Box Set #3: The Serenity Deception: [The 4 book 3rd Adventure of Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood]

by Robert Iannone

  “Don’t you be putting that ride in anything I do,” commanded Bl’azzz.

  “You misunderstand. There may be times when experiencing such discomfort fits into an adventure that you might envision. It is not always pleasure that satisfies . . . sometimes being scared or uncomfortable is more appropriate.”

  “No teacups,” Bl’azzz repeated as she glared at their hostess.

  “As you wish.”

  “Tee’ka, how did you create that ride out of thin air?” asked Sylvia. “That seems so magical.”

  “I didn’t create the ride. I created the experience in your mind. In essence, you seven shared a common daydream.”

  “Well, this is one heck of an amusement park,” declared Egg.

  But Sylvia wasn’t quite satisfied with the answer she had received. “So, you can’t actually create stuff out of thin air?”

  “Um, what about our chairs and Egg’s ice cream,” BreeZee reminded the other girl.

  Sylvia blushed from embarrassment. “I forgot. Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. For worlds without this technology, it must seem very confusing. If I may continue . . .,” and she waited to see if anyone objected. “That technology also allows me to be both a projection and a solid object. It is all part of Astral Sing’s brilliance and imagination.”

  “She must have been one smart lady . . . kind of like our dear K’ssss,” said Soo.

  “I do not know of your friend. However, and I mean no disrespect, an intelligence such as Doctor Sing possessed occurs once in a millennium. The fact that her daughter also has the same remarkable ability is an occurrence so rare as to defy logic.”

  “And nobody knows what happened to her. To Serenity?”

  “When she lost her mother, she was inconsolable. Perhaps she needed time alone to refocus her life.”

  “Tee’ka, we would love to hear more of your story. But for now, could you tell us what to expect in Fair’Giggle. How do we make the most of our stay?”

  “Of course, Spirit. First, there are a number of cities on Laff’Alott though they are all closed at the moment. I will mention them by name without boring you with details. There is Give’Ahoot, Go’Lightly, Chuckle Downs, Chortle-Loony, Grin’topia, Deep Guffaw, New Smile, B’Happy, Cheer-fulonia, Lolli-opolis, Mad’Hattan and Horse’Around. Each caters to individuals of various ages and interest.

  Fair’Giggle was designed for young adults who wish to experience nostalgic events, surreal dreams and high adventure. The first refers to such things as Egg’s teacup ride or perhaps reliving a memory of someone who is no longer in your life. Surreal dreams is most interesting. It takes memories of books, stories or events and blends them into something both familiar and eerily different. Be warned, the results can range from overly happy to terrifyingly scary versions of what is almost remembered. The last is based on pure imagination. For example, perhaps you would like to match wits with an evil villain . . .”

  The girls looked at each other then started to giggle. Egg said, “Sorry, we’ve done that more than once.”

  “I should have realized that. The famous Hameggattic Sisterhood is renowned for such exploits.”

  “Yeah . . . not so much.”

  “I will finish quickly. In Fair’Giggle, you may experience anything that your memory or imagination can summon or anything that one of our previous guests has experienced. This can be done either as a daydream – like with the teacups as an example – or, we can create that ride in physical form for you to experience. You may participate as an active part of the simulation or as a passive observer, where you can watch your friends without actually partaking. Bl’azzz, for instance, would have been in the daydream but only as an observer . . . not as a rider. And lastly, you may enjoy any of this either on your own, with your friends or with any willing guest.”

  “Wow. That’s going to take a little time to digest,” said Aeri’elle.

  “Tee’ka, will you be with us during each . . . um . . . adventure?”

  “Only a hostess has the ability to activate the computer complex to create your simulations. Therefore, I must remain with your group throughout your stay. Should you break up into smaller groups, or venture off as individuals, I will duplicate myself and accompany each of you. As to participating in your recreations . . . no. That is not allowed. However, I will be an observer for reasons I have already explained. Please know that once in a simulation, you will not see me unless you call for my assistance.”

