Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths- And How We Can Stop!
Page 4
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is an extreme form of narcis-
sism. According to the DSM-5, someone with NPD has internal distress
and/or social impairment,17 and exhibits at least five out of nine specific
characteristics.18 For the purposes of this book (since we’re not diagnosing
disorders but understanding high- conflict behavior patterns), the key nar-
cissistic traits to look for are these:
KEY HIGH- CONFLICT BEHAVIORS OF NARCISSISTS
1. Drive to be superior
2. Grandiose ideas
3. Fantasies of unlimited power
4. Lack of empathy
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1: High- Conflict Politicians 13
These four characteristics help narcissists get elected because they help
the candidates convince people that they are really superior and that their
grandiose ideas are really achievable. Since narcissists truly believe in them-
selves and their ideas, they can appear very charming, authentic, and per-
suasive. But they tend to deceive everyone, including themselves. Although
they aren’t necessarily lying, they are usually unaware of how exaggerated
and unrealistic they are about their own abilities and ideas.
For example, studies have shown that when narcissists are CEOs of
companies, their preoccupation with themselves and their overestimation
of their own skills creates more volatility for the company’s performance.
They are not popular bosses, are seen as below average in leadership skills,
and take credit for other’s work. They are usually not very successful when
compared to CEO’s who put the organization first.19
A large study determined that about 6.2 percent of the United States
population has NPD. That’s about twenty million people. This study found
that just over 60 percent of the people with this disorder are male and just
under 40 percent are female.20
Sociopathic (Antisocial) Personality Disorder
The DSM-5 lists several characteristics for antisocial personality disorder
( antisocial is an equivalent term for sociopath), or ASPD.21 For the purposes of spotting sociopathic high- conflict behavior patterns, look out for the following four traits:
KEY HIGH- CONFLICT BEHAVIORS OF SOCIOPATHS
1. Drive to dominate
2. Deceitful (lying and conning)
3. Highly aggressive
4. Lack of remorse
Research indicates that nearly 4 percent of the population has ASPD.
That’s over twelve million people in the United States alone. About 75 per-
cent of them are male and about 25 percent are female.22
Sociopathic HCPs naturally gravitate toward positions in which they can
dominate and humiliate others—such as politics, business, organizational
leadership, and/or criminality. They may become CEOs of large corporations,
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14 Part I: How Narcissists and Sociopaths Get Elected
politicians, and highly paid consultants; or gang leaders, heads of drug cartels,
and leaders of terrorist groups.23 A sociopathic HCP can also be a common
criminal; a smiling, friendly, drug- dealing neighbor; or a heartless co- worker.
You don’t want to become their target by getting too close to them, joining in
any of their schemes, or directly confronting them by yourself.
Some sociopathic HCPs are attracted to politics because they can steal
from the public coffers for themselves and/or engage in large- scale schemes
of swindling others. They enjoy that kind of dominance and high risk taking.
They can also use their political power to boss around large groups of people
by fooling them, controlling them, removing them, or destroying them.
They use Targets of Blame as a distraction while they are doing their
dirty work. By getting you to look over there at another politician, they are
able to take power and whatever else they want without being stopped. It’s
just like pickpockets who distract you by bumping into you and pointing
somewhere else: “Look up at that over there!” they shout, grabbing your
wallet while you’re looking up.
You might wonder what the difference is between narcissistic and socio-
pathic personalities. Here’s what the DSM-5 says: “[N]arcissistic personal-
ity disorder does not include characteristics of impulsivity, aggression, and
deceit. ”24 So if a politician seems narcissistic, but also lies a lot and is highly impulsive and aggressive, that probably means that he (or she) has traits of
both disorders.
Malignant Narcissism
Now it gets really frightening. If someone has both of these personality dis-
orders, they are considered to be a malignant narcissist, which is a disorder
that experts say has “no treatment and no cure. ”25
The malignant narcissist can be particularly powerful, persuasive, confi-
dent, and aggressive. They can look very attractive and charismatic while pro-
moting extremely grandiose plans (their narcissistic side). They are ruthless,
heartless, and lack a conscience (their antisocial side). They are also paranoid
and sadistic,26 say the experts, so they are more driven than most narcissists
or sociopaths to destroy their Targets of Blame—including almost everything
and everyone in their path—and, ultimately, themselves.
