Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4)

by Isabel Lucero

  “Hater. So, I hear Merrick’s in town. Have you talked to him?”

  I didn’t tell my sister about me and Merrick either. Nobody knows, because he’s not out, and regardless of what he’s done to me in the past, it’s not for me to out him to anyone.

  Her and my mom have asked what happened between us, so I’ve given a half-truth—we had a fight.

  It’s not a lie, but there’s more to it than that. I just never led them to believe it was a big deal, so they always ask if I’ve heard from him or if we’ve made up yet. No is the answer to both. He stopped reaching out when I kept ignoring him.

  “No, Lili, I haven’t. I told you we aren’t friends anymore.”

  “I know, but it’s been a long time. It couldn’t have been that big of a fight, could it?”

  “Coming from the grudge queen, that’s funny. You’re still mad at Sarah for wearing your shirt when you were twelve.”

  “First of all, that bitch knew that was my favorite shirt, and she didn’t just wear it, Alejandro, she stole it, wore it, and ruined it. So, this is not the same.”

  “She’s our cousin, Lili, you have to get over it.”

  “Hey, I still talk to her, but I’ll never forget.”

  My sister’s always had a flare for dramatics, but at least I got the subject changed.

  “Well, I’m about to be home. I’ll call you tomorrow. You comin’ over to Mami’s when I get there or what? I need to hold my niece.”

  “You can hold her, change her, feed her, and whatever else allows me to have a nap. So yeah, I’ll be there.”

  I chuckle. “Okay. Love you. See you tomorrow.”

  “Love you, too.”

  When I pull up to my house, my phone dings with a text message.

  Lili: Don’t think you got away with not answering my question. I’ll bug you about it manaña.

  She has the nerve to end it with an angel emoji.

  I wish I could tell her what happened, because maybe then she’d understand and not keep questioning me about it.

  But telling her the truth would drudge up a lot of memories I’d rather stay buried.

  8

  Alejandro

  6 Years Ago

  Hours after our encounter in the alleyway, as I’m asleep in my bed, my phone goes off incessantly. Text message after text message keep popping up, lighting up my room and filling it with that annoying high-pitch bing-bong sound.

  I snatch it off the nightstand and start looking through the messages. Clearly, Merrick’s been drinking, and now he’s drunk texting me.

  Kingston: I’m sorry.

  Kingston: I wanted together

  Kingston: To do this together. Everything togerther

  Kingston: You have a boyfriendd and I justw ant you

  Kingston: I may be drunk buut I want to tel l you something.

  Kingston: I’m gonna tell everyone. Right now. I’m about to telll them all the truth.

  Kingston: Party at my brothers. Everyoness here so I mightas well.

  “Oh God, oh God,” I murmur, yanking the covers off me and hurrying out of bed. I hit speaker and call his phone while I shove my legs through a pair of jeans. It goes to voicemail. I hit redial while I’m putting on a shirt. It goes to voicemail again.

  “Fucking, Kingston.”

  He shouldn’t do this now. Not when he’s drunk. I grab my car keys and hurry to Elijah’s house and hope I’m not too late.

  When I pull up, there’s several people in the garage.

  “Hey, Alejandro! You lookin’ for Merrick?” Sky asks.

  My heart seizes up. I wonder if he already told them. “Yeah, where is he?”

  “Went inside. He’s pretty wasted. Was saying all kinds of shit.”

  Oh no. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. Who knows, man. You can probably find him in his room.”

  “All right. Cool. Thanks.”

  Sky goes back to talking to the girl he had his arm around, and I find a few more people inside. One of them being Elijah.

  “Hey, E. You seen Merrick lately?”

  Elijah spins around. “Oh, hey. Yeah, I saw him a little bit ago. Maybe upstairs? I don’t know for sure, but if you find him, tell him he’s helping clean this mess tomorrow. I told him a few people, not twenty.”

  “Okay. Will do.”

