31 Days of Autumn

by Fallowfield, C. J.

  ‘I’m sorry, but it was him. He gave the order. He took her from me. I had no choice. I did it for Jenny. He took her from me,’ he repeated, shaking his head, pain etched all over his face. ‘I swear to you now that I’ll turn myself in as soon as we land in London. I don’t care what happens to me. He deserved to die.’

  No one said a word, but a look passed between Andy and Chris and they nodded at each other and walked over to where Dean was standing, the gun now dangling from his right hand. Andy took it from him, wiped off his prints, then held it and fired it into the dead guy’s shoulder. He then pulled out a knife and cut the ropes, letting the body slump to the ground, while Chris tipped another gun out of a clear plastic bag to land on the floor next to him. Dean and I just watched, silent, wondering what was happening as Chris gathered up the rope.

  ‘When you’re eventually questioned by the police for your part in this rescue mission, you arrived to extract us and he was already dead. All that you know is that he was shot by me in self-defence when he pulled his own gun on me, understood?’ Andy ordered.

  ‘I can’t let you do that,’ Dean replied, shaking his head again.

  ‘You can and you will. You’ve already lost too much, you’re not going to prison for doing something every single one of us here wanted to do, but didn’t have the guts to. We never shoot to kill unless we have to.’

  ‘You didn’t shoot an innocent man, Dean,’ Chris urged, when Dean gave them a pained look of guilt. ‘You shot a traitor, a murderer. God knows how many people he’s kidnapped, tortured, or murdered before this week. He took Jenny from you and he left Mrs. Davenport in that hellhole to die,’ he added, pointing over at the bunker.

  ‘Discussion over,’ Andy stated firmly. ‘Are you up to flying us home? She needs urgent medical care, so if you’re not, I will.’

  ‘I can do it,’ Dean nodded, looking back down at the body, taking a deep breath, and exhaling slowly. ‘I got what I came for. I want to go home now so that I can grieve.’

  ‘Understood. Ok then, let’s move out. Mrs. Davenport has some children to get home to, and I need to inform the police what’s happened,’ Andy ordered.

  I helped to lift the stretcher into the helicopter and sat on the floor at her side as we took off. I held her hand and rubbed my thumb over her engagement ring, a world full of possibilities re-opening to me. I smiled as I heard Brooke’s scream of joy through my headphones when Andy called in to let her know Ellie was alive and we were coming home. I couldn’t wait for Ellie to come around, so that I could look into her beautiful eyes when I told her that I loved her and that her sacrifice hadn’t been in vain. That her stupidly brave decision had saved Oliver and James’s lives.

  Not to mention my own.

  Day Twenty Seven

  Saturday 19th September

  Ellie

  I could hear beeping. Why could I hear beeping? And why couldn’t I find Mum, Dad, and Jenny? They should be here, they all arrived before me. I could hear voices and turned my head, trying to home in on them.

  ‘Mama.’ The high-pitched baby’s voice sounded just like my little girl. I smiled sadly. My beautiful Eva. I was going to miss her so much. I was going to miss all of them. Everyone that I’d left behind. I wondered if time worked differently when you’d died. Would it be years before I saw them all again, or would it be like the Lost finale, and we’d all arrive at the Pearly Gates together instead of dying at different times. No, that was fiction. Dying wasn’t a fantasy, it was real. I squinted. Why was that bright light back?

  ‘Ellie? Ellie? Baby, can you hear me? Open your eyes for me.’

  ‘Dan?’ What was he doing here, too? He couldn’t be here yet, our children needed him.

  ‘It’s me, I’m right here, Ellie. You’re safe now, you can open your eyes.’ I felt warm fingers take mine and the heat of breath on my lips as they were grazed. I felt them tingling, a pleasurable burning sensation that filled me with happiness. Dan’s kisses had always affected me so badly. Everything about him had, from the moment we shook hands in the airport.

  ‘Mama,’ came the little girl’s voice even louder.

  ‘Eva, I miss you,’ I choked.

  ‘She’s here. She’s missed you so much too, Ellie. We all have. Open your eyes, baby, please,’ Dan’s voice pleaded. Everything sounded and felt so real. I felt warm. The mattress I was lying on was comfortable and not damp. Instead of the smell of decaying bodies and a backed-up toilet, I could smell bleach and lemons.

