Fire In His Eyes

by Nightingale, MJ

  The radio show was done at nine and that song came on the radio. The song by Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved, a song that had played while Victor and I had danced once, and it was perfect. It was another sign to me that I would be loved by the greatest man that had ever walked into my life. I hummed along the whole way and continued to sing the melody when the song was long over.

  I made the last few turns into Tropicana Field, the forum in St. Petersburg where the Devil Rays played baseball. I saw from the parking lot where registration was being held for the 5K, and then parked my car. It took a while to get to the front of the line as I hadn’t been out here earlier, but I still made it to the front of the line by ten thirty. I talked with some of the other racers while waiting my turn to fill out my registration packet and pay my registration fee.

  Once that was done, I had a little more than an hour before the race so I did some stretching and kept sipping from my water bottle to be sure to I stayed nice and hydrated. I chatted with some of the other racers and reviewed the map that showed the course we were to follow. I wasn’t all that familiar with St. Pete, but my plan was to just follow the person in front of me until I passed them, and then do it again with the next person, and so on. I wasn’t in it to win it. Not my first time out by far. But I did want to have a good time, and possibly enter another race, or this one next year and beat my own time.

  There were a lot of racers, both young and old alike, all women as this was an annual race being sponsored by the National Organization for Women and it was their annual United Against Violence run. It was probably one of the reasons Victor had told me about this race and encouraged me to do it. It warmed me to know that he had probably researched the various races, and had picked it because it would mean a lot to me. That fact had just occurred to me now, and made me love him even more.

  At about eleven thirty they made the announcement that there were over nine thousand racers this year, and they had beaten last year’s registration by over six hundred people. That meant they raised over ninety thousand dollars in registration alone. The crowd cheered loudly, and that did not even count the money they made on selling t-shirts, banners, water, calendars and other souvenirs people could buy to help support this great cause. It made me happy to know that this was all going to a great cause.

  You could feel the excitement in the crowd as the race drew nearer. I soaked it in. I was excited, too, and not just for the race. There were all kinds of supporters there to root the woman in their family on. Knowing that Victor had picked this race made me feel like he was here rooting me on, as well. I didn’t feel alone.

  As I started to make my way to the starting positions, I read some of the signs and banners people held; “Go Mom!”, “Women Unite NOW”, “End the violence”, “Grandma, leave them in the dust” which made me laugh, and “Tina and Susie, WE LOVE You”. It was nice to see all the support people were giving one another. I put on the shirt I had been carrying; it was one of Victor’s t-shirts. The one that he had given me in Ft. Lauderdale to wear the first night we were there. I grabbed a hand full of the shirt and brought it to my nose and I inhaled. I could still smell him in it, even though I had worn it a few times. I put my race belt on over it that showed the number I had been assigned for the race, and tied a small knot in the shirt to tighten it around my hips.

  At eleven forty five they called all the racers into the starting area and to take their positions. They also asked the crowd to leave the area and to go behind the cordoned off ropes. I had started making my way there ahead of many others so I found myself in a good position for starting. We would be ending here, as well. I soaked it all in as people hugged all around me, and wished their loved ones luck. Even with just a few minutes until the start of the race, Victor was on my mind. He would have been proud of me for doing this. My thoughts were on him so much that I even imagined I saw him in the crowd just as the starting pistol cracked.

  It startled me at first, and the people around me pushed past, but I recollected myself and began to run. I wanted a good time, but I had to break out of this pack which was no easy task with a group this large. It probably took me a full half mile to three quarters of mile before I could really begin to move, and I hit it with all I had. I followed the person in front of me just as I had planned, until I passed them; then I chose another person far up ahead to follow until I passed them, too. I kept repeating that pattern until I could see the finish line up ahead.

  I really pushed myself that last quarter mile. I could barely make out the LED display showing your place and time. It was still in double digits and I was thrilled. The top one hundred would be fantastic. I flew past eight people in those last two hundred yards, and came in 46th place. My time was twenty minutes and nine seconds. That was fantastic. I had run more than seven miles an hour.

  It took me a while to slow once I crossed that finish line and by the time I was at a slow jog that is when I saw him. Victor! I halted completely and just stared. He was holding a sign that said, “I choose you!” and he held a single red rose in his other hand. I started walking again, and then I was running. I flew into his arms.

  As my body hit his, he wrapped his arms around me, and I wrapped my legs around him both of us clutching each other as if our lives depended on it.

  “Monica, Mi Cara, my heart, I love you like no one else. I have for a very long time and I want you to know that,” he said in my ear.

  “You, don’t have to say any . . .” I began to say. I was crying.

  “No, I do. You deserve to hear it and so much more.” His eyes lowered to my lips and he kissed me. It was perfect. As more racers were coming in and their family to congratulate them, Victor carried me off side. He set me down and put both hands on my face holding me so that I could see into those ice blue eyes, and he gazed into mine. I could see the love there. He spoke. “Monica, the morning after we made love that very first time, I knew you were not like anyone else I had ever met before. I knew you were dangerous.”

  “Me, dangerous . . .” I laughed. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

  “Shh, please let me get this out,” he interrupted. “I have a lot I have to say, and I want to do it right.”

