Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths- And How We Can Stop!
Page 23
dominate. We must recognize these patterns as early as possible—and we can.
And we must remember, this problem is not about the politics; it’s about the
personalities.
It may appear that Wannabe Kings throughout history have simply
taken advantage of extremely deep unique historical resentments to get
into power, such as in Hitler’s Germany. However, the HCP theory regard-
ing emotional warfare and Fantasy Crisis Triads suggests that HCPs in the
last hundred years have used the latest viral media to turn their people
into extreme horrific fighting forces against anyone they chose to target no
matter how absurd. Rather than harnessing a unique history of resentments,
it’s this power to teach division and splitting in the present that may be the
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168 Conclusion: Maintaining Our Immunity
driving force of HCPs. This makes our vigilance and immunity against giving
HCPs power even more important everywhere.
All of us, in all countries, in all generations now and to come, need to
learn to understand the dynamics of HCPs, and we need to work actively
to keep them from gaining power, in the same way that our bodies need to
always produce and circulate antibodies.
We can never stop and relax and imagine that the threat of high- conflict
politicians is not imminent, and that politics is just about politics, not
personalities too. If we do, this is precisely when the next HCP will storm
through the gates and seize control. This is probably why so many Wannabe
Kings have arisen in the 2000s, when things are generally going better than
ever worldwide. We haven’t been paying attention and maintaining immu-
nity to the narcissists and sociopaths that have been gaining attention all
around us.
But we can build awareness and appropriate protections into our cul-
ture so that they become as normal as locks on our doors and police on our
streets. Only when we have done this can our freedom and democracy—and
health and safety—be preserved, year after year. It’s up to us—all of us work-
ing together—to not allow ourselves to be divided by high- conflict politi-
cians selling fantasy crises, villains, and heroes.
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Appendix A
40 PREDICTABLE
BEHAVIORS OF HCPs
Excerpted with permission from the book 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin
Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths and Other
High- Conflict Personalities by Bill Eddy
Since high- conflict people (HCPs) tend to treat all of their relationships
as inherently adversarial, there are at least 40 things you can gener-
ally predict about them, once you see the four primary characteristics of
all- or- nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, blaming others and extreme
behaviors. This is regardless of where they live, their level of intelligence,
occupation or social position. They:
1. Won’t reflect on their own behavior.
2. Won’t have insights about their part in problems.
3. Won’t understand why they behave the way they do.
4. Won’t change their behavior.
5. Won’t seek counseling or any form of real advice.
6. Won’t understand why they succeed in the short term (when they are
initially charming and persuasive) and why they fail in the long- term
(when reality sets in).
7.
Will become extremely defensive if someone tells them to change.
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170 Appendix A: 40 Predictable Behaviors of HCPs
8. Will claim their behavior is normal and necessary, given the
circumstances.
9. Will lack empathy for others, although they may say the right words.
10. Will be preoccupied with drawing attention to themselves.
11. May be preoccupied with the past; defending their own actions and
attacking others.
12. May have a public persona that’s very good, covering a negative per-
sonality in private.
13. May call others crazy when it’s suggested that they are being
inappropriate.
14. May bully others, but defend themselves by saying that they were
bullied.
15. Will be preoccupied with blaming others, even for very small or non-
existent events.
16. Will have lots of energy for blaming others, since they don’t spend it
on self- reflection.
17. Will have Targets of Blame, who are intimate others or people in
positions of authority.
18. Will focus on a single Target of Blame and try to control, remove or
destroy that person.
19. May assault their Target(s) of Blame financially, reputationally, legally,
physically, etc.
20. May engage administrative or legal procedures against their Tar-
get(s) of Blame.
21. Will constantly seek Negative Advocates to assist in blaming others
and defending themselves.
22. Will easily turn against their Negative Advocates when they don’t do
as they’re told.
