Marie, Laura - Miss: Never Gonna Love Again [The Miss: Series] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Laura Marie

  Aunt Ellie moved closer then stopped short in the doorway as Julianna attempted to raise her hands to fix her hair and place the loose strands behind her ear.

  That’s when Julianna realized the testing stick was still in her hand.

  * * * *

  The picture screen was facing forward, so there was no mistaking the plus sign. Ellie wanted to scream for joy and do a jig, but one look at Julianna’s facial expression, blotchy chest, and red, swollen eyes told her now was not the time. So she opted for nonchalant.

  “Why don’t I go put on the tea kettle while you freshen up?” With that, she turned around and walked out of the bathroom. Ellie busied herself with preparing tea until Julianna finally made an appearance. Ellie was about to bust with joy, but knowing everything Julianna had gone through, this wasn’t cut and dry. Her niece had self-confidence issues and insecurities when it came to trust and relationships. She needed assurance, she needed to know that everything was going to be fine, but no one could promise that.

  The kettle whistled and Aunt Ellie prepared the tea as Julianna sat down by the kitchen table.

  A few moments later, the tea cups were on the table and Aunt Ellie took a seat next to Julianna.

  She couldn’t help but smile over the rim of her tea cup as Julianna wrung her fingers nervously together.

  “I know you saw the test,” Julianna whispered.

  “I saw it.”

  “And?”

  “You tell me, and then I’ll tell ya how I feel.”

  Julianna released a heavy sigh.

  “I can’t believe I’m pregnant. How the hell did this happen?” Julianna exclaimed, and Aunt Ellie raised her eyebrows then tilted her head to the side as if saying, “Duh.”

  “Well, I know how it happened. For crying out loud! This is this is insane. What am I going to do?”

  “What’s the upsetting part? That you didn’t plan it?”

  “Aunt Ellie, the doctors said I couldn’t conceive children. What if something is wrong with it?”

  “Oh heavens, Jules. These are all things any young, pregnant mother experiences. The baby will be just fine. You’ll make an appointment to see Doc Forbes ASAP and he’ll run any and all tests necessary. You can explain everything to him and he’ll understand.” Aunt Ellie patted her hand.

  “No, Aunt Ellie, I can’t go see Dr. Forbes. Then the whole town will know the sheriff knocked me up!”

  “Julianna Marie! I will not tolerate that kind of talk from you. You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it.”

  Both women remained silent a moment.

  “Besides, Johnny will be thrilled when you tell him. He’ll be right beside you the whole time, and he loves you.”

  “I’m not telling Johnny.” Julianna stood up from the chair.

  “You’re not telling him? Why not?”

  Julianna began to cry.

  Aunt Ellie rose from her chair and pulled Julianna into an embrace.

  “What’s this all about?”

  “He doesn’t love me. He’s just having fun right now, that’s all.”

  Ellie pulled away from Julianna and held her shoulders.

  “What makes you say that? Those jealous hussies at the town hall? I heard them carrying on about Johnny’s place and his behavior with women. That’s all lies, Julianna. They’re just a bunch of jealous women who wish the sheriff paid them attention. That Sheriff Black is a good man. He loves you, and he has a right to know about the baby.”

  “I don’t want to discuss it right now. I need to think about this.”

  “You need to start trusting people again, Julianna. You can trust Johnny just like you can trust your uncle and me.”

  “I’m scared, Aunt Ellie. I’m so scared.”

  Aunt Ellie pulled Julianna into an embrace.

  “Everything is going to be just fine. You’re not alone, Jules. You’ve got us, you’ve got Johnny, and you’ve got Palmer Place.”

  Julianna nibbled her bottom lip.

  “Don’t say anything. Let me handle this.”

  “You can’t wait too long. We McKay women tend to show our pregnancy early.” Aunt Ellie winked.

  * * * *

  Thanksgiving Morning, Palmer Place

  The guests were settled in after their first full day and night at Palmer Place.

