It Goes On

by Ashley Claudy

  The room filled with people as partygoers poured into the doors to view their performance.

  As the end of the song played, Liam took the microphone. “Thanks everyone for showing up—” He dropped his head with a large smile, his shoulders shaking in laughter as the band started playing an old school jam.

  Brody and Ethan took up a spot on either side of him, tapping him as they tried to contain their laughter and get in position. They clasped their hands in front of them, looking like a bona fide boy band.

  The crowd erupted in cheers as all three boys started dancing completely in sync, sliding across the stage nineties style while Liam sang into the mic.

  My stomach hurt from laughing at their choreographed dance moves.

  Sonja giddily explained to Lexi and me, “This was their eighth-grade talent show routine.”

  When Ethan stepped up to sing his part, his eyes met mine and he winked, kissing the tips of his fingers before raising them to the sky. A move I now knew was for me.

  Shane leaned over to me with his phone pointed to the stage. “This is going on YouTube,” he said as he recorded their performance.

  When they finished, Ethan hopped off the stage and slid the short distance to me. He pulled me into his arms and leaned my back as he kissed me.

  “That. Was. Amazing.” I laughed into his mouth.

  “The kiss or the performance?” he asked, his arms still around me.

  “Both.”

  “Hey Romeo, have a drink with us,” Sydney called, handing him a glass.

  Liam put his arm around Taylor. “So are you my friend tonight?”

  She patted his stomach. “I guess I can be nice since it’s your birthday, and I planned this party.”

  Liam held up his glass. “To a fucking epic night, year, and friends.”

  We all cheered and drank. The energy in the room was impossible to ignore, it seeped into every pore and built with the darkness. It was frenetic by midnight and near chaos later.

  Ethan was with me most of the night, placing kisses on me randomly. But he’d get pulled into the crowd at various times, mingling. It was hard to imagine he was once not welcomed by others, he seemed to have a mass amount of friends, and when I was not by his side, girls vied for his attention. I tried to push away the jealousy I felt every time he embraced one and kissed their head in greeting.

  News of Sonja’s single status had spread, and she spent most of the night surrounded by guys. When we danced, she was able to revolve from one partner to the next with ease, never spending more than a couple of minutes with any one guy.

  “I have to leave. I’ve got an early morning call,” Lexi yelled into my ear.

  I walked with her from the dance floor to our table. “Our car can drive you home. I’ll text the driver now and walk you out.”

  “Liam is a dick.”

  I looked up from my phone, surprised to hear those words from Sonja.

  “He just—He kicked a guy out for not looking at me with respect. Who does that?” She looked between Lexi and me, wobbling a little on her feet. “Are you leaving? You can’t leave.”

  “I’m leaving; Kate’s just walking out with me,” Lexi explained.

  Sonja nodded, distracted. “He’s an asshole. He’s destined to be just like our father. An ass.”

  Liam appeared behind Sonja, cupping her shoulders with his hands. “Come on, you can’t be mad at me; it’s my birthday. I can kick out whoever I want.” He moved her to the side to look at her and raised his eyebrow with a laugh. “You trying to get laid tonight, was I being a cock block?”

  Sonja’s eyebrows nearly popped off her face as she stepped away from him. She stretched out an arm, gesturing at Liam as she addressed Lexi and me, “See what I mean? Epic, right?” She looked to Liam, “Epic. That’s how you wanted tonight? Well, Congrats. You, my friend, are an epic douche.” She walked away from the table.

  Liam put his hands in his pockets and stretched his neck to the side as he watched her push her way out of the doors of the cabin. “She’ll get over it,” He murmured and then dissolved into the crowd.

  “I guess we can go now.” I shook my head, unsure at what I’d just witnessed.

  Shane intercepted us leaving the ship and walked out to the waiting car with Lexi and me.

  “Watch this video,” he said, handing me his phone as we returned to the party. “I’m thinking of putting all these treasures together and posting a recap of the night.”