23. Will demand loyalty from others and tell them what they need to do.
24. Will not be loyal themselves, claiming they were betrayed.
25. May be very secretive, yet demand full disclosure from others, includ-
ing confidences.
26. May breach confidences about others when it serves their purpose.
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Appendix A: 40 Predictable Behaviors of HCPs 171
27. Will truly wonder why so many people “turn against them” over time.
28. Will turn on family and good friends in an instant; may try to repair
the relationship.
29. Will have few, if any, real friends over time.
30. Will not be happy most of the time, except when people totally agree
with them.
31. Will have high- intensity relationships, starting with intense attrac-
tions but ending with intense resentments and blame.
32. Will have unrealistically high expectations of their allies, which will
inevitably be dashed.
33. Will sabotage themselves, working against their own self- interest.
34. Will create many of the problems that they claim they are trying to
solve.
35. Will project onto others what they are doing or thinking themselves.
36. Will lack self- restraint, even when it’s in their best interests to restrain
themselves.
37. Will do things impulsively, then sometimes regret it and other times
not regret it.
38. Will ask for many favors, yet will not reciprocate favors.
39. Will respond to requests with unrelated demands, often ignoring the
request altogether.
40. Will “split” those around them into all- good and all- bad people, trig-
gering many conflicts.
In general, people are shocked at how intense, but predictable, these
behaviors can be. Once they see the four primary characteristics, however,
they can focus on avoiding the person or using the methods described in this
book to help manage the situation.
© 2018 by William A. Eddy Tarcher/Perigee P
enguin/Random House
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Appendix B
HIGH- CONFLICT
POLITICIAN SCORECARD
Excerpted with permission from the book Splitting America by Bill Eddy and
Don Saposnek. (High Conflict Institute Press: Scottsdale AZ)
High- conflict politicians have won elections and then turned into huge
mistakes—either getting thrown out of office for their misdeeds or
making high- conflict decisions that have cost our nation dearly. In order to
help you notice the warning signs, we have come up with a short checklist
(on the following page) to consider for potential candidates.
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174 Appendix B: High- Conflict Politician Scorecard
ON- GOING
REGULAR PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR
TRAITS:
Never
Mild
Moderate
Often
Very Often
Personal Attacks
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Crisis Emotions
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
All- or- nothing
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
solutions
Self- absorbed
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Lacks empathy
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Misjudges
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
others
Sees self as a
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
big hero
Doesn’t play
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
well with others
TOTAL SCORE = _______________
This scorecard is proposed as a guide for comparing candidates, and is not a research- based formula .
To a great extent, high- conflict behavior is in the eye of the beholder . There is no cut- off or clear line between “reasonable” people and “high- conflict” people . It is possible that some elections are between two candidates who both score high or both score low on this list, while other elections may present
more clear- cut situations, with one low and one high . Simply thinking about these behaviors should help you become less vulnerable to attack ads and other manipulations by high- conflict politicians in federal, state and local elections .
© 2012 by William A. Eddy and Donald T. Saposnek
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Appendix C
BLANK 4-WAY VOTER
SPLIT DIAGRAM
The blank diagram on the next page is provided for you to use in analyz-
ing upcoming elections or looking back on elections. For an example,
see Figure 5 in Chapter 8, “US Presidential Election 2016,” which includes
the players, their roles, and percentages of votes. You can also plug in the
percentages from Chapter 6, where you will find the statistics for Hitler’s
parliamentary election and Stalin’s Communist Party election as General
Secretary.
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176 Appendix C: Blank 4-Way Voter Split Diagram
Fill-In Your Own
HCP
(Fantasy Hero)
Loyalists
Targets of Blame
(Fantasy Villains)
Moderates
Resisters
Dropouts
You may copy this diagram for your own personal use, but not for sale. Copyright © 2019
by Bill Eddy, author of Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths—And How We Can Stop!
