It Goes On

by Ashley Claudy

  Wanting to celebrate her happiness and put our grief behind us, I hugged her. After a moment, she squeezed her arms around me and returned the hug. I hoped she’d remember this when she saw the pictures of Ethan and me on the red carpet last night.

  Ethan and I had spent the most of the week alone together, talking with an ease that convinced me we were meant to be. Last night at a charity event, I told him to stay by my side as we entered. Wrapped up in the emotions of our relationship, I wanted to announce it to the world, Tom Cruise, jump on the couch style. But I settled for public photographs of us together. I wasn’t sure the photos would make it into any media outlets, but Chelsea assured me that his family’s scandal mixed with my recent name change was enough to guarantee coverage.

  Today, I braced myself for the backlash. I inhaled my mother’s pretty floral perfume one last time and stepped out of her embrace.

  “Have a good flight. Call me when you land.” I waved as I backed out of the room, headed for work.

  The phone call came several hours later.

  I was busy assisting guests at the sports complex so I sent my father’s number to voicemail. A text quickly followed.

  Be at my house at seven

  Sonja met me at the door and pumped my hand in assurance. “I’m not sure what this is all about, but I don’t think it’s about the pictures, which look awesome, by the way,” she added with a grin before her face slipped back into concern. “He’s invited his girlfriend to dinner, Natasha.” She nodded in the direction of the dining room. “They’re waiting for us.”

  The moment I entered the dining room, I felt it in the air, a nervous excitement, an undercurrent of tension from unspoken words.

  I ate very little through dinner and spoke even less. Connor commented on the food and his weekend plans; he asked the table to share our plans, and I let Chelsea speak for me.

  “Everyone’s going to Liam’s Birthday on Saturday. It’s on a mega yacht.”

  Our father turned to me. “Will you be going with your sisters or Ethan?”

  “We'll all go together,” I said, surprised how calm my voice was when my body was vibrating with nerves.

  He nodded and sighed, “Ethan has an internship with one of my architects. He’s pulling his weight so far, but let him know dating you will not result in special treatment.”

  “Dad,” Sonja admonished on my behalf.

  I shook my head. “Ethan doesn’t need any special treatment; he loves his work.”

  His eyes flicked to Natasha as she slid her hand over his. “Fine. I hope you all have fun this weekend. Tell Liam I said Happy Birthday.”

  I was beginning to think Sonja and I had worked the situation up in our heads, and we were indeed just having a family dinner. I had been nervous about Ethan and that had gone over fairly well.

  But when Chelsea tried to excuse herself, Connor announced, “Wait, we'll have dessert tonight. We have something to celebrate.”

  Now we would get to the main reason for the dinner.

  Natasha’s excited smile made the news easy to guess. But my heart still stopped when she raised her left hand above the table, revealing a large diamond ring.

  I saw the shock I felt reflected in Sonja’s face, but Chelsea remained impassive. She was either very skilled or truly didn’t care.

  “We’re going to make the announcement tomorrow. We wanted to let you three know first,” Connor explained.

  “Congratulations,” Chelsea said. “When’s the wedding?”

  “Next summer. June probably,” Natasha answered. “I haven’t planned it yet. I was very much hoping you three would help me.”

  My stomach turned. She seemed nice, and it made me sick knowing that he’d been sleeping with my mother—probably still was—and Natasha didn’t know. Or did she? Either way, it felt like a wrong way to start a marriage.

  “How long have you two been dating?” Sonja questioned with a tight voice.

  Connors eyes narrowed slightly. “five months.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Sonja snorted and pushed away from the table. “Congratulations, I guess. Sorry, I can’t stay and celebrate tonight, but I have plans. Another time.” She walked out of the room without waiting for a response.

  Chelsea gave a polite smile. “She’s already running late; she’s supposed to go to a concert with a friend. I have a little bit of time; I’d love to hear your ideas for the wedding.”

  And with that, Chelsea eased the tension in the room and Natasha excitedly shared her ideas.