This diagnosis was identified by German- born psychiatrist Erich Fromm
who left Nazi Germany in the 1930s and came to the United States where he
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1: High- Conflict Politicians 15
had a significant influence on the development of psychological theory and
practice. Here’s how Fromm explained this particular disorder:
The Egyptian Pharoahs, the Roman Caesars, the Borgias, Hitler, Stalin,
Trujillo—they all show certain similar features. They have attained abso-
lute power; their word is the ultimate judgment of everything, including
life and death; there seems to be no limit to their capacity to do what
they want. . . .
It is a madness that tends to grow in the lifetime of the afflicted person. The
more he tries to be god, the more he isolates himself from the human race;
this isolation makes him more frightened, everybody becomes his enemy,
and in order to stand the resulting fright he has to increase his power, his
ruthlessness, and his narcissism.27
Fromm says that this narcissism is malignant because it is not restrained
in its growth, like a malignant cancer.28
The major study of personality disorders mentioned previously indicated
that approximately 0.7 percent of the United States population has both of
these disorders.29 Although that sounds small, it’s about two million people.
They can be in any walk of life, at any level of society.
For example, Brian David Mitchell, the kidnapper of fourteen- year- old
Elizabeth Smart from her home in Utah in 2002, was identified as having
both narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders during his criminal
trial. He apparently wanted to rule a family with many wives and had plans
to kidnap more teenage girls because he believed they would be easier to
mold to his wishes. He couldn’t stop himself. Fo
rtunately he was captured,
and Elizabeth Smart is doing well and is educating the public about how
such dangerous personalities can exist anywhere.30
Conclusion
In short, narcissists, sociopaths, or both, when combined with high- conflict
personalities, are driven to be the kings (or, to a much lesser extent, queens),
the dictators, the supreme ruler over all. I think of them as HCP Wannabe
Kings. And these aren’t the friendly Camelot or Disney type of kings. These
are the grandiose and ruthless Wannabe Kings who will do anything and
destroy anyone to gain power to become the absolute ruler.
Now you have the fundamentals for identifying the patterns of high-
conflict politicians, including the narcissists, the sociopaths (antisocial), and
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16 Part I: How Narcissists and Sociopaths Get Elected
the combination (malignant narcissists). Figure 1 is a simple way to summa-
rize their characteristics.
Throughout the rest of this book, I refer to this personality pattern as
HCP Wannabe Kings, HCP politicians, or simply HCPs or Wannabe Kings.
Consider these terms as equivalent in describing this set of characteristics.
This pattern awareness gives you the ability to predict much of an HCP’s
future behavior early on, unlike most people who simply look at each of
their actions in isolation and constantly express surprise. With practice, you
HCP Wannabe Kings
(the shaded area below)
High-Conflict Personality
Targets of Blame
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Unmanaged Emotions
Extreme Behaviors
Narcissistic Traits
Sociopathic Traits
Drive to Be Superior
Drive to Dominate
Grandiose Ideas
Deceitful (Lying and Conning)
Fantasies of Unlimited Power
Highly Aggressive
Lack of Empathy
Lack of Remorse
Malignant Narcissists
FIGURE 1 . High-Conflict Politicians . Copyright © 2019 Bill Eddy, All Rights Reserved, Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths—And How We Can Stop, Berrret -Koehler Publishers
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1: High- Conflict Politicians 17
will find that these patterns get easier and easier to spot. Since HCPs don’t
change their behavior, they are, in fact, more predictable than the average
person.
Remember, you are not diagnosing anyone; rather, you are watching out
for those you do not want to assume positions of power over you—whether
this is in relationships, at work, or as your political leaders.
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2
HIGH-CONFLICT
EMOTIONAL WARFARE
One of the most surprising—and shocking and terrifying—things about
all high- conflict people (HCPs) is that they attack those closest to them.
From those who perpetrate domestic violence to the workplace bully to
high- conflict politicians, HCPs turn against those who are on their same
team: their family, their community, their party, their nation, and their allies.
These are their Targets of Blame. They repeatedly criticize them, laugh at
them, publicly ridicule them, damage their property, and harm their rela-
tionships; some HCPs even physically assault or kill their Targets of Blame.
I call this high-conflict emotional warfare because it’s communicated
emotionally, not rationally, and it triggers overwhelming emotions in their
targets and those around them. It makes no sense logically to be attacked
like this. Often HCP targets start to feel crazy and become immobilized. If
you’ve ever been one, you know what it’s like.
