The groan that escaped him, rumbled through my body and settled between my thighs. Yeah, his kisses were that good, a few strokes of his tongue and need was pulsing its way through my body, setting it ablaze.
I had no recollection of us moving, but one moment I was standing and then I found myself flat on my back on my couch with Logan on top of me. His mouth never left mine but his hands were everywhere. Caressing my legs, gripping my thighs, fisting my hair.
I thought that I couldn't possibly experience any more sensations, but I found out just how wrong I was when Logan rolled his hips. Something between a sigh and gasp left my lips and when he did it again, I realized that it would just take a few of those precise movements and I'd be gone.
A little out of breath and a lot turned-on, I managed to drag my mouth away from his. "I think we need to slow down, Flynn's in the other room."
Logan frowned as if he'd also just discovered the position we were in and then he was sitting at the far end of the couch, dragging his hands through his hair. I don't know why, but I burst out laughing and simply couldn't stop.
"Why are you laughing, woman?" He sounded genuinely upset and that just made me laugh more.
"I don't know."
Shaking his head, Logan mumbled, "My kisses make you laugh."
"Oh, it did a whole lot more than just make me laugh." And then I added, "Maybe you could come over tomorrow and kiss me into laughter again?" Clearly, my brain-to-mouth filter wasn't working fine, but it didn't matter. The smile Logan rewarded me with was enough to melt my cares away if only for a few moments.
It would seem that whenever he was around me common sense went straight out of the window because when I walked into the clinic the next morning, my head was still very much filled with all things Logan. So much so that I bumped straight into a woman waiting by my desk. It was only when she turned around and I started to apologize that I realized who she was.
"Mrs. Jackson, I'm so sorry I didn't see you." Because I was too busy reliving your son's amazing kisses. I wasn't a person that blushed, but I felt the heat creep into my cheeks while Logan's mother looked at me with sparkling eyes.
"Call me Daisy," Her smile was big and bright, the tiny wrinkles at the corners a testament to a happy life.
I gave her a quick nod before rounding my desk and peeking down the hallway. "Do you need me to call Chase for you? He has to be here somewhere I saw his truck outside."
Daisy's graying shoulder-length curls bounced this way and that as she shook her head adamantly. "I came to see you, Harper."
If ever there was a time for the ground beneath my feet to open up and swallow me, it was now! I wasn't stupid; I knew that Logan and I were the topic on everyone's lips. Hell, people had been asking me about it when I went to buy bread. Was this the part where she warned me to stay away from her son?
Squaring my shoulders, I looked her in the eye and said, "It's about Logan, isn't it?"
"More about him keeping you and your son to himself," Placing her wrinkled hands on my desk, she leaned closer. "I'm feeling left out. I keep hearing about how unbelievably adorable your little boy is, and I'd very much like to meet him as well as spend some time with the woman who has managed to put a smile on my son's face."
I was so screwed.
"Someone here to see you."
I rolled out from beneath the Toyota on which I was working to find Brett grinning at me. Frowning at him, I pushed to my feet and grabbed the rag hanging over the car's side mirror.
"You said I have company?" I asked while I wiped my dirty hands on the cloth.
"Yup," Brett's grin widened and he jerked his head in the direction of our break area. "And by the looks of it, I'd say you're in a bit of trouble."
When I noticed who my friend was talking about, I pushed past him at once and headed to where Harper was pacing with her hands planted on her hips. The only thing on my mind was kissing those pretty lips. I thought better of it when I saw the storm brewing in her eyes though.
"I'd say this is a nice surprise, but Sugar, you don't look happy." She stopped pacing and stared at me, her teeth digging into her bottom lip and her eyes wide.
"Your mother just came to see me."
"Ah, shit." Knowing momma she possibly bullied my girl into a lunch-date or something. I was also aware of the fact that I kept referring to Harper as mine, wishful thinking I guess.
