Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths- And How We Can Stop!
Page 22
top aggression is similar aggressiveness. But with an HCP, never respond
with aggression either, even for a moment. If you do, then from that moment
on, they will paint you as angry, crazy, destructive, and potentially violent—
and themselves as sane, reasonable, and level- headed. They will show the
world a video clip of your aggressive response thousands of times.
Yet another common (and natural response) to an HCP’s highly aggres-
sive attacks is to ignore them. But if you refuse to respond, the HCP will
attack you for running away, for being a coward, or for trying to hide from
“the truth.” They will relentlessly repeat these baseless attacks.
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 157
3/1/19 1:59 PM
158 Part III: How to Stop High- Conflict Politicians
Here’s an example of trying to ignore a high- conflict personal attack during
an election.
Swiftboating
In the 2004 United States presidential election, John Kerry was running
for president against George W. Bush. Kerry touted his experience in the
Vietnam War as a Navy officer in charge of sailors on several Swift boats
patrolling in the Mekong River Delta, for which he received several medals.
After the war he became a congressman and then senator.
During the 2004 campaign, a book was published by a group of sailors
called the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (SBVT), which claimed that Kerry’s
military service was dishonest and unpatriotic, and that he should not have
received his medals. John Kerry considered these claims so absurd that he
assumed that no one would pay attention to them. As a result, his campaign
did not respond to them. Then, suddenly, the accusations exploded in the
news with lots of repetition, as though they were all true.
In time, journalists took a close look at these claims and interviewed
numerous military people who were involved around him. It became clear
that these claims against Kerry were almost completely false. A connection
was also discovered between the SBVT and a lawyer for the Bush campaign,
who promptly left the campaign. As one journalist said at the time:
The bottom line? Mr. Kerry has stretched the truth here and there, but
earned his decorations. And the Swift Boat Veterans, contradicted by
official records and virtually everyone who witnessed the incidents, are
engaging in one of the ugliest smears in modern U.S. politics.272
Unfortunately, Mr. Kerry did not respond to these allegations against
him until they gained significant coverage during the campaign—possibly
contributing to his loss of the election.
Since then, Swiftboating has become the term for a dishonest smear
attack during a political campaign that often goes without a response.
The Assertive Approach
The best approach—perhaps the only approach—that works with a high-
conflict politician is an assertive one, in which you actively protect your-
self (or the candidate you support); match the HCP’s energy, but not their
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 158
3/1/19 1:59 PM
13: Be as Assertive as HCPs Are Aggressive 159
vindictiveness; focus on the facts; and do so without attacking or trying to
destroy the Wannabe King.
The key is to present only factual, accurate information, and to do so in a
way that is focused, clear, and strong (even forceful), but calm.
Always present this information as soon as possible after an HCP’s
attack. When possible, present it in the same forum—for example, in the
same newspaper, in the same debate, or on the same social media site.
Its fine to be very brief, but you must respond as quickly as possible so
that your factual information follows quickly on the heels of the HCP’s mis-
information—and so the HCP doesn’t have a lot of time to spread their lies
and have them grow.
At all times, be just as energetic as the HCP. Show strength and con-
fidence while providing useful information. Stay matter- of- fact and calm.
Your accurate, helpful information and your demeanor are your strengths.
Both clearly differentiate you from the HCP and their surrogates.
When you take such an assertive approach, the HCP and their followers
will do everything they can to confuse you, upset you, or make you angry.
They will call you names. They will accuse you of saying things you did
not. They will claim that you committed some imaginary sin or crime. Their
goal is to emotionally rattle you in the hope that you will misspeak or lose
your cool and stop looking reasonable.
All of this means that you must do your homework and be accurate at all times.
The HCP will seize on the slightest error or inconsistency and use it to “prove”
that you are a sleazy, untrustworthy liar who just wants to hoodwink everyone.
Actually, no matter what you say and do, the HCP may denounce you
as a total liar—or crook, or paid sycophant—anyway. Remember, they are
endlessly aggressive and can’t stop themselves. Respond to these accusations
with even more factual, accurate information. Or simply repeat your prior
factual points once more.
The reason this is successful is that you look reasonable, and not wild
and angry and dangerous. As a result, it’s hard to paint you as an extremist,
so you won’t alienate anyone. Also, the assertive approach makes it harder
for you to be seen as a fantasy villain or Target of Blame.
Be Everywhere
When campaigning against an HCP Wannabe King, you are always in an
uphill battle. Most HCPs are intuitively media savvy and will flood every
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 159
3/1/19 1:59 PM
160 Part III: How to Stop High- Conflict Politicians
possible medium with the same false and emotionally seductive messages,
repeating them endlessly.
