More Than Each Other (More Than Best Friends Book 2)

by Sally Henson

  Soft knocks on my door stir me from my slumber. I’m not asleep. Just not fully conscious.

  I roll over and cover my head with my pillow, ignoring my dad.

  He knocks again.

  I want to yell, leave me alone, but I don’t have the energy for it. I just want to go back to my void and not think anymore.

  The handle rattles as he opens the door, and I pretend I’m asleep.

  “Regan?” A timid, masculine voice calls to me. Not at all my dad’s, but that of my best friend. He’s home?

  Hope sparks inside me for a fleeting moment. Having my friends back helps, until I come back to this prison. I clear my throat and lift the pillow to make sure I’m not hallucinating. “Lane?”

  “Regan.” His voice sounds as if he’s been searching all night and finally found me.

  I turn to see him standing inside my bedroom. The light from the hall bends around his body, making him a shadow.

  “Regan?” He takes a step toward me. “I brought you hot chocolate.”

  I want to jump out of this bed and into his arms, but then I remember why I shouldn’t. “What are you doing here?” The last time we talked he hung up on me. We broke up. We aren’t together anymore. We aren’t anything anymore. I sigh and roll back to my side, facing away from him.

  The cup clunks against my nightstand before Lane leaps onto the end of my bed, bouncing me around until he settles his back against the wall. “I came to see you, silly.”

  He acts as if everything is fine. As if Brea’s bikini body never touched him. As if he didn’t hang up on me. As if we’re even friends. “Go away.”

  “What are you doing in bed already? It’s five o’clock.” He puts his hand on my feet.

  I jerk them away from his reach, even though I’ve been crying for his arms to hold me for what feels like forever. My chest swirls with hurt and fire. He can’t sit there and pretend like nothing’s happened. “This is where I sleep. Did you enjoy your big Greek party and bikini Brea?”

  He sighs, folding his arms across his chest. “It wasn't like that, Regan.”

  “Right.” Arguing isn’t what I want to do. It’s done. It’s over. I rub my sternum with my fist to ease the pressure that’s been building since he stepped foot in my room.

  He doesn’t say anything for a while and neither do I.

  Lane sighs, softening his posture. “She has a boyfriend.”

  I pull the covers closer to my chin and stare out my window. “Yeah, looked like it.”

  “It was part of her sorority crap. Other girls had to do it, too.” I can feel his gaze fluttering on my face, but I keep my eyes focused on the darkness outside.

  Like that makes it better? “I saw plenty of boobs and butts surrounding you.” I want to believe him, but seriously? Him being here is breaking my heart even more. I can’t do this. “You should go.”

  Lane crawls up the bed and flops beside me, blocking my view out the window, and staring at me with his pretty blue eyes. “Regan,” he pleads in a soft tone.

  My lids slam shut so he doesn’t do that look-through-my-eyes-into-my-soul trick. I’m not letting him in like that. His presence is hard enough to take. “Get off my bed before my parents come in here and ground me for another month.”

  “They’re not here,” he replies, ignoring my request. “You remember the pictures of you and Cameron floating around this summer?”

  The thought of those pictures adds to the knot in my chest. “Yes,” I answer with disgust.

  He scoops a piece of my hair and plays with it like he used to do. “I thought you two were becoming a thing. That you liked him—wanted to date him. It sucked because I’d been trying to find the right moment to tell you I wanted you to be my girlfriend.” He tucks the strand behind my ear. “If I would’ve believed what I saw in those pictures instead of you…I might never have told you how I felt. I wouldn't be coming home to see you on weekends.” He gives a passionate plea. “I wouldn't be going crazy over you breaking up with me.” His voice drops. “The sorority thing was stupid. I didn’t think. I’m sorry.”

  I want to trust he's telling me the truth. Cam thinks he is.

  “I came home tonight just to see you, to get us back.” He tugs the covers down to see my face. “I should’ve come home to see you last weekend. I didn’t take you breaking up with me so well.”

  I swallow and chance a peek at his face to see if what he’s saying is true.

  His eyes meet mine. “I miss you.”

  Tears sting and spill over my lashes. “I should’ve never broken the rules. Then the gang would be together, and we would still be friends.” I tighten my stomach to keep my body from shaking.

