Paper Hearts

by Ali Novak

  “Look,” Rose said when our silence grew too tense to bear. “I’ve been where you are. When Mom kicked me out, I felt so betrayed. I know you’re hurting, but I haven’t seen you in so long. I don’t want to waste another minute arguing about her.”

  She was right. Mom had already stolen so much time from us. Why was I letting her take even more?

  “Okay,” I said, taking a calming breath and trying—at least for the time being—to put Mom out of mind. “Tell me all about Nicoli.”

  • • •

  “…and here’s one of us with his nonna,” Rose said, pointing to a picture of her, Nicoli, and an older woman.

  We’d moved from the kitchen to the living room couch, and Rose was showing me a photo album of the month she’d stayed with Nicoli’s family in Naples. So far, I’d learned that her boyfriend was twenty-four, the sous-chef at one of the highest-rated restaurants in Seattle, and that his dream was to open his own bistro.

  I ran my finger over the album’s plastic page, tracing my sister’s grin. Cheeks bunched up high, mouth thrown open in laughter. I’d never seen her look so happy. “You must’ve had an amazing time,” I said wistfully. I wasn’t sad exactly…but knowing Rose had to leave home to find that kind of happiness sent a pang through my heart.

  She nodded. “It was the best trip of my life.”

  “You never said… How did you guys meet?”

  “On my first cruise,” she answered, eyes sparkling. “There’s this tea party where guests can meet the Disney princesses, and he worked it. Obviously not as a princess. He was a waiter, saving for culinary school. Anyway, about halfway through the event, he tripped and dumped an entire pitcher of juice down my dress.”

  “That must’ve gone over well.” I’d never known my sister to be the cool, calm, collected type.

  “I was livid,” she said, talking with her hands. “But Disney has this rule that we can’t break character while in costume, so I had to smile and laugh and pretend the OJ running down my cleavage was no big deal. In reality, all I wanted to do was wring his neck.”

  I stifled a laugh as I tried to imagine Rose restraining her temper. It was easier to picture her in a Cinderella costume, swearing like a sailor as steam poured from her ears. Little girls crying, teacups shattering as they fell to the floor, while Rose lunged across the table to throttle poor Nicoli.

  “I take it he got an earful later?”

  “That was the plan,” Rose admitted, “but before I got the chance, he cornered me and begged for my forgiveness. Seriously, on his knees begged. It was so sweet that I melted. There was nowhere to buy flowers on the ship, but he went to the gift shop and purchased a Beauty and the Beast light-up rose. It was cheesy, plastic, and probably cost him a week’s salary, but it was so thoughtful.”

  Rose, melt? No wonder Nicoli had lasted so long. Guys normally only made it a month tops with her.

  “Then there was the accent,” she continued to gush. “God, I was a total sucker for the way he rolled his R when he said my name.”

  “So the rest is history?” I asked.

  She smiled. “I think so. We’ve had our rough patches and obstacles, but things are going really well. We just moved in together, which is a pretty big step, but it feels right. We feel right.” She shut the photo album and set it on the coffee table before smirking at me. “Now, not that I know anything about boy bands, but your friend Alec… Is he who I think he is?”

  “Ah, yeah,” I muttered, not sure why I felt shy admitting this. “We also met via a spilled drink. I was at a charity event, and he accidentally dumped a soda down the front of my dress.”

  I spent the next ten minutes recounting the masquerade and everything that happened after, from sharing blueberry milk shakes at the diner to making out in a tree during a game of Cops and Robbers.

  When I finished talking, Rose’s smile had grown tenfold. “He sounds amazing.”

  Nodding, I tucked a curl behind my ear. “He is.”

  “But? You sound…off.” She studied me for a beat before cocking her head. “Does his fame bother you?”

  I traced the floral pattern of the couch cushion with my finger, considering. “To be honest, we haven’t known each other long enough for me to say. I’ve seen how it affects his life—like everywhere he goes, people want to take pictures with him—but he’s generous about that, and it’s never gotten to the point of bothering me.”

  “Then what is bothering you? Because something is. I can tell.”

  Was something bothering me? I stared at my nails as if the answer I sought would suddenly be painted there in my favorite coral polish.

  These past few days, I’d been consumed by thoughts of my sister. I was so focused on finding her that I hadn’t spent much time thinking about me and Alec. I liked him, I really did…but maybe she was right. After the talk I’d had with Alec last night, I wasn’t sure where I stood with him. Were we just friends with benefits? Dating? If ever there was a time to use Facebook’s It’s Complicated relationship status, it was now.

  On top of that, I had yet to get to the bottom of the whole Violet James thing, and I couldn’t help thinking back to the conversation I’d overheard between him and Stella. You’re not being honest either, she’d told him.

  And that made me wonder… Was Alec hiding something from me?

  The thought made me feel hollow.

  The last thing I needed in my life was more lies. First it was Mom with Rose’s letters. Then when I found out Asha and Boomer were secretly dating. Now I was second-guessing my feelings.