  I couldn’t focus on any of it. I kept thinking of how my mother would react to the news. Especially if she found out in such an impersonal way as reading about it. It hit me like a brick in the face, I had done the same thing. I had hoped she would read about my relationship instead of me telling her about it. But maybe I could still reach her before she read anything.

  I excused myself and went to call my mother.

  “Hello,” my mother’s voice was breathless and excited. “Kate you will never guess what I did today? Guess? Oh, you’ll never guess. I’ll tell you. I helped decorate a home on a budget.” She giggled. “Who would have thought our years of living poor were preparing me for this job. It was for some charity Eileen’s part of, but she let me have complete design control.”

  “That’s great,” I answered. She sounded so happy; I contemplated not telling her anything. I didn’t want to be the one to make her voice drop.

  “What is it dear, you sound about as happy as a cow taken to slaughter.”

  I laughed. “Well, it’s not that bad.”

  “See, it’s not that bad. What’s up?”

  I paused and then spit it out, “Ethan and I are dating, and Connor and Natasha are engaged.”

  Nothing.

  She let out a puff of air. “How am I supposed to respond to that Kate?”

  “I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to read about it. I wanted to give you a warning. Their engagement will be in the papers tomorrow.”

  “He told me things would be changing soon.” She sighed. “And I stupidly thought something different.”

  “I’m sorry Mom. But that’s not the type of relationship you need anyways.”

  She let out a short bark of a laugh. “Yeah, sure.” Her voice was cold and bitter. “Kate, don’t date anyone. Go to school and get a good job; maybe with your father’s company. Then when you date, it can be for your own pleasure, not because you need someone.”

  Ethan took a deep breath as he looked over my quote board, his shoulders rising and falling with it.

  “Inhale, exhale?” I guessed at the quote he was reading.

  “Yeah, why do you have that?” he asked, turning towards me.

  I set down the remote, giving up on finding something interesting to watch. “I forget sometimes to just breathe.” His curious look told me he didn’t understand. I shrugged and added, “It helps to take a deep breath.”

  He walked over to my bed and sat down, stretching his legs out beside me and leaning his back on the headboard. “You have my quote up there.”

  I quirked my eyebrow. “Your quote? I had that posted before I ever met you.”

  His smooth smile spread across his face as he laced his fingers behind his head. “That’s just another sign that we were meant to be.”

  I think it was happiness that filled my chest, leaving very little room for air in my lungs.

  I looked towards him, his attention seemingly on the television, but his smirk told me he knew his words had an effect. His right arm was stretched behind his head, showing the dark ink on the lean muscle of his forearm.

  “What does that mean for you?” I ran my fingertips along his tattoo, tracing the spikes of the heartbeat and pausing when it flat lined. My eyes followed the path. The words ‘it goes on’ were written in thin spiky letters, mimicking the appearance of heartbeat lines.

  He moved his arms from behind his head and sat up some as he turned to face me. He stretched out his arm ov
er my lap and ran his fingers over the tattoo. “When my parents were in their car accident, my father died instantly, but my mother was rushed to the hospital. The police called me, and I tried to get there as soon as I could, but I’d been out with friends, it took a while. I remember all the machines hooked up to her, beeping and pumping oxygen into her. Keeping her alive. The moment I held her hand…” He spread his hand over the top of mine and wrapped his long fingers around my palm, enclosing my hand in his. “Her heart stopped. I thought my world stopped.”

  We sat in silence for a moment, hand in hand. Then his eyes met mine. “But it didn’t stop. It took me a while to realize it, but life didn’t stop that day. Not for my parents, they’re in heaven. And not for me. Life keeps going, and I have to keep going if I want to accomplish anything. No matter how I feel; I have to move with it.”

  He cast his eyes back down to my hand as he traced over my palm. “I made mistakes that day. My mother had been upset and wanted me to stay with her. But I went with friends instead, people I don’t even talk to anymore, people who weren’t there for me after.” He shook his head and met my eyes.