  “Stop with the stupid rules.” Lane combs through my hair. “This isn’t because we broke the rules. It’s us figuring out how to be together, to be more than each other.” His voice and touch are so soft and tender, and my heart wants to let him in, but I’m not sure. When I needed one person in my corner, it all came barreling down on me like a mudslide. I sniff. “Maybe I've been relying on you too much, but this thing with my parents, and then Tobi and Haylee, and then you…I was all alone.”

  “What happened between you and the girls?”

  “I don’t even know.” I wipe my eyes with the sheet. After all the tears I’ve cried the past couple weeks, I don’t know how there are any left. “It doesn’t matter anymore. We kind of made up, so you can go live your life.”

  “That’s dumb. You are part of my life.” Lane pulls my hand from under my blankets and holds it between his. “We should be here for each other. Like we always have been. Best friends no matter what. Remember?”

  “Yeah, but you weren’t.”

  “I know,” he whispers. “Look, I’m gonna screw up. And so are you. We’re not perfect. But I want this.”

  “Since this fight with Dad, I wanted to be with you all the time, and it wasn’t right for me to expect you to drop everything for me. Tobi’s right, I’m a needy, selfish, pathetic jerk.” I groan at this truth. “I don't think I would want to be around me either.”

  “Regan, you’ve been hiding out in your room, holding everything in, keeping everyone out. You can’t do that.” He tilts my chin, so we’re face to face. “Cam told me about you hiding out, not doing your work. It’s not like you.”

  I close my eyes and hide the pain. “What’s the point? All my plans and hopes and dreams are…gone.”

  “What are you talking about?” His hand slides down my arm to my hand, connecting our fingers

  Why doesn’t anyone get it? “Dad refuses to let me go into marine science, and I think he wants me to stay home and work in the factory like he does. Even my friends can’t believe I was holding on to marine science. You’ve been trying to get me to go to Eastern instead, too. I’m too tired to fight for it.”

  I can’t face him, so I roll away with my back to him. One day, this pressure in my chest will go away. One day, I won’t feel like a failure.

  Just when I think he’s moving off the bed, about to leave, his arm wraps around me, pulling me to fit against his chest.

  It feels amazing, and it takes all my strength not to start sobbing. A few shudders ripple through my core, and Lane whispers, “You can’t push everyone away. You think you’re getting back at your dad by hiding out in here, but you’re hurting yourself. I think you might be depressed.”

  My body stiffens. I’m not depressed. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of not having anyone I can count on. “The people who are supposed to love me don’t even care about me. I’m not even sure God likes me anymore.” I barely get the words out before my chest constricts. “I thought if I had you, everything would be fine. But then I didn’t have you and now I’m just a hollowed-out tree. Dead and empty inside.”

  Lane tightens his hug. After holding me awhile, he kisses my hair and says, “God always loves you. That’s who He is. It’s us who walk away from Him. And I know you think you’re fine.” He touches his cheek to mine. “
You’re not fine, but you will be. We will be”

  57

  Regan

  Ms. Faun looks up from her paper sorting as I walk through the door to my desk. “Regan, I didn’t expect you before class today.”

  “Ms. Faun, would it be possible to make up some of the work I didn’t turn in? I’m sorry, I just …” I’ve just had a bad month.

  Talking with Lane in person last night helped me claw my way out of the darkness. And he’s right, I need to get my academic act together.

  She drops her papers on the desk and steps in front of me. “Regan, I am so glad to hear this.”

  I give her a small smile. But if she’s expecting some kind of explanation, she can forget it.

  She folds her arms across her chest, raising her brow and asks, “Are you okay?”

  I nod “Yes, ma’am.”

  Her arms engulf me in a tight hug.

  The first bell rings, triggering the hustle and bustle of students to increase out in the hallway.

  She straightens, smoothing out her clothes. “I’ve given everything to Miss Braun already. Why don’t you see if she’s in her office?”

  Miss Braun’s office door is already open when I get there. The tardy bell sounds, and I peek my head in to see her standing off to the side by the window.

  “Miss Braun?”

  She turns my direction. “Regan.” Her brilliant eyes check me over as if she’s inspecting me for defects.

  I don’t want to see her judge me and drop my gaze to the floor. Maybe I should just forget about the make-up work and go back to class.

  When I take a step backward, she tells me, “Come in and shut the door.”