  ‘I’m scared,’ I whispered. I was happy now. What if I opened my eyes to find I was hallucinating and I was still locked in that bunker, slowly dying? I didn’t want to go back there. I never wanted to go back there.

  ‘There’s no need to be scared. We found you, you’re in the hospital as you were so dehydrated and have a nasty leg infection, but you’re going to be ok, Ellie. We’re not ok though. We need you. Eva, Jonas, and Oliver need their mother and I need my wife. Come back to me, baby.’

  ‘Oliver? Oliver’s alive?’ I asked, feeling suddenly elated.

  ‘Sitting in the waiting room, desperate to give you one of his big hugs and sloppy kisses. James is pretty banged up, but he saved him. I’ve never lied to you, Ellie, and I’m promising you that you can open your eyes. You’re safe now.’ I felt fingers squeeze mine again and the spark of electricity that always happened when he touched me. I blinked a few times, slowly adjusting to the brilliance of the white that replaced the darkness it felt like I’d only just left. Instead of a green-stained, curved concrete ceiling, I could see white tiles, interspersed with panels of light. The cold damp air I’d got used to was now warm and fresh. I turned my head to the right and saw a stand next to me with bags hanging from it, two tubes going into my arm. My shoulder was covered by a white gown with blue and green crosses on it. I felt my lower lip start to tremble with emotion. I really was in the hospital. I hadn’t died. I was alive? ‘Ellie,’ came Dan’s deep sensual voice to my left. I slowly looked around, holding my breath in anticipation. I had no idea how long it had been since I’d seen him. It felt like months.

  ‘Dan,’ I moaned, tears of joy suddenly filling my eyes to see his handsome face looking back at me. He had a mixture of concern and happiness written all over it at the same time.

  ‘Welcome back,’ he smiled, tears of emotion swimming in his sea-green eyes. He dipped his head to kiss me and it was as if someone had just breathed life back into my dead body, sending warmth and security surging through my system. I flung my arms around his neck, not caring about the sting as I ripped the IVs out of my arm. I buried my face in his neck and started to cry, totally overwhelmed to be safe and so close to him again. ‘O, baby. I’m so sorry it took us so long to find you.’

  ‘Jenny, they killed … Jenny,’ I sobbed, as he put his arms around me and hauled me up against his chest.

  ‘I know,’ he whispered as he kissed my hair. ‘I saw it on camera. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but every single man who took you is dead. None of them can hurt anyone ever again. Sssshhhh, I’ve got you now. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?’

  ‘No physical pain,’ I sniffed, trying to block out the image of Jenny’s disfigured face as she fell to the ground. Emotionally I was a wreck. Happy as I was to be back in Dan’s arms, part of me wished I was still asleep. I’d been living in blissful denial and anything would be better than the memory of that bunker and the things I’d been forced to witness. How was I supposed to get over that, to get over what had happened to my friend? I sobbed again and Dan tried to soothe me by kissing my forehead and rubbing his hands up and down my back. ‘I don’t want you to ever let me go,’ I whispered.

  ‘I don’t plan on ever letting you go, Ellie. Not ever. A minute without you is like a slow painful death, a week was … I have no words for what that did to me, or to everyone that loves you. Thinking I’d never see you again made me want to give up, but I didn’t, I kept going for you, for my children, just like you fought for us. You’re
a brave and stubborn woman, Ellie Davenport,’ he murmured, kissing my forehead again.

  ‘I learned from the best.’

  ‘Mama.’

  ‘Eva?’ I called, letting go of Dan and looking around for her.

  ‘She’s right here, in the cot in the corner,’ Dan told me, squeezing my hand again. ‘There’s two single beds for the boys and I have a bed over there, by the en-suite next to you. We’re not leaving your side until you’re discharged, ok?’

  ‘Thank you.’ I managed a weak smile as I looked up at him. ‘Can I see her, see the boys?’

  ‘Are you sure you’re up to it?’ he frowned.

  ‘Dan, don’t even think about keeping them from me, I need to hold them. I’m not going to feel complete until I’ve seen everyone I love again.’ I reached for the remote dangling from the side of my bed and pressed the button to raise the head of the bed until I was sitting upright. Dan went to the corner of the room and bent over. He turned around and set Eva on the floor, holding both of her hands. She broke into the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen when she looked up at me.