  I looked at him and nodded.

  He continued. “Yes, dangerous, Monica. I was in a bad place then, but those things I said to you, the way I spoke to you, treated you, it was meant to scare you away. I had a plan to get my wife back, and put my family back together, but I knew even then that with you in my life, I would soon not want it. I knew you would be perfect. It scared the hell out of me. The fact that I could know that about someone I had just met. That I could feel like this about someone I had just met. For weeks, I kept you at arm’s length, not letting you in, not letting you see the real me. But, you didn’t run away. When we went to Ft. Lauderdale, I knew you loved me then. What you did for me, what we did, and you stayed and you were perfect. That weekend was the best weekend of my life. And, it wasn’t about the sex, though that was amazing. It was about you, and how I felt when I was with you, at the beach, at the restaurant, you chasing me on the beach. I knew I loved you that day on that bench eating that ice cream. That is the exact moment that I knew I was so very much in love with you.” There were tears is his eyes.

  He took a breath and kissed me softly on the lips showing me just how much he loved me, and continued when he pulled away. “I didn’t think about Julianna at all that weekend. I was lost in you.” His expression was pained. “But when we got back from Ft. Lauderdale, reality set in. I had my daughter, and then my efforts were all for her. I became so fixated on what I thought she needed. Then you went away, and how I missed you. It was all so confusing. I didn’t tell you this, but each night I yearned for you.” He winced and turned his face away for a moment and then back, “I kept playing it cool, kept you at arm’s length. I was a fool.” He kissed the tip of my nose, each of my eyes as I stared at him in wonder and awe.

  He wasn’t done. He had a lot more to say, and I wa
nted him to let it all out. I wanted to give him the chance to finally unburden his soul so we could begin again. “When we broke up that first time, it was painful, it hurt so damn much. When I thought of you, it was like I couldn’t breathe. I threw myself into over drive at the gym trying to forget. I went out with the guys once, and they tried to get me to flirt with other girls. I punched Michael in the face and stormed out.” He shook his head at that showing how disappointed he was himself and how he had treated a friend. “He forgave me, of course, he was only trying to help me get over you, but I didn’t want to get over you, ever.” He paused to kiss me again on the lips, on the cheek, to caress my cheek with his own, ensuring I was still there, still listening, wanting to show me how much he loved me while he explained.

  He smiled with that crooked grin that revealed one dimple and continued. “When I saw you at Universal Studios, it was a sign to me. You were so beautiful, and I saw how frail you looked. It scared me to death. I had to reach out, but I knew I had hurt you. I wanted to give you hope, both of us. I still had this idea that we could be together until Julianna came around. That you would accept more time with me for maybe forever. It was unfair, but we were both in so much pain. But it was really because I couldn’t resist you, and didn’t know how I could give you up. I even thought that if Julianna did take me back, there might be some way we could still see each other now and then. But I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I was a mess.” I stroked his back when he paused to wipe the tears from his face. I reached up on my tip toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. He accepted it, returned it, and then pulled back to look into my eyes again.

  He took another deep breath and went on. “We began to communicate on the answering machine, and then talk, and it was like I could breathe again.” He smiled and then his look grew grim. “Then there was Joe’s retirement party. I saw you with my daughter and wished that we had a child together. But, I didn’t want to give you false hope just yet. I had counseling for one more month. I was determined to see it through, so that if my daughter ever blamed me for the divorce, I could honestly say I gave it all my effort to try to regain her mother’s love, for her, for Stacey. Not for Julianna, but for her. That was my finish line. It was my last goal.”

  His face contorted into one of pain, and anger. “But when that guy touched you, I saw red. I saw what I could lose, and the thought of any man ever having you, touching you the way I’ve touched you, I couldn’t stand it. Monica, I wanted to murder him, I mean that. If Michael hadn’t stopped me, I don’t know where we would be right now. In my heart you were mine, and only mine. I would kill any man that took what was mine. Monica, you have been mine since the day we met.”

  His face was still angry. Fierce. I reached up to kiss him again, letting him know I was his. I told him, “I’m yours, Victor. There is only you.”

  He nodded and then gruffly repeated, “Mine!” He shook it off, then, the anger. I saw the tension leave his body. “Mine. Baby, I love you so much.” His lips crushed mine in a soul searching kiss that bonded us together for minutes and eternity. Huskily, he rasped against my face, and told me the words I needed to hear more than anything, “I don’t need two more weeks. I need you. I choose you!” We kissed again, and it was like rapture. The passion soared between us, and we were on fire. I could feel the burn start in my veins, and I knew he felt it to, he was panting, and his arousal so evident matched my own.

  Because the groups coming in to meet the racers was getting even more crowded, we were getting closed in on again, but he still had more to tell me. When the kiss ended because we had been jostled, he laughed and went on. “After Kat told me about your call this morning, it was like a light bulb had gone off. It was you. You, through your selflessness, had shown me the way. You, who had already given me your heart, your love, your passion, were willing to sacrifice your pride for mine. You were willing to sacrifice your happiness, on the chance for my daughter’s happiness, it spoke volumes. No one has loved me the way you do. Not ever, no one, and you deserved no less. I called Julianna this morning and I told her I didn’t need more counseling, she could have the divorce. I told her I met someone who I loved, who I had been pushing away for Stacey’ sake.” He shook his head. “She said she knew. I don’t know how, I didn’t ask, but she had known that my pride had kept me from agreeing to the divorce.” I smiled at him. I saw his relief.