  Mistake. Coming here was a mistake. My insides groan, but I do what she says. Let’s hurry up and get this over with.

  “Miss Faun said I should ask you about make-up work.”

  She extends her hand toward the chair in front of her desk. “Sit down,” she says, and takes a seat herself.

  “Regan, not turning in homework and leaving your tests blank…this isn’t like you at all. What’s going on?”

  Judging by the direction this conversation his headed, the confidence I gained from Lane coming to see me last night is about to disappear.

  “Nothing. I’m fine,” I answer, glancing at her.

  Miss Braun drops her chin and looks through her lashes at me. Her creased brow is an exclamation point of her disbelief.

  I avert my eyes. I’ve had enough critical looks to last me a lifetime, including Miss Braun’s.

  “Look at me.”

  I lift my gaze to hers.

  We stare at each other until I get uncomfortable, which takes about ten seconds. I focus on pushing back my cuticles while tapping my toes on the tiled floor.

  “I’m more than your guidance counselor or youth sponsor. If you need help, with anything, you can trust me.”

  “Trust you for what?” I glance at her and go back to my self-manicure.

  “To tell me what’s going on in your life that would cause you to give up like this. I want to help you. Talk to me.”

  I straighten in my chair, checking her over for any sign of lying. “Why? So you can go off and tell your teacher friends and then the big story ‘Regan is a loser’ makes it all over town.?”

  She leans forward, causing her chair to squeak. “I’m not a gossip. I’m your friend. Do you trust me?”

  My shoulder hitches.

  She continues her inquisition, coaxing and tugging until something she says cuts the stitches that have been holding me together.

  “Regan, I believe in you. I want you to succeed.”

  Miss Braun might be the only one who does believe in me, believes I can succeed, right now. What more do I have to lose?

  I vomit everything that’s happened since the day Lane left for college and end with the conclusion that never seems to change. My parents control my choices, my life.

  “Listen to me Regan.” Miss Braun moves to sit on the edge of her desk. “I like your parents. But you’re the only one who’s going to live your life. You can't live it for them, and they can't live yours for you. I'd like to talk to them about this.”

  My eyes widen with the fear of her talking to my Dad. “No. Please don't.”

  “Not about today, not what you've shared with me. Just about your major, your future plans.”

  “That's not a good idea. I don’t know what I want anymore. Maybe it is a crazy idea. I’ve never even been to the ocean before.”

  “I'm here to support you. I believe in you, Regan. Don't shy away from marine science because others say you shouldn’t do it. If you try it out and decide it's not for you, then change your major.”

  She doesn’t get it. Dad controls everything in my life. I have no money. No car. No phone. No options. If I go down that path, I may not have a family either. “It's not that easy Miss Braun. I can’t afford to make a mistake like that.”

  Miss Braun stands and walks back to her chair. “Nothing in life is for sure.” She writes on a sticky note as she tells me, “Life is full of mistakes. The key is to learn from the mistakes and keep going. Sometimes,”—she stops and makes eye contact with me— “we have to make mistakes to see what we should do next. You used to make good choices. Let's get you back on track.”

  “I don't know, Miss Braun. I—”

  “We’ll start with your grades. We'll talk about parents and friends as we go. I’ve already talked with your teachers about making up your work. It may not be full credit, but it's better than a zero.”

  My gaze finds the floor again. “I'm tired, Miss Braun. Too tired to try anymore.”

  “I want you to start coming in here every day for lunch.”

  “I’m eating with my friends again.”

  “Okay, Tuesday and Thursday then. We'll work this out together.” She writes another note and hands it to me. “As your friend, I want you to read this every day.”

  She listed scriptures Matthew 16 and Psalm 37. My friend, huh? I stand to leave, stopping at the door. “I thought I saw your car at Ms. Pearson's barn a while back. Is that where you live?”

  Her face brightens. “Yes. I lucked into that place. I love living there. Stop by sometime, and I'll fix you a cup of tea.”

  When I walk out of her office, I know there’s at least one adult that cares about me.

  58

  Lane

  Tobi: Everything good to go. Regan’s says she’ll ask about coming over Friday.

  Me: Do you think she knows?

  Tobi: No. I don’t think she even remembers it’s her birthday.

  Me: That’s sad…

  Tobi: Yeah…

  Me: Thanks for doing this.

  Tobi: