Box Set #3: The Serenity Deception: [The 4 book 3rd Adventure of Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood]

by Robert Iannone

  “Correct. I am in the capitol city of Pella Mang’olia on the planet Peekaboo Prime.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Why do you ask that?”

  “Peekaboo? What kind of a name is that for a planet?”

  “Actually, it is very appropriate. This system has two planets that revolve around each other – much like earth and its moon. Only here, the larger planet, SunnySide, does not rotate, again like earth’s moon. So one side always faces its sun – hence the name.”

  “And Peekaboo?”

  “The smaller planet rotates around SunnySide and appears in the west then disappears in the east about ten times a day. It was said to be playing peekaboo with the inhabitants of SunnySide.”

  “Ah. That’s cool.”

  “That it is. Anyway, I have been on a diplomatic mission meeting with the Empress Violetta Veeva Velveeta of the Starlight Alliance. The world that you are on – Laff’Alott – is part of that alliance.”

  “Wait a minute. What was that name again?”

  “Empress Violetta Veeva Velveeta. However, she is referred to as Her Imperial Majesty, the Empress Violetta.”

  Egg stole a glance at Sylvia who had put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh.

  “Wow.”

  “When one is on a diplomatic mission, one does not pass judgment on such things as names . . . regardless of your personal feelings.”

  “Gotcha. So, besides saying hello, was there another reason for this call?”

  Meg smiled again. “Need there be other reasons?”

  “Of course not . . . but there is, right?”

  “Ah, Egg my dearest sister, you never cease to amaze me.”

  “So?”

  “I just wanted to warn . . . to inform . . . you that the stories of the Hameggattic Sisterhood have been made available to her Imperial Majesty. She is very intrigued.”

  “And?”

  “One never knows how the Empress will react. I called to caution you that though you are on vacation, do not let your guard down completely. Do you understand?”

  “Not really . . . but okay. We’ll stay alert.”

  “Very good. Do try to enjoy your stay in Fair’Giggle. I am told it has much to offer.”

  “Why don’t you come join us?”

  “Would that I could. However, you must promise to visit with me upon your return. Do I have your word? All of you?”

  “As the leader of this group of wandering whacky women, I promise.”

  “Until then . . . enjoy yourselves. But do be careful.”

  *****

  “What do you think?” Egg asked the girls.

  “I’m so glad they repaired the scar,” said Aeri’elle. “I’m still amazed at how well she handled the whole episode.”

  “Yeah. Mega-brat became mega-amazing. But I was talking about her warning.”

  “If I was the Empress,” began BreeZee, “I would want to see if the sisterhood might be a threat.”

  “Why would we be a threat? And a threat to what?” asked Soo.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe she’s afraid that we might help her enemies.”

  “What enemies?”

  “She rules an alliance of planets. There’s bound to be somebody that doesn’t like her.”

  “Bree, that’s pretty good thinking,” complimented Sylvia.

  “Thanks.”

  “So if that’s true, what would she do?” asked Bl’azzz.

  “I, for one, would want to see just how good the sisterhood was,” replied Aeri’elle. “But since the Empress and Dazzle seem to be working towards some kind of treaty, she can’t do anything that could upset the negotiations. So whatever she might have planned can’t be too dangerous for us.”

  “Or maybe she had nothing planned. Maybe she’ll just keep an eye on us,” suggested Spirit.

  “No way.” The girls all looked at Egg. “That would be too easy. And the one thing that doesn’t change is it’s never easy for the sisterhood.”

  “So what do you suggest?” asked Aeri’elle.

  “Like Meggy said . . . stay alert and have fun.”

  “Kind of puts a damper on things,” moaned Bl’azzz.

  “As Grammy has told me about a thousand times, don’t worry about what you can’t change. So, where were we?”

  “Tee’ka was about to explain exactly what she is,” Sylvia reminded her sisters.

  “Okay, Tee’ka. So tell us . . . what are you? Oh, but easy on the techno babble please.”