  “So next, I drove to my mother’s house and told her everything. I was worried she would be upset, angry. Her faith is so important to her, to me. But, she was happy for me. She knows how miserable I was. She knew Julianna and I had our issues, but never once spoke badly of her because she felt it wasn’t her place. I told her about you, about us. She wants to meet you. She cried and said when you talk of this Monica, you have love in your eyes again. She said go get her, and bring her to me. I must meet her, the woman that puts life and love in your eyes. She gave me this to give to you. It was hers and my father’s, he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, a small box.

  I began to shake. Victor let me go, and got on one knee, right there in the parking lot, just beyond the finish line. He opened the box to show me a ring, a simple beautiful solitary ring. The crowd began to cheer around us, but we were oblivious to it all, and only had eyes for each other.

  “I was a fool for so long. Please forgive me. Love me just half as much as I love you and I will be a happy man. Monica, the one I choose is you. Mi Cara, will you marry me?” he breathed.

  I had been crying from the moment he had gotten on one knee. “Yes, Victor. Oh yes. I will marry you.” He pulled me to him and hugged me around the waist, his head lying flat against my belly, and then I was kneeling in front of him and we kissed, sealing our fate, and tying our future to one another forever.

  Three months later . . .

  It was a cool February afternoon, and Victor and I stood hand in hand on Clearwater Beach watching as Stacey ran towards us with our dog, Snoopy, running around her. Stacey had named her, and the mutt loved her like no other.

  After Victor had proposed, we waited until Christmas, a full month, to tell Stacey about us, the engagement, and our plans to move in together. Victor had included me in their weekend outings so we could bond, keeping Tuesdays just with her. We had gotten closer, all of us. When we told her, she showed genuine happiness for her father and genuine happiness to have me in her family.

  Since Christmas, we had found an apartment together in Palm Harbor, so we would both be close to work and to our families. I had put my small little bungalow up for sale, and it had sold quickly giving us a nice little nest egg for when we decided to marry and buy a home together. Living together and seeing each other every day drew us closer. Every day, he told me he loved me and showed me in so many ways. He sent flowers to me at work, for no reason, left chocolate on my pillow at night, put notes in my lunch bag, and sent me texts at work telling me he was thinking of me. When I asked him about it, he kissed me on the nose, and told me he should have been doing those things all along, and wanted me to know every day how precious I was to him. I loved him, and my love for him grew every day. I showed him at night how much I loved him, and told him with words and actions how much he meant to me.

  Stacey had turned twelve just a few weeks ago, and Snoopy had been my gift to her. Stacey had never had a pet before, she had confided in me once, and when I asked Victor to allow me to do this for her, he readily agreed. Our apartment allowed one small animal, so we had selected a mixed breed basset hound from the animal shelter. When Stacey saw him, she ran into my arms and thanked me for giving her the best gift ever. She even kissed me on the cheek, and immediately claimed his name was Snoopy before she even knew it was, in fact, a boy.

  After the news had been shared with Julianna, she even allowed Snoopy to come over to her house on the weekends. So Snoopy spent the week with us, and every weekend with Stacey, one with us, and one with Stacey and her mom. I had even met Julianna, and she had been pleasant, wanting to mee
t me and know the woman who would be helping to raise her daughter. She accepted me, it seemed and even seemed happy to see Victor happy with me.

  Victor pulled me down to the sand, onto the blanket we had placed there, and we continued to watch Stacey throw sticks for Snoopy to fetch. Snoopy bounded after the sticks and raced them back to Stacey barking at her to do it again. Eventually, the tired duo made their way back to us, and Stacey plopped down on the blanket at our feet, Snoopy’s head immediately in her lap.

  “Tired kiddo?” Victor asked as his daughter sighed and leaned back onto her forearms.

  “Yes, a bit,” she stated, “But before we go, I wanted to ask you guys something.” She looked serious.

  Victor looked at me a little fearfully, and I shrugged my shoulders indicating I did not know what was on his daughter’s mind.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” he asked giving her his full attention.

  “I was wondering when you guys were going to get married,” she blurted out. “Mom, said the divorce was final this past week and that you might be planning on getting married.” She looked at me and then at her father. Victor looked to me. We had decided to not rush into a marriage, even though we both wanted to have that bond, that symbol of marriage that would tie us together for eternity, but we wanted Stacey to be ready for it. When Victor did not speak up at first, I decided to be candid with her.

  “We haven’t really set a date yet, Stacey. We love each other and we want to get married, but we wanted to give you time to get to know me better,” I stated honestly.

  “I know good people when I see it, Monica,” she gave me a dazzling smile, just like her fathers. “And you are good people. I don’t think you should wait. You make my dad so happy, and I love you for that.”