  I stared at the screen as the video started. That boy Shane didn’t like, Henry, was standing with a girl that was leaning over the edge of the boat, probably getting sick, but it was hard to tell. She stood up and Henry put his hand on her shoulder just as she threw up on his shoes. Henry immediately retched over the edge of the boat.

  “Awesome, right? It’s not a party till someone gets thrown up on.” Shane laughed as we walked around the first deck of the boat. This floor wasn’t as crowded as the main one, but groups spotted the chairs and tables.

  “It’s definitely a memorable night.”

  “And it’s not over yet doll. I love nights like this; I live for this shit.”

  As we turned the corner, about to walk the length of the boat, Sydney ran into us.

  “Kate, I was wondering where you went,” She said with a strange nervous energy, her eyes shifting around the boat. “You, uh, may not want to go this way.”

  A current of warning went through my veins. “What’s going on?”

  She looked directly as me and the corner of her mouth turned up in a sneer. “You sure you’re ready to open your eyes and face the truth?”

  Ice dripped down my spine.

  “I think you’re drunk bombshell. Let’s go find a place for you to rest.” Shane attempted to lead her away.

  She pulled herself from his arm with a jerk. “No. Just see for yourself.” She nodded down the length of the deck. “Ethan’s been playing you. And now him and Liam have found a new challenge: Sonja.”

  Ethan sat next to Sonja on a bench, and their thighs touched but nothing else. He leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees, listening to what Sonja was saying. She threw her hands up in anger as she animatedly told her story.

  I shook my head, dismissively, and turned to leave. There was nothing going on. They were just talking.

  Sydney grabbed my arm. “You don’t believe me? You don’t know Ethan like you think you do. You’ve only been here for, like, a minute. They do this all the time. It’s a game to them. If one screws a girl, then the other has to see if he can too. It’s a competition, and you were part of it.”

  I looked to Shane, and he shrugged his shoulders, but his reluctant gaze verified what Sydney said. My heart dropped, erratically beating as it fell to my stomach.

  Liam walked around the corner then, wearing agitation like an ill-fitting coat. “Any of you seen Sonja?”

  Sydney’s eyes flared as she squeezed my forearm. “See what I mean.” She turned to Liam, “She’s over there with Ethan; I guess the game is on. What’s the score anyways? Who’s winning?”

  Liam’s distant gaze looked down the deck to where Ethan and Sonja were still sitting. Then he attempted to focus on us, looking around the group. “What the hell are you doing Sydney?”

  “She should know you and Ethan keep score, so who’s winning?”

  He stared down the deck, transfixed as Ethan slipped his arm over Sonja’s shoulder, hugging her to him. Then his gaze flicked back to me, unreadable and cold. “I was up by four, but now he’s fucked you too so you’ve rounded out his points at twenty.”

  I couldn’t breathe or think.

  Shane put his arm around me. “Come with me, doll. You need a drink.”

  I flung my arm up to stop him and stepped towards Liam. “No. I don’t want a drink. Keep going, how does this work? I want to know.”

  “It’s done.” Liam looked me up and down with contempt. “The games to see if one can get a girl the other can’t. Not to pass them back and
forth. Although plenty of girls would have wanted that, we don’t do desperate.”

  My mind replayed the last couple of days like a nightmare. That’s why he hadn’t cared that I was moving. The acid in my stomach boiled and seared as I recalled him telling me he already knew about Liam and me, and it didn’t matter.

  “You don’t have to be a dick, Liam. Come on Kate, you don’t need to listen to any more of this bullshit.” Shane pulled on my arm, and I followed, distracted by my own thoughts.

  Sydney followed and Shane rounded on her. “Go somewhere else Syd. You’ve done enough.”

  “I didn’t do anything but tell her something she should know.”

  “Fucking right, you did it to be a good friend? You did it because you’re pissed Ethan wouldn’t touch you.”