  “Of course,” said their hostess. Then it happened again . . . she flickered for a few seconds.

  “Now what?”

  “Before I begin, I have been instructed to tell you, Egg, that as long as you are on this planet, your flying suit will not function.”

  “WHAT?”

  “I have been instructed to tell you that as long as you are on this planet, your flying suit will not function.” Apparently, Tee’ka was unfamiliar with earth expressions.

  “Who told you and why?”

  “The termination of your suit functions was requested by her Imperial Majesty, Empress Violetta Veeva Velveeta. No reason was given.”

  “Well, that didn’t take her very long.”

  “How do you stop the suit from functioning?” asked Aeri’elle.

  “Are you familiar with high-energy quantum physics?”

  “No.”

  “Then my explanation would have little meaning.”

  “Egg, are you getting goose bumps?” asked her Feminion. Her friend seemed to have a sixth sense about danger . . . and it was her goose bumps that let her know.

  “No. How weird is that?”

  “Can I say something?” asked BreeZee.

  “You don’t have to ask permission.”

  “If it were me, I would want to know if the Sisterhood succeeded because one of its members had an unfair advantage . . . namely the only flying suit in the universe.”

  “Bree, wow”. Sylvia said it, but all the girls were equally impressed.

  “How did you become so clever?” teased Spirit.

  “Don’t be silly,” answered the Wind’dancer modestly. “I only seem clever . . . compared to the rest of you.” Her face lit up with a giant grin, her eyebrows arched up and she blushed at her bold joke.

  “Jynxie . . .,” yelled Egg, “do the tongue bug thing on her.”

  The Shamie didn’t even look up.

  “Hey, you oversized teddy bear . . .,” but Spirit interrupted her.

  “She doesn’t know you well enough, Egg. You need to spend some quality time with her.”

  “If she doesn’t snore, she can sleep in my room tonight.”

  “Grrrrrr. Burp.”

  “Shut up.”

  “If you people would concentrate for a minute,” demanded Soo. “I don’t like it. Flying Girl that can’t fly. That would make you just . . . um . . . Girl.”

  “I don’t think we should be that concerned,” replied Spirit. “Tee’ka said that anything we want on this planet we get just by thinking it. Why would Egg even need to fly?”

  There was a minute of silence as the girls gave that some thought.

  Sylvia answered for the group. “Got nothing.”

  “Look, let’s worry about it when it becomes a worry. We always have the option of leaving.” No one objected. “Tee’ka, if you could stop blinking for a minute, tell us about yourself then about Fair’Giggle.”

  “As you wish, Egg.”

  Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

  “First, I must tell you that few of our visitors have any interest in me or any of the hosts or hostesses. So I thank you for that question.”

  “How could they not find you interesting?” asked Spirit. “Are your kind that common in the Starlight Alliance?”

  “We are not unique to this world though the technology, I have been told, is very expensive. That limits the number of planets that can afford us.”

  “So you’re not just a computer proj
ection?”

  “Yes and no, Aeri’elle. It is true that I was not born of flesh and blood but I am very much my own person. For instance, I feel gratitude that you are taking this opportunity to learn about me and my kind. However, the computer takes the essence of who I am and projects it into the form you see before you.”

  “You did change your color though.” The other six girls looked at BreeZee.

  “What are you talking about?” asked Egg.

  “On the ship her hair was green and her skin white . . .

  but now . . . .” and she pointed at the blue-green skin, reddish-brown hostess.

  “And, in my opinion, this look is much more exotic. I like it.”

  Egg looked at Sylvia. “How come you didn’t notice that, my Feminion?”

  “I’m definitely slipping. I’m so distracted by everything – you know, the big picture - that I don’t even see the obviously obvious detail.”

  Addressing BreeZee, Tee’ka said “I can actually change into any color combination that suits my whim or the client’s taste. However, in the last twenty years, the length of time since I was created, no one ever commented about this aspect of me or any of the other hostesses . . . assuming that they even noticed. You were the first. I do thank you.”

