In The Spotlight

by Shona Husk

  ‘That’s okay, honey. It’s only temporary.’ She smiled, but he couldn’t decide if she was saying what she thought he wanted to hear or if she meant it.

  ‘I hope so.’ He gave the swing another push. ‘I’m kind of seeing someone.’

  ‘Same rules apply as they always did.’ She held his gaze. ‘You want a sleepover, they have dinner. No skulking.’

  ‘I never skulked.’

  ‘That was more for your brother.’

  ‘Paul skulked?’ He couldn’t imagine Paul sneaking a girlfriend in.

  ‘You would’ve only been twelve and far more concerned about your dancing than dating.’

  That meant that at sixteen Paul had tried to sneak a girl in. That cheeky bastard. He’d claimed he hadn’t had a girl over until he was eighteen. Ripley grinned. ‘Did you catch him before or after?’

  ‘That is none of your business, but you can tell me about your latest. Is he here?’

  He gave the swing another push. ‘Yes.’

  She made that noise. The one where she thought she saw right through him.

  ‘I’m not staying because of him.’

  She made that noise again.

  ‘Don’t read too much into it, Mum.’

  ‘You were the one wanting him to stay over. You’ve never done that before so I thought it must be serious.’

  Ripley stared at the garden. For all that his parents were great, a little disinterest now and again would be a good thing. Like now. ‘I didn’t ask.’

  He’d been working up to it and she’d beaten him to it.

  ‘Bring him for dinner.’

  ‘It’s not that easy. Pierce …’ Ripley tried to find a suitable excuse not to bring Pierce and make him sit through dinner. No dinner, no staying over. ‘His family isn’t like ours.’

  ‘He’s in the closet?’

  Ripley rubbed his hand over his face. ‘Mum.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘He’s not as … he’s …’ His mum was waiting. ‘Fine. I’ll ask him if he wants to come for dinner.’ He felt like he was freaking eight and asking for a play date. He didn’t know how long he was going to last living here.

  ‘Good. Let me know when. Don’t be bringing a different man home every week, it will confuse your father.’

  He was about to defend himself, but knew that if she got stuck in he was going to lose. ‘I got it. Next you’ll be giving me the lecture.’

  ‘Do I need to?’

  ‘Oh hell no. Don’t go there. Please.’ He would die, on the spot. It had been bad enough the first time when he was fourteen, and the second time when he came out and his dad had tried to do the safe gay sex talk. The only thing worse than listening to your parents talk about procreative sex was listening to them talk about anal sex. There wasn’t enough time for some memories to be erased. He was cringing all over again, on the inside.

  ‘I was teasing.’

  ‘Don’t do that either.’

  ‘But you are so cute when you get embarrassed.’ She smiled at him. ‘I look forward to meeting him. I’ll bring out the video of your first recital.’

  ‘You don’t want me to bring him, do you?’

  His mum stood up. She cupped his face. ‘We worry about you. We want you to be happy and settled.’ She kissed his forehead. ‘Now, if you can’t pay board, can you do some maintenance? Paul isn’t very handy, and I’m hoping you haven’t forgotten everything your father taught you.’

  He hadn’t forgotten. All those little fix-it skills had been very useful when staying in cheap apartments. ‘Only if I can do it one-handed, and left-handed.’

  ‘Perhaps you could ask your brother for help.’

  Perhaps he’d rather die trying. But he didn’t say that.

  ***

  Monday morning, Ripley had all of his clothes shoved into a suitcase; Cait had helped because trying to do up the suitcase without wrenching his shoulder had been impossible. Now he was checking out of the hotel with the rest of the company but he wasn’t going with them. He wanted to throw up.

  Chad could barely stop grinning. It wouldn’t be the first time the understudy had gotten a break because something had happened to the soloist. It was only for the Australian leg. Ripley had done the US and Asia.

  He tried to be gracious but couldn’t find anything, so he settled for a ‘see you later’.

  Cait embraced him. ‘You know I would dance with you anytime.’

  ‘That’s ’cause I make you look good.’