  Rooster and Sammy had tired them out after long horseback rides and a trip into town to shop. Julianna already received a phone call from Mr. Fennigan about their current guests.

  He was ecstatic that the guests visited his store and ordered gift baskets of their jams and jellies to give as Christmas and holiday gifts. They took his business card and planned on telling their friends back home. This was the kind of thing that Julianna had hoped for. The current guests this Thanksgiving weekend included an older couple from Sacramento, California, a young couple from Connecticut, and a man from Virginia. They each had complimented the establishment and the cooking.

  The aroma of various foods, including the three turkeys, filled the house this morning. Aunt Ellie and Julianna had gotten up at about 5:00 a.m. to get moving on preparations. The pies would go in this afternoon and be nice and warm in time for dessert.

  Julianna dealt with the waves of nausea as her mind ultimately focused on her visit with Dr. Forbes.

  Aunt Ellie had been right. The doctor was more than accommodating and assured her that her secret was safe with him. He did want to run extra tests and take the necessary precautions as the pregnancy continued, to give Julianna peace of mind. He definitely had a more sympathetic and committed demeanor once he heard about the events in New York and her ex-fiancé.

  He went on to ensure her that Sheriff Black was an honorable man who was quite smitten with her, and that it was obvious to all. He didn’t patronize her or take Aunt Ellie’s side about informing Johnny. He told her she had every right to be scared and that it was understandable. He also told her if she needed someone to talk to, that he was a good listener.

  Julianna smiled at the thought. Dr. Forbes was a nice man, and she felt very comfortable with him. The bad part was that Johnny was headed out of the Sheriff’s Department as she was headed out of the doctor’s office. By the time she arrived home, her phone was ringing and he was concerned that she was sick.

  It was a first for her, considering Lawrence never showed any concern when she was ill. Not that she got sick often, because she took care of herself well, but when she had the sniffles, he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed. One time she said her throat felt sore and that night he didn’t come home. Now that she thought about it, he was probably with Kate.

  The tears stung her eyes, but it was minimal. That was the past and her stupidity was behind her.

  “A penny for your thoughts?” Mr. Tomkins asked.

  Julianna looked up from the frying pan and smiled at their guest from Virginia.

  “I guess I was concentrating on not burning the sausage,” she stated, moving the contents around in the pan. They were making stuffing from scratch and lots of fresh ingredients went into it.

  “It smells so wonderful in here. I just love it,” he replied as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. Her aunt wanted every guest to feel at home and able to serve themselves if they wanted to.

  “This reminds me of my home and growing up on the farm. Gosh, I hadn’t thought about home in so many years.” He leaned against the counter and watched Julianna cook.

  “You have a large family, Mr. Tomkins?” she asked, making small talk. He told her all about his three siblings and how, once his parents passed away, no one wanted to take over the responsibility of the farm. Each of his siblings moved in separate directions around the country.

  She felt sad for him. It was obvious he missed his family and wanted to spend the holidays with them. She didn’t want to get too personal so she tried to lighten up the mood.

  “Well, you’re at Palmer Place for Thanksgiving, so you’re part of our family, Mr. Tomkins. You can help pitc
h in any time you want or you can sit back and enjoy the day. It’s up to you. No pressure,” she added with a wink.

  He smiled wide at her comment.

  “Please call me William.”

  “Sure thing, William.”

  “Good morning, Mr. Tomkins. I have breakfast all set up by the dining room. The others are on their way down,” Aunt Ellie stated as she entered the kitchen with an arm full of vegetables.

  “Let me help you with those.” He rushed towards her to help, and Aunt Ellie looked a little unsure until Julianna gave her an okay nod and wink.

  Once he left the kitchen to join the others, Julianna continued to prepare.

  By the afternoon, the other couple of guests were arriving. There was Dr. Forbes, Mr. and Mrs. Perkins from the hardware store, Rooster, Sammy, Sheriff Black, and his dad Lou.

