by Sandy James
Instead of smacking the guy’s hand away, Russ leveled a hard stare at him. He reminded himself that the best man was drunk and not in control of his actions, but if Russ didn’t get away soon, he wouldn’t be in control of his own, either. “Let. Go. Of. Me.”
With a snort, the guy let his hand fall away. “Pussy.”
Turning on his heel, Russ planned to head to the office to try to cool down. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t get into another fight, especially with a patron, no matter how obnoxious and insulting that patron was.
But his heart was pounding like a jackhammer in his chest and his ears were ringing. Every muscle was tense, and his vision began to tunnel.
He’d gotten only a few steps away when a mug went flying by his head, splashing beer on him before smashing against the wall.
That was all the provocation he was going to take. Russ rushed the best man, grabbed his shirt, and started walking him backward until he collided with the bar. “I should knock your lights out, you bastard.”
“Fuck you, you has-been.”
A strong hand took a hold of Russ’s fist as he cocked it back so he could break the best man’s nose. Shifting his anger to whoever was restraining him, Russ growled at Ethan standing there. “Let go.”
Instead of saying anything to Russ, Ethan shot a hard look at the groom. “Get your friend out of here. Now.”
“Not until I beat some manners into this asshole.” Russ tried to pull his hand free.
“You’re not hitting him.” Ethan’s voice was calm, considering the tension in the air. “Go to the office. I’ll meet you there.”
When the best man let out a snicker, Russ jerked against Ethan’s tight hold. Before he could cock his fist back to take a good punch, the groom grabbed his best man’s arm and pulled him away.
Russ would’ve followed if Ethan hadn’t put himself between him and the retreating bachelor party attendees. “Get outta my way, Ethan.”
“I’m not letting you beat that guy up.”
“He was begging for it!” Russ insisted, pointing at the door where the men were fleeing.
Anger flowed through him in heavy waves, and he flushed hot. As his light-headedness returned, he suddenly heard a rushing noise in his ears, so loud that it drowned out all other sounds. He couldn’t catch his breath. The harder he tried to draw in air, the less air he seemed to get, until he was panting like a hard-run dog.
Sparks of light began to dot his vision before it narrowed as though he were suddenly in a tunnel, drawing closer and closer.
And then the world faded to black.
Chapter Fifteen
The first thing Russ became aware of was the stale smell of beer. Then he realized that he was lying on the floor next to the bar, looking up at the worried faces of Ethan and three waitresses. “What the hell happened?”
“You passed out,” Ethan said. “I was just about to call 911.” He frowned. “Maybe I still should.”
“Don’t you dare,” Russ said, rubbing his hand over his face and trying to orient himself. His mind felt as though he’d had too much to drink. Everything was a fog. “I passed out?”
“Fainted dead away,” the blonde said, sounding concerned.
Fainted? “No way.”
“’Fraid so, my friend.” Ethan extended his hand. “Let’s get you off that dirty floor.”
“Slowly,” the waitress cautioned. “You don’t want him to faint again.”
“I didn’t faint!” An absurd thing to say considering he was letting his friend help him to his feet from where he had been lying on the floor. The stares and speculative chatter of the people surrounding him made his temper rise.
Thankfully, Ethan dismissed everyone with a few words and took Russ’s elbow. “Let’s go to the office.”
Jerking his arm away, Russ snapped, “I’m fine.”
“C’mon, Russ. We can talk in the office.”
He decided to follow Ethan because at least he could have a little bit of privacy to figure things out.
When they reached the office, Ethan let Russ enter first, then closed the door. “What happened?”
Russ flopped on the couch. “It wasn’t my fault. That fuckin’ guy picked a fight.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about now, although we’ll definitely speak about it later. Why did you faint?”
When Russ’s anger at Ethan’s choice of words began to brew, the same things that had happened before he’d passed out started all over again. His breath came in gasps as his heart slammed against his rib cage. Fighting the feeling, he replied, “I didn’t faint. Women faint.”
Ethan dismissed Russ’s words with a flip of his hand. “Fine, you passed out. It’s just semantics.”
Russ tried to figure out what had happened as his body slowly calmed. He’d never felt as bad as he had back in the bar, and he worried for a moment that something was physically wrong with him.
Ethan leaned back against the desk and folded his arms over his chest. “I should take you to the ER.”
“Hell with that.” If he showed up at the hospital and told Josie what happened, he’d not only be embarrassed, but she’d worry.
As he continued to calm down, Russ began to wonder if perhaps Ethan was right. If there was something wrong…
Like he needed one more fucking thing to worry about.
“I can run you over,” Ethan said. “Look, I don’t think anything’s wrong. But you did fai—um…pass out. Least you can do is make sure you didn’t hit your head or something.”
Russ’s hand rose to the back of his head and rubbed a knot forming there. He’d had his bell rung enough times that he knew this wasn’t a bad injury. “I’m fine.”
“Go. For me.”
“Ethan…”
Ethan gave him a frown. “Joslynn will have a fit if you don’t.”
Russ rolled his eyes, but Ethan was winning the argument. In all honesty, he was a little worried.