  “Doesn’t that make you a little sad?” asked Bl’azzz.

  “In ways you could not imagine.” She paused then said, “I am terribly sorry. Please forgive me. You did not come to Laff’Alott to suffer through the tedious story of my life. If you wish to file a formal complaint with Fair’Giggle management, I will see that they receive it. At the very least, I will ask for another hostess to be assigned to your needs. Again, I ask your forgiveness. My behavior has been unprofessional.”

  “Hey,” cried Egg, “first of all you’re doing exactly what we asked . . . telling us about yourself. Second, we don’t want anybody else. We want you. And third, lighten up, girl. We’re all friends here . . . and that includes you.” She turned to the others and asked, “Am I right or am I right?”

  “Absolutely” and “yes” were the most common responses. Soo, however, put it a little more poetically - “unconditionally and unquestionably undeniable.” Then she added, “Hey, that’s the first time with three ‘u’ words. How good am I?” That was greeted with a series of one-word insults . . .

  “Unbelievable.”

  “Unimaginative.”

  “Uninteresting.”

  “Uninspiring.”

  “Unoriginal.”

  “Undistinguished.”

  Then Tee’ka surprised them all with her own “underwhelming” and laughed. Then “Oops, sorry.” But it was too late. Everyone was laughing.

  “That’s much better,” encouraged Egg. “So, keep going. Tell us everything.”

  Tee’ka slowly turned around so she could look at each girl in turn. “Thank you. I have been programmed with the knowledge of laughter and friendship but I have never experienced either one first hand with corporeal beings such as yourselves. It is most exciting.”

  “What did she say?” Egg asked the group.

  “I think she means that she doesn’t have friends other than ones like herself,” offered BreeZee. “She, and they, are computer simulations while we’re corporeal – beings with bodies.”

  The girls all stole a look at one another. They were beginning to feel very badly for their hostess. And without saying a word, each vowed to make their stay as enjoyable for Tee’ka as it promised to be for them.

  “As I mentioned, I was created twenty years ago . . . as were all the others of my kind. There were versions of us prior to that but they were not as sophisticated as we are. The scientist who is credited with our existence is . . . was . . . Astral Sing. She died during a catastrophic failure of some very exotic energy device she was developing. Her life was a celebration of truly innovative science and engineering and the Starlight Alliance will miss her brilliance. What is more sad, unfortunately, was that her daughter Serenity was terribly injured in the same accident. Her prodigious intelligence promised to surpass even that of her mother’s.” Tee’ka paused her story and asked, “Am I providing too much detail?”

  Egg answered for the sisterhood. “No way. It’s really interesting and besides, we have lots of time. So what happened to Serenity?”

  “I have no information on that subject.”

  That was a weird response since she was the one that brought it up to begin with.

  “What does that mean?” persisted Egg.

  “After the accident, Serenity left Laff’Alott. She has provided no further updates as to her location or activities.”

  “How old is she now?”

  “The accident occurred four years ago when Serenity was fourteen.”

  “Tee’ka . . . um . . . I’m not sure how to ask this,” began BreeZee. “You said you were your own person. Does that mean that no one can control what you say and do? Oh, and are you recording everything that happens?”

  Egg turned to Sylvia who stopped her from stating the obvious. “I know, I know. I’m your Feminion but she’s doing a better job at it than I am.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “I can read your face.”

  “Really? What does it say now?”

  “That your one card short of having a full deck . . . you whack-a-mole.”

  “No. It was saying ‘I’d love some chocolate ice cream’. And with that, a swirl of light formed in front of Egg and slowly became a bowl of ice cream. “Now that’s what I call room service.”

  “Would anyone else care for some refreshments?”

  No one did. However, BreeZee persisted with, “Tee’ka, about my questions?” and she left the thought unfinished.