  * * * *

  Julianna snuck off to the spare room and opened the window a crack to get some fresh air. Her stomach was a bit queasy, and dinner was just about ready to serve. She had avoided Johnny a bit, out of guilt, and was surprised to find how badly she felt for not sharing the pregnancy with him. Lou Black was winking at her and smirking so much she wondered if somehow he knew, but Dr. Forbes promised and so did her aunt and uncle.

  She smirked at the thought of Uncle Roy when he found out. He did a little dance, hugged her, then spun her around until Aunt Ellie reprimanded him.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing. Yet in the back of her mind uneasiness remained.

  * * * *

  “You hidin’ in here? I was lookin’ for ya.”

  Julianna turned towards Johnny as he entered the room, closing the door behind him.

  He glanced towards the open window as Julianna closed it.

  “I was just getting some fresh air.”

  He stood next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

  “You feelin’ all right?”

  She looked down, unable to look him in the eye as she lied.

  “Yeah, just fine. I’m all right. I guess we should get back inside.”

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

  “How about a little lovin’ first.” He smiled and her heart fluttered.

  He was so handsome he made her heart race. She was falling in love with him, damn it.

  Before she could say anything, he kissed her softly, hugging her close.

  “I was feeling a bit jealous that ya all was payin’ more attention to your guests. I needed that kiss, darlin’, and tonight you all are stayin’ at my place.”

  She held his forearms and pulled away a little.

  “I can’t stay at your place tonight. I have to be here in the morning for the guests.”

  He squinted his eyes as if challenging her lame excuse. She gave a similar look right back at him, determined to stand her ground.

  “Okay. Then tomorrow night when they’re all long gone. I ain’t takin’ no for an answer.”

  Before she could protest, he pulled her close and kissed her again. By the time he was done loving her mouth, she was breathless and hungry in a whole other way than for food.

  He smiled before turning her towards the doorway and tapping her on her backside.

  * * * *

  After the Thanksgiving supper was complete, the guests gathered around the fireplace in the living room. Everyone had enjoyed conversations about family traditions, old memories of Palmer Place, and the ideas for its expansion.

  Julianna noticed that Mr. Tomkins had a lot of questions when it came to Palmer Place. As she began to become suspicious about him, it seemed Johnny had as well. She had to chuckle to herself when she saw Johnny had Mr. Tomkins cornered in one part of the room. It wasn’t until a good twenty minutes later that Julianna noticed Johnny smiling and laughing along with Mr. Tomkins.

  She sat on the double sofa near the fire, and Julianna was quite content by herself absorbing everything around her. The conversations among new and old friends, the crackling of the fireplace, and the sound of laughter made the holiday peaceful. She looked towards the window and the snow falling outside, and Julianna thought about New York. She loved when it snowed in the city, especially around this time of the year. The streets were crowded with tourists and shoppers and Christmas music played on every radio in every store, both small and large.

  Here at Palmer Place, it was so peaceful and relaxing despite their guests. She felt so content, and it was clear that she never wanted to leave. This was her home and where she would raise the baby.

  “I hope it was thoughts of me that brought that smile and pinkness to ya cheeks,” Johnny stated, joining her on the couch. She scooted over to make some room on the very small love seat. He placed his arm around her shoulder and put his other hand on her knee. He gave it a squeeze while he kissed her cheek, and she blushed some more.

  “Everything all right?” he whispered.

  At any other time, that would be such a loaded question, but feeling as content as Julianna was, she smiled and snuggled closer into his embrace.

  “Everything is just fine.”

  “Dinner was amazing. Everything turned out mighty fine. That homemade apple pie was sinful.”

  She loved everything about this man. His accent, his body, and his personality. He was perfection, and it scared her to death to think he might hate her when she told him about the baby.

  “The weather’s dun taken a turn for the worse. I think I’m gonna have to stay at you all’s place tonight.” He winked at her as she tilted her head up towards him.

