A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

by J. L. Beck

For someone to have that kind of hold over someone else’s emotions showed how much power they had over you. It was clear as day he had that type of power over me. I showered and dressed while he made breakfast, and as I braided my hair, my nose caught a whiff of coffee in the air. And was that bacon?

  Once I was finished with my hair, I allowed the smell to guide me into the kitchen. As I closed in on Jared, I couldn’t remove my eyes from his body. His dark hair was a mess all over his head and his attention was focused on cooking breakfast.

  His black shirt clung to his body, and for the first time in my life, I was jealous of another person’s shirt. Especially his. It got to rub against him, cling to his muscles, his abs, and his skin.

  “Morning,” he said gruffly, pulling me from my ogling stare.

  “Morning,” I replied, feeling as if I had been caught doing something wrong as I took a seat at the table. Not that staring was wrong—one couldn’t help it when someone that good looking was right in front of you. More so the thoughts that were swirling around inside of my head when I was staring at him.

  He shot me a smile, relating my thoughts to his as he placed a plate of food in front of me. I smiled back at him, digging into my food right away. Anything to keep my mouth from running.

  “Were going to the gun range today. I found some old lights down in the basement, so when we get home, I’ll set them up for you.” Food caught in my throat and I almost gasped for air. Did he just say gun range?

  “Gun range?” I asked in confusion. He shot me an evil smile, one that should’ve scared me. Instead, it caused my blood to sing loudly and my heartbeat to pound in my ears.

  “Don’t you remember what I told you last night? I want to teach you how to shoot a gun. Not only is it important for a woman to know how to do so, but it’s important to be able to protect yourself in general. Especially in a case where your attacker may be able to out power you. Having and knowing how to use a gun correctly could ultimately save your life.”

  He wanted to put the power back in my hands. I told myself day in and day out that I wasn’t a victim, but a survivor. Since being rescued, it was all I had been doing. Surviving. I wasn’t really living because I was afraid of what was lurking on the other side of the door. I needed to move forward. But how could someone move forward in their life when they were afraid of change, of people or simply the dark?

  “I….” I wasn’t sure what I had wanted to say. I couldn’t tell him no because, even if guns scared me, they had protected me back when those FBI agents swooped in and saved us. For every good thing, there was an evil one to everything in my life.

  He eyed me hesitantly before sliding off his chair and coming to stand next to me. “I know it’s scary, and that everything in your life is scary right now, but I can’t allow you to stay here and not know how to protect yourself. If you don't do it for yourself, then at least do it for me… Because if something ever happened to you, and I knew there was something that I could’ve done, I would never forgive myself.” As my eyes met his, I felt the sentiment in his words and knew they were true.

  I would be the reason for his downfall, and instead of bringing him back from the darkness, I would be sending him deeper into it. I needed to give him this peace of mind. I nodded my head, signaling I would go, even if it were just for him.

  Silence consumed both of us as we cleaned the dishes from breakfast. Once done, I went back into my room and slipped my boots on as Jared grabbed the keys.

  I followed him out into the garage, all the while watching him pull his leather jacket on. This was the one place in the house I had never been before, I thought as I took in the two cars parked side by side. I panicked as he headed for the bike that was off to the left. I would never in a million years get on that thing.

  “We aren’t taking that, are we?” I asked, looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

  “Oh, yes, we are, Isabella,” he said grinning as if he fed off my terror. I stopped dead in my tracks just short of the bike. It was black and sleek, and I wondered if it sparkled in the sunlight.

  “Are you scared?” I could feel his breath on my neck as he reached around me to start it. My body reacted to his voice and the sound of the motor roaring to life. Terror consumed me, but underneath it was curiosity. A need to know if it would vibrate under my thighs and how my body would feel wrapped around his as the wind blew through my hair and against my skin. Would it be like flying?

  He placed his hands on my hips, skimming his fingers over my skin causing me to bite my lip in reaction. God, I had never wanted to moan out in pleasure so much in my life.