  The girls looked at each other. This was going to be one memorable vacation.

  They were right . . . unfortunately, not for the reasons they expected.

  Chapter 3 – Visitation Rites

  “So, Tee’ka, any suggestions as to what we should do first?”

  “Egg, I would suggest avoiding Surreal Dreams and High Adventure until you get accustom to our simulations. A Nostalgic Event is usually the best place to begin your enjoyment of our world. However, be sure to discuss your choice with each other. This way any member of the group can choose to observe rather than participate to avoid the unfortunate discomfort the teacups caused Bl’azzz.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Who wants to go first?”

  They all did.

  “Okay, stop. Let’s do it alphabetically. Aeri’elle will be first, followed by Bl’azzz, BreeZee, me then . . . hmmm . . . Soo, Spirit then Sylvia.”

  “Grrrrrr. Burp.”

  “Are you kidding me? Jynx wants a turn?”

  “Why not?”

  “Tee’ka . . . can you do Jynx?”

  The hostess flickered for a second. “Normally, it would not be possible to accommodate an animal. But the Shamie is sentient . . . in a primitive way. So, yes. Jynx may have a turn.”

  “Grrrrrr.”

  “You’re quite welcome, Jynx.”

  “I think I’ll be just an observer in that one,” instructed Egg.

  Like the rest, BreeZee was anxious to get going. “Aeri’elle, what’s your pleasure?”

  “Tee’ka, I would like a tour of the most prestigious university that any of your guests have ever visited. Is that possible?”

  “Of course. May I ask why?”

  “My father and I have been given the honor of creating an inter-species college on Aerianna. If I can see what other worlds consider extraordinary, it may help guide me in ways I had not considered.”

  “Excellent. And will everyone else like to participate or observe?”

  Since it didn’t seem dangerous, nauseating or dizzying – only a little boring – they all agreed to take part. Jynxie, however, chose not to go. How Tee’ka understood the Shamie’s intent was not obvious to the rest.

  And in the next instant, they were somewhere else . . . at least in their minds. But it seemed as real as if it were . . . well, really real. Standing in front of them was a three legged thingy. And though it did not have an obvious mouth, he said, “Welcome to the Stellar Theoretical University of Philosophical and Intellectual Discourse . . . however, we refer to ourselves as S.T.U.P.I.D. for the sake of brevity. My name is Dean Wormer and I will be your tour guide.”

  The name and the weird looking creature made all seven girls smile. Egg asked him “what are you?”

  “As I said, I am a Dean. I teach a class called The Metaphysical Analysis of Absolutely Nothing.” You could hear the pride in his voice as he said it.

  “Of course you do,” teased the girl, not even bothering to ask him what a course about nothing was supposed to be. “I meant what are you? I’m a human as are those three. These two are dragons and she’s a sea serpent.”

  “Ah. You wish to know what species I am. Well, I assumed that it was joyfully obvious but apparently, I was mistaken. I am a One-Eyed, One-Horned, Triple-legged Sighing Purple Steeple Bleater.”

  Egg laughed. “Yeah, you are.”

  The Dean glared at the girl with his one enormous eye. “If you have no further annoying, bothersome or irksome inquiries, I will commence the tour.” Even if there w
ere any other questions, the girls were too intimidated to ask. “Very well, if you would all be so good as to turn around . . .” and they did. The sight made them sigh a collective ‘Ohhh’. “ . . . I give you the galaxy’s most famous institute of higher learning. Welcome to S.T.U.P.I.D.”

  *****

  It took the better part of four hours to explore the huge complex. When they finished, the Dean bade them good day and slowly dissolved into nothing. A moment later, they were back in their room at the hotel – the one they never actually left.

  “That was awesome.”

  “I’m very pleased you found it interesting, Aeri’elle. Did you see anything that you might want to incorporate into your own university?”