  I jog up the stairs and head straight for his room. When I open the door, I expect to find him passed out on his bed. What I don’t expect is to walk in on him in bed with a girl.

  Okay, he’s in bed, she’s getting out of it.

  “Um, knock much?” she asks, pulling her shirt down over her breasts.

  “Sorry. I was looking for. . .” I trail off and point to Merrick.

  “Well, I was leaving anyway.”

  After she’s gone, I try to get him to wake up, but he’s pretty out of it. He already has his shirt off, but his jeans and shoes are still on, so I remove them and get him under the covers.

  I make the decision to stay in his room so I can talk to him when he wakes up. I push the chair he has in his room closer to the bed and prop my feet up on the end of the mattress and sleep the rest of the night uncomfortably.

  “Ali. Ali.” A hand on my shoulder shakes me. “Ali, wake up.”

  I move to straighten up, but the angle I was sleeping in has my neck and shoulders stiff. “Ow, shit.”

  “What’re you doin’, man?”

  I put my feet on the ground and tilt my head from side to side, feeling the ache in the back of my neck. “I came here because you sent me a hundred texts talking about how you were about to tell everyone everything.”

  Merrick drops back to his bed, rubbing his head with his hand. “Oh shit.”

  “Yeah, oh shit. I didn’t think you should do that drunk. Do you know if you said anything to anyone?”

  “I don’t think so. God, I feel like shit.”

  “Do you remember being with a girl last night? Because I walked in just as she was getting dressed and leaving.”

  Merrick looks at me with confusion and concern etched on his face. “A girl? Naked in my bed?”

  “Yep.”

  “Fuck, I was really messed up. Pretty sure I didn’t fuck her, though.”

  “Pretty sure?”

  “Did you fuck your boyfriend last night?” he counters.

  I roll my eyes. “Anyway, you had your pants and shoes on when I came in, so unless you fuck with everything but your shirt on, you probably didn’t. I don’t think you would’ve had it in you to do much anyway.”

  He snorts, then angles his head up at me and grins. “I would’ve if you were here with me.”

  “Sure.”

  “I can guarantee my dick would get hard for you no matter how drunk I was.”

  My cock twitches. Fucking Kingston.

  “So, you still planning on telling everyone now that you’re sober?” I ask, getting off the subject of his dick.

  With a sigh, he flops onto his back and rests his arm over his eyes. “Fuck, man. I don’t know.”

  “Yeah, I figured that would be the case. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t do something you’d regret when you were sober.”

  I head for the door, but his voice stops me.

  “Ali, wait.”

  “What?”

  “I want to tell them.”

  “But you’re not ready. I get it.”

  He sighs. “I still want you. I mean it. I want a future together.”

  I laugh. “And be like Bert and Ernie? Living together and having people question what our relationship is?”

  Merrick chuckles. “People have roommates.”

  “We’d pretend to be roommates our whole lives? I’d never be allowed to kiss you or hold your hand in public?”

  Merrick produces another sigh. “I can’t believe you have a boyfriend.”

  It’s my turn to sigh now. “He’s a good guy.”

  He scoffs. “I hate him.”

  I laugh. “You don’t know him.”

/>   “He has you. That’s enough for me to hate him.”

  I blow out a breath. “I broke up with him last night.”

  Merrick’s head snaps up. “What? Why?”

  I sit on the edge of his bed. “Because he’s not you, and after we were together in the alley, all I wanted was to kiss you. You told me you were gonna tell people. You said you wanted me, and I hoped it was true.”

  The bed shifts as he sits up, and I glance over my shoulder at him. “Wanna kiss me?”

  I chuckle and reach for a pillow to throw at him. “You’re an asshole.”

  Merrick catches the pillow and puts it aside. “Yeah, but an asshole you want to kiss.”

  I arch a brow and we both start cracking up.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, buuuuut. . .” He waggles his brows.

  “You’re annoying.”

  “I know.” He crawls across the bed and sits next to me, taking my hand in his. “I’m serious. I do want you. And I do want to kiss you. And I’m fucking thrilled that you broke up with your dumb boyfriend.”

