Closer

by Kaia Bennett

  "You didn't really pursue it, so how do you know?" he said simply. "I may have been passionate about music and dreamt about making it for a living, but I didn't take it seriously until a couple of years ago, and I have no one to blame for that but myself." She turned away, piecing his sandwich together while nibbling on her lip again. "You're going to get tired of being hungry all the time, Nic. It can't hurt to try writing again, or to really look for something that interests you if you want a normal day job. You don't have to be miserable."

  She placed his sandwich on a plate and handed it to him while she took a bite of the remaining banana. She had some things to think over later, but for now she was too busy staring up at him and feeling grateful she could talk to him about what was bothering her. That had always been the case, no matter what stage of their relationship they'd been in. She could talk to him about pretty much anything.

  "You know, you're kind of a grown up, aren't you?" she teased. "All sage and stuff."

  "Don't tell anybody, okay?"

  She smiled, watching him take a huge bite of his food. "No one would believe me anyway when you eat shit like that." Gabriel lifted an eyebrow, barely chewing before he swallowed. "That, my friend, is a sandwich only a third grader could love," she elaborated, shaking her head. "You need some fruit roll-ups and a Scooby Doo lunchbox to go with that thing."

  Gabriel paused mid-chew, looked down at his sandwich, and then back up at her when she hopped up onto the counter beside him. She was trying desperately not to laugh while she polished off the rest of the banana and tossed the peel in the garbage.

  "Says the girl with a Cracker Jacks fetish," he quipped out of the side of his mouth. He swallowed, then asked, "And what's wrong with my sandwich?"

  "Peanut butter and bananas, babe? For serious?"

  "Hey, hey, hey, no talking bad about peanut butter and bananas. This is culinary creativity at its finest."

  "Oh yeah, it just screams high-class cuisine," she said with a snort.

  "Have you ever tried it?"

  Nicole smacked her lips. "Peanut butter gets stuck to the roof of your mouth. It's not a pleasant sensation to me."

  "Is that a 'no'?"

  "That's a 'no, thank you'." She shook her head and pursed her lips for emphasis.

  "Have some of mine first before you start criticizing."

  He held it up to her lips and she turned her head away, but he was having none of it. He was holding her to him by looping his arm around her neck

  "C'mon, open up!"

  "No!" she screamed, fighting him off enough to slip her head out of his arm and hop down from the counter. But he was right behind her wrapping his arm around her waist and spinning her so she was looking up at him. She turned her face away to avoid the sandwich he was pressing to her lips.

  "No means no! No means no!" She giggled trying to push him away as he pressed her back into the other counter.

  "I'm not going to let you go until you try some."

  She huffed, her hands pressed to his bare chest. He lifted his sandwich to her lips. She took a quick bite with a growl, chewed quickly and swallowed. Her eyes darted back and forth while her taste buds categorized the sandwich as a 'yay' or 'nay'. Then she looked up, gave a tiny shrug of concession and said, "It's aight..."

  He smiled and leaned in. "Told ya."

  "Hey, I said it was 'aight', not that I just have to have one right away—" Nicole forgot what she was saying. Hell, she almost forgot her name when his tongue swiped at the corner of her mouth.

  "Got some peanut butter right there..."

  She giggled when he started suckling on her bottom lip and licking it. "Was this your plan all along?"

  He just smiled and kissed her deeper until she was moaning and wrapping her arms around his waist.

  "I think I'm liking peanut butter and bananas more already," she whispered when she came up for air.

  "Yeah?"

  She nodded and ran her fingers through his hair, looking up at his dark eyes with as much warmth and love...

  Oh God...

  "What?" Gabriel asked, his brow furrowing a little.

  "Nothing," she whispered. "I just..."

  Gabriel tilted his head to the side, grinning at how tongue-tied she'd become. "You just what?"

  Nicole gazed up at him. How many times had she looked at him and dreamed of the moment when he would look at her like he was now. How many times had she dreamed about him touching her, being inside of her, and saying that he wanted her? He'd done that and more. He wanted her, enjoyed being around her. He wanted the best for her. That was enough, wasn't it?