  “Where do I begin . . .,” and the dragon rattled off about two dozen items that she had found particularly spectacular. “And, I’m going to ask the Queen to invite one of their faculty as a guest lecturer. I thought Dean Wormer was simply marvelous.”

  “That guy had one big eyeball,” observed Egg. The other girls (except the proud dragon) tittered.

  Ignoring her friend, Aeri’elle asked Tee’ka, “What can you tell me about his kind?”

  “They are very advanced. The whole species dedicate their entire lives to studying the unknowable. In fact, they consider it socially unacceptable to actually determine the answer to the questions they pose.”

  “Really? That seems . . . um, strange,” said the dragon.

  The hostess shrugged. “It takes all kinds.” As soon as she said it, Tee’ka put her hand over her mouth as if to get the words back. But it was too late . . . the girls all broke out laughing. They really were in a good mood. Heck, this was a vacation.

  “Tee, you’re beginning to sound like us. Good job.”

  “Egg, my name is actually Tee’ka but you may address me by any appellation you find fitting.”

  “No, you goofy, gullible guide. ‘Tee’ is just an abbreviation for Tee’ka. It’s like a nickname . . . like Egg. It’s one of the ways we show friendship.”

  Tee’ka stared at the girl for a few seconds. Then she flickered, floated over and gave Egg a hug. “Thank you. I have never had a nickname before. I will forever treasure such a wonderful gift.”

  Hmmm, that response kind of made the girls feel badly for their new friend. On an impulse, Egg asked, “Can you leave Laff’Alott if you wanted?”

  “Leave? Where would I go?”

  “You could come with us. I have plenty of room on my ship.”

  “For what purpose?”

  “Explore the universe with us. Help the Sisterhood the next time we go fight a bad guy. Or just take a vacation and pal around with seven lovely ladies and their loveable Shamie,” suggested BreeZee.

  Tee’ka flickered. A moment later, she said, “A conflict has occurred in my programming. Please stand by. Please stand by,” and she winked out.

  “What just happened?” asked Egg.

  “I think it’s our fault,” replied Sylvia. All eyes turned to look at her. “Our offer to take her with us is causing a problem with her program. On one hand, she was created to be a hostess on this world. On the other hand, except for the lack of blood and bones, she’s just a girl. And I think that girl desperately wants to go with her new friends.”

  “What should we do?”

  “I suggest we take it slowly with her. Show her what friendship is but don’t force her to make a decision that goes against her basic reason for being,” suggested BreeZee.

  “I agree,” added Syl.

  Just then, Tee’ka reappeared. “Apologies. I thank you for your very kind offer but it is not possible. Would someone else care to go next?”

  Egg didn’t like that response. It didn’t sound like Tee’ka. But before she could say something, Syl put her hand on her friend’s arm. “Let it go for now,” she whispered.

  “Okay”. To the group she said, “Bl’azzz, you big fraidy cat, it’s your turn.”

  “What I would love to experience is when Dazzle and Storm first became friends. But I guess that’s not possible.”

  “Actually,” answered Tee’ka, “it is possible. Your Queen kept a diary when she was young . . .”

  “Say what now?” Egg was stunned. Dazzle had never mentioned that she had one.

  “As part of the cultural exchange between Aerianna and Peekaboo Prime, Empress Violetta Veeva Velveeta has shared her childhood diary with Queen Rose’Alynnia. The Queen reciprocated and gave the Empress a copy of hers. It is now available to one and all.”

  “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe she never told me.”

  “Hey big bird, as a preeminent professor of the past, did you know about the diary?” asked Soo.

  Before Aeri’elle could answer, Bl’azzz teased her friend with, “Where did you find a word like preeminent? I didn’t think fish knew words with more than five letters.”

  “Who you calling a fish, you gargantuan gas bag?”

  “Enough already,” said the other dragon. “And the answer is kind of.”

  “What ‘kind of’ answer is ‘kind of’?”

  “There were rumors of a diary but the Queen never spoke of it. So we had no way of knowing for sure.”