But all the rigmarole that went along with an ER visit was beyond his patience tonight.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Ethan began tapping at the screen.
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Joslynn.” The phone chimed a response. “She says they’re dead tonight and to bring you over.”
“I’m not up to all that paperwork,” Russ grumbled.
Ethan pecked at his screen again and was rewarded a few seconds later with a text chime. “She says she’ll look you over first. If everything’s fine, you won’t have to stay.” Another chime. “No need for paperwork that way.” Pushing away from the desk, Ethan put his phone back in his pocket. “C’mon, let’s go. I’ll drive.”
When rolling his eyes made him dizzy, Russ agreed with a grunt.
* * *
Joslynn had just finished charting her last patient when Russ walked through the ER double doors. She’d been on edge since Ethan texted. As the woman who cared for him, she was worried. That woman internally warred with the nurse practitioner, who had her suspicions about what happened.
But she needed more information.
Putting aside her tablet, she grabbed a pulse oximeter and went to meet him. “Hi, guys.” She gave Russ a good looking over, already beginning her assessment.
“Why don’t we head back to one of the rooms?” she suggested, resisting the urge to take Russ’s hand in hers.
“I thought you said no hospital nonsense,” Russ said, grumbling like an angry bear.
“I did. But I want to check a few things myself, okay? If everything looks fine, there will be no reason to do anything else.”
Instead of arguing, he complied and came to stand at her side.
She glanced to Ethan. “Are you staying?”
He nodded.
“Hopefully we’ll be back soon.”
As Ethan made himself comfortable in the empty waiting room, Joslynn held the ID card that always hung from her lab coat pocket up to the scanner. The doors to the treatment area opened. “Le
t’s see what’s up. Okay?”
“I’m fine, Josie.” At least he followed her, which meant he wanted answers too.
“You look fine, but indulge me so I won’t worry about you.”
That remark actually made his mouth twitch into a hesitant smile. “You’re worried about me?”
She wanted to reply with an emphatic, “Duh!” Instead, she said, “Of course I am.”
Even though all but one of the treatment rooms were empty, she led him past the first two halls and turned at the third. She entered the last room and shut the door after he joined her inside. “Hop up on the table for me.”
Russ took a seat on the gurney, looking like a child being forced to comply.
Clearing the oximeter, she said, “Please hold out your right hand.” When he did, she clipped it onto his index finger. Then she grabbed the blood pressure cuff. With practiced ease, she took his blood pressure and then let out a relaxed sigh. While it was slightly elevated, there was no danger. After putting away the cuff, she took off the oximeter and was relieved to see his oxygen level and pulse were both fine.
She set the oximeter aside and then slung her stethoscope back around her neck. “So what happened, Russ?”
“Not sure exactly.” He rubbed the back of his neck the way he always did when he was nervous. “There was this bachelor party…”
After waiting for him to expand, she finally realized he wasn’t going to. “And?”
“The best man was an asshole. I guess I lost my temper when he kept insulting me.”
“So you got in a fight.”
“No, not exactly.” His eyes found hers. “I didn’t hit him, okay?”
“Good.”
“I was…exchanging words with Ethan, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath.”
She could easily paint a picture of what had happened. The best man had probably gotten mouthy. Russ had come close to roughing him up. Ethan had stopped him. Russ had unloaded that anger on Ethan in response.
A sigh slipped out. She’d been so proud of Russ and how he was finally getting a grip on his stress and anxiety.
What had changed tonight?
Instead of psychoanalyzing him, Joslynn focused on the fainting spell. “You said you couldn’t catch your breath?”
He nodded.
“Did you have any other symptoms?”
He thought it over a moment. “Something wasn’t right with my eyes. My vision got blurry. And…narrow.”
“How long were you out?” she asked.
“Ethan said it wasn’t long. He didn’t even have a chance to call 911. Thank God.” His hand rose to the back of his head. “I think I hit my head when I went down.”
Joslynn went behind the gurney to check for any injury. There was a small swelling, but she didn’t think he had a concussion. Just to be sure, she checked his pupils and had him do a few motor skills exercises.
“So what do you think happened, Josie?”
The healer in her responded to the thread of fear in his voice. “I think you’re fine, Russ. I can’t be positive, but I think you had a panic attack.”
“A what?”
“An anxiety attack. I think the fight—”
“I didn’t fight,” he insisted.
“Okay, the near fight set it off.” Normally, she’d try to talk to the patient about the stress in his life and perhaps suggest a trip to the family physician if the stress was chronic. She might even discuss anxiety illnesses or the possible need for some pharmaceutical intervention. But she knew Russ wouldn’t listen to any of that.
So she took his hand. “You’re fine. I think the stress just got the better of you tonight. I guess I’ll have to try a few new weapons to help you cope.”
“I’m okay, then?”
Joslynn squeezed his hand. “Yes, you are.”
When he didn’t immediately hop off the gurney, she wondered if she might be able to figure out exactly what had set off the attack. “Any problems tonight? Other than the obnoxious bachelor party?”
Russ shrugged and glanced away.