  “I promise I’ll go nice and slow….” His voice was sex on a stick as he lightly lifted me from my feet, placing me on the back of his bike.

  Pulling my hair back, I allowed him to place a helmet on my head and then he was sliding in front of me causing our bodies to glide against one another’s. The friction alone caused a spark, a flame of fire to ignite between the two of us.

  “Hold onto me, Izzy baby,” he yelled as he revved the engine his voice being drowned out by the noise. Doing as he said I gripped onto him, my hands sliding underneath his jacket and onto his stomach. The second my fingers made contact with his chiseled abs was the second I felt like I would die a happy woman. Lord, please help me.

  My chest collided with his back as he pulled out of the garage. As soon as the garage door came down, he pulled away from the house like a bullet flying out of the barrel of a gun. The air whipped across my exposed skin in a rush. I had never felt so much freedom in my entire life. Our bodies clashed with the momentum of the bike.

  I could feel my body being lifted as the power from the engine pushed us forward. I gripped onto Jared like a lifeline, afraid if I didn’t, the wind would carry me away. My chest filled with air as we took a sharp turn out onto the highway. My nails dug into his skin at the unexpected movement, and I swear I could hear him groan.

  My thighs clung to his in a manner that was doing crazy things to my head. Every time we sped up, those crazy thoughts just grew wilder.

  By the time we made it to the gun range, my whole body was warm all over. The second he parked, I unglued myself from him and got off the bike, not knowing if I would attack him right here, right now. Get a grip, Isabella.

  I pulled the helmet off my head and handed it to him, expecting him to take it. What I didn’t expect was for him to reach out and brush back the loose strands of hair that had escaped from behind my ear. He had a way with his touch—each caress of his fingers against my skin or hair made me feel that much more engulfed in him.

  “You’re beautiful.” The words slipped from his mouth with ease as if he had thought it over a thousand times. From the look on his face, it was apparent that even he wasn’t aware he was saying such things until they were already out. His admission was truthful and full of emotions I had never seen before.

  “Thank you,” I offered, unsure what else I should say to him. I couldn’t just say you’re beautiful, too. Or could I?

  Securing my hand in his, he pulled me toward the door of the building. It looked like an abandoned warehouse. The sidings were brown, and there was a giant glass door mirroring my reflection in front of us with a tiny overhead hanger to shield those entering in from the rain.

  I watched as Jared pulled out a key card, slipping it into the door to gain entry. For a brief moment, I wondered why he had such a card and then I took in my surroundings. I wanted to panic, to explode. I couldn’t do this. I was trapped inside with no way out. Jared must’ve felt a change in my demeanor because he turned around, cupping my cheek in one of his hands.

  “Don’t think. Don’t allow your fears to rule you.” His voice calmed me, putting me into what felt like a trance as I allowed him to guide me through a pair of doors and into an open room that looked like a waiting room with tables and chairs placed everywhere.

  With little effort, he pulled me across the room, sliding his card once again to gain access to the ne
xt set of doors. Once inside, we entered a large room that was far bigger than the other one we had been in only moments ago. I took in the entire room within a couple of seconds, my eyes zeroing in on the far wall that was lined with guns of all types and sizes.

  Anxiety formed in me and I felt myself backing up toward the door. Jared saw the worry within me and in an instant took a step toward me.

  “Guns are used to protect you. Yes, they have the potential to hurt you but so does anything in life.” Everything he said held truth, but the panic inside of me was constantly rising. I had heard gunshots in the trades. I had heard screams and pleas for mercy. When I thought of guns, I thought of what they could bring. Death.

  “I don’t want to do this, Jared. It reminds me too much of them...” Dread filled my voice as I took another step back. Jared’s arms wrapped around me in an instant, his fingers splaying across my back causing an eruption of emotions to form within me.