  ‘They are still talking about that lift and the way you finished the show. Legendary.’

  He smiled without having to force it. ‘Good. I don’t want them to forget me while I’m stuck on the bench.’

  He saw Marco, who, while no longer covered in chickenpox blisters, was now looking a little scabby. No one was going near him to be safe. Only one other dancer had also caught it, and there had been a rumour that she was sleeping with Marco. She’d been sent home and replaced because she was in the corps.

  ‘So this is it,’ Cait said.

  ‘For the moment.’ Maybe forever. There was a chance the remainder of his contract would be cancelled since he was going to be out for most of it. He wouldn’t fight it if it was. His chest felt like it was going to cave in and he was going to crumble. ‘I’ll be back in the spotlight before you know it.’

  ‘I have no doubt about that.’ She gave him one last hug.

  Ripley said goodbye to everyone else. Seven years of his life had been spent in San Francisco. He’d had some of the best and worst times of his life there. But he wasn’t sure he was ready to leave it behind. He wanted to say he’d changed his mind. But that would mean going back to the States and he wasn’t ready to leave Perth either.

  There was a ledge and he was standing on the edge with his toes hanging over. He didn’t know what was below him or what was waiting, only that he had to move. Maybe this was the universe’s way of making the decision for him. After all, if he hadn’t injured himself he’d have put off making the switch until the end of the tour or the end of his contract … or never.

  He stood there watching them go and even though he was technically home, homesickness kicked him in the gut.

  Then he was alone in the foyer. He couldn’t stand here. He had places to be. But it took him a moment to get moving. To go out and hail a cab.

  Like every day of his life for the last sixteen years, he had to get to training. One-on-one with Anton … he knew exactly what hell was waiting for him. He smiled and stepped off the ledge, determined to find his wings.

  Chapter 17

  While Pierce knew Ripley had moved back in with his parents, he hadn’t thought through the logistics. Ripley had. It had taken several texts and then a very long phone call to get him here.

  This was not his idea of fun.

  It didn’t matter how nice Ripley’s parents were, he didn’t want to be here. However, he couldn’t exactly bring Ripley on to the base for the night. He hadn’t even told him about the upcoming barbeque. Didn’t even know where to start.

  But he was missing seeing Ripley on a daily basis, and not just for the sex. They hadn’t seen each other since the weekend and now it was Thursday. They had spoken every night, which had been nice. Pierce’s lips turned up.

  He glanced at the letterbox to make sure he had the right place, then drove straight by. His phone buzzed, he didn’t look. He had to turn around. He went around the block. Ripley’s parents weren’t like his. It would be fine.

  There was no way he was staying over even though Ripley had told him about his parents’ rules. The whole idea made his skin crawl. They would know. His brother would know.

  He almost drove by again, but forced himself to pull into the driveway.

  Then he pretended he really wanted to hear the end of the song before he got out of the car. His hands were sweaty. He was sweaty. He wiped his hands on his jeans and turned off the car.

  Ripley had invited him to meet his parents … that was something.r />
  He hoped it was something, anyway.

  He rang the doorbell. A dog barked and he could hear it scrambling toward the front door. He didn’t know how big the dog was so he braced to get jumped on.

  The door opened and a fat beagle ran around his legs. This must be Brandy. He bent down and gave the dog a scratch. ‘Hey, Brandy.’

  Her tail hit his leg as she wagged happily.

  ‘Well, you passed the dog test, that’s a relief.’ Ripley was leaning on the doorframe.

  ‘Dogs love me.’ He hoped parents did too.

  Ripley smiled. ‘Come on, Brandy. Want to go for a walk?’

  ‘I’ve got her lead already. Brandy.’ The dog turned and bolted inside to whoever was calling her.

  Pierce stood. ‘I made it.’

  ‘I can see. Let’s clear the doorway.’ Ripley stepped outside.

  A man who was almost as tall as Ripley, but far more solid, looked at him and nodded. Brandy trotted at his side. With his other hand, he helped an older man over the doorstep.