  “What about your pa and the others?”

  “They’re traveling together and have a shorter trip into town from here. Matter of fact, I think they’re leavin’ right now.”

  Lou Black was kissing Aunt Ellie goodnight along with Mr. and Mrs. Perkins.

  Julianna and Johnny stood up.

  It was nearly ten in the evening when the guests all headed home or up to their rooms to settle in for the night.

  Julianna helped her aunt clean up the rest of the kitchen along with Uncle Roy and Johnny.

  They said goodbye, and Johnny drove Julianna down the driveway to her cottage.

  Before he turned off the engine, he stopped her from getting out of the truck.

  “Am I invited in to stay?” he asked, showing off his dimples.

  “Of course you are.” She moved to open the door and he stopped her again.

  “You seem a bit distracted. Ya all wanna talk about it?”

  She sighed then smiled at his show of concern. If he didn’t care about her, would he be so in tune with her emotions?

  “Not distracted, Johnny, just content.” She patted his hand before they exited the truck.

  * * * *

  Rays of moonlight from the window cast a silhouette around Johnny’s form in the doorway. Julianna absorbed the sight of him as her heart pounded against the inside of her chest. He was gorgeous and manly. She loved him. She loved everything about him.

  She thought that she never wanted to love again. She never wanted to open up her heart because she was afraid it would only get broken. Her life had been nothing but mistake after mistake brought on by a difficult childhood. Taught to only rely on herself had gotten her through college and New York City but had failed her when it came to men. Men like Lawrence who preyed on those lacking self-confidence as well as those who feared intimidation.

  Johnny locked gazes with her from across the bedroom. From where she stood in front of the edge of her bed, he was quite intimidating-looking as well. But he was intimidating in the most attractive and sexy of ways. Any women scarred from heartbreak or loss would be able to differentiate the two. He could be her protector, her one true love, a noble and committed man and the father of their baby.

  “What ya so serious about all of a sudden?” he questioned, moving slowly toward her.

  Back in the truck she had planned on telling him about the baby, but now all she wanted was for him to make love to her.


  “Come here, Johnny,” she whispered, surprised at how the words rumbled sexily off her tongue. He apparently felt it as well.

  He stood in front of her, placing his hands gently against her cheeks before pulling her to his welcoming lips. Julianna held his forearms and embraced the moment their lips touched and her world soared around them.

  He was thorough as he claimed her mouth, and the passion between them fired up into an inferno. He continued to kiss her then released his hands from her cheeks to caress her body from neck and shoulder, to her waist then backside. He hoisted her up by her rear, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. Julianna took over loving his mouth, nibbling his lips, and thoroughly scattering kisses and sucks along his neck then jaw line.

  She held on tight, continued to taste his skin, and the aroma of his cologne, his masculine scent, attacked her senses. “I want you inside me now!” she demanded between kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt. Julianna couldn’t get enough of him as she rubbed her hands over the muscles of his chest through the small thick patch of chest hair all the way down to the waist of his pants.

  Johnny used his weight to settle Julianna into a sitting position on the edge of the bed while her legs slowly fell from around his waist.

  She grabbed at his belt buckle, unzipped his pants, and grabbed him. She began stroking his manhood while he quickly discarded her of her clothing. He looked so damn sexy standing in front of her with his shirt pulled open wide, his pants barely off his waist, and his eyes filled with passion.

  He pulled her towards him, wrapping his hand around the base of her neck, under her hair, to pull her lips towards his. He kissed her passionately before releasing her lips to push his pants down and off his legs.

  “Scoot on up, darlin’, I can’t wait to be inside you any longer.” And she scooted towards the middle of the bed. He was over her in a flash, a gleam in his eye then a wink before he spread her thighs and thrust into her. She moaned his name, throwing her head back against the mattress. It was heaven, and her body felt as if it had been away from his so long even though they made love only yesterday.