  It should be enough. But as soon as the thought entered her head she wanted to say it. She wanted to tell him and hear what he would say.

  Then again, what if she spoke those words and he changed? What if he started thinking she was dreaming of marriage and babies, and a two-car garage? What if he got scared? And, worse than that, what if he just didn't feel that strongly about her?

  "I just can't wait to taste the rest of you," she murmured, lifting her lips up so she could kiss him again, and in the process wipe her mind clean of the thoughts that had come up without warning. That was better. His kiss would turn her mind to mush, and she would be okay while she figured out how to handle this.

  She could make this enough. For now.

  Chapter 12

  The day had finally come. The album was finished and Phantom Records was throwing Fool the World a release party. Soon the album would drop in stores and then luck and lots of publicity would take care of the rest. In the meantime, the celebration was in full swing and the band was giving everyone invited a taste of their music.

  Nicole stared up at the stage in awe, feeling warmth flood her veins and ripple just under her skin. That was what their music made her feel. And watching Gabriel play... There was nothing sexier in the world, except the way he looked naked on top of her. She devoured the sight of him, his ripped jeans, his legs shoulder-width apart and the muscles cording under his brown t-shirt, his mouth against the mic while he lent his voice to the backup vocals. And then he would step back and let his fingers take over. His teeth would scrape over his full bottom lip, his fingers would strum nimbly over the strings, and he would arch his back into the chords that filled the air. She could feel every movement of his fingers like they were on her skin.

  They made it look so perfect, so easy. The drumbeat was intense and had her moving, the bass and the high screech of the rhythm guitar meshed perfectly with the energy of the lyrics and the vocals. They all looked so good up there, doing what they did best, each of them so talented on their own that when they came together they were seamless. But watching Gabriel – just him – made her swell with pride and she never took her eyes away from him for long.

  Jonny strutted on stage, singing the lyrics he and Gabe had written together before pulling the mic away from his face so he could shake that blond head of hair to the riffs that Gabe made look so easy to play. It was a preview of greatness, and everyone at their party could feel it. All she had to do was look at how pumped all the guests were listening to the few songs they played to sense that this was just the beginning of good things for them.

  All too soon the preview was over. They thanked everyone and then stepped off the stage to mingle with the crowd again while a DJ took over.

  He came straight to her when he was done, and she greeted him with a big kiss and huge beaming smile to go with her hug.

  "Can I be your groupie?" she teased.

  He ran his hands through his hair and laughed. "Sounded good?"

  "Mm-hmm." She nodded emphatically. "And looked even better."

  "Ohh, you're a good groupie, aren't ya?"

  She grinned and took a sip of her drink, licking subtly at the rim of her glass before purring, "Actually I'm a naughty groupie. Very naughty."

  Gabriel's eyes lit up and he was about to say something when he was interrupted by Nuke and their manager coming to tap him on the shoulder s
o they could introduce him to an editor of a music magazine.

  "Go ahead," she said. "I'll elaborate later." That earned her a broad grin from him before he sauntered off and blended into the crowd.

  She mingled for a little while with Trish, Ian, and Jackie, meeting and chatting with some new people and nibbling on the food available. Soon she separated herself from the group and their acquaintances to go to the bathroom. She squeezed through the crowd, making her way to the lavish restroom, but stopped when she ran into a very tall, very unfeminine body coming out of the women’s bathroom.

  She stared up in shock and then tsked, tsked with a laugh. "Jonny, is there a reason you're coming out of the girl's bathroom?"

  Jonny had the good grace to look sheepish. Well, slightly sheepish anyway. It was a hard look to pull off when he was grinning from ear to ear and pulling on the arm of his jacket.

  "I got lost?" he offered with a shrug.

  "Yeah, and who'd you get 'lost' with?"

  "Too many chicks to remember," he joked, putting his finger up to his lips in a mock gesture of silence, though Nicole knew that as soon as he got the chance he was going to share his escapade with anyone who would listen.

