by Blythe Stone
I saved my hair for last, the third appointment I had that was supposed to finish the series on what I was trying to do.
The whole day was so slow and relaxing that I completely lost track of time and had to rush to meet the two women I’d been trying to please and impress.
By the time I finally got to them, I'd missed half the pleasantries and A LOT of people were completely drunk.
Given my nerves, I found myself envious.
The wrap party was on a rooftop bar. Security, red carpets, advertising backdrops, rope gates, the whole nine yards. The whole event was bought out and extremely exclusive. The organizers had to check my name three times and Bluetooth comm devices were involved before you even hit the awkward lonely elevator.
When the doors opened on the rooftop space I could breathe. The moon hung above us all, shining. Cool night air brushed past the man-made heat when I moved. Fires burned in large open pits, illuminating the night much more than the dim string lights which were only there to set a romantic mood.
Drinks were served and laughter was everywhere. My eyes zeroed in on Avery sitting in Natalie’s lap. They were easy to spot, so beautiful and them in a sea filled with beautiful people.
Nat’s hand on top of Avery’s thigh. Their lips and tongues stroking each other’s.
“Fuck,” I muttered. A man walked by with a tray. I reached for a shot and immediately took it.
“Whoa! Slow down there. Wouldn't wanna hurt yourself.”
I looked down to my right. The low voice. It was that director, that jerk.
On his lap was some woman barely legal, thighs small and a skirt so short it left little to the imagination.
“Yeah, I uh, doubt that’ll happen,” I said, staring at him.
“You're pretty. Do you act?”
“Not as a solid profession,” I said.
He pulled the chair out right next to him. “Sit,” he said.
“No, I really came to support-"
“Natalie,” he nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
The woman on his lap began to suck the air through her straw.
“Walk around baby,” he said, slapping her thigh.
She got up and shakily started to walk away. I wondered if she had been with him the whole shoot. Had he met her in Vancouver or brought her from home? Whose child was she? How’d she get here? Did she even like him?
“Aw come on. I won't bite,” he tried.
I looked back at my girls, noticing that they still hadn't noticed me. They did not appear to be hurt by my absence. Hands were tugging now, lips opening wider, tongues choosing to taste longer. They were probably seconds from cumming. My chest hurt and I wanted that too.
In front of me, my only option for socialization was this horrible man. I pulled the chair across from him and sat down. This way I wouldn't feel forced into some awkward closeness. We had no intimacy.
“So. What's the deal. You her lawyer?”
“No,” I said, reaching for the wine on the table and pouring some into an empty glass.
“Cousin?”
I laughed, leaning back on my chair.
“Is that what you think?”
“I don't know what to think. You have a presence.”
“A presence,” I repeated. Never heard it quite like that.
“I'm her friend,” I said. “We've been close since high school.”
“Oh wow. That’s a long time,” he beamed. “So how come I've never seen you before?”
“We fell out of touch,” I said.
“Oh, but you've been close since high school,” he teased.
I sipped my wine and looked out at the other people celebrating. I knew, more than anything, it would bother him if I ignored him right now.
“Aw, come on, I’m really very likable. What you saw was me on a bad day.”
I turned and looked at him. “What I saw was enough to discern your true character.”
“So why are you sitting here with me?”
“They look happy,” I said. “And I don't want to ruin that.”
“I gotta confess, I've never really understood those two.”
“Yes, I’m sure it's hard for you to understand a relationship that doesn't involve you,” I mocked.
“Ouch,” he laughed loudly. “You're good. You should work for me.”
I looked up at him and scrunched my eyebrows. “Are you getting bored of children,” I asked.
“Wow. You really think little of me.”
“I don't think much about you at all,” I explained. “My life does not revolve around random men who jerk my friend’s around.” That last part wasn’t exactly true. I’d been held up for two weeks because of this project of Nat’s. This man was the exact reason I hadn’t gotten to spend time with her.
“It’s funny. Most people wanna meet me when they come to things like this.”
“Yes, I can see them flocking,” I teased.
“What do you do,” he asked, flabbergasted. I threw him off, amused him. I often got this annoying reaction from older men.
“Show up at private parties to inconspicuously roast third-rate directors, apparently.”
“Ya know, you must be Olivia,” he laughed, shaking his head. It was like he figured it all out. “I should've realized the moment I saw you that day,” he beamed.
“What do you mean,” I asked, bothered.
“You're a god and we’re all unworthy,” he teased. The way he said it, it grated on me, like it was some fact that everyone knew.