  She jerked as if he slapped her. “Screw you. The only reason he’s not with me is I don’t earn him points. He’s too wrapped up in the game. I’m just telling the truth.”

  “That’s enough. I need a moment.” I looked between the two of them and added, “Alone.” I turned to walk up the stairs to the roof deck.

  I took the first step, and a hand grabbed my arm, turning me back.

  “Kate?”

  I met Ethan’s eyes and couldn’t trust the look of concern in them. I didn’t trust anything, not my own thoughts or actions. Especially not in my alcohol haze.

  Shane spoke up. “She just needs a moment alone. Can you get her a drink?”

  I looked to Shane with immeasurable gratitude, but distrust still colored everybody’s actions, and I was skeptical of his intentions.

  Ethan looked around, from Shane to Sydney and then to Liam who still stood a couple feet away. He swung his wary gaze to me, searching my face. “You want a drink?” he narrowed his eyes as I nodded. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  I continued my path to the top deck, hoping for a moment of solitude to make sense of all the new information. My thoughts fired in my mind, each one hitting its mark, shredding my already frayed heart.

  The open roof deck was scattered with people. I found an empty chair in the corner and sat facing the water. The moon’s silver reflection vibrated with the movement from the small choppy waves.

  I breathed in the salty, cool air and choked on a sob of emotions. Covering my mouth with a shaky hand, I attempted to contain my distress, and I welcomed the heat of anger that began building in me, wrapping and choking out all other emotions. The tears that had threatened to fall dried up as the fire reached them.

  I stood up and braced my hands on the railing, trying to pick an idea from my head. So many thoughts swirled in my brain, I had to decide on a next step. My mother was right; this place was toxic.

  With my resolve hardened, I turned to walk back to the party, but instead, I met Ethan’s penetrating gaze.

  “I got you a drink.” He tried to hand me the glass in his hand, but I walked around him, ignoring the gesture.

  “What’s going on?” His patience snapped and he took a step, blocking my path.

  I couldn’t look at him. I looked to the side and clenched my teeth, refusing to talk. When he didn’t move, I tried to pass him again.

  His hand shot to my shoulder, stilling me, and I stood rigid under his touch, my wild heart hammering against my chest.

  “Is this because I was talking to Sonja? You need to curb your jealousy. You're overreacting. Trust me.”

  “I don’t trust you. I don’t understand why you’re up here anyways. You already got your points.” He stood quiet, so I continued to put a voice to my thoughts as they formed and took shape. “Is it because I’m moving? You think you’ll just keep me around until then, a sure thing.”

  “You’re moving?” His voice was thin, and he set the drink down on a nearby table.

  “Then you can go rack up points with all the girls here,” I finished.

  “What are you talking about?” he asked in a way that made it obvious he knew exactly what I was talking about.

  His attempt to play dumb fueled my anger and choked me. I shouldered past him.

  “Wait, let me explain.”

  “Don’t.” I whirled around. “You’re the worst type of person. I trusted you. Why? So, you could one up your friend? You disgust me.” The truth of the past month was becoming clear. With each breath, certainty grew. He wasn’t satisfied with just sleeping with me as Liam had. He needed more, and he got me to give him everything I had.

  “It’s not like that and you know it. Look at me; you know I care about you. It’s everyone else that has you confused. Look at me,” he demanded, trying to grab me, but I pulled away. “If this was about getting points, don’t you think I would have taken you the night of the concert or sooner?”

  I froze at his question, and he reached for me again, pulling me to him. “You know we mean more than that. You mean more than that.” He tightened his arms around me, urgently moving his hands up and down my back. “Beauty, I love you.”

  I ripped away in disbelief. “Shut up. You don’t stop, do you? What is it you want, huh? What else can you possibly take from me?” His hands dropped to his sides, and I continued with mounting fury, “I was so stupid; I should have known. You kept calling me that stupid name, beauty, and kissing my head, just like you do to every other girl. But I still thought I was special. You should quit school and go be an actor.” I clapped my hands obnoxiously. “Bravo, you fooled me.”

