Worth the Fight

by Beth Maria

  One minute he’s hot, but then the next, he’s so cold with me. He’s like a yoyo, bouncing me back and forth with his emotions. I didn’t even get to talk to him about how I felt after he started talking about how he missed me. That was the sole reason I stopped the kiss, and I didn’t even get to voice my thoughts, the thoughts that have been wrecking havoc on my mind for the last few weeks.

  I’m going to have to find a way to tell him, and soon. I need to know how he feels and what he wants with me before I make a decision about living arrangements.

  Chapter Nine

  Phoenix

  It wasn’t long after I left Emilia’s office that I got the phone call. I was expecting it, which was why I had to see Emilia just now. I had to let her know how I felt for her. Granted, I didn’t exactly tell her that I loved her; I think she would run a mile if I sprung that bomb on her, but I did let her know how much I’ve missed her, and I wasn’t lying. I’ve missed her so goddamn much I can’t even begin to explain.

  I close my office door, pull out my ringing cell phone, and answer, not saying anything. I’m not supposed to. I just to listen to the instructions and then do as I’m told.

  “A delivery will be arriving in an hour. I want you to go down to the loading bay and make sure that the deal goes smoothly. Take Rick with you. I will phone and let him know what’s happening. Don’t fuck this up, Phoenix. These people could be very close associates to us if everything goes according to plan. Do you understand?” Nico asks down the line. Just hearing his nasally voice makes my blood run cold.

  Remember why you’re doing this; for your parents who haven’t gotten their justice, and for Emilia. Mostly for Emilia. My beautiful Emilia.

  “Understood. And if it doesn’t go smoothly?” I ask. It’s happened before, and the end of the night didn’t turn out pretty.

  “It shouldn’t happen, but if it does, you know the protocol. Make it as quiet as possible. I don’t need anybody getting wind of this.”

  Before I can reply, Nico hangs up.

  Son of a bitch. Why can’t he do his own dirty work?

  I’ve been doing it for the last four years, after he had to kill one of his own men for going against him, for being a snitch. Since then, I’ve not seen him lift a finger, while I do his dirty work for him. I hate myself every single day for what I’ve had to do since I joined the dark side.

  My family has always run alongside the De Carlos. My father was best friends with Nico from when they were little boys, as their dads were best friends. Nico’s father passed the business along to him when he got too old and, my father stood by his side, rooting him on when he thought that he couldn’t live up to his father’s expectations.

  And how did he repay my father? By murdering him in cold blood.

  And then he killed my mother to make sure she kept her mouth shut.

  And the reason why he killed my father? Because my father was gaining more respect from his team than he was, and the cherry on top of the icing, is because he went behind Nico’s back.

  I know my father wasn’t a saint. In fact, he was far from it, but he was nowhere near as bad as Nico. He at least gave people a chance to redeem themselves. With Nico, you have one shot, and if you fuck up, that’s it. You’re gone, wiped off the face of the earth, never to be seen again, literally.

  I’m ashamed to say that since I’ve been assigned to deal with Nico’s requests, I’ve got blood on my hands. I’m not proud of it; however, it’s imperative if I want justice. I have to act like I’m one of the team, and I’ve done pretty well so far. I’ve had no distractions, not with Emilia wanting nothing to do with me. Now that’s all changed. We’re back in each other lives, even though we know that we shouldn’t be. We should be keeping the hell away from each other for both of our sakes. If Nico found out, it would be ‘bye bye, Phoenix’, and Emilia would suffer the consequences.

  Damn consequences!

  Sometimes I curse this environment that I was raised up in. Why couldn’t I have just been brought up like normal people, not going about your day wondering who you’re going to have to kill next.

  Roughly an hour later, Rick enters my office with a nod of his head, letting me know it’s game on. I grab my coat with the hidden pockets in case this deal goes wrong, so that I can pull out my gun. It’s become my trusty friend in the last four years, saving my life on more than one occasion.

  We walk in silence down to the loading bay at the back of the club. It’s deserted at the moment, which is good. It gives me time to go over protocol with Rick, and to make sure he knows exactly what he’s doing.

  “Do you know what is going to happen in the next ten minutes?” I ask, turning to face him, his tall frame towering over me. He really is a beast. I just hope he can have my back in case this all goes wrong. Otherwise, I’m screwed. We’re both screwed.

  “Yes. Nico did fill in me on what I should expect to happen. You should know that this isn’t my first deal, Phoenix. I’ve done this a few more times for Nico over the years.”

  This is news to me. It must be conveyed on my face because he says, “Years ago, before I decided to do security. I didn’t want to be on the front lines anymore.”

  “Ahh,” I reply, completely understanding where he’s coming from.

  “What I want you to do is cover my back and let me do all the talking. Everything should go along smoothly, though this is the first time that we are working with this gang. Anything could happen. Really, there should be more of us, but Nico obviously didn’t think that far ahead.” I shake my head. There should be at least four of us.

  “You got it.”

  The sound of an engine stops us from saying anything further. We walk in silence as the lights draw closer to us, my mask that I’ve perfected for situations like this slipping back onto my face.