All HCPs engage in this. They are at war with the world—mostly the world
around them. But HCP politicians do it on a much larger and more dangerous
scale. These Wannabe Kings can’t stop themselves in their endless effort to
gain unlimited power. Here’s how it works.
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20 Part I: How Narcissists and Sociopaths Get Elected
The High-Conflict Emotional Warfare Pattern
This pattern has four steps that I have identified:
1. Seduce Negative Advocates.
2. Attack Targets of Blame.
3. Divide their community.
4. Dominate everyone.
It’s very important to learn this pattern so that when you are someone’s
Target of Blame, you can understand what is happening to you and that it is
not something you caused. No one deserves this. Targets often don’t know
how to react because they never expected to be treated this way in a cooper-
ative society. But HCPs have highly aggressive behavior. When you see them
viciously attack someone else, be aware that sooner or later they may attack
you too. They can’t stop themselves, so others need to stop them.
Seducing Their Negative Advocates
The concept of Negative Advocates first arose for me in legal disputes, when
I saw HCPs gathering family, friends, co- workers, neighbors, and others to
advocate for their distorted thinking and to help them attack their Targets
of Blame. Since they usually have no basis for most of their legal claims,
these HCPs resorted to emotional pressure to win their cases. By bringing
their Negative Advocates to court, they could make it appear that they had
a strong case based on the credibility of these advocates and the size of their
support.
However, since the legal process focuses on facts and evidence (in con-
trast to the political process), HCPs often lose because they don’t really
have a case. But with some juries and a few judges, they occasionally win
their cases through emotional persuasion and the presence of their Nega-
tive Advocates.
In reversing the decision in a personal injury case, a court of appeals in
Louisiana said the following, criticizing the emotional tactics of the lawyers
(the Negative Advocates for an apparently HCP client):
[T]rial counsel engaged in improper trial conduct and made improper
closing arguments to confuse and inflame the jury . . . [this conduct]
causes more than great concern. Counsel is cautioned that such conduct
in the future will result in the imposition of severe sanctions. But, this
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2: High-Conflict Emotional Warfare 21
great concern goes beyond sanctions; the greatest concern is that counsel
seems intent on winning at any cost, notwithstanding concomitant viola-
tions of long- established rules of practice and in disregard, it seems, of
the truth.31 (Emphasis added)
This case was decided in 1996, but the terms used by the court easily fits
today’s politics: “winning at any cost,” “disregard of the truth,” etc. Negative
Advocates, when they are professionals such as lawyers, are often seen as
more credible than the HCP. Yet these Negative Advocates can be ordinary
people, too—people who become emotionally hooked but are uninformed.
Once
such people become informed, they often abandon HCPs and stop
fighting for them. Since all of this is based on emotions, these advocates’
support is fleeting. People regularly get hooked into advocating for HCPs
and then later abandon them. This is why HCPs are always recruiting new
Negative Advocates.
Narcissists and sociopaths are the most seductive personalities and are
both skilled at gathering such advocates. They know how to tell the stories that
get people to fall in love with them and support their fights against their tar-
gets. This is just as true in politics as it is in their romantic relationships. They
want advocates to worship them and defend them, so they build an emotional
relationship from the start. HCPs tell their potential Negative Advocates that
they love them and they expect to be loved in return. It’s not about politics or
policies; it’s really about emotional attention, intensity, and repetition.
Keep in mind that this is just an act Wannabe Kings put on. They do not
really love their followers, nor do they care about their advocates’ personal
or political needs. For HCPs, it is all about gaining more power for them-
selves so that they can dominate a community or a nation. They will strike
an unstated devil’s bargain with their followers:
Give me all your power and I will pretend to love you and speak for you against the
“establishment,” the “elites,” and the “invaders” of our great country. But everything I do
is really just a tactic to gain power—over you and everyone else. I will discard you the
moment you become inconvenient, disloyal, or expect anything in return.
In addition to seducing their Negative Advocates by telling them that
they are special people, HCPs also promise an idyllic (and unrealistic) life.
It appears that HCPs on the political right usually promise a return to the
glorious past—usually a vanished agrarian paradise32—while HCPs on the
left promise a glorious workers’ future.33
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22 Part I: How Narcissists and Sociopaths Get Elected
For example, Hitler gave impassioned speeches that “especially the
ladies” enjoyed. In 1922, an American reporter noted one woman who could
not tear her eyes away:
Transfixed as if in some devotional ecstasy, she had ceased to be herself
and was completely under the spell of Hitler’s despotic faith in Germany’s