Box Set #3: The Serenity Deception: [The 4 book 3rd Adventure of Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood]

by Robert Iannone

release the cold from this witch’s brew

  She finished and turned toward Spirit. “I’m thinking of a number between one and ten. Can you guess it?”

  Spirit shrugged at the nonsensical question . . . but answered, “Three?”

  “Exactly. Very, very good. Three. Yes, yes, yes.” She pointed again at Spirit and muttered . . .

  Thee I choose on this darkest day

  Your friends you now must betray

  Exotic Girl, play your part

  I turn you into the Three of Heart.

  And Spirit began to dissolve into a blur . . .

  Then the blur began to take shape. And to the horror of her sisters, Spirit became . . .

  . . . the Three of Hearts.

  “Take them, my pretty, to the Red Queen.”

  And she started to cackle with glee . . .

  Chapter 1 – Merlin the Magician

  “Oh my gosh. Spirit, are you okay?”

  Ignoring the question, her former sister pointed toward the large door and said, “Follow me.”

  “No,” responded Egg belligerently. “Not going to happen. We’re not going anywhere with you.”

  The Three of Hearts didn’t smile, didn’t frown, didn’t show any emotion whatsoever. She simply picked up her lance, pointed it at the remaining four girls and repeated, “Follow me.”

  Egg opened her mouth to argue again but found her body moving of its own accord. She glanced at the others and they, too, were beginning to move much like puppets on a string.

  “Soo, make her stop,” pleaded Bl’azzz.

  “I think not,” replied the witch.

  “Please. Don’t do this.”

  “Oh, dear me – just look at the time. It really does fly when you’re having fun, doesn’t it? Can’t stay and chat . . . I really must skedaddle like a scalded cat.” She smiled at her silly rhyme then looked at her former sisters and said, “Smell you later, alligator.” Just to make weird even weirder, she did the unexpected (all things considered, that’s saying something). She dove into the cauldron and disappeared. All that was left of Soo, the Sand Witch, was her comical conical hat floating on top of the bubbling liquid.

  Unbeknownst to the others, back in their room, the real Soo also disappeared only to be replaced by a replica. She re-materialized, unconscious, in the same place as Aeri’elle . . . and she, too, was in some kind of pod.

  The Three of Hearts marched slowly to the large front door and tapped her lance on the stone floor. The door responded by squeaking and squealing as it opened. Without looking back to make sure the girls were following, the newly trans-configurated Spirit walked out.

  The four girls had no choice but to follow. Their herky-jerky motion made them look like zombies from a horror movie in search of a hot meal.

  “Anybody have any ideas?” asked Egg.

  “How about waking up and ending this nightmare,” suggested her Feminion.

  “And how do we do that?”

  “Maybe if I slap you . . .”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Ummm . . . mostly.”

  “Egg . . .,” called BreeZee, “Any idea what the Queen of Hearts will do to us?”

  “If it’s like the story, she’ll chop off our heads.” That answer gave Bl’azzz a sudden attack of gas and she burped and burned.

  “HEY, watch it,” yelled Egg as the fireball passed over her head.

  But it missed by a good foot or two . . . and struck the Three of Hearts smack in the middle of her ‘playing card’ back.

  To the horror of the Sisters, Spirit began to go up in smoke.

  She turned around to look at the girls, her eyes very wide. But she didn’t scream . . . she just slowly dissolved into a reddish glow and a puff of smoke. And in a few seconds, she was gone.

  Back in her room, Spirit also vanished like the others and was replaced by a replica. And now there was another sister in a pod . . . kind of like a bunch of peas.

  “You don’t think I hurt her?” asked a shocked Bl’azzz.

  BreeZee put her hand on the dragon to reassure her. “No, it was just her dream simulation, not the real her.”

  “But the safety protocols . . .”

  The Wind’dancer wasn’t sure how to respond so she looked to Egg for help.

  “I think Tee reactivated them. Look . . .,” and she held up her arms, “. . . no goose bumps.”