  “No,” I said as I scooted closer to him, gripping his arms. “That’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. If you hadn’t gone out, you might have been in that car too.”

  The corner of his mouth turned up in a sad smile as he ran his hand down the length of my hair. “Maybe, but life goes on, and all I can do is learn from those mistakes. I know what it feels like when no one’s there for you. I wouldn’t do that to you; I’ll always be there if you need me.”

  I nodded with unfathomable trust in that moment. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him.

  His arms wrapped around me as he deepened the kiss and pulled me in closer. Our body’s adjusted to meet each other perfectly. Instinctively they knew how we should fit together.

  Ethan leaned back, and I moved with him, rolling on top of him.

  “I’m trying to be good,” he panted.

  “Don’t be.” The coarse hairs of his beard rubbed against my cheek as I tried to catch my breath. I felt like crying. I wanted this with a fervor I’d never known, but I wouldn’t beg again.

  His hands squeezed my hips, and his cool green eyes deepened with desire when I pulled back to look at him. “Are you sure you’re ready? Every piece of you?”

  “I want this, but there are some parts of me even I don’t touch yet. I’m giving you all I have to give.” I immediately regretted being so honest, but he deserved honesty. And something about him pulled it from me.

  His hands moved up my waist and back down, over the fabric of my dress, and his eyes traveled the length of me for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a second. The length of his hardness pressed against my leg, and it took all my strength not to move against him shamelessly.

  The corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked, panty-dropping smile. “Tupac said fuck those pieces, right?”

  He suddenly flipped me on my back and grinded his hips into me. Then his lips smashed into mine and his hands traveled up my thighs, under my dress. He lifted the material up to my stomach while trailing his fingers along my skin. Breaking our kiss, he sat up and lifted my dress off over my head, and then he pulled his shirt over his.

  He braced his arms on either side of me, nipping at my neck, causing little electric shocks of pleasure that radiated to my center, building a need for him to be inside me.

  I rubbed my hands over every inch of his upper body, enjoying the feel of his solid, smooth muscles. My hands circled the waist of his pants, and I fumbled with the zipper and buttons.

  Ethan used one hand to undo them and kicked his pants and boxers off without stopping the slow onslaught of lust inducing kisses and licks that were now at my collarbone.

  My hands rubbed over the strong curve of his ass, and a million goosebumps broke out on his skin. My hands continued their exploration around his body until I had his shaft in my hand. Stroking the smooth, hard length of him, I twisted my hand to the tip, collecting drops of pre-come with my fingertips.

  “Do you have a condom?” I hated interrupting the moment and feared he wasn’t prepared.

  “I’ve got it, beauty, but we don’t need it just yet.” He unhooked my bra and tossed it to the side.

  All thoughts stopped when he took my nipple into his mouth and sucked. Hard. His hands traveled down the length of my stomach as he took my other nipple into his mouth. Then his hands were in my panties, and one long finger slid smoothly inside of me. I gasped at the sensation he created, the building pleasure beginning to spill over and release as his fingers quickened their motion, pumping in and out, and swirling around. My head rolled back, and I closed my eyes as I tried to contain the pressure that was on verge of exploding. Then his warm breath heated the lips of my sex and his tongue dipped into my opening. He licked up the length of my folds to my most sensitive bud throbbing with mounting pleasure. I couldn’t hold on anymore and my body shook with my release, a burst of white-hot pleasure shooting through every muscle and dancing behind my closed eyes.

  Ethan pinned my thighs open with his hands, unrelenting as he sucked my sensitive bud and his fingers moved in and out of me. The tight ball of need was quickly building again.

  “Ethan. Please,” I breathed in between gasps and whimpered with wanting.

  “What do you want, beauty? Say it.” Ethan sat up to look at me, but his fingers continued their rhythmic torture.

  “I. Want. You. In me,” I panted, afraid I may burst without him.

  He sprung off the bed and retrieved a condom from his pants pocket. He rolled it on and then was over me, rubbing the tip of his penis around my sex. Then he slid into me, smoothly, slowly. I stretched around the width of him as he filled me, and then he pushed in deeper, and I moaned with the intense pleasure he created, tightening around him.