  ‘Mama,’ she cried. Dan let go of her hands and mine flew to my mouth as she held out her arms and took a few steps towards me with a grin all over her face. When she wobbled, Dan quickly grabbed her hands to steady her, before lifting her up and walking towards me.

  ‘She’s walking?’ I laughed through my tears.

  ‘Only a few steps, but she’s a lot younger than the boys were,’ he nodded, a proud smile curling up the corners of his lips. Someone had dressed her in a gorgeous pink dress with white daisies on and a pair of white tights. I held out my arms, never more impatient to hold her, and Dan passed her to me. I kissed her again and again as tears of happiness poured down my cheeks.

  ‘O, darling, I love you,’ I moaned as she clung to me. ‘Where are the boys? I need to see my boys.’

  ‘I’ll go and get them and let everyone know that you’re awake.’

  ‘Everyone?’ I asked, wiping my eyes.

  ‘Just a couple of people in a private reception room. Jonas, Oliver, Brooke, Molly, Lucas, Summer, and Logan, John, Edward, Magda, and my parents,’ he shrugged with a wink.

  ‘Where are James and Dean?’ I asked. ‘I need to see them both too.’

  ‘James is here, as a patient. He had to have surgery on his nose and leg. He’s still a bit groggy and sleepy, so you won’t be seeing him today. Dean needed some time to himself.’

  ‘What day is it?’ I asked, my heart aching as I tried to imagine how poor Dean was feeling.

  ‘Saturday, a week after you were taken,’ Dan replied, a frown furrowing his brow. It was only a week that I was down there? It had felt like longer.

  ‘He was going to propose to her last weekend, Dan. He shouldn’t be alone, no matter what he says.’

  ‘I’ll see what I can do, don’t get yourself stressed. You’ve been through a horrible ordeal, you don’t need any additional stress for the rest of your life, ok? Now can I leave you alone holding Eva, or are you too tired? I can put her back in the cot.’

  ‘Don’t take her from me, please,’ I pleaded. The thought of being able to touch, kiss, and hold all of them had kept me going through those dark hours. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘I’ll be a couple of minutes, that’s all. I’ll send in a nurse to put in your IVs again, ok?’

  I nodded, but it didn’t stop my heart beating wildly as he disappeared and left me. I hugged and kissed my daughter again, saying a silent thank you that I was back with my family. The door opened and a nurse with a kind-looking face came in with a smile.

  ‘How are you feeling, Ellie?’

  ‘Tearful, tired, and a little weak.’

  ‘After what you’ve been through, it’s only to be expected,’ she nodded as I held out my arm for her to reattach the drips. ‘No getting out of bed without someone to help you. Have you had any nightmares?’

  ‘Not yet,’ I confirmed, but I knew that they were stalking me and would catch up with me very soon. I’d had them for a long time after falling into the loch and tumbling down the stairs. Those traumas were nothing compared to the hell of living through last week.

  ‘The psychiatrist will be around to see you this afternoon if you’re feeling up to it. He’ll prescribe some medications that should help, and discuss what support he can give to you. Now we managed to give you a sponge bath while you were out of it, but we haven’t done your hair. If your husband’s up to it, I can remove your drips while he helps you shower, then come and put them back in.’

  ‘That would be lovely, thank you,’ I nodded vigorously as I looked down at my chipped nails and cringed at the thought of what my hair probably looked like after over a week without being cleaned.

  ‘If you need any assistance, just press this button and one of us will come to you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ It helped to know that I’d have someone to turn to other than Dan. He’d put on a brave face, but I could see in his eyes that he’d suffered so much too. He looked exhausted. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been running out of the door with a computer-related crisis. I had no idea if he’d resolved that. I had so much to catch up on.

  ‘I’ll come back to check the dressings on your leg. If you feel any pain, press this red button here for some morphine. You can’t overdose on it, so don’t worry. Try and press it the moment your leg starts to bother you, don’t wait until you’re in real pain. You’ll be here for a while, until we’re happy that you’re back to full strength and that leg’s on the mend.’ She squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me again. I could see the pity in her eyes. I didn’t want everyone’s sympathy. I had no right to have any. It was Jenny’s parents and Dean who needed it. Not long after she left, the door was pushed open by Dan, and a tiny blur of dark hair raced in.