“I don't know what you’re talking about,” I said, confused and done with it.
“She talks about you all the time,” he said. “Maybe not so much in front of Miss Anger.” He groaned. “My guess? She has you memorized.”
“There's not much to be proud about,” I said.
“No,” he said, staring. “She's in love with you.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You've seen them,” I shrugged, defeated. “That's love.”
“Maybe,” he said, staring over at them and thinking about it.
He got up and picked up his jacket.
“You should go flirt with her,” he smiled.
“Fuck you,” I laughed.
“Mmm. I like when you curse,” he smirked. “Crazy sexy.”
His girl came back, a new drink in her hand. They meshed together like their relationship mattered and I knew that it didn't. Two months, there was a clear timestamp on what they had.
“If you ever want to act, lemme know. I'd love to put you and her together. Hours and hours of sexual tension and bed scenes.”
The words and the thoughts flew into me wrong. Was he honestly asking me to become one of his puppets? And also, to emotionally play with my only real friend?
“Here,” he said, dropping his card down in front of me. There was a number on it in pen. I had to stop and wonder when he had decided to give me this thing. Men like him were always playing some game.
When I looked up from the card he was leaving. People were hugging him, thanking him, saying goodbye.
I swallowed hard, not knowing what to do with myself.
I sat for a few moments but then I got up the courage to stand up and go over to them.
The knowledge that the bar was on the way really helped me. I fetched a martini, walking toward them and knowing it hurt to stand near them and see the way they loved when I couldn’t.
My feet carried me there. I heard them kissing before I could say anything. Their little whimpers and breaths.
I cleared my throat. “Nice party,” I said, lying.
They’d been so tangled up in one another, it took them a second to even register me.
“Mm, baby, you’re here,” Nat said, dazed. Her eyes couldn’t even find me and I couldn’t exactly blame her, Avery was beyond sexy, all relaxed and feeling the mood. Also, her dress was sex and her legs were even sexier than I remembered. Nat’s hands encouraged Avery’s amorousity, one sneaking in between Avery’s thighs, so close it mad
e me thirsty.
I tried to hold myself together and pretend it wasn’t completely effecting me.
“Sit down,” Avery said, tearing her eyes away from Nat.
“Um…” I looked around. “Oh,” I said, sliding into the bench across from them.
“Come ‘ere,” Nat laughed, motioning for me to scoot all the way around and be closer to her. “We got a bottle to celebrate.”
It was mezcal. I loved it but it easily deceived.
I drank my martini down and left my glass so she could serve me.
“Why were you late?” Nat asked.
“I'm just dumb,” I shrugged awkwardly.
“Hmm,” Nat stared at me, still wondering.
“Doesn’t matter, you’re here now,” Avery smiled.
She leaned forward and grabbed the bottle, pouring out two different shots and handing one over to me.
“Thanks,” I smiled, locking eyes with her as I took the drink.
“You got your hair done,” Nat said. “And you're glowing. Your skin,” she said, reaching to play with a lock of my hair.
“Yeah, I… Was trying to look better for you.”
“Mmm. You always look good baby,” Nat hummed.
“She’s right, you’re fucking hot,” Avery said.
I scoffed a surprised laugh and knew I was blushing.
“I. I'm not,” I said. “But thank you.” Avery made me so nervous with the way that she stared.
The place was getting busier now that the director had gone. It was like a lot of people had been waiting for him to go. Maybe they texted each other.
“Ah, she has no idea, does she?” Avery asked.
“Not at all,” Nat laughed, staring over at her.
“You too seem happy,” I said, searching for something to say. What was the appropriate remark for a situation like this?
“We are! The hard part is over and now we have time to do whatever we want until Nat has to do press so I say it’s vacation time,” Avery beamed.
“Was it really hard?” I asked, looking over at Nat.
“Well, it was fun for the most part but you know how Avery gets. It stresses her out.”
“Villainous directors and all,” I teased, looking over at Aves.
“Hey, it only stresses me out when people mistreat you. Otherwise it’s nice to watch you work,” Avery argued.
“I talked to that guy,” I confessed. “He had some child in his lap. Are they really dating?”
“She's a p.a. intern,” Nat smiled, raising her eyebrows.
“So intern really is code for bed-buddy,” I nodded my head.
“It’s gross, he always finds one though. He has a type,” Avery explained.
“Hmm…” I didn't envy her.
“You okay?” Nat asked.