  The van stops in front of us, the engine switching off before three men exit. Two of them are nearly as big as Rick, and the other one is like me, tall but leaner. They advance toward us, their strides purposeful and their heads held high with their masks in place, giving nothing away to how this is going to go.

  I’m not nervous. What will happen will happen. That unfortunately is and always has been out of my hands. I just have to pray that I get to see another day.

  “Are you Phoenix?” the guy who’s leaner asks gruffly, standing in front of me. He looks about ten years older than me, and age hasn’t done him justice.

  Justice.

  I best not forget about that word.

  “I am,” I return coldly.

  “You got the money?”

  “It’s in that van over there.”

  “Do you want to check that everything is in our van?”

  No, not really.

  I do, though, because if it’s wrong or we’ve been ripped off, Nico will have my head on a plate.

  I look at Rick, giving him a look to keep his eyes open for anything dodgy. I don’t need them shooting while I’m in the van.

  Gritting my teeth, I step up into the van, checking the contents inside. I peek into the first box and the second and the third. Yup, everything is in working order, so it seems. There is a hell of a lot of cocaine in these boxes, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth. The sight of it makes me sick to my stomach.

  Not long now.

  I make my way out of the van, coming face to face with everybody looking steely toward each other. Damn testosterone.

  “Everything seems to be correct. It’s a pleasure doing business with you, and we will be in contact.” I shake the leaner guy’s hand, who seems to be the leader.

  He nods his head. Letting go of my hand, he turns around to his guys and tells them to get into the van with the money in it. It’s not long after that the engine starts up and they’re leaving, the tail lights of the van getting further and further away until I can no longer see them.

  “Well, that was quick.” Rick laughs a nervous laugh.

  “Yeah, it usually is where I’m concerned. I don’t feel
the need for pointless chitchat like some of the others,” I tell him, turning to face him and seeing his face, which now that the mask has gone, is kind of worried but also shining with relief.

  “I’m glad. I don’t mean to be a pussy, but heck, it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. I gave it up to be able to look after my kids until Nico phoned me today. You know what he’s like though. If Nico asks you to jump, you say how high. You don’t question it. I hope this is the only time he asks me. I can’t risk anything happening or my wife getting wind of this. I nearly lost her once before because of the life I used to lead. If she found out that I was still working for him, even if it is only security, fuck, I don’t even want to think what will happen.”

  Rick looks at me and just laughs, full on belly laughs.

  “Fuck me. Look at me getting verbal diarrhea like a fucking woman.”

  “It’s alright to get nervous in this business, buddy. Just make sure you don’t show it in front of the wrong people. That’s when they will tear into you. Me? I don’t care. It just proves that you’re human.” I clap him on the back before walking through the back door of the club.

  The loud music blares in my chest until I get to the third floor where my office is. Thankfully, it must be sound proof up here because I can’t hear a single thing. I welcome the peace. It gives me time to think about my next move.

  I sit down in my chair, lean back, and rest my feet up on my desk, my legs crossed at the ankles. Then my cell beeps, signaling a text.

  When am I going to see you next, baby?

  Fuck sake. That woman doesn’t know how to take a hint! After not answering Cindy’s calls or text messages for near on a week now, she still doesn’t understand and continues to text me nearly every hour on the dot. I’m thinking I might have chosen the wrong woman to keep me sated for a few weeks. This one is starting to show a serious case of being clingy!

  I chuck my phone onto my desk, not worrying if it cracks. I might get a new cell phone soon anyway and make sure I change my number. That way, no crazies will be able to contact me and I can concentrate on the woman in the next room without any complications getting in the way.

  One way or another, Emilia will eventually be mine.

  With or without her father’s permission.

  Chapter Ten

  It’s been two weeks since I had the encounter with Phoenix; two weeks since he said that I could move in with him to save me paying expenses that I didn’t have to, and two weeks since I’ve spoken to him at all. I’m starting to feel that usual emotion I feel a few days after seeing him- dejection. I feel like everything he does with me or says to me is one big fat joke, a way to mess with my head. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for the last two weeks.

  When I hadn’t seen him a few days after our encounter, I decided I would wait until Friday night when I knew that he would be at the club.

  He didn’t turn up.

  Nor did he on Saturday.

  That’s when I started to get worried. I texted him. I even tried calling him, but he didn’t answer. I’ve tried Maxine, just to be told that she hasn’t seen him since the other week when he had that fight, which is unusual. Of course, Maxine wanted to know all of the details, so I told her some of them, but not everything. I didn’t tell her that Phoenix said I could move in with him because she will just ask why I didn’t bother to ask her if I could move in with her. I’m not ready for that conversation. I’m sure Dylan wouldn’t be happy if I intruded upon their little relationship bubble.

  When I didn’t see him this week, I decided that I will just give it until tonight, and if I don’t see him or hear from him, then I guess I’ll give up. I will realize that he must have changed his mind and let me down, like he always seems to do when it comes to me.

  It’s breaking me inside, more and more day by day.

  I’ve been running a lot more than ever before, trying to exercise the worry and stress out of me to no avail. I’ve pulled every muscle in my legs, I’m sure of it, but still I carry on running. For me, it’s like my drug, my coping mechanism, and until my life is simple, I will carry on doing it.