  “Don’t you think she should have given it to you or your father so it could be included in the history of Aerianna?” asked BreeZee.

  “What I think isn’t important. Obviously, up until now, Dazzle didn’t want to share her most personal feeling with everyone. Egg, you’re the only one here that has ever kept a diary. What do you think?”

  “Um, most of what I write about nowadays is Hameggattic Sister stuff. Before that, it was stupid . . . and I do mean stupid . . . kid things. Dazzle was twenty when she went to earth. That means she had dated his Lordship for about four years. She probably wrote a lot about the guy she loved. That would be way too personal to share with everyone.”

  “Are you saying that you never wrote about your boyfriend in your diary?” Spirit asked it seriously but it was meant as a tease.

  Egg blushed. “That’s for me to know and for you to never find out,” and she stuck out her tongue.

  “Bl’azzz, do you still wish to relive your Queen’s first encounter with her best friend?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Since Storm was Aeri’elle’s great grandfather, she was almost jumping with anticipation. “Bl’azzz, I wish I had thought of this. I owe you one.”

  Everyone else was just as eager to participate.

  “May I suggest that you simply observe. Your participation might prove a distraction to the actual events.” They all agreed. “Then, what you are about to experience is a recreation based on the Queen’s entries which I will narrate for your benefit. Be warned, however, that when the diary jumps from one memory to the next, so will the simulation. It can prove a little disorienting. If you are ready . . .” and everyone nodded “. . . then we begin.”

  *

  They were in a well-appointed bedroom in the palace on Q’umulus . . . one befitting a royal princess. It appeared to be late in the evening for the view out the window was pitch black. One of the two moons was clearly visible and it cast an orange glow on the lone inhabitant. It was Rose’Alynnia. She looked to be ten or twelve years of age . . . younger than Egg or Sylvia were now. Dressed in a beautiful nightgown of some silky iridescent blue material, she was seated at a desk. Her head was bent over her diary and she was busy writing an entry . . .

  [Voice of Tee’ka]: “Tomorrow I will pay my respects to Queen F’Aerianne and so begins the last leg of my banishment. The thought of spending any length of time with Dragons is a depressing one. Other than my dearest Kl’air, they are all so grumpy.

  However, my father has proven yet again to be the wisest man I know. Though I would never tell him, I enjoyed my visit with the Duke and Duchess. They were wonderful tutors and two of the nicest, kindest people I have ever met. And K’oral was just as wonderful. I’ve come to think of her as a friend. So his first two choices were excellent. I hope t
his one will prove to be as good.

  Just to be sure things go my way, I’ve concocted a little plan. Perhaps it’s a tad dangerous, but I think the reward outweighs the risks. Besides, I’m bored and some excitement is just the thing to get my spirits up. I will have Kl’air fly me on her back to Talon’s Perch. If that doesn’t impress that cantankerous woman, nothing will.”

  *

  The bedroom faded away. They were now flying alongside Rose and the dragon Kl’air. In the distance was the castle city of Talon’s Perch . . . a gloomy place but spectacular as is sat perched on the very pinnacle of a mountaintop.

  As they approached, the scene abruptly changed again. They were now in the throne room of Queen F’Aerianne. She didn’t look all that happy to see the Princess.

  [Voice of Tee’ka]: “I’m such a loveable princess. Really and truly. But that old biddy purposely tried to make me angry. For the most part, I behaved exceedingly well, all things considered. Reluctantly, I will admit she finally goaded me into saying things probably best left unsaid.

  Just in case my father should hear about this little encounter, I will endeavor to remember and record every word if I need to defend my honor.

  It started well enough. I bowed deeply and greeted her as if I weren’t the Royal Princess. No simple task, that.

  She responded with a thinly veiled complaint. “Your father has honored me. It is not often that Dragons are asked to teach Humans.”

  “The honor is mine, your Majesty,” I answered ignoring the rudeness of her statement. “This is an opportunity I look forward to.” That, of course, was a polite lie but one that was expected of me.