“Hm? Yeah,” I smiled nervously.
“He didn't like, hit on you or anything,” Nat asked quietly.
“Worse. He suggested I work for him.”
She shook her head and laughed.
“Well, that’s perfect,” she teased. “We all know you really need a job.”
“He wanted you to act didn’t he?” Avery asked.
“I don't know what he wanted,” I sighed. “But he knew who I was, which was interesting.”
I let that one go, not risking a glance at Natalie.
“Huh, did you tell him about her?” Avery asked.
“What do you mean? I always talk about Livia,” Nat laughed, looking over at Aves.
I swallowed, unsure of myself.
“Cause you’re still in love with her,” Avery said.
“Mm. Always,” Nat shrugged. “Who can get over a face like that.”
My cheeks burned. I wanted to touch them but I held myself back. Instead I glanced embarrassed over at Avery.
Nat was half-kidding. She must be.
“I get it. I’ve known her for a month and I feel something too,” Avery confessed.
“She's always so serious,” Nat said, talking to me about Avery.
I smiled, heartbroken. It was hard not to keep staring at them. They looked good together. The perfect couple. Noticing that over and over was breaking my heart.
“She's sweet,” I said, staring at Aves.
There had been so many nights that I wanted to approach them, interrupt them, make them see me, touch me, invite me inside of what they were.
“You should tell her about your violent urges,” Nat teased, rocking Avery in her arms and snuggling her. I watched her lick and kiss Avery’s neck fiendishly. Avery’s face reacted, her eyes rolled.
I coughed and turned my eyes elsewhere. “You guys are killing me,” I muttered, a breath of unexplained smoke in my lungs.
“Awww,” Nat cooed, rocking Avery and obviously loving the feeling of her on her lap and in good humor.
“Drink more,” Avery said, pointing at the bottle. “I did and it helped.” Her eyes shone beneath moonlight- they arrested me right quick. A sea of deep blue that beckoned me to become lost in its depths.
Avery tapped Nat on the nose and leaned up to whisper something secret inside her ear.
Nat smiled while she listened. Her eyes stared over at mine then back to Avery. I picked up the bottle and poured myself another shot, watching them nervously.
Nat whispered something back to her. I felt really stupid for being where I was.
Avery closed her eyes and leaned back in Nat’s arms. Then her eyes opened again and she reached for the bottle, forgoing the glass to take a drink straight from the top.
A puff of air escaped my lungs. I swear Avery was just getting hotter with each second she existed near me. I thought of the fluid burning down her throat.
“Damn,” she grunted.
“Maybe I should go home and hide,” I said. “You two are having more fun and I fear my presence here is entirely inconsequential.”
“Don't say that,” Nat bit. I knew when rage sprang to her gaze.
“We were just discussing how consequential you are, in a way. It makes me nervous in a strange way that isn't unpleasant,” Avery confessed.
“Well, I'm glad I’m not unpleasant,” I said, staring at her.
It was a low bar to set.
“Please drink,” Nat begged adorably. “I miss you and I can tell you're nervous for some reason.” Her bleeding heart couldn’t stand my standoffishness.
I was nervous because we would have to talk now, really talk. We'd be spending real time together. I'd probably fuck them both up.
Nat poured the booze into my old martini glass and gave the bottle back to Avery.
I sipped mezcal straight and wished I was better at being normal, as a person.
“Yes, drink more. You need to catch up,” Avery laughed.
“Careful who you challenge,” I teased.
Truth was, I was already starting to feel the alcohol. Spinning head when I moved too much and a delay in understanding easy thing.
Five minutes passed and I knew I was officially good and tipsy.
“Ahhh, shit. Now we're gonna have to carry you. You're that girl,” Nat teased.
“Just throw me in the pool when we get home. I'll float till sunrise.”
“Yea no,” Nat said. “I’ll not risk you drowning on my watch.”
“You're both too protective,” I judged.
“Um. Excuse me. I'm exactly the right amount of protective.”
“Says who? My mother?!”
“Ooo … Hard blow.” Nat mourned her cool-as-a-cucumber reputation and I burst out laughing.
“Wait, did I miss something?” Avery asked.
“According to Farrow, my mom's at my house right now,” I divulged.
“Olivia just compared me to her mother,” Nat complained. “Not everyone can be a cold goddess, Olivia.”
“Hey, I resemble that remark,” I cracked a smile.
Nat poked my side and caused me to bust out laughing again.
“Stop, it hurts,” I laughed, fighting her off.
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