  “Hey, Emilia,” Rick’s cheerful voice invades my thoughts.

  “Oh, hey, Rick. You seen Phoenix?”

  “Yeah, he arrived about a half hour ago. He should be in his office.”

  Trying to play it cool, I tell him, “Thank you. Have a good evening,” before proceeding upstairs and straight to Phoenix’s office. That guy has some major explaining to do!

  I push open the door, letting the handle fly out of my hands because I’m that pissed off, only to stop in my tracks before I can even take a step into his office.

  A gasp leaves my mouth involuntarily, my hand lifting to cover it.

  That son of a bitch!

  No wonder he didn’t call or text me back. He’s been too preoccupied with her! Cindy.

  Phoenix hears my gasp, his eyes flying straight to me and landing on my shocked face which quickly morphs to hurt. I’m hurt that, after everything he said to me about missing me and everything he said about the other girls, he’s here, right now, with Cindy.

  Phoenix is sitting in his chair, looking all relaxed, while Cindy sits on the edge of his desk, her short, trashy skirt riding right up near enough to her hips. I’m sure Phoenix is getting an eyeful right now. He must be enjoying it because I don’t exactly hear him protesting, telling her to go away.

  I’ve seen enough. I’ve got my answer, knowing all I need to know about why he’s been ignoring me. I give one last look to Phoenix, my face conveying how hurt he’s made me, before turning on my heel and walking down the hallway to my office. Why couldn’t it have been on a different floor? Or better yet, why do we have to work together at all?!

  “Em, wait!” I ignore his pleads for me to stop.

  How many times have I been fooled by his sweet words and his addictive kisses? Well, no more! I will look for my own place and forget that there ever was a guy called Phoenix James. I will get my own job, one where I will earn my own money, not blood money, and I will be able to live my life the way that I should be able to live it, happy and free!

  I bypass my office, deciding to go straight home. I need peace to decide my next step, and I’m not likely to get there when the main reason for my problems is in the same building.

  ****

  After spending most of the night looking for somewhere to live, I finally find the perfect place. It’s not too expensive for the area that it’s in, and if I find myself a job, I should be able to afford it and live on some of my savings.

  When it’s an acceptable time, I call up the number given and tell them that I’m interested in moving in ASAP. Luckily for me, I can move in right away; all I have to do is pay a deposit, which isn’t a problem.

  I’ve packed all of the essential stuff that I need- some of my clothes, shoes, and toiletries, as well as some personal possessions. The rest I’m just going to have to leave behind for now. I hate the fact that I’m leaving some of my possessions behind, however, if I want to move away and today, I need to leave them.

  Grabbing my bag, I pull it up over my shoulder and take one last look around my room. This room has been my safe haven over the years, from good and bad memories. I’m going to miss it.

  I need to get going before my father gets back.

  Even though he’s been gone for the last hour, I still look around every corner, keeping my ear out for any noises.

  I make it to my car without any problems and start off down the driveway, looking back at the huge house. So many bad memories flood me.

  This is for the best. You get to live your own life without people trying to control you.

  I turn the corner, the house no longer in sight. I breathe properly for the first time in years. I’m finally free, and I vow to live my life to the fullest from now on.

  Chapter Eleven

  Three months later…

  “Girl, you have to tell Phoenix where you are. I’v
e not seen him like this before. All he’s done for the last three months is go crazy looking for you,” Maxine says over the phone.

  I sigh and roll my eyes, even though she can’t see.

  “Look, Max, I’m not going to tell you again, I don’t want anybody to know where I am. You’re the only one who knows, and I’m trusting you not to say anything. You know he’s one of the reasons why I left in the first place.”

  Now it’s her turn to sigh. “Em, I know that Phoenix upset you, but did you have to pack up and leave? Couldn’t you have sorted this out?”

  “I tried. I was willing to allow him back into my heart, and he messed up. More than once, I might add.”

  “Yes, I know, and I am so pissed off that he upset you. Trust me, he got an earful from me when I found out. But did you really have to move to the next town? I know it’s not exactly far, but I can’t even come and see you in case somebody follows me. I miss my bestie.”

  Sadness sweeps over me.

  “I miss you too! It won’t be forever, just until they forget about looking for me, especially my father.”

  “This sucks. I feel like I’m being punished for what your father and Phoenix did to you,” she says, her voice trembling.

  “That’s not the case. You know I want to see you. I just can’t at the moment.” I don’t know what else to say. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that I actually got in contact with her. It’s safe to say that when she answered the phone, I got an ear bashing. She was so angry with me for not telling her sooner where I was. I’m still apologizing for it now.

  “It still sucks though.”

  “Have you heard any more from my father?” I ask, sitting down on my sofa with my cup of coffee in hand.

  “Not since the other week. If I wasn’t so fricking scared of your father, I would have told him to get out of my house and not bother to come back. The thought alone made me sort of pee my panties.” We both chuckle. My father is a pretty scary guy. I’m surprised he hasn’t found me yet, to be honest. Maybe he doesn’t care that I’ve gone as much as I thought he would. That would be good if it were the case.