Which meant there was something else.
The knowledge came in a flash, and she was a bit angry at herself for not seeing the connection sooner. “Did your mom call?”
His head snapped up. “What?”
“It’s just…when something happens with your father, you get…upset. What happened?”
He let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “He accidentally locked Mom in the basement. I had to go let her out.”
Thankful that there hadn’t been a major incident, Joslynn wrapped her arms around Russ, feeling the need to comfort him. She could only imagine how difficult it had to be for Russ to watch Baron slowly mentally deteriorate. She was happy to feel him slide off the gurney and put his arms around her waist.
Russ was changing her views of how relationships worked. Whenever she’d previously been faced with adversity, she’d handled it with independence and strength. Yet now she was nearly overwhelmed with the need to comfort Russ, and in turn, it seemed as though he needed whatever comfort she could offer.
The phone to the ER rang, and she eased back and pulled it from her pocket. “Give me a second.” She answered the call and then slid the phone back in her pocket. “I need to go.”
“So I’m okay?”
“You’re fine.”
“What do I need to do to keep it from happening again?” he asked.
“We need to get a little more serious about lowering your stress,” she replied. “I have some ideas.”
Chapter Sixteen
Just getting Russ to come to her beginner yoga class had been an ordeal. Joslynn finally had to promise him that if he didn’t like it after ten minutes, he could leave. Now the pressure was on for her to make him want to stay.
Ever since his panic attack two night ago, she’d been turning ideas around in her mind on how to help him. After the weeks they’d spent together, she’d been encouraged. He’d acted—and felt—better. More in control.
But one episode with his father and he’d tumbled right back into stress hell.
She couldn’t fix things for the father, but she could try to help the son.
Russ looked uncomfortable, arms folded over his chest as his gaze skipped from student to student. At least there were two other guys this evening. She hoped their presence would make him feel less awkward.
She handed him one of the extra rolled mats and pointed to a spot just to her right. Then she worked on getting herself ready to teach.
Heaven knew she needed a good stretch from the stiffness that had settled on her. Russ was to blame. He’d been right about having them wait to know each other before they’d made love. It had been better because of their strong feelings for each other. But he’d been correct about one other thing as well—now that they were intimate, they were intimate often. Almost every time they’d gotten together. And she found herself a bit stiff and sore from their amorous activities. The man could be quite…creative.
He was the best lover she’d ever known.
More and more, Joslynn found the notion of making a long-term commitment to him less alarming. In moments of inner honesty, she admitted that the notion of losing him was untenable, and she knew should they break up, her life wouldn’t be the same. She needed his comfort, his humor, his body. Yet she couldn’t stop herself from thinking that Russ was going to become a permanent part of her life.
Exasperated with the avenue her thoughts traveled, she glanced up as a student appeared in the doorway. Her lips drew into a concerned frown when she saw it was Marc. With all the thoughts of Russ coursing through her, she wasn’t sure she was equipped to deal with a guy who was really nice but would probably upset Russ. Why was he even here?
“Joslynn!” Marc waved as he walked through the double doors to enter the yoga studio. He came to stand in front of her. “Fancy seeing you here.”
She’d never seen anyone as big as Russ move so quickly. Eating up the floor in long strides,
he came to stand at her side. As he directed a rather scorching scowl at Marc, Russ folded his arms over his chest again. His legs were braced in what could only be called a “fighting stance.”
Marc’s body language was no less belligerent, and he was clearly taking offense to Russ standing close to her. Although neither said a word, each directed a focused, hard stare at the other.
“I’m surprised to see you here, Marc,” Jos said, hoping to break the stilted silence.
“When Savannah told me how relaxing yoga was, I had to come find out for myself,” he replied. “Especially when she said you taught the beginner classes.”
Something that sounded a bit like a closemouthed laugh came from Russ, which only made Marc narrow his eyes. “Admit it,” Russ said. “You came to see if Josie and I broke up.”
“Fine,” Marc said. “I admit it. Since it appears you’re together, I know when to say when.” He smiled at Joslynn. “Now I just want a nice relaxing yoga session.”
Joslynn sighed at their macho behavior. She hadn’t led Marc on, and it wasn’t her fault if he showed up to satisfy his curiosity. “Class is getting ready to start. Why don’t you get your mat ready, Marc? Russ, you should take off your shoes.”
They acted as though they hadn’t even heard her and just stood there glaring at each other.
When it dawned on her they were both suffering from jealousy, she shook her head and turned her back on them. She’d made it clear she was committed to Russ, so Marc had no reason to feel as if he had some claim on her. And Russ should be confident in her feelings. She was learning to express them more freely and had never given him a reason to doubt her.
She wasn’t some prize for the two men to fight over, and she refused to let them ruin this class for her. “Go on.” She waved them both away. “Go to your mats.” When they were out of earshot, she muttered, “And grow up.”
At the front of the room, Joslynn went about her job. “First pose, Sukhasana.” As she sat cross-legged and set her hands against her knees, she led her students in some deep-breathing exercises. She did her best to try to clear her own troubled thoughts so she could enjoy the session.