  “You’re bigger than your biggest fears.” He soothed. I placed my head against his chest, focusing on the beat of his heart. Was he right? Could I get over my own fears? Before I could answer my own question, Jared’s voice pulled me back to the here and now.

  “Your fears are as big as you allow them to be. If you make them the size of a house, then they will be huge forever, and you’ll always have one hell of a time getting over them. But if you make them the size of a small stone, then you can easily overcome them.”

  He gripped my chin forcing me to look up into his eyes and nowhere else. It was in those eyes that I saw someone who had greater fears than I ever did. Someone who was on a path of destruction. In the depths of those beautiful brown eyes, I saw a person more lost than I ever was, and I wanted to reach right inside of him, pull him out, and offer him everything he needed even if it left me without anything.

  “Ready?” he asked pulling me from my thoughts. Instead of doing that, I nodded my head yes, allowing him to bring me over to the table covered with guns.

  “What is this place?” I questioned curiously, eyeing one of the guns.

  “It’s a shooting range, one that Agent King had made for him and his team. They come here and train, shooting practice basically, every once in a while. I have free range to use it whenever, so here we are.” His voice was placid as he picked up a gun, one that had caught my eye. It was small, sleek, and black, and I wondered how such a small weapon could take someone’s life.

  “Really? That’s pretty cool. I didn’t know that agents could build their own shooting ranges. I mean, it’s not like I know a lot of things, but...” God, I sounded so fucking stupid. Jared said nothing, his eyes still glued on the gun he had plucked off the table as I trailed off.

  “Let’s try this one out. It’s small, lightweight, and its accuracy is right on when it comes to hitting its target.” With the gun still in his hand, he guided me over to something that looked like a booth. Setting the gun down, he grabbed a pair of earmuffs and what looked like goggles for your eyes, placing them down in front of us.

  “Is this going to be hard to shoot?” I asked as my face scrunched up in confusion. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing and I hated it. I hated the unknown because it reminded me of the past, of the fact that at one point in time, I didn’t know where I would end up.

  “No, it’s pretty easy. The black part right here…” He pointed toward the part of the gun that he held against his palm, “holds your ammunition. It’s called a magazine.” With the flick of his finger, he discharged what he called the magazine, causing some of the ammunition to release from the bottom.

  Then as fast as he had discharged it, he slipped it back in, a loud click filling the room. From there, he showed me the components of the gun, how to check if it’s loaded, and how to turn the safety on and off. I could feel the sweat on my palms as he placed the goggles on my head and the earmuffs onto my ears, leaving one ear slightly uncovered. My stomach filled with butterflies instantly as he placed me in front of him.

  Taking my hand, he placed it against the gun forcing me to grip it, his hand covering my own. I could feel my heartbeat pulsing as his body became flush with mine.

  “Safety off.” Jared’s voice came out calm yet strong and with the flick of my finger, the safety came off. My arms wobbled nervously as I stared at the target against the wall. Would I even hit it? Was there really a reason to learn how to shoot a gun? When would I ever shoot someone? Questions filled my head, spiking my nervousness.

  I can’t do this I told myself, my palms still sweating profusely almost causing me to lose my grip.

  “Aim,” he whispered in my ear. We were so close it was as if we were no longer two bodies but one as I could feel his pulse through his shirt.

  “Breathe.” I could feel my vision blurring, my breaths coming in as heavy pants. “Breathe slowly and shoot,” I could hear him say to me, and when my breaths finally evened out, his finger pressed against my own gently on the trigger.

  “Fire steady.” With stealth and precision, he forced my finger against the trigger. A loud muffled bang echoed around me vibrating through my body and filling the room. My breathing was harsh as the bullet left the barrel, flying toward the target on the other side of the room. My arms were shaking like a leaf in the wind as I watched the bullet penetrate the paper.

  We continued to stay standing as we were, and for what reasons, I didn’t understand. All I knew was when the bullet came out of the barrel I had felt something take over. I felt like the control was in my hands, as if I controlled my life.