  "Your fly is open, Jonny B," she called, laughing as he looked down and then turned away from the crowd at the end of the hallway to zip himself up.

  She entered the bathroom, heading straight for the stall to pee, but paused on the way.

  Meredith Rowe was sitting on the sink, buttoning up the short white vest she was wearing, which she was naked under, judging by the uninterrupted expanse of pale pink skin revealed. The other hand was reapplying her red lipstick. She somehow managed to make even that simple gesture look cool, like any moment a photographer was going to come out of a stall and snap a photo for some magazine cover. She had one long leg hanging off the edge and one perched all the way on the sink, her face close to the glass. Nicole noticed the red suspenders dangling beside her narrow hips, which were just barely covered by the tight white jeans she was wearing. Those Husky-blue eyes turned to Nicole's, staring at her through the glass, though she didn't stop what she was doing. She smiled. Nicole smiled back, and then hurried into the stall.

  She waited for the sound of Meredith leaving while she used the restroom. Jonny had obviously just finished fucking Meredith. The rather comical/scary thought that she could be in the very stall they'd been getting it on in made her groan internally. But Meredith didn't leave, even though Nicole made sure to take her time. When she was finished and stepped out, Meredith was still perched on the sink, an arm draped over her knee, watching her. Those bright eyes rimmed in kohl seemed to see everything, and the ice-blonde hair fanning out over her shoulders with streaks of black mixed in, made them brighter and fiercer-looking. Nicole could see a rosary tattoo looping around her wrist, the cross on the end seeming to sway on the back of her hand as she lazily wiggled her fingers.

  "Hey Nicole," she said with a lopsided grin, that raspy voice echoing in the quiet of the bathroom. "It's been a while, right?"

  "Yeah, it has," Nicole said. She washed her hands, forcing herself to keep her movements relaxed and remember that this woman wasn't a threat. She was just a remnant of Gabriel's past and she didn't need to be rude to her. Not yet. "How've you been?"

  "Good, good." She leaned her head back against the wall. "Working hard on the new album. How about you?"

  Nicole shrugged and dried her hands off. "Just working, hanging out. Same old, same old."

  Meredith nodded. Nicole tried not to be unnerved by how blatantly Meredith was watching her. She could have sworn the girl's eyes were perusing her body, but then she figured she must have done the same thing when she entered the bathroom and took in Meredith's appearance. The girl was hard to ignore.

  "Oh hey, you got a string loose on the back of your shirt," Meredith said. She crooked a finger, motioning for her to come closer. "Come here, I'll get rid of it for you."

  She did as Meredith asked and the blonde swung her legs around so that they were on either side of Nicole's body. She felt guitar-calloused fingers sweep her hair to the side, and then they paused, circling lightly.

  "Fuck, your skin is so soft!" Meredith exclaimed, leaning over so Nic could see a glimpse of the other girl's profile when she glanced over her shoulder. "What do you use?"

  Nicole tried to suppress a shiver as Meredith's thumb stroked the back of her neck. The only rock star that touched her skin like this was Gabriel. But she figured it was just an artist thing. She'd gone to college and the artsy types in theatre and music classes were a touchy-feely bunch. She told Meredith she was just good with exfoliating and gave her the name of the body butter she used.

  "Well, it works," Meredith said, before snapping the string off her shirt and letting it drift in slow motion to the floor. "I bet Gabriel can't keep his hands off you.”

  Nicole turned around and gave her a wary smile. "Thanks." It was all she could muster when she thought about Meredith understanding how hands-on Gabriel could be.

  "No problem," she said lightly. But there was something in the other woman's eyes that seemed to register Nicole’s discomfort. "Listen, Nicole, I hope you don't feel weird around me or anything. I'm not competition."

  Nicole's eyes snapped up. "What?!"