Berrrett-Koehler Publishers
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Appendix D
FANTASY CRISIS TRIADS—
EXAMPLES WORLDWIDE
The following charts summarize the Fantasy Crisis Triads of the eleven
leaders described in Part II of this book. They are just a small sampling
of the many HCP Wannabe Kings over the past one hundred years, who
have used modern high-emotion media while damaging or destroying their
countries. As you can see, the potential for many more Wannabe Kings has
grown over the past thirty years.
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Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 178
178
FANTASY CRISIS TRIADS: EXAMPLES WORLDWIDE (IN JANUARY 2019)
App
(Small Sample Worldwide from Part II of this Book)
endi
PLACE AND YEARS
FANTASY CRISIS
FANTASY VILLAIN
FANTASY HERO
HIGH- EMOTION MEDIA
DAMAGE TO PEOPLE AND
x D: F
DEMOCRACY
anta
Germany (1920–1945)
Government “betrayal” lost Jews, Communists, Social
Hitler
Controlled media; con-
Caused deaths of over
sy C
WWI, Jewish immigrants
Democrats
stantly talked on the radio
fifty- five million people by
ris
pouring in
to everyone in their homes starting WWII
is Tr
in Germany
iads—
Russia (1917–1952)
Tsarist government,
Tsar, Kulaks, counter-
Stalin
Totally controlled media;
Caused deaths of over
Example
famines, resistance to
revolutionaries, the West,
gave constant speeches
twenty million people
collectivization
spies, everyone
s Worldw
China (1935–1976)
Chinese government and
Chinese nationalists, peas-
Mao
Totally controlled media,
Caused deaths of about
landowners, resistance to
ant farmers opposed to
posted airbrushed photo of forty million people (pri-
ide
collectivization
collectivization, urban elite
himself everywhere; pro-
marily from famines he
jected voice everywhere on caused)
public speakers
Russia (2000–Present)
Propaganda of Homosex-
Political enemies were
Putin
Controlled media after
Continues to cause an
uality, Western culture,
pedophiles working
first year in office
; pushed
unknown number of deaths,
American politicians
throughout government,
media owners out; gave
imprisonments, and disap-
homosexuals, Hillary
constant speeches about
pearances of opponents;
Clinton, George Soros, and
fantasy crises
presides over undemocratic
U .S . Ambassador Michael
elections; appoints gover-
McFaul
nors and many legislators
Continues
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Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 179
Continued
FANTASY CRISIS TRIADS: EXAMPLES WORLDWIDE (IN JANUARY 2019)
(Small Sample Worldwide from Part II of this Book)
PLACE AND YEARS
FANTASY CRISIS
FANTASY VILLAIN
FANTASY HERO
HIGH- EMOTION MEDIA
DAMAGE TO PEOPLE AND
DEMOCRACY
Hungary (2010–Present)
European Union, immigra-
Muslim immigrants; George Orban
Curbed the media; controls Controls selection of
tion, treated as victims by
Soros; European Union and
media regulators, visually
judiciary (all now have
West, attack on traditional
Western officials
manipulates news
been appointed by Orban’s
family values
people), has redrawn elec-
tion maps to favor his party
Venezuela (2013–Present) Wealthy landowners and
Oil companies, wealthy
Maduro
Closed major TV station,
Replaced democratically
business people, Enemies
Venezuelans, counter-
constantly gives long
elected legislature with his
App
of the people’s revolution
revolutionaries, United
speeches
own “constituent assembly”
endi
States, Donald Trump
x D: F
Italy (1994–Present)
Taxes being heavily
Communists, liberals
Berlusconi
Owned three TV stations,
Did nothing to improve lives
anta
increased by Communists
constantly self- promoted “I
as he promised; created
sy C
and liberals; privileges
am the Jesus Christ of poli-
conditions for newly desta-
risis T
being taken away
tics,” owned 90 percent of TV bilized, less democratic
ri
audience and advertising
government
ads—
E
US (1950–1954)
Communists want to take
Communists working
McCarthy
Televised nationwide
Ruined lives and reputa-