  ‘Pierce, this is my brother Paul and my father Andrew.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you.’ Pierce was hoping the ground would open, anytime now would be good.

  Andrew offered his hand, there was a distinct jerk. ‘Glad to meet you. Ripley has mentioned you.’

  Pierce shook his hand. What did he say? ‘Thank you for inviting me over.’

  Could he be more lame? Ripley’s brother and father walked down the driveway with the dog. Father and brother with that same duplication in their DNA—he’d looked it up, wanting to know more.

  Ripley watched them too. ‘I look at them and wonder if that’s going to be me eventually.’

  ‘How is your brother doing?’

  ‘He’s leaving on an extended holiday in four weeks. He wants to travel the world and do everything. As a bonus I get his car while he’s away.’ Ripley looked at Pierce. ‘I don’t blame him; he finished uni and settled down fast.’

  ‘Is that what you’d do, travel?’

  Ripley shook his head. ‘No, I have a goal. I want to dance Swan Lake.’ He glanced at Pierce. ‘As the prince. At the moment I’d be happy being any classical prince.’

  ‘You’d be happy getting back on stage.’

  Ripley was quiet for a moment. ‘Yeah. Guess I need to get there first.’

  ‘Getting better?’

  He nodded. ‘I think so. I’m not supposed to be constantly checking.’

  ‘How’s that going?’

  Ripley glanced up at the sky and didn’t answer. ‘Come in and I’ll introduce you to Mum. Dad always goes for a walk before dinner; I thought it might be best if my family didn’t rush you all at once.’

  ‘Thanks.’ One at a time. It didn’t change that they all knew why he was here.

  Ripley closed the door. ‘Did you bring anything?’

  ‘Was I supposed to?’ Maybe he should’ve bought some wine.

  ‘Like a toothbrush?’ He moved closer. ‘Tell me you are staying. There has to be some reward for getting through family dinner.’

  Pierce winced. ‘It felt all kinds of wrong.’

  Ripley groaned. Their foreheads touched. ‘I want you so bad. I have been waiting all week, looking forward to tonight.’

  Pierce bushed his lips over Ripley’s. ‘I want you too, but …’

  ‘It’s in the car, tell me your bag is in the car.’ Ripley kissed him harder, his hand brushed the fly of Pierce’s jeans.

  ‘I could do with a hand in the kitchen.’ A woman’s voice called.

  Ripley sprung back as though scalded. ‘Coming, Mum.’

  In that moment, Pierce realised this was also weird for Ripley. ‘Have you ever had a boyfriend stay over?’

  When Ripley didn’t answer, Pierce grinned. This was new for him too. A first they could do together.

  ***

  The first family dinner had gone well—Ripley had even managed to convince Pierce to stay the night. Paul had kept his mouth shut; if he’d said anything, Ripley still had one good arm and he hadn’t forgotten how to throw a nose-breaking punch.

  Pierce had been up and gone before everyone had woken for breakfast, which had been noted and commented on even though Ripley had explained Pierce had to go to work.

  This was the second dinner and tomorrow Pierce didn’t have that excuse because it was Saturday. He would have to front up for breakfast. But it seemed Pierce had been making plans without him.

  ‘Sailors can be … sweary.’ Pierce looked around the lounge room, anywhere but at Ripley. ‘You don’t have to come. These things are usually fairly alcohol-fuelled.’

  ‘You mean you don’t want me to come.’ Ripley leaned back on the sofa.

  ‘Well, then I wouldn’t have told you about it.’ Pierce clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. He sat on the edge of the armchair as if he was getting ready to jump up and run.

  Ripley had thought they were good. Now this.

  ‘Won’t they be expecting a girl?’ There was a bit too much snap to his voice.

  Pierce closed his eyes, his chin dropped. ‘I told Blue.’

  Ripley sat up. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘He told me to bring my girlfriend and I knew I had to say something, otherwise they were all going to think I made her up.’

  ‘You did.’

  ‘No, it was all you.’

  ‘Without your favourite bit.’ While Ripley knew that Pierce wasn’t ready to come out at work, he had never been comfortable being the girlfriend. That kind of stuff never worked out. ‘And?’