"Yeah," she blew out a breath and focussed on a spot on my chest. "She invited us to a BBQ this weekend." By the look on her face, you'd think that my mom had asked her to go to an execution instead of a friendly gathering.
Pressing my fingers under her chin, I guided her gaze back to mine. "It was just an invitation, attendance isn't mandatory."
Harper pulled away from my touch and shook her head. "It's not that I don't want to go, it's...it's…" she let out a sigh and gave me her back while dragging her hands through her hair. She'd been letting it hang loose more often and I loved it.
But now was not the time to be thinking about her tresses or how desperately I wanted to feel their silkiness between my fingers. She was upset and I needed to make it right. Placing my hands on her shoulders I turned her to face me.
Still cupping her shoulders, I stooped so I could look directly into her troubled green eyes. "Talk to me, Sugar."
"Your mom and maybe even the whole town think that we-" she waggled her index finger between us. "- are dating. Going there with Flynn will just lead to more questions. People are already stopping me in the store to find out when the big day is." Yeah, that's small town folks for ya.
I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping that she'd be a bit more keen on the idea of the two of us dating. But with the little pieces she'd given me so far, I knew that Harper was terrified of commitment. The one thing she didn't realize was that I'd wait as long as it took for her open up and let me in. Lifting my lips into a smile, I said, "Let them think what they want, Sugar. We're adults, we don't need to explain ourselves to anyone and we sure as hell don't need to define what's going on between us."
"But-"
I pressed my thumb against her lips and shook my head, "No buts and no pressure for this weekend. Momma is just curious about you and that's my fault." More hopeful than curious. I hadn't shown much interest in women since the accident.
Without thinking, I pulled her to me. It was only when she was cradled against my chest that I realized that she came without hesitation, not even caring that I was dirty and stank of motor oil.
Something else hit me just then. Falling for this woman would be the easiest thing in the world but letting her go would be impossible. The mere thought that this moment—and my time with Harper—could be limited had me squeezing her tighter to me.
I wanted this woman in every single way a man could want a woman and the thing that petrified me most was that she wasn't even close to feeling that way about me. Before I could voice the craziness going on in my head, I pulled back and started to bend down for a kiss. I was so close to tasting her mouth, I could feel her breath on me and then…
"No. Nope!" Brett's voice was equivalent to taking a bucket of ice over the head. "I'm declaring the shop a smooch-free zone!"
At the sound of my untimely friend's chuckle, Harper pressed her head deeper into my chest. By her shaking shoulders, I could tell that she was laughing too, and I had to resist the urge to tell her that I'd do anything to keep seeing her like this.
"I've got to get back to work, I didn't even tell Chase I was leaving." The breath left my lungs when she pulled back and I got to look at her pretty face. What was once so guarded and troubled now seemed almost—almost—carefree. Sure, all of her doubts were still visible, but I knew I wasn't imagining it when I saw hope there too.
And I definitely tasted it when I pressed my mouth to hers. Behind me, I heard Brett's "Ah, man!" Lifting my hand high, I flipped him off because where Harper was concerned, there was no such thing as a smooch-free zone.
I had been going back and forth
on whether to attend this BBQ or not and ultimately decided that I was going. I would have liked to believe that I was just doing this to see the joy on Flynn's face when he saw the animals, but apparently, I couldn't even lie to myself anymore.
I found that I wanted to know everything there was to know about this man who had managed to make me feel normal. I was being downright selfish because even though I wanted to know him inside out, I wasn't prepared to give him the same.
It wasn't because I didn't want to. More than once I'd caught myself itching to tell him who I really was and what I was running from. But what good would that do? He might be big and strong, but Logan couldn't protect me and Flynn from Drew. No one could.
Also, we weren't his responsibility.
Turning right, I followed Logan's truck, in my Nissan, as we gradually made our way down the long dirt road that supposedly led to his parents' house. The view was spectacular. Through the imposing trees, that shadowed the path, I could see nothing but green land and blue skies overhead.
Even Flynn perked up, pressing his hands and face against the window as he tried to take everything in. Maybe I should've told him to sit down and buckle up, but we weren't driving that fast and that smile on his face… It caused my heart to cry.
After a couple of minutes, a white building came into view, but it didn't hold my attention too long. I was more focused on the big yellow barn adjacent to it.
"Aren't barns supposed to be red, mommy?"
I stole a quick glance at my boy, a frown way too big marring his small features. "They can be whatever color you want them to be."
"Really?" He sounded incredulous. "Even blue or green."
"Yes, baby. Even blue and green."
"Cool."
With a laugh, I shook my head and pulled to a stop behind Logan's truck. Both my hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were turning white. I thought I was ready for this, I was wrong.
Inside my chest, my heart started to race and panic licked its way down my spine. Before I could whip the car in reverse and get the hell out of there, my door swung open.
"Take a breath, sugar."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Logan turn off the ignition before dropping to his haunches and placing his hand just above my denim-clad knee.
"You don't have to go in there if you don't want to." His voice was tender as he gave my knee a gentle squeeze. Right that second, I hated him for being so gentle and understanding with me. For making me want to stay - possibly forever.
"Mommy?"
To my right, Flynn's little face was filled with confusion. My poor child. I couldn't back out of this now. How was I going to explain it to Flynn? I gave him a reassuring smile and then said, "Go ahead baby, I'm right behind you." Then I turned my attention back to the man patiently waiting for me. A flame of emotions burned in his dark gaze, I had no hope of understanding them all.
I let out a slow breath and nodded my head after which Logan pushed to his feet and held out his hand. "Are we doing this?"
My gaze flitted between his hand and his achingly beautiful face before settling on his hand again. Pressing my palm against his, I said the only thing I could say at that moment.
"Yes."
I don't know why, but I allowed Logan to hold on to my hand as he led me up the wooden steps of his parents' wrap-around porch. On the outside their home was gorgeous. It stood proudly with its white walls and black roof. The wood creaked beneath our feet and even though it looked weathered, it felt sturdy, secure. The well-worn cushions on the porch-swing were a testament of days and nights spent there, just being. It all screamed of happy years and good times.
The things I wanted for Flynn.
My depressing thoughts quickly took a backseat when Logan opened the door and pulled me in after him. I felt a tug on my other hand and realized I was gripping my boy's hand too tight.
There was no time to apologize to him; we hadn't even made it fully inside the house before Logan's mother had her arms around my shoulders in a hug.
"I'm so happy you came," She squealed into my ear while all I could think was that I needed space to catch my breath.
"Momma," Logan must've known what I was thinking. "You're gonna crush her."
Daisy let me go and gave her son a look of warning before turning back to me with mild embarrassment on her face. "Sorry," she shrugged, "I'm just so happy that you made it."
I'm sure the smile on my lips looked forced and the "Me too," I uttered sounded weak, but the universe gave me a break when no one said anything and chose to focus all their energy on my sweet Flynn.
When I felt him squeeze my hand, I realized Logan was still holding it. When I turned my head to look at him my chest constricted in the worst way. Right there, in those whiskey-eyes, was the one thing that I was the most scared of.
Logan had some pretty strong feelings for me; I'd been seeing it in the way he looked at me more and more lately. The problem was that I didn't want to be loved. The only love I knew was toxic, and I had no desire to experience it again.
"Why don't you and I get better acquainted in the kitchen," His mother was speaking to me but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out how this man could feel about me the way he so clearly did. "Maybe the boys can go feed the horses," Daisy continued.
I had to say something, anything really, but my tongue felt heavy and my throat clogged. When I felt Flynn furiously tug on my arm I was pulled out from the spell I was under. Trying to figure out what I was feeling at that moment was a hopeless task so I focused on my son instead.
"Can I go with Logan, Mommy?" It took me a few seconds, but I managed to recall someone saying something about horses. Get it together, Harper!
"Sure, baby. Just be careful okay?"
I felt Logan's breath fan my ear before I heard his words, "I'll never let anything happen to my little man." Before I could say anything else, he pushed past me and hauled Flynn onto his broad shoulders with ease.
I was left gawking at the image of them bouncing down the steps in excitement. Maybe my head wasn't ready to admit it but my heart was making space for a certain dark-haired mechanic.
"He's amazing with kids."
I expected to find Daisy staring at her son with the same goofy look that I was sure I was wearing. Instead, I found her looking at me, and the expression on her face said she knew without a doubt what was going through my mind.
"Yeah," I barely managed to keep from sighing.
Logan's mother silently studied me for what seemed like minutes before she reached over and grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's get you something to drink and I could use a hand with the salads."
It took a while, but I ultimately found my footing around Daisy, I was even starting to feel comfortable in her company. She had this easy-going personality that reminded me so much of Chase but when I looked in her eyes, I saw Logan. The only difference was the heaviness in his wasn't present in hers.
As I shredded the cabbage for the coleslaw, I couldn't help but envision how great it must've been to grow up in this house, even if yellow was the predominant color. In any other place it would have been too much but here, the yellow walls, white counters, and light wood floor reminded me of sunshiny days.
I could see Daisy wearing a big smile as she cooked breakfast for her family while it was still dark out, or how she was waiting with a cool, refreshing drink when they returned after a hard day's labor. I could see it because if this had been my home and if this had been my family that's what I would've done.
It was the kind of life I always dreamed of having, the kind of life I thought I would have when I'd married Drew. Usually, when I thought of him I always felt fear, today, however, anger accompanied that. He'd taken my past and now I was allowing him to take my future too.
A future that could possibly include Logan Jackson.
"Don't freak out, Sugar," As if he was stepping straight out of my mind, Logan ap
peared next to me. "I kinda like seeing you like this."
I glanced at him but because I couldn't take the expression of hope on his face, I turned my attention back to the cutting board. I tried and tried to think of something funny to say but the only words floating around my head were: 'I like being here with you.'
Those words never left my lips though. Before I failed miserably at keeping my feelings in check, Logan spoke again, "Take a drive with me?"
I peeked at his mom over my right shoulder; she was trying her hardest to pretend that she wasn't listening to our conversation while chopping the potatoes with expert precision. Biting back a laugh, I turned my attention to the man on my left. "You want to go for a drive? Now?"
"I want to show you something."
Behind me, I heard his mom snicker and then try to cover it up with a cough. Apparently, he heard it too because when I looked back at him, he was blushing. Yes, Logan, the bad-ass, was beet-red. Not even his beard could hide it.
That was also the time I noticed something or rather someone was missing. "Where's Flynn?" I couldn't help it; my heart skipped a few beats.
"He's with Pop. Chris, the ranch manager, is showing him a few horse-tricks." I dropped everything in my hands and started to march out when Logan's fingers curled around my wrist. "He's safe, Sugar. No one will allow anything to happen to him."
I scanned his face for just an ounce of doubt and found absolutely nothing. Maybe it was that feeling that I was being watched that caused this paranoia in me. "I can't go with you and leave Flynn here."
"We're not going far. I'm not even taking you off the ranch." He didn't say it but this was important to him. I felt it in his touch and I saw the plea in his eyes. I felt compelled to go with him wherever he wanted to go.
"Let me just wash my hands," He held onto my wrist for a couple of seconds before allowing me to pull away. After my hands were clean, Logan took me to where Flynn was enjoying himself. I heard his laughter before I even saw his small hand petting the enormous animal. Logan's dad was on his haunches next to my boy, his arm wrapped around Flynn's tiny waist and Chris was keeping an eye on the horse.
Shattered (Willow Creek Book 1) Page 11