  I give him a sad grin. “But you’re not telling people.”

  “Not right now, but I will. We’re back in town for a while, and we can go back to doing what we’ve always done.”

  As much as I hate having to be secretive, if it means being with Merrick, I’m going to do it. He’s always had a hold on me. I don’t even realize in the moment that he said “We’re back in town for a while,” like they already knew they were going to leave again.

  I agreed, hoping that soon would actually be soon, and that we’d be able to be a couple. I had no idea that he’d be leaving Gaspar within six months. But he knew. He just didn’t tell me.

  9

  Merrick

  Present Day

  “I can’t believe we haven’t seen you in a year!” Elijah says, pulling me in for a hug. “So much has been happening.”

  After coming into town yesterday, I checked into my hotel, then crashed for about fifteen hours. When I woke up, I scarfed down enough food for two people, then took a shower and made my way to Elijah’s. So far, no sign of the paparazzi, but I have no doubt they’ll be here soon.

  I take a seat in the center of the couch while he and Nova sit together on the loveseat.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m just glad you got married right before I went overseas.”

  “You know we wouldn’t have had the wedding without you,” Nova says with a smile.

  I grin in return. I haven’t had a lot of time to get to know Nova, because my schedule’s been crazy for the past five years, but I’ve been back for holidays, their wedding, and a few other times. Never for more than a few days at a time, but I really like her, and I think she’s perfect for Elijah. I’ve never seen him so happy.

  “I just can’t believe you two got married before either Royce or Cill.”

  Elijah chuckles. “Well, I’m the oldest, I had to do it before I got any more gray hair.”

  Nova playfully smacks him in the arm.

  “So, how long can we expect you to be in town?”

  I stretch my arms across the back of the couch and rest my right ankle over my left knee. “I’m not sure. I don’t have to be back in New York for a while. They’re finally giving us a break after this long ass tour, but I’m sure Evan, our manager, will be in touch within a month, asking if we’re writing music.”

  “A month is still a lot longer than we’ve had you home for a while.”

  “Yeah, but I’ll probably be able to stick around even longer. The guys may come back for a little while, so if we need to get together for writing sessions or anything, we can do that here. I shouldn’t have to leave for a while. They don’t expect another album until next year.”

  “That’s good.” Elijah smiles. “Hopefully people don’t act fanatical around here.”

  “Eh. Even if they do, I’m sure it’ll die down eventually. They’ll get used to me. I’m hoping the same happens with the paps when they finally arrive. They’ll realize I’m boring and go bother the other guys who are on islands with handfuls of women.”

  They both laugh, thinking I’m joking. Then Elijah looks at me. “Oh, you’re serious? Who’s on an island?”

  “Sky,” we say at the same time.

  “Yeah, not sure why I asked. So, did you tell Royce and Cillian you were coming here?”

  I shake my head. “Nah. I know Royce is at the bar considering it’s a Friday night. Cill’s probably at his tattoo shop. I figure I’ll just go out and see them in their natural habitat.”

  “Is that such a good idea?” E asks, concern on his face. “You don’t have a bodyguard or anything?”

  “Fuck no. I told Evan I was leaving security behind. It’s a small town. I don’t expect mobs of people to attack me.”

  “Well, okay. Just be careful.”

  I give him a wry smile. “Yes, Dad.”

  “Funny. Come over earlier tomorrow. We can barbecue or something. Then, of course, our usual Sunday dinners.”

  “Sounds good.” I push up from the couch and give them both a hug before I leave.

  I drive to Main Street and find a parking spot in front of Flaky Vicki’s bakery. After putting some money in the parking meter, I start making my way down the block, towards Cill’s tattoo shop.

  “Merrick? Is that you?” I hear a female voice ask.

  Shit, that was fast.

  I turn around and find Liliana coming out of the bakery with a bag in one hand and a to-go coffee cup in the other. My heart begins to race, wondering if she’s with her brother, and if he’s about to pop out of the store any second.

