on. How very Phantom of the Opera of you.” Her friend flicked a switch and the living room lit up like a tree on Christmas morning.

/>   “Hey! I didn’t say you could do that.” Colin squinted and waited for her friend to turn off the overhead light. When she didn’t do it quick enough, Colin waved her arm. “Geez, for the love of God put on the table lamp.”

  “Oh boy, how much of the hard stuff have you had?” Jo adjusted the lights and reached for the CD control to switch that off too.

  Colin closed one eye to examine the nearly empty bottle of wine before she frowned. “This isn’t hard stuff.”

  “I was, um,” Jo tossed the controller onto the coffee table, “referring to the chocolate.”

  “Oh.” Colin shrugged. “Gone. Sorry.”

  “So?” Her friend collapsed in one of Colin’s overstuffed chairs. “What happened? Did he kick you out?”

  “He told you about that?” She leaned forward and nearly fell off the couch before she caught herself.

  “No. Educated guess. So, he did kick you out?”

  “Yup. Well, no. I sort of just left. Ethan’s back with his ex a-and I l-lost my prop-properly.” She bit her lip the second that mispronounced word popped out. She wasn’t going to cry, but then tears started swelling again.

  Jo grabbed the wine bottle and took a swig. “Shit. You lost Wakefield too? How did that happen?”

  “Euro investors snaftched it up.”

  “Huh, I thought they were all broke.”

  “They’re Germans.”

  “Ah, makes sense. They are the ones with the money. Sorry, Collie.”

  Colin grabbed the bottle back. “Ya, that’s bad but didn’t you hear? Ethan’s back with Jaaaade.” In her inebriated state she couldn’t help being immature.

  “Is that why you’ve spent all night eating chocolates and drinking?” She looked around. “Wait, don’t tell me you started this eclectic binging this afternoon?”

  “No.” She looked away, trying not to pout and then looked back. “Yes. Do you want to know how sick in the head I am?”