  He trailed kisses up my neck and then met my lips. Our breaths were ragged. Gasping into each other’s mouth as his thrusts became faster. harder.

  I moved my hips to meet each swing of his hip and raked my fingers down his back. Each movement stretched me and pulled me tighter as the pleasure built inside me, near erupting.

  His speed increased and his hands gripped my hips, moving them for me to keep up with his rhythm. We both cried out as he came, and I shattered beneath him.

  Time stood still as I shook, body spasming. I don't know if it was seconds or minutes that passed before I floated back into my body. But my mind was blissfully shut off, passed out, content.

  We cleaned up and then fell asleep wrapped in each other’s naked embrace.

  “Good morning beauty,” Ethan whispered in between kissing my neck and shoulder.

  I turned to face him and snuggled close to his warm chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. His intoxicating scent was all around me. “Hmm, it is a good morning.”

  “I have to get ready for work in a bit. I wish I could stay with you all day. Just. Like. This.” His kisses traveled up my neck as he spoke.

  A thought kept tugging at me, distracting me from fully enjoying the moment. I had to tell Ethan about Liam; I should have told him before we slept together. That had been a selfish move on my part. I had to come clean if I wanted our relationship to be an honest one.

  “Last night was amazing,” I started.

  Ethan pulled back to look at me with a brilliant smile that transformed his beautiful face and broke my heart all over again. “It was pretty amazing. I’ve been told that before, but this was the first time I felt it like that. You rocked my world.”

  I giggled, uncertain. “Really? I didn’t do much, but it’s easy to see why you’ve been given that complement before.”

  His eyes darkened, and his smile slipped into a seductive curl as he lifted himself over me, forcing me to my back. “Oh, you did something. Those sounds you made; the way you moved.” He pushed his hips forward, grinding his hardness over me, sending a thrill through me. “The way you felt.” He di
pped his head down and sucked my earlobe into his mouth as he whispered, “you were perfect.”

  I laid there, breathless, as he rolled off me. I wanted to pull him back, beg him for a repeat of last night. His next words stopped me, returning me to my body.

  “I’ll have to fill your night stand with condoms, so we can always be prepared. I wish I had the time to take you up to my room.” He rose from the bed and put on his pants. Staring at me with hooded eyes, he added, “Beauty, please get dressed. I’ll never be able to leave with you lying in bed wrapped only in sheets like an attractive little present just for me.”

  I attempted a pretty pout as I walked naked to my dresser. I slipped on his shirt he gave me the night of the concert. “Better?”

  He slowly shook his head, walking towards me. “Not much. But I’ll just have to wait till this afternoon when I get off.” He smiled smoothly. “Work, I mean. Although we’ll both be getting off too.”

  I let my head fall back with laughter and shoved him lightly. “Oh my, you are so cheesy sometimes.”

  “It’s a talent.” He grabbed my hips as he kissed me goodbye. “I’ll see you later.”

  Later, I’d have to tell him about sleeping with Liam. It was a dark cloud over my sunny day. I was hoping I was simply over thinking the problem, but a part of me feared Ethan would never have wanted me if he knew I slept with his best friend. That he would consider my omission a betrayal.

  I had the rest of the day to work myself up to telling him. Because I didn’t want to be like either of my parents, I had to be honest.

  ~Carly~

  “Is something wrong Carly? You seem distracted,” Eileen asked with a lifted eyebrow.

  Carly shook her head, unable to respond as the picture of Connor and Natasha burned in her mind. She couldn’t erase the image of them smiling with their arms around each other out front of that restaurant. The one Connor used to take Carly to. His favorite place.

  “Does it have anything to do with Mr. Baycroft’s engagement?” She smiled knowingly at Carly’s surprised expression. “I’d assumed there was something between you two. It’s not typical that he would ‘recommend’ someone for me to hire, but I’m glad he did because I’ve enjoyed working with you.”