  He shook his head. “Nothing I’ve done with you has been like other girls. It may look the same, but it’s not. It all feels different. If you don’t want me to do those things, fine, I won’t call you beauty again, and I’ll only kiss your hair, no one else’s. Just—let’s sit and talk.”

  I looked out at the ocean, praying for my anger to return to give me strength. I was drained and weak. “There’s nothing to talk about. What’s the point anyways? I’ll move, and we don’t have to think about this ever again.”

  “You said last night you weren’t leaving,” his voice strained. “Don’t let this change your mind.”

  I thought about his whispered request not to go, and I had said I wouldn’t. But I’d only meant the night, and so did he.

  I shook my head. “You told me to go. You said you’d keep in touch but you won’t.”

  He dropped into the chair behind him and rested his head in his hands. “Don’t do this. Don’t twist everything up. Just listen to me and ignore everything else. I love you.”

  I stared at him, empty. I had nothing left. My defenses didn’t even need to be up; there was nothing left to protect. I was one big gaping hole. The result of Ethan’s destruction. I’d taken a leap with him, thought he helped me fly, but all he did was lift me up to drop me further. Now, I crashed, and he was still picking at my remains.

  I turned and walked away down the steps. A shell of myself.

  ~Carly~

  Carly was giddy like a school girl. And it had nothing to do with a man. The thought made her proud.

  She took the elevator back to her room and replayed the night’s events in her head.

  Eileen had planned a dinner for her staff and some friends. Everyone had been nice and welcoming to Carly. It was a perfect introduction to her new city. She even had made plans with several of the people to do different things in the city. She also had plans to attend church. A service Eileen highly recommended.

  Carly felt her life had finally shifted in a positive direction. Everything felt right about this move. All that was missing was Kate.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you stand.

  Hayley Williams

  Sydney stepped in front of me at the bottom of the steps. “Did he admit it?”

  I stared through her but nodded as I continued to walk past.

  “Wait. What did he say? What happened?” She asked, following behind me.

  Taylor walked out of an open doorway ahead of me. Staggering, she trailed her hand along the wall for balance. “There you b
itches are. Have you seen Liam?”

  I tuned out my surroundings. Focused only on leaving, I continued my path off the boat.

  “What the hell is your problem, you rude ass bitch?” Taylor slurred at me as she shoved my shoulder from behind.

  I spun around on the defense.

  Her laugh was harsh like pebbles being thrown. “I was talking to you. You can’t ignore me. You think just because Liam and Ethan gave you attention, you're hot shit, but you’re not. You don’t belong here; nobody wants you. You may have a rich daddy now, but that doesn’t make you one of us. You're still trailer park trash,” She spit each word as she inched closer towards me.

  “Whoa, Taylor, what the hell?” Ethan stepped in between us, glaring in her direction.

  Liam pulled at Ethan’s arm, his smile filling his face. “Leave them alone E. This was just getting good.”

  “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Ethan flung away Liam’s arm.

  “It’s all right. It’s over,” Taylor said, taking a step back with a wicked grin. “She’s not going to do shit. She knows I’m right; I can tell.”

  Ethan stepped closer, his soulful eyes searching me.

  Waiting for me to crack.

  They all were.

  They stared, silent, waiting for me to break down with defeat or go into crazy fight mode. Either way, all they wanted was a show. They wanted to see me lose it. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

  I looked around the small circle that had formed. Sydney. Taylor. Liam. Ethan. Chelsea. Even my own sister waited with anticipation for my reaction. I’d thought I was beyond feeling, but her eager expression scraped at my charred remains.

  “You're right.” I nodded to Taylor without emotion. “I don’t fit in. But I’m okay with that.” I breathed out one bitter laugh as I glanced around the group. “Thanks for the reminder.” I walked away without turning back, ignoring all their responses.