  “Thank you,” I whispered unto him and it was true, I was more than thankful.

  For the first time in my life, I was grateful for a gun, for protection, but most of all, for Jared.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Sir,” Antonio’s annoying voice sounded in my ears. I lifted my eyes to his face. I clenched my fists together telling myself it would do me no good to beat his head against the side of the car. Antonio was my nephew. I took him in as a child, teaching him everything he needed to know about the family business.

  “What?” I simply stated my tone snide. It had been days since we had any contact with the sellers. I was furious they hadn’t fought harder against the FBI. Instead, they allowed her to get away, knowing I had paid a quarter of a million to get her. Not knowing where she was at was driving me insane. She could be anywhere, with anyone. She didn’t belong to them. She belonged to me.

  “Adam thinks he may have confirmation of a location.” I wanted to growl, punch something, even spill blood if need be. He thinks? He better hope it’s not just an assumption. Adam was my undercover spy, the man who could slip under the radar without being noticed by anyone.

  “Does he now? Tell him to call me. I need to talk to him about said confirmation and be sure to warn him for me. If he is wrong, I will be forced to remove another finger from his hand.” I kept my voice cool. I refused to let the men that worked for me know the waiting game was getting the best of me.

  But she is yours.

  Those words ran through my mind daily, over and over again reminding me once again something promised to me had slipped right through my fingers.

  “Will do, sir,” was Antonio’s response.

  I shifted my attention to the men around me. They were getting ready to go out and do another manhunt for the girl. They all knew better than to question me about anything, let alone what the girl’s worth was to me. I had all my best men on this, looking for what was mine, and they wouldn’t sleep until I knew where she laid her head at night.

  “It’s been weeks since I had a taste of good pussy. Monroe County ain’t got shit for women.” Oliver spoke to Stephen as if he were annoyed that he had to be here as if it was my fault he hadn’t found any prime pussy. I should’ve known when I took these two men on they would be nothing but trouble. Back home in Russia they were notorious bad boys.

  “Excuse me…” My voice caused all conversations to heed as I turned and made my way over to Oliver. I could feel h
im quivering beneath me, and I hadn’t even spoken his name. As he should be quivering because I was more than his boss. I was his reason for breathing, his reason for living. Without me, he would be nothing. He owed me for everything he had, and he would worship the fucking ground I walked on until he died.

  “Sir, I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way…” I cut him off with a slap to the face. My eyes drifted over the red mark on his face. I loved Oliver like one would love their own child, but I refused to allow him to speak in such a manner in front of me.

  “Remember why you’re here, son. What it is that you’re doing for me. That’s what’s important, yeah? Not a good taste of pussy. Remember without a reason, without a placement you’re good as dead. Do you understand me?” I commanded him to answer me, my voice stern.

  He murmured a yes into the air as I turned to face the rest of my men. “All of you remember that unless you dare go up against me.” I was losing my cool, all over this girl that I would make a woman. My woman.

  Thoughts of her continued to drift through my mind, forcing the moment she had been promised to me to come forth as bright as the day before me.

  “The deal has been settled. Upon her twenty-first birthday, she will be presented to you as a gift, her virginity intact,” Sal announced with a slap on my back. I had never understood why Sal was involved in this business. He had a lovely bride and one-year-old daughter. He was a good-looking man, who worked out and ate healthily. He was exactly the opposite of what you would expect from someone in this business.

  “You promise she is to be mine? That she is indeed pure and true?” I questioned further, not fully believing him. Sal had a less than stellar track record. Men had purchased from him before only to find out later on that their merchandise was not up to par.

  He smiled. “Would I sell you anything less than perfection?”

  My eyes narrowed on him. I had been fooled once by a man that sold me a bride. She was beautiful, elegant, and everything I had ever wanted in a woman, but she was broken, fractured straight down the middle, and she was far from untouched. I wouldn’t go down this road again and try to make something out of nothing. My new bride—she would be everything I was promised or I would take her life.