  "For Gabe? I know it must be kind of awkward for you knowing we used to hook up, but that's all over and done with. I'm not trying to steal him from you." Meredith tilted her head to the side, a strange cat-like smile on her face. "He told me you guys talked about me. He didn't mention it?"

  Umm... no, he didn't... What the fuck...?

  "Umm...yeah, of course he did," she lied. She would have to ask him about that later. Right now she was too busy trying to figure out why Meredith was trying to be so open about things. She was trying to figure out whether she was being fed bullshit or not.

  Meredith nodded. "Good, 'cause I thought he might have kept it from you. You know, to protect you from feeling uncomfortable about him talking to me. If I was his girlfriend, I'd be antsy about some chick from the past being around him all the time, too. Well, I mean, if I was the girlfriend type, that is. But, like I said, nothing's going on."

  Nicole didn't know if she should breathe a sigh of relief or watch her more closely. And when had they talked about her? Why hadn't Gabe mentioned anything about it if they were still so cool they could talk about Nicole knowing they'd slept together? She thought he felt uncomfortable around Meredith, but from the looks of it, he was just trying to protect her. Was she holding him back from being friendly because he was trying to keep her from feeling insecure?

  Meredith kicked her legs back and forth. "I mean, don't get me wrong. He's a great guy, a good catch. We used to be pretty good friends, but then we lost touch. He was off on the road a lot, and me and the guys were making our first album and stuff. You know how it goes when you're apart all the time. You start off real close and then just kind of... drift apart."

  "I can see how that would happen to some people. Not so much for Gabe and me, though," Nicole replied, her voice coming out clipped and somewhat colder than she'd expected. She was bristling at the other woman's words, starting to feel that edginess creep in. Bringing that up made Nicole realize that pretty soon she was going to be the one separated from Gabe. And as nice as Meredith seemed at the moment, there was something that didn't sit well with Nicole. Why bring up that Gabriel used to be close to her, that distance and time were what caused a wedge, when in a few months distance from Meredith would be marginal, and there would be plenty of time to catch up?

  "Well, yeah, of course you two are different; it's obvious," Meredith said, completely unfazed. "I just wanted you to know what he and I had going was nothing like what you have. You just have to see him look at you and you know he's got it bad. Besides," Meredith continued with a grin, "I got my eyes set on someone else right now... in case you hadn't noticed."

  Nicole brushed her hair out of her eyes, trying to hide her smile. The gi
rl wasn't shy. And the mention of her tryst with Jonny reminded Nicole that in both action and words, Meredith seemed well over Gabriel.

  "Yeah, I had an inkling," Nicole said. "Are you and Jonny an item now?”

  "Meh, not really; we’re just having fun. Like I said, I'm not the girlfriend type. Too wild to be tied down my mom always said. Just like her," she said hopping down off the sink and stretching her arms above her head, revealing a wide expanse of flat stomach before she turned to check her makeup one more time. "I like being able to do what I like, when I like... with whomever I like. But he's a fun playmate for now."

  From the back Meredith's vest was completely see-through, showing off a set of angel wing tattoos on each shoulder blade. The irony of angel wings and a rosary tattoo on a woman who had just finished fucking a guy in a public restroom wasn't lost on Nicole.

  "Well, thanks Meredith," Nicole said suddenly. "I know you didn't have to say all that, but I appreciate it." She hadn't completely abandoned her apprehension around Meredith. But she could be nice and still keep her eyes open, just in case Meredith was playing a game.

  "No problem. It was all true. And you can call me Mere."

  "Okay. Mere, it is."

  Meredith smiled, showing white teeth behind those Cupid's bow lips.

  Time would tell whether Nicole would be able to trust that smile or not, but for the moment she decided to give the girl the benefit of the doubt, leaving the bathroom with her under a silent truce.

  ***

  "Are you satisfied with me?"

  It was one of the rare nights Gabriel had his place all to himself, and he was lying back against the couch, his guitar in hand, strumming quietly while staring absently at the ceiling. Another melody had come into his head, which spiraled off into another and then another, leaving him gently playing background music for Nicole.