  Seeing Lili propels me back to my teenage years when she used to burst into Ali’s room and bug us to play with her. She looks a lot like her brother, with those honey brown eyes and chestnut brown hair.

  “Lili?”

  Her eyes light up and she lets out a little squeal before rushing over to me. After a quick hug, she steps back and angles her head up to look me in the eye.

  “Holy shit, you’ve grown.”

  I chuckle. “It’s been a while. How are you?”

  “I’m good, yeah.” She looks down at herself. “Don’t judge me right now, though. I’m a hot mess. I normally look better, but I didn’t think I’d run into a celebrity.” She glances around and lowers her voice. “I mean, a regular guy. I don’t want to blow your cover.”

  I laugh again. “It’s fine, and you look great.”

  “Pft. My hair is tied up into the messiest bun, this is the second day in a row I’ve worn these leggings, and I’m pretty sure my shirt has spit-up on it, but thanks for lying.”

  “Spit-up?”

  “Oh. I had a baby a month ago.”

  “Wow, congratulations!”

  “Thank you! It’s no being rich and famous, but I did push a human out of me, sooo. . .”

  I bark out another laugh. “You win, for sure.”

  “Well, I was just running out for a coffee, because. . .newborn, and some doughnuts, because I wanted them. My baby’s with my mom and Alejandro, so I guess I should get back.”

  At the sound of his name, my body reacts. “Ali?”

  She grins. “Yeah, he just got back in town, too. What a coincidence. Do you want to come over? You can meet the baby.”

  “Oh, no, I shouldn’t. We haven’t really talked in a while, and things might be awkward.”

  Her eyes study my face. “Yeah, he may have mentioned something about an argument. But you’re really gonna turn down seeing my baby?”

  I shake my head. “Of course not. Maybe another time? I’ll be around for a while.”

  “Cool. Give me your number and I’ll call you. Don’t worry, I won’t sell it to the tabloids or to a bunch of thirsty ass girls.”

  I laugh, and she hands me her coffee cup while she digs her phone out of the waistband of her pants. “Okay, go.” I rattle off the number, and she saves it in her phone, then takes her cup back. “I’m so glad you’re back and that I got to
see you. I don’t have a lot of childhood memories that don’t include you. You and Alejandro were attached at the hip for so long. I hope y’all can make up.”

  My lips quirk up on one side. “I hope so, too. Take care.”

  “You, too.”

  After my run-in with Lili, I continue on toward Cill’s shop, but I can’t stop thinking about Ali, and how he’s at his mom’s house right now. The house I spent so much time in. I could just head over right now and see him, but I don’t think we should have our first conversation in front of his family. I may need to ask Lili for his number so we can set up a time and place to meet. If he even wants to do that.

  The last time I saw Ali, he told me he was done with me. For good. But before then, back between the ages of seventeen and eighteen, he told me nothing would ever stop the way he felt about me. Ali admitted to me that I’d forever have a place in his heart.

  I hope that was true. I hope that overrides the anger and frustration he had with me later. People say things they don’t mean when they’re mad, and that’s all I have to hold onto at this point. Hopefully he’s not done with me for good.

  10

  Merrick

  9 Years Ago

  “You’re so full of it,” Ali says, elbowing me while he laughs.

  “No I’m not. I’m serious. I’m the best fucking basketball player on Earth.”

  Ali tries to steal the ball from me, but I hold it up over my head. I have a few inches on him, but he comes chest to chest with me and tries to hit it out of my hands.

  “You’re a cheater, that’s what you are.”

  I look at his mouth as he’s pushed up against me. “Just admit I’m the best.”

  His cheeks turn pink. “No.”

  He jumps and attempts to steal the ball, but I spin around and bend at the waist, holding the ball in front of my stomach.

  Ali pushes against me from behind, still trying to get the ball. To anyone watching, it just looks like we’re playing basketball, but I can feel his cock against my ass, and basketball is the furthest thing from my mind.