  “Don’t laugh, okay?” I said after some time. “At the masquerade, I felt an instant connection with Alec. He’s an incredibly reserved person, but he opened up to me. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was kind of like hearing a new song on the radio you instantly love. Completely unfamiliar, but it sets your soul on fire. Like it was written just for you, and you want to sing at the top of your lungs even if you don’t know the words. That’s how it feels with him.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t think he’s been entirely honest with me.”

  Rose raised a brow. “About what?”

  “Well…I’m not sure.”

  “Felicity.” Her tone was light, but so much like Mom’s that I flinched. “Didn’t you just say you haven’t known each other very long? You can’t expect him to give up all his secrets right away.”

  “I get that,” I said, smoothing a crease out of my dress. “It’s just… There’s this other girl. Her name is Violet James.”

  “The actress?”

  I nodded. “There were rumors in the tabloids last month about them dating. All weekend he’s been fielding these tense phone calls. I think they have something to do with her.”

  “Ah,” Rose said in knowing voice, which instantly made me feel self-conscious.

  “I know I sound irrational,” I added, rushing to explain myself. “But I really like him. If he’s lying to me…I don’t think I can handle it. Not him. Not now.”

  Ugh. Why was I being so pathetic? Never in my life had I been upset over a guy. Okay, so maybe my heart withered a little when Eddie Marks forgot my name, but he was a stupid crush. I knew Eddie never saw me. I was nobody to him.

  Maybe that was why this felt different.

  Alec saw me. I was somebody to him…but what if that didn’t matter? What if the connection I felt with him wasn’t enough? What if he saw me and chose her?

  Rose moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “You know there’s a simple solution to this problem, right?”

  “I do?”

  She nodded. “You need to talk to him.”

  “But what if it’s all in my head? Maybe there’s no huge secret, and I’m jumping to conclusions. I don’t want him to think I’m making assumptions about us or to come off as
insecure.”

  “Alec seems like a pretty reasonable guy,” Rose replied. “If you let him know how you’re feeling, I’m sure he’ll understand. And if not, if he is lying, then isn’t it better you find out now?”

  She was right, of course, but her advice didn’t make me feel any better. I was saved from responding when my phone buzzed.

  Asha: Hey, can you let us in?

  Asha: Alec got swarmed by fans at lunch, so we’re back early.

  “Everything okay?” Rose asked when I pulled away from her and stood.

  “It’s Asha,” I answered. “They’re downstairs.”

  “Hey, Felicity?”

  I glanced back at her. “Uh-huh?”

  “Talk. To. Him.”

  • • •

  When I pushed opened the door, Asha and Boomer were the only ones waiting on the stoop.

  “Where’s Alec?”

  Boomer jabbed his thumb to the left. “Should be around the corner. He’s taking a call.”

  Another one?

  “All right, I’ll wait for him.” I stepped aside so they could move past me.

  As they climbed the stairs, I leaned against the doorframe and straddled the threshold, one foot firmly planted inside the building, the other outside on the concrete. I didn’t want to get locked out, but I also didn’t want Alec to think we’d left him. As much as I hated to admit it, Rose was right. I needed to talk to Alec, and this was the perfect opportunity for me to speak with him privately… But where to start?

  In theory, it should be easy to come straight out with it and ask about Violet. Alec was an upfront, rational person. We hadn’t defined us yet, so he’d understand my need for clarity.

  But how things worked in theory didn’t always match reality. Despite the fact that Alec wasn’t the kind of person to judge, there was no good way for me to bring up Violet without coming off as a jealous psycho. What if I ruined everything between us by turning nothing into an issue?

  With that being said, I knew I had to say something. The tension in my stomach wouldn’t let up until I did.

  When five minutes passed and Alec still hadn’t returned, I went looking for him. He wasn’t around the corner like Boomer said he would be or in front of the gallery. His car was still parked in the same spot, which meant he couldn’t have gone far. If he’d retreated into one of the many cafés that lined the street, it would take all night to find him. But knowing Alec, he’d be somewhere quiet if he needed space to clear his head.

  I found him sitting on a bench in the park a block away from Rose’s apartment. The place was empty except for a mother pushing her daughter on the swings of the playground. Alec’s headphones were in, and even though I couldn’t see his face, I could tell from the way he was hunched over—elbows on his knees, head hung low, hands clasped together—that he was upset.

  I brushed my fingers over his shoulder as I dropped into the spot next to him. “Hey.”

  Alec tensed at my touch, but when he saw that it was me, his muscles relaxed and he paused his music.

  “How’d the talk with your sister go?” he said before I could ask what was wrong.

  “Eye-opening.” Letting out a harsh breath, I settled back against the bench. “Turns out that Rose never ran away. My mom kicked her out because she got arrested for possession, but the drugs weren’t hers. Apparently Mom thought Rose was going to corrupt me or something ridiculous like that, so—get this—she paid my sister to stay away.”

  “Whoa.” He sat up. “That’s pretty intense.”

  “Right?”

  A moment of silence slipped by, and then Alec’s lips quirked up. “You have to admit, that sounds like the plot line of a daytime soap.”

  I shot him a look. “So does a mountaineering boy bander who helps the stranger he met at a masquerade ball track down her long-lost sister.”

  “Nobody,” he said with a snort, “would believe that. But clearly your life has high entertainment value. It’s a wonder someone hasn’t given you your own TV show.”