  “I am free to do whatever I deem necessary to make your stay safe and enjoyable.” She hesitated as if she was considering what else she might say. “You should know that my independence can be overwritten . . . though that happens very rarely.”

  “Who would do that?” asked Aeri’elle.

  “And why?” added Sylvia trying to regain a little of her Feminion-like ways.

  “Anyone with access to my programming . . . and for any reason they choose.”

  That was kind of ominous. But BreeZee asked the all-important question. “Would you know that it was being done? Could you stop it from happening?”

  Again, everyone was impressed with the Wind’dancer. However, Sylvia shook her head . . . disgusted with her poor performance as Egg’s brain.

  “My answer is really no answer at all. I may or may not be aware. I may or may not be able to stop it. I may or may not be able to tell you that it’s happening. I’m sorry.”

  No one could think of anything to say to that. Unfortunately, Egg got goose bumps . . . but kept it to herself.

  “What about being recorded?” pressed Bree.

  “As a matter of routine, everything is recorded unless you command me not to.”

  “Why would they spy on us?”

  “It is not considered spying. It is how Laff’Alott improves the experience of our visitors. You, for instance, could ask to be shown a world that you have never visited, but one that another guest has. It is by sharing experiences we are able to provide the most exciting vacation possible.”

  That seemed reasonable . . . sort of.

  “Tee’ka, when you’re not with us . . . or with any guest . . . where do you go? Do they just turn you off?”

  “I reside inside the vast computer complex that controls this world. This may be difficult to understand, but I live in a virtual world that is as real to me as your homes are to you.”

  “All of your kind live in there, right?” asked Soo.

  “Yes, exactly.”

  “To what end?” asked Aeri’elle. “No offense, but why don’t they just shut you off until you’re needed?”

  “We live the experiences of our guests. This way we learn what will please or displease them. It is our way of evolving . . . to improve ourselves so
we can better serve those who visit our world.”

  “Can you give us an example?” asked Bl’azzz who wasn’t quite following the conversation.

  “Of course. Egg, when we first arrived, you mentioned that there were no rides and you listed a few. Please, think about one of them . . . relive the experience in your mind.”

  “Why?”

  “Humor me.”

  “Okay.” And she closed her eyes and thought about the time that she had flown Grammy and Sylvia to Disney World. The memory made her smile. She opened her eyes and said, “Now what?”

  “Now, if you agree, we shall share that experience.” She looked from girl to girl and they all nodded yes or shrugged okay.

  “Very good,” and she waved the wand that she held. The room dissolved and in its place was a teacup ride. The girls were in cups either by themselves or with another . . . and they were whirling around at a dizzying pace.

  Egg and Sylvia were grinning while Aeri’elle eeked in horror, Soo h’ssssed with laughter, BreeZee smiled knowing that this was child’s play compared to an Ascension Storm, Spirit’s eyes glowed red and Bl’azzz was burping and burning continuously.

  After two minutes, the ride began to slow then came to a stop. A blink of an eye later they were back in their room sitting on their chairs.

  “ARE YOU NUTS?” screamed Bl’azzz.

  “I’m so sorry,” apologized Tee’ka.

  “She was yelling at me, not you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Listen you big, lily-livered dragon . . . ,” teased Egg, “. . . on earth that’s a little kid’s ride.”

  “No way.”

  “Way.”

  “You put your children in that thing? Are you heartless barbarians?”

  “Excuse me,” interrupted BreeZee. “The important thing here is that with a wave of her wand, Tee’ka recreated Egg’s memory of that contraption. I don’t know about you, but I think I’m more than a little impressed.”

  Sylvia had a different notion. “Before we get into that, I would like to understand how that demonstration answers the question of why Tee’ka and the rest relive these experiences.”

  “When I have the opportunity, I will ‘ride’ the teacups to better understand why Egg found it amusing. I will also relive the experience of the rest of you since each reacted very differently. Once I understand your emotions, I will find a way to incorporate the activity into other simulations that you might enjoy.”