  ‘And Blue said to bring you. You might want to meet the other partners before we sail or something.’

  ‘You’re squirming even thinking about me showing up.’

  Pierce grimaced. ‘I want you there … I just don’t want you there.’ He scrubbed his hands over his face. ‘Can’t you suggest we stay in and watch TV?’

  ‘You’d rather be here?’ Ripley shook his head. ‘I want to go out. I’ve been laying low for weeks. And as relaxed as my parents are … you’re right, it is weird.’ Maybe it was just him, because he remembered Paul having girlfriends stay over before he moved out. Or maybe he was too used to living his own life instead of living at home.

  ‘Not even three weeks since you did your shoulder.’

  ‘It feels like longer.’ And it would be many wore weeks before the DNA test came back. It had been good to talk to someone outside of the family about it. He liked the idea that there was no pressure to get the result. So he was trying not to think about it every waking second. Only every other second. It was one of the many topics Paul and he were not talking about. Paul’s holiday and the weather were both safe.

  ‘And you’ve still been dancing.’

  ‘I’m living at home, with my parents and my brother, as though I’m sixteen again. I can’t live like this for much longer.’

  ‘Paul will be gone soon. At least you don’t have a single bed, and your parents don’t care if you have friends over.’ Pierce sighed. ‘If I stay over too often, I’ll have to pay rent.’

  Ripley used his good arm to throw a cushion at Pierce. ‘One friend. You. And for the record, you are the only boyfriend who has ever stayed over.’

  ‘Only because you haven’t been living at home for the past eight years.’

  He gave a one-shouldered shrug. ‘You are staying tonight?’

  ‘Yes, and I’m sure I’m going to regret it when I have to sit down for breakfast with your parents.’

  ‘Yeah, my parents are dead against me being with a sailor, they have bad reputations and I’m too virtuous.’ He couldn’t even finish the sentence with a straight face. ‘My parents love you.’

  They had said as much already and they’d said things they’d never said about him. Pierce was stable and sensible. Ripley knew what they meant, Pierce wasn’t always moving. He was calm. Ripley felt calmer around him, as though he’d found the right planet to orbit. He didn’t need to bounce around looking for a place to land.r />
  Pierce frowned. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I do.’ Ripley got up and sat on the arm of Pierce’s chair. ‘I went and did the STI test for you.’ Another freaking needle and another wait. Pierce really didn’t get how much that meant. ‘If you really don’t want me to come tomorrow, I won’t. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to meet your work friends.’

  Pierce leaned in and Ripley ran his fingers through his sailor’s hair. ‘I love you too.’

  Ripley smiled. ‘I’m sure the female sailors will bring their boyfriends or husbands, I won’t be the only non-navy guy there.’ He hoped that would be the case, anyway.

  ‘That is true.’

  Ripley gave a small sigh of relief. ‘Why don’t you come upstairs and help me pick what to wear?’

  Pierce pushed him away. ‘You need to check on your slow-roasted whatever and your parents are back from their not so subtle time-to-walk-the-dog walk.’

  ‘They always walk her in the evenings.’ Ripley glanced out the front window. His parents were walking up the footpath. Damn. They’d wasted all that time talking.

  ‘As soon as I arrive, same as last time.’

  ‘They are being nice and trying to give us some space.’ But Ripley could see how the gesture could be misconstrued. ‘That’s the truth. Come peel the potatoes for me so I don’t strain my shoulder.’

  Pierce stood. ‘That’s such a lame excuse.’

  ‘It worked.’ Ripley silenced anything else Pierce was going to say with a kiss. While his injured arm couldn’t do much more than draw Pierce closer, with his other hand he cupped his lover’s jaw. The front door clicked open and Brandy bolted into the house and jumped at his leg. Ripley drew back. ‘The rest will have to wait for later.’

  Chapter 18

  There were already four cars on the front lawn and driveway out the front of Blue’s house. Pierce found a place to park and turned off the engine. He glanced at Ripley. ‘Are you sure about this?’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’