  “Oh yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes. “The Kardashians better watch out.”

  Alec laughed, and the sound made me smile.

  “Felicity?” he said suddenly.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m glad you found your sister.”

  A sudden burst of gratitude for the boy sitting next to me coursed through my body—along with hot waves of shame. Alec had only wanted to help me. He’d given up an entire weekend to do so, pissing off his dad in the process, and how did I repay that kindness? By doubting him.

  I assumed that because the people closest to me were keeping secrets, he must be too. But just because there was stuff in his life I wasn’t privy to didn’t mean he was lying. Like Rose said, I couldn’t expect him to bare his soul after knowing me for little more than two weeks. Where was the mystery or romance in that?

  “We found Rose,” I said, correcting him. “You told me I couldn’t thank you until we did, so now that we have, I want you to know how much it means to me. And I’m not just talking about driving me here. Thank you for not letting me give up in San Francisco and for helping me through the whole Asha-Boomer debacle. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.”

  Taking my hand in his, Alec ran his thumb over my knuckles. “It was my pleasure,” he said. I knew he meant it—Alec always meant what he said—but the smile on his face quickly faded.

  “Hey, you okay?” I asked, bumping my shoulder into his. “Asha texted me about what happened at lunch. Said you got mobbed.”

  He slumped against the back of the bench and jammed his free hand into the pocket of his shorts. The other stayed locked with mine.

  “It’s not that,” he replied. “I know it might not seem like it, but I really do enjoy meeting fans. Plus, I’m fairly positive Asha was exaggerating. There weren’t that many people.”

  “Then what’s up?”

  Alec forced a smile, but it only made him look more miserable. “My dad.”

  “He called again?” Even though Alec had told me not to worry, I did exactly that. The frequency of King’s calls was increasing at a noticeable rate, which made me think that whatever was going on was serious. “If you need to go back to LA, I totally understand. The three of us can figure out our own way home. I’d hate to think this trip is coming between you and your dad.”

  “Felicity, I’m not abandoning you in Seattle,” he said. “King being a dick is nothing new. I can handle it, okay?”

  I frowned, unconvinced, but before I could say anything else, Alec leaned over and brushed his lips on my forehead in a soft, barely there kiss. Then he stood and, like the gentleman he always was, offered me his hand.

  “We should head back before they wonder where we’ve gone,” he said. I knew he was trying to end the conversation in the nicest way possible, but I couldn’t stop my thoughts from circling back to King.

  What had he done to hurt his son so much?

  Chapter 18

  We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with my sister, and before I knew it, five hours had passed in what felt like a span of minutes. For dinner, I helped Rose make baked macaroni loaded with enough cheese to clog our arteries, and when we finished eating, she forced everyone to play Monopoly.

  It ended up being a blast.

  “…five, six, seven… Oh, shit,” Asha said when she realized where her roll had landed her.

  Boomer pumped his fist in celebration. “Thank you for visiting Boomer’s Boardwalk luxury hotel and spa. That will be a cool two grand, please.”

  Asha looked down at her measly pile of ones and fives, sighed, and then pushed everything she had—the pocket change, Baltic Avenue, and St. James Place—over to her boyfriend. “Well, I’m out. Doubt that will cover it.”

  “I can think of a few ways for you to make up the difference,” he
suggested with a smirk. “You could start with—”

  “Boomer!” Asha exclaimed. Red bloomed on her cheeks, and she kicked him underneath the table. “This is a G-rated game. Behave yourself.”

  “Babe,” he grunted as he rubbed his shin. “I’m pretty sure board games don’t have ratings.”

  She pointed at the box. “It says right on the front ages eight and up.”

  “Well, we’re not playing with any eight-year-olds,” Boomer said, “so you don’t have to worry.”

  Alec turned to him and gestured at his Game Boy, which Boomer had pulled from his pocket and deposited on the table along with his wallet, cell phone, and a crumpled-up receipt from the Gas Exchange. “You sure?” he deadpanned.

  Rose nearly choked on a sip of wine, while Asha threw back her head and laughed, embarrassment forgotten. Glancing around at our small group, I was unable to control my smile. I couldn’t help but think how perfect this moment was, being here with the people I cared about.

  Then Alec’s phone rang.

  His expression stilled when he saw the caller ID. “Excuse me,” he said, pushing his chair back and standing. I tried to catch his eye, to silently ask if everything was okay, but he slipped out of the apartment without a backward glance.

  My mouth settled into a hard line. It had to be King calling. No one else could rattle Alec so easily.

  Before I realized what I was doing, I pushed away from the table, my gaze focused on the doorway Alec had disappeared through. “Guys, I’ll be right back,” I said, not bothering to explain myself.

  I knew he didn’t want me to worry, but I was done letting Alec deal with King on his own. There was no way for me to fix whatever was broken between father and son, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t just be there for Alec. If he wasn’t ready to tell me what was going on, I could live with that. It wasn’t going to stop me from supporting him. After what he’d done to help me find Rose, it was the least I could do.

  As I made my way down the stairs, the sound of Alec’s voice drifted into earshot.