WHO KILLED ME: The Strangest Whodunnit

by Irfan Khan

  Reema asks “When can we do the antim sanskar” (final rites of the funeral)?

  Madhav gets up from the couch “I guess we will hand over the body tomorrow. Okay, Reema. Thanks. Please let us know if you think of anything. Good day.”

  I felt that Madhav had done a good job of questioning. He did not push too hard but raised the right flags. Reema sat down on the couch looking exhausted. Suddenly the silence of the house seemed eerie, even to me. I decided to follow Madhav and see what he has planned next. I always loved a good whodunnit.

  . . .

  The Plot Thickens

  Same Day

  My Office

  My software company was on the second floor of an office complex. The setup was not very big, just about 10 employees during the day and another team of five which would work the nights with overseas clients. Most of the staff are software developers. We were quite close-knit and super informal. I was hardly a ‘bossy’ boss. We were all on a first-name basis and all went out for drinks some times.

  Now Madhav walked around my office cabin as I watched like an eager student. His deputy was with him and a constable at the main door. Today, I was living that phrase we often use, “I wish I was a fly on that wall.” Here I was observing from close quarters, all the process of an experienced detective unravelling my murder. It was so interesting to see how he was going to unravel the mystery. Madhav was inquisitive about the scribblings on my jotting pad. He must be looking for any phone number or name or appointment. I was embarrassed that my doodling’s were discovered. Lots of them were my failed attempts to sketch Fido Dido, the stick figure character of 7 Up campaigns.

  Madhav tried to boot up my desktop and the password request popped up on the home screen. He summoned one of my staff, Manish - and started with the probing.

  Madhav started in a neutral voice “Tell me about your boss.”

  Manish was nervous. Why should he be? He is not hiding anything? But I guess that’s the usual response when confronted by a policeman investigating a murder “He was more of a friend and always very good with us. I wish we could have told him that more often.”

  Madhav went on “That would have been nice. Now help me find his killer. What is the password for this computer”?

  Obviously, Madhav thought it was that easy. None of them had my password.

  Manish replied immediately “We don’t have the password. It is Nikhil’s personal computer.”

  Madhav smirked and suggested “I am sure you could hack through the computer. After all, you guys are computer experts.”

  Manish was ready to cry as he was about to disagree with the inspector “We are programmers, not hackers, sir.”

  I was amused for two reasons, one even if they break in, they would not find any data. I kept everything on the cloud and second the password was not an alpha-numeric one but it was a QR code which I had on my phone. But Madhav did not know all this when he ordered Manish to hack my computer.

  Madhav dragged a visitor’s chair near his chair and asked Manish “who is the assistant or secretary of Nikhil.” That was Jyoti, who was like my ‘Woman Friday’ for the office. She was not a programmer. She was a jack of all for us. She did the accounts and administration and handled my appointments. I used to bully prank her a lot and the best part was that the same tricks would work on her repeatedly. Jyoti walked in the cabin and looked like a nervous wreck.

  Madhav asked her to have a seat “Don’t be scared. Do you have anything to say, anything you found odd”?

  Jyoti rolled her eyes as she visibly scanned her mind “Nobody in Sugaoni comes to mind as we did not have any local clientele but we had a business rivalry with some competitors and disputes with clients. I could provide the names.”

  Madhav felt a ray of hope “Yes, we need that, anybody other than clients could have something against Nikhil”?

  Jyoti proudly stated “No sir. I don’t think anybody hated Nikhil Sir.”

  Madhav got up from his chair and stood at the glass partition looking at the office outside “Is all the staff in the office today”?

  Jyoti too got up and did a quick visual count “Yes sir. Except one person, Sid is not here.”

  Madhav turned around and asked “Why”?

  Jyoti replied instantly “He had some family emergency and left a few days back. He has taken a week’s leave.”

  Madhav walked back to his chair “Give me all his details, including the resume. How long has he been working with you”?

  Jyoti added from her memory “He joined a month ago as a system analyst.”

  Madhav sat down in the chair “Thank you. Give me his papers before I go. Please send the next person.”

  Jyoti was a bit shaken, besides the shock of my death, one common uncertainty amongst all of them was ‘what happens to the company and their jobs’? Like a cheap sadist, I was enjoying their dilemma. This was a payback for all the times they gave me grief. Because I was casual with them, they pranked me more than a few times. Their misery will be short-lived as I had made a detailed plan for how the company should be run in case of my absence.

  Jyoti started preparing names of clients who owed us big money and also vendors who had big outstanding. She got the file of Sid and put it into a big paper envelope. Shishir had entered the cabin and was seated in front of Madhav.

  Madhav flipped through some papers on the desk and asked “Your name is Shishir, right”?

  “Yes sir. I am a senior developer. I have been working with Nikhil for seven years.”

  Madhav showed excitement “Oh good. Jyoti is sharing some names of rival companies. Do you want to add anything to that?

  Shishir was not so nervous “Not really. Jyoti will have a better list.” Just then Shishir looked like he had an epiphany “However, there is something that I want to bring to your notice. When Nikhil went to meet Sudhir of Kaveri Softech in Bangalore, Nikhil had a little skirmish with him.

  Madhav’s eyes lit up as he found a potential lead. “What happened? I have been told that Nikhil was a good guy with no enemies.”

  Shishir continued “Sudhir is an aggressive businessman and also dangerous if someone crosses his path. He lost his client to us and tried to buy our company. Nikhil said that he will think about it. Then Sudhir’s investor Adarsh met Nikhil and offered ₹1 cr to buy small equity in our company. That’s why Sudhir beat up Nikhil.”

  Madhav was most interested in this new information “Did Nikhil file a police complaint or anything”?

  “No. He dismissed it as a momentary lapse of good judgement on the part of Sudhir. That’s what Nikhil was, soft and easy going.”

  Madhav was sure that this lead is worth chasing “Please give me the phone number and address of Sudhir.”

  Shishir suddenly realised his mistake. If Sudhir and then Adarsh comes to know about the death then things could go very bad for the company. He was on the verge of a panic attack

  “No, I don’t think it is necessary, that incident was nothing serious. It was a small argument; they had some drinks.”

  Madhav understood the situation and tried to settle Shishir’s nerves “Doesn’t matter. Every small lead is important.”

  Shishir was still tense and felt scared “Okay, I will send you the details.”

  Madhav sensed the hesitation and instead of putting pressure, he tried the softer technique. He knew that Shishir is unsure about the implication.

  “Listen Shishir, I can promise you that Sudhir will not be told about Nikhil’s death. We would only do some background check about that person.”

  Madhav reached out and patted on Shishir’s arm as a reassurance. But he was not done. He let a few moments pass and then asked “What do you think of Siddarth?

  Shishir was taken by surprise “Sid? What about him? He joined recently and was very quiet. Worked till late evenings and hardworking.” Shishir’s mind raced to think of something Sid did wrong.

  I was impressed with Madhav’s kid-gloves approach. I would love to
see Sudhir grilled. But why was Madhav so interested in Sid? He looked like an okay guy and knew his job well. What could be the reason?

  Madhav moved on to the next person in my staff. I was taken aback with the revelation that was to follow.

  Madhav’s eyes followed Poonam as she entered and sat down opposite him. Poonam always dressed well and looked charming. Madhav was trying to gauge the character “So, tell me what do you do here Poonam”?

  Poonam was the front-end designer for our websites and apps. I was expecting the same mundane answers from her. She knew the least about our clients and business. But she had some interesting observations.

  Poonam replied confidently bereft of any nervousness “I am the front-end designer for websites and apps.”

  Madhav made a note of the fearlessness “Oh, creative? Tell me something about Nikhil.”

  Poonam continued “He is the best boss anyone can have, sorry could have.” Poonam paused and looked pensive “But for the last few months, he has been looking a bit worried and would be away from the office.”

  Madhav’s experience told him that something is going to come out but he played cool “But that is normal. Every businessman is always tense.”

  Poonam was too impatient and interjected “This was not the usual ‘being worried’ and ‘staying away’ from office. I noticed that many times he did not take his car.”

  Madhav got interested and probed deeper. “What do you think was happening”?

  Without batting an eyelid, she leaned towards Madhav and added in a whisper,

  “I think he was having an affair.”

  This threw me off completely. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or slap her. This was ridiculous. Then it dawned upon me, she has always been a bit inquisitive about my whereabouts and wellbeing. Whenever we had an office party in a pub, she would sit nearest to me. Now I could see clearly, she had a crush on me. In her mind the explanation for my lack of interest, was that ‘he is already having an affair’. There is very little I could do now, except find ways to haunt her, as punishment.

  Madhav thought this was a big revelation, this could be a crime of passion “Any idea who the girl was”?

  Poonam switched to being super virtuous, after creating the damage “I don’t like to poke my nose in other people’s lives. How would I know”?

  Madhav was irritated “Then how can you be so sure that he was having an affair”? Madhav was disappointed with the gossipy girl.

  Poonam had to salvage her claim “I think his father-in-law came to know about it. One day before Nikhil was shot, the father-in-law came to office and fought with Nikhil. They were shouting at each other before the father-in-law left after threatening to teach him a lesson. Which father will tolerate his son-in-law having an affair and the daughter suffering”?

  I could see Madhav’s mind running the marathon. He glanced at his assistant who made a note in his diary. My character was just destroyed on a whim of suspicion and for the next few days, I would be looking like the stud Casanova who deserved to die.

  Madhav thanked her and said she could leave. Poonam gave a parting gift which was a left-handed compliment but had multiple tones, in the present situation. She smiled sadly and said, “but Nikhil and Reema were such a good couple.”

  - - -

  Destined to Meet

  11 and half years ago

  Poonam’s statement took me back twelve years into the past to the time when Reema came back into my life.

  One early evening I was taking an overseas client for a little sightseeing from the hills to around the lake. I was driving past a scenic road around the rim of the lake. There were benches on the banks for people to sit and watch the sunset. As I was explaining this, I spotted a familiar figure. I slammed the brakes and excused myself and hurried to the bench.

  I was right, it was Reema. Cuddled up in her shawl and a beanie on her head. Looking far away, so lost that she did not care that I stood there, staring at her. I whispered softly so as to not startle her. She turned to look at me and a faint smile broke on her face. That smile was not one of glee or happiness. It was more of a courtesy thing that you do to acknowledge someone. I realised that I was interrupting whatever state she was in. I asked if her number is the same and can I call her later in the day. She nodded absentmindedly and asked me how I was. I said all good and promised to call her as I dashed back to my waiting guest.

  As promised, I called her later that evening. I wasn’t sure how to talk with her since she looked so forlorn and sad.

  “Hey, good to see you. Welcome to Sugaoni. What brings you here”?

  “Oh! So, this is Sugaoni.” There was no excitement or even surprise in her voice. She just stated as a matter of fact.

  I was zapped “What? You don’t know where you are”?

  Reema replied in a flat voice “I just started travelling in a random direction and this was the place where I felt farthest from everything.”

  I didn’t know if I could express my excitement or emulate her tone “Happy mistake. Can I ask, why were you being so adventurous”?

  “When life gives you a surprise, you should surprise life.” Reema was turning into Rumi.

  I applauded silently “That is deep. Something that we must ponder over a cup of coffee. Along with absolutely wonderful scones at the best bake shop in town.” I felt like a college student desperate to strike a friendship.

  Reema was not a bit impressed with my bold move “Thank you so much but I will pass, maybe some other time. Bye!”

  I respected her privacy and told her she could call me if she needed anything.

  . . .

  Bonding

  The thing about a small town is that you can’t avoid meeting or running into people. A few days after speaking with Reema I ran into her at a bookshop. Now in hindsight I will believe that it was meant to be. This small bookshop was run by Brinda, my friend Khushvinder’s sister. I would often drop in there to check on her and inquire about Khushvinder’s wellbeing in US. Reema looked much calmer and was browsing like a zombie.

  “Hey, (I waited for her to react. She turned around lazily) here we meet again. Good to see that Sugaoni has not let you go.”

  She mumbled “It's a matter of time, she will reject me too.” Reema’s reply was a hint into her mood. I decided to ignore the tragic and lighten the scene.

  “Is there any specific book you are looking for?

  She replied without looking at me “I am looking for ‘New Love’… by Susan Piver. I can’t find it here.”

  “I know the owner of the store, let me ask her. (I spotted Brinda and called out to her, she came immediately) Brinda, my friend Reema and Reema this is my friend’s sister Brinda. Listen Brinda, she is looking for ‘New Love’… by… Susan Piver. Do we, have it?

  Brinda smiled at Reema, “Hi Reema, I have that book but it’s in the storeroom at my house. I can get it tomorrow. (Brinda turned towards me) But if it is urgent then you can go home and pick it up. Mom would be at home. She would be happy to see you. She needs to feed someone.

  We laughed aloud. Memories of all the hearty meals forced fed to all of us. I didn’t look at Reema for her consent and took off holding her hand.

  At Brinda’s house I did not take Reema inside. Her mom would ask too many questions. I was in and out in a jiffy using the excuse of a waiting taxi.

  Reema seemed pleased once she got the book. I started thinking of reasons how I could stall her and spend more time with her. Her state of mind was unusual and it bothered me. I knew she should have company.

  “There is something really interesting here. A unique farm experience that is simply awesome. This Apple orchard serves a 5-course rustic lunch in the middle of the orchard and below an apple tree. Let’s go there for lunch. Should we”?

  Reema was engrossed browsing the book and simply nodded so I speeded up the mountains. Being a weekday, the place was not crowded. They have luxurious ‘khatiyas’ (coir rope diwans) with large soft cotton bolste
rs. One can simply lie down after the meal. Reema seemed pleased with the place and settled down, once again pouring in the book. I took the book away from her and read the synopsis,

  “Broken hearts, resentment, affairs, divorce. Why is it so hard to make relationships work? New York Times bestselling author and mindfulness expert Susan Piver applies classic Buddhist wisdom to modern romance, including her long-term relationship, to show that ancient philosophies have timeless—and unexpected—wisdom on how to love.”

  I looked up at Reema and found her staring at me. I was trying to ask her about the book but she spoke before me,

  “He has broken up with me.”

  This came like a bolt of lightning. She looked like she was in great pain. I felt bad for her. I wondered ‘what kind of an idiot that guy must be’. I kept the book away and felt that anything I say will aggravate her mood. The dilemma was, if I don’t say anything then it may seem rude. This was a unique conundrum. I messaged my office that I was going to take the day off.

  The starters and soup arrived and saved the awkwardness. The steward started explaining the dishes and its preparation. It was something like ‘Jacket Potatoes’ except made with baby potatoes and hung curd dressing with green chilies chutney drizzled on top. I saw that Reema seemed genuinely interested in the recipe and was asking for more details. I was relieved. She sipped on the soup and looked genuinely impressed. It was lentil soup with blanched cherry tomatoes bobbing in the bowl. The trick was the aroma of kafir limes zest with fresh coriander and mint sprinkle.

  Reema was now enjoying my company and participated in the conversation, which I was desperately concocting. You know how, sometimes you fear that if there is a pause in the conversation then the person may say “okay, I think we must go.” I was trying to avoid that intruder of a moment.