  Bl’azzz still didn’t look convinced. The thought that she might have hurt her Sister was overwhelming and she sat with her head hanging down.

  “She didn’t scream,” interjected Sylvia.

  “What?”

  “She didn’t scream. If you had hurt her, she would have screamed. But, she didn’t. It wasn’t her.”

  “You’re not just trying to make me feel better, are you?”

  “Well, of course I am. But what I said still stands.”

  “Besides . . .,” added Egg, “if we didn’t try to defend ourselves, then there would be no use going through this challenge. We’d just lose. So, it’s okay. In fact, when . . . I mean if . . . any of you change, you better watch your sorry butts. I will always defend my Sisters to the death . . . but simulations are fair game.”

  She was trying to lighten the mood . . . but failed miserably.

  Egg exhaled loudly. “Come on. Let’s keep going.”

  “Which way?” asked Bree.

  “Bl’azzz, fly us over the castle. The road probably continues on the other side.”

  “Why don’t we just fly all the way?”

  “Cause whatever got Aeri’elle might still be out there. Besides, up there . . .,” and she pointed skyward, “only you could defend us. Maybe Bree could help. Down here, all four of us can fight.”

  The girls were quiet as they digested those words. Sylvia broke the silence with, “Did you ever notice that we’re actually lousy at fighting? We usually win by our wits and luck, not our strength.”

  “Now that’s a scary thought,” replied her friend.

  Bree, Syl and Egg climbed on the F’yre Dragon’s back and she leapt skyward. Up and over the castle then down again took all of ten seconds. Egg had guessed right . . . the red brick path was there. This time they walked closer together – just for safety sake.

  “Hey, Feminion, what do you think we’ll meet next?”

  “Well, we had sisters turn into a cowardly lion, a wicked witch from Oz, and a playing card from Wonderland. We met a wizard, but he wasn’t exactly the one from the Emerald City . . . but I guess that counts anyway. So I predict we either meet or turn into someone from Wonderland.”

  “You don’t think one of us turns into the Queen of Hearts, do you?” asked BreeZee. “She sounds like a monster.”

  Leave it to the ridiculously smart Sylvia to enlighten her sister. “Actually, the only true blue monster was the Jabberwocky from Wonderland. And it wasn’t even part of the story . . . just part of a poem in the story.”

  “What kind of monster?”

  “Um . . . um . . . uh-oh.”

  Egg was trying to remember what her friend was referring to. Then it hit her. “Uh-oh”.

  “You, too. What’s with the uh-ohs?” Bree had no way of knowing that the monster was part dragon.

  Before they could answer, a sudden commotion made them turn towards Bl’azzz.

  "Beware the Jabberwocky, my sisters . . . The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

  “Ohhhhh, Bl’azzz.”

  The jabberwocky, formally known as Bl’azzz, lunged at Egg . . . her big mouth opening to show impressively large, razor-sharp teeth. Surprised by the attack, the girl just managed to jump back as the monster’s jaw snapped closed.

  “Hey, you giant gas bag, don’t do that.”

  She did it again.

  “How the heck are we going to stop her?”

  “Why are you asking me? I’m just your Feminion, not a magician.”

  “Lucky for you, I am.”

  By now, the girls were so used to hearing voices ou
t of nowhere that they didn’t even jump.

  But they did turn around to see someone not totally unexpected. It was Mobius. However, this one was dressed like a magician and his skin was a different color than normal. What was a little disturbing was that his head and face were twisted. It made an ugly man look even uglier.

  “Hey, Mo,” said Egg as if she was greeting an old friend.

  “Shall I rid you of this creature?”

  “That would be nice. Just don’t hurt her.”

  “Perish the thought . . . and I perish thee, you foul and loathsome monster. I huff and I puff and I blow you away,” and he took a deep breath and did just that. Bl’azzz who wasn’t Bl’azzz flew off into the darkness, like a leaf in a windstorm, and was soon lost from sight.

  And, yes, the real Bl’azzz did as her sisters before her had done. She faded away to be replaced by a replica. Unconscious, she materialized inside a pod like the others.