  ‘Mummy, mummy,’ yelled Oliver as he climbed up onto the bed and started to cry, setting me off again. I held Eva with one arm as I lifted my other for him to scramble up. He threw himself at me, sobbing uncontrollably.

  ‘O, darling, it’s ok. I’m here, we’re together again. You were such a brave boy, I’m so proud of you.’

  ‘I was so scared and hungry,’ he moaned, his tears soaking my gown. ‘And I missed you so much.’

  ‘Me too, but there’s no need to be scared or hungry anymore. Mummy’s got to stay here for a while, but we’ll all be going home together soon.’

  ‘I want cuddles, Mummy,’ cried Jonas as Dan lifted him up onto the bed. He clambered onto my lap and I sobbed as I circled my arms around all three of them, plastering their little angelic faces in kisses. I looked up at Dan through my tears, feeling so happy in the moment, wishing it could last forever. He wiped his damp cheeks with a nod and a smile in return.

  ‘I love you,’ I whispered as I held his gaze, then looked down at my precious babies. ‘I love all of you.’ I felt the bed dip and Dan embraced them from behind, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine. ‘What happened? Who took us and how did you find us?’

  ‘Not now, Ellie. Let’s just enjoy being together again for a while. When you’ve seen everyone, if you’re not too tired, we can talk then. Otherwise it can wait until tomorrow.’ He kissed the tip of my nose and we just stayed like that, holding each other, finally reunited.

  I couldn’t believe how weak I felt. Just having a shower, with Dan holding me, helping me to wash my hair, felt like I’d done a marathon. I’d hardly eaten since we’d been taken. I’d wanted to make sure Oliver had enough, then James obviously needed to eat more than I did, too. If I’d had half a sandwich a day and a few mouthfuls of water, that was it. Showering, getting all of that grease and grime out of my hair, was incredible. Dan had taken the children out to the waiting room for everyone to entertain while I had a shower. I’d refused to see anyone until I’d cleaned up and really brushed my teeth, almost to the point of making my gums raw. Dan had showered at the same time, but I was so tired and weak that not even the sight of his naked body stirred me,
but what was more unusual was that neither had mine affected him. He got me dressed into a clean pair of silk pyjamas, then sat me down as he dried my hair for me.

  ‘Do you feel differently about me?’ I asked quietly, holding his gaze in the mirrored reflection, thankful to see his kind green eyes looking back at me and not Alfa’s evil brown ones. My eyes drifted to the nasty bruise and cut on my cheek and temple, where he’d knocked me out the night Jenny died. The thought made me shiver, and Dan frowned.

  ‘What do you mean?’ he asked, putting down the hairdryer and getting my mohair cardigan out of the wardrobe for me.

  ‘You didn’t get aroused in the shower.’ I dropped my eyes, not wanting to look at his face as he replied.

  ‘Jesus Christ, Ellie! What do you take me for?’ he uttered, sounding hurt, as he draped my cardigan over my shoulders. ‘I spent the last week imagining you being tortured, or probably dead. I’m overjoyed to have you back, but sex is the last bloody thing on my mind. I’m not sure it’s hit you yet, you’ve been so happy to see the children. I just want to make sure you’re ok before we even think about rekindling that side of our relationship.’

  ‘I’m sorry, it’s just … you’ve never not reacted before and … I need you to know that no one touched me, at least not that I’m aware of, and I’d understand if they had that it might make you feel differently about me.’ I swallowed hard. I was being polite. If it came out that I had been molested, or worse raped, while I was unconscious, I’d be really hurt if Dan turned away from me. He’d barely even kissed me since I woke up.

  ‘Ellie,’ he sighed. He dropped to crouch at my side and gently pulled my face around to look at his, sincerity written all over his features. ‘Never think that. Nothing could change the way I feel about you, but you have to understand how scared I was while you were gone. The ramifications of this could weigh on both of us for some time, Oliver too. My focus is on being there for you and him and doing whatever I can to make life easier for you when it inevitably hits you, because I’m sure it will. Sex can wait. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us to make up for a short period without.’