  “Thanks,” said Egg. “And who are you supposed to be?”

  “I am Merlin the Magician, of course.”

  “Merlin . . . hey, that’s pretty cool.”

  “Which story is he from?” asked BreeZee. “Oz or Wonderland?”

  Syl explained, “Neither. He’s a friend of King Arthur – a story about a sword called Excalibur and the Knights of the Round Table.” The explanation was getting complicated so she stopped and said, “That’s not really important. Merlin, though, was a powerful magician . . . think wizard . . . who helps the good guys.”

  “How weird is it that the computer made our arch-enemy a friend?”

  “I’d rather have him as a good guy than his normal, evil self,” answered Egg. Turning to the man in question, she asked, “So, what else can you do for us?”

  “What would you have me do?”

  “Um . . . help us get to the Emerald City, for one.”

  “I have never heard of such a place.”

  “You haven’t?”

  “Egg, that’s not the correct name in this dream” reminded Syl.

  “Oh, right.” Turning back to the Magician, she said, “I meant the Metropolis of the Crystalline Edifice.”

  “Ah, MeCryEd . . . As it happens, I was on my way there when I came across you three ladies in distress. I would be pleased to escort you.”

  “Hang on a second. What’s me-cried?”

  “Most strange that you are unfamiliar with such a common term. Me is short for Metropolis. Cry is the abbreviation for Crystalline and Ed . . . “

  Egg cut him off. “For Edifice. Got it.”

  “We can talk on the way. As it is, I’m late, very late, for an extremely important date. No time to stand and linger, for I am the royal bringer . . . and the Queen is eager to decide your fate.”

  “Say what?”

  “Fiddlesticks”. Egg looked at her friend. “He’s working for her.”

  “Yeah, I got that, too.”

  “Shouldn’t we run or something?” asked Bree.

  “I’m guessing that’s not going to help.” She turned back to Mo the magician and asked, “Am I right or am I right?”

  “You are Egg of Earth . . . in the end you are always right, are you not?”

  “Not so much.”

  “Will you come peacefully or must I restrain you?”

  “Hmmm . . . let me think,” and she stroked her chin like she was deep in thought. “You know, we really shouldn’t make this too easy for you. Tell you what; give me a minute to talk it over with my friends. Maybe they can convince me to do it your way. Okay?”

  “One minute . . . not a second more.”

  Egg moved a few yards away and the other two followed her.

  “If he’s really a magician,” said Syl “there’s no way we can escape a magic spell.”

  “So if running isn’t an option,” added the Wind’dancer, “you must have something else in mind.”

  “Yeah . . . but it’s a long shot. This is supposed to be a contest but we have nothing to fight off a wizard’s spell. So there must be something here that we either missed or could use. Maybe a someone.”

  “Like who?” asked Bree.

  They went quiet for a few seconds then Sylvia’s face lit up. “The clown.”

  “Who?”

  “The clown on the tombstone that we saw when we started out. The first inscription was a warning to us but the second one . . . that might have been our clue.”

  “I don’t remember what it said.”

  “Um . . . hang on . . . it was, oh yeah . . . it was ‘the best magic is a good laugh but not all laughs are magic.”

  “Wow,” said Bree, “that’s a bit of a stretch. But, I think it’s brilliant.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Now, do you have any idea how we would call him? Do we just say ‘Hey Clown, help?”

  “I still don’t get it. Why would we want a clown? Even if we had one, why would he want to help us?” Egg inquired of her friend.

  Before the girl could answer (assuming that she had one), you’ll never guess what fell from the night sky?

  Nope, you’re wrong. It was a hat.

  “Good grief,” bellowed the Magician.

  The girls looked from the hat to ‘Merlin-who-looked-like-Mobius’.

  “Don’t touch it,” he yelled.

  So, naturally, Egg swooped down and picked it up. When it got to eye level, something a bit unusual happened. A clown fell out of the hat (though the hat stayed attached to his head).

  “And why not a clown?” said the newly arrived clown. It was definitely the same face as the one on the tombstone. How weird.

  “What the heck,” was the best Egg could come up with.

  “I wish you hadn’t done that,” the Magician said to the girl. Turning to the new arrival he sighed with a flourish “Ah, the Japing Jester . . . how nauseatingly unpleasant to see you again.”

  Instead of responding to the nasty man, the clown turned to Egg and said, “I’ll help because I owe you one, kid.”

  “One what?”

  “You know . . . when you barfed and . . . and . . .,” he looked embarrassed, which is not easy to do when you’re a clown in a top hat. “That other thing you did.”

  Bree leaned over and whispered, “I think he means when you wet yourself.”

  “Again . . . I got it.” Turning to the clown, she asked “Can you really get rid of him” and she pointed to the Magician.

  “Easy-peasy.”

  “Really” said the ugly magician. “What did you intend to do . . . scare me senseless with that grotesque face of yours?”

  Egg had to agree. “That’s a good question . . . um . . . what’s your name, by the way?”

  “Zeke.”

  “NO!” she cried in horror while her two friends went hysterical.

  “You never mentioned he was so cute,” teased BreeZee.

  “She does know how to pick them,” chimed Sylvia.

  “Hey, Feminion, don’t forget your boyfriend is Zeke’s identical twin.”

  “Oops.”

  “So, Z . . .” she just couldn’t say his full name “. . . what did you have in mind?”

  “Yes, Zeke . . . what did you have in mind? How does a jester best a magician, I wonder?” wondered the magician.

  “The usual way.”

  “Which is?”

  “I make you laugh until you go weak in the knees.”

  Egg rolled her eyes. “Oh my gosh. You’ve got to be kidding me?”

  “Actual, it’s him I’ve got to be kidding.”

  “Good grief.”

  “Enough of this nonsense. It is time that we go . . . and time for you to disappear,” and Mo the Magician pulled out a wand. He started to recite a spell . . . “Hocus-Pocus Pocahontas, let this witless fool be gone. I cast you out, go far from sight, no more to be seen this darkest night,” and he brought his wand up and started to point and shake it at Zeke.

  The clown laughed and said (rather hurriedly), “I challenge you to a contest of wits.”r />
  The Magician’s hand froze. “Oh, please,” he responded in disgust.

  “What’s going on?” Egg asked.

  “A challenge must always be answered, as the Hameggattic Sisters well know,” replied the Magician. Kudos to the very sophisticated computer for incorporating that trait into the simulation.

  Chapter 2 – No Clowning Around

  “So how does this work exactly?” asked Egg.

  “Quite simple, really. We ask riddles of one another until someone is stumped. At that point, the game is ended and the winner names his prize. As it happens, I have always disliked the Clown’s dreadful face. When I win, I shall cast a spell and do this world a favor by rearranging that annoying visage into something more pleasing.”

  Egg stole a glance at her two sisters. It was obvious that none of them had any faith that this Zeke could best the Magician.

  “Since you posed the challenge, you may go first,” Mobius said to the Clown.

  “I know the rules, you big buffoon. Now, let me think,” and for some reason that wasn’t obvious, he stuck a finger into each of his ears. Egg’s mouth dropped opened, Sylvia covered hers so she wouldn’t laugh out loud and Bree just stared wide-eyed.

  After about a half minute, the Magician became impatient. “We haven’t got all night, Jester.”

  With fingers in his ears, Zeke couldn’t hear the complaint. But, a few seconds later, he removed them, looked at the Magician and said, “I claim the right to use one of my life lines.”

  “Oh my gosh . . . you’re killing me, Jester,” complained the Magician using two of Egg’s favorite lines. “Go ahead, but be quick about it.”

  Zeke put his hands to the side of his face – pinky pointed to his mouth, thumb to his ear as if he was holding a phone. “Ring. Ring. Ring.”

  “What’s he doing?” asked Bree who had never seen a phone.

  “Calling a friend, I guess,” answered Egg referring to an old TV game show.