So, if you can, be just as present as the Wannabe King on every medium
they use. Remember, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, McCarthy, Berlusconi, Trump, and
many other HCPs succeeded significantly because their faces and messages
were everywhere.
If this isn’t possible, then be as present as (or more present than) the
HCP on social media. If an HCP puts out a tweet a day, tweet at least as
often. If they post to Facebook three times a day, post relevant information
to your site at least three times daily. Keep all your messages brief, clear,
calm, factual, and accurate.
And remember, wherever you go , never insult the HCP, even indirectly,
even in a very private forum, even once. The Wannabe King will find a way
to use it against you, calling you abusive and unfair, even as they heap abuse,
scorn, and lies on you. By not insulting them, you will surprise many people
and throw the HCP off balance. This is the secret power of the assertive
approach. You will look strong and reasonable, and they won’t.
Factual Repetition
Our brains are very susceptible to simple phrases, repeated over and over
again, so that we remember them whether we want to or not. That’s why
advertising jingles work so well.
We have seen that repetition works for Wannabe Kings. High- conflict
politicians win vo
tes through emotional repetition of false statements hun-
dreds and thousands of times, until people begin to believe them (or at least
take them seriously).
Respond by repeating the same truths hundreds or thousands of times.
Factual repetition is necessary to get through to people who aren’t paying
attention or who have an initial positive feeling about the HCP.
If you and an HCP (or their surrogate) appear together in front of an
audience, match the high energy of the HCP’s extreme and emotional state-
ments. But be calm, straightforward, and factual at all times.
Also, you can include emotions in your message. You can be excited or
enthusiastic. But avoid high- conflict emotions such as rage, terror, blame,
fear, and helplessness.
The ideal message has factual and emotional repetition in it. It also needs
to be simple, so that it’s memorable.
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 160
3/1/19 1:59 PM
13: Be as Assertive as HCPs Are Aggressive 161
Keep It Simple
Because of their all- or- nothing thinking, HCPs are highly skilled at promot-
ing simple (and usually utterly false) concepts. They often believe in the sim-
plicity of problems. Heroes and villains says it all for them.
Typically, phrases with three beats in them are the easiest to remember.
For example, during the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump had
three very common chants at his rallies, each with three beats: “Build the
Wall!” “Lock Her Up!” and “Drain the Swamp!” Although these ended up
meaning nothing, they became memorized by the entire nation. Our brains
like remembering things with three beats, four or five at the most.
Some examples of phrases that oppose an HCP and their fantasy prom-
ises might be these:
Trade, not war!
Lots more jobs!
Keep kids safe!
Phrases should include words that produce or suggest positive, mild
emotions— not intensely strong ones. Strong emotions tend to shut off peo-
ple’s logical thinking. You want thinking and emotions to energize people
and stimulate their logical memories.
Encourage Everyone to Respond and Repeat
When speaking before a crowd, recognize the presence and energy of that
crowd, and use it to promote your (or your candidate’s) causes and values.
And you can use this opportunity to teach the Fantasy Crisis Triad while you
are also bonding with your audience. This is a good time to ask the three key
questions from Chapter 5 in a call- and- response manner:
Is _____ really a crisis? [Crowd response:] NO!
Is _____ really a villain? [Crowd response:] NO!
Is _____ really a hero? [Crowd response:] NO!
[If appropriate, you can add]:
Then vote for ______ on ________! [Crowd response:] YES!
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 161
3/1/19 1:59 PM
162 Part III: How to Stop High- Conflict Politicians
Such call- and- response interactions connect with people’s positive emo-
tions and power without misleading them like Wannabe Kings so often do
with their fantasy crisis emotions.
Conclusion
The assertive approach is necessary to confront the endlessly aggressive
behavior of HCP Wannabe Kings. Simply put, our society has begun to con-
fuse fantasy and reality. In the ancient past, human beings needed to be
adversaries and highly aggressive to survive. In the present, we are too inter-
connected to be able to afford endlessly aggressive behavior by any individ-
ual or group—and especially by our Cultural Leaders.
Our social DNA has allowed us the ability to be both adversarial and
cooperative. If we can learn to restrain our leaders and ourselves from too
much aggressive behavior and threats of it, we will have a much better chance
of long- term survival. It’s up to us as citizens of the world and as voters.
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 162
3/1/19 1:59 PM
14
MANAGE THE MEDIA
AND FAKE NEWS
A free and independent press is essential to democracy and also to limit-
ing the power of high- conflict politicians. In many of the examples in
this book, these Wannabe Kings have quickly moved to control and dom-
inate journalists as an essential step toward consolidating their power and
eliminating their democracies. Although some Wannabe Kings lock up or
kill journalists, others disparage them by calling them “fake news.”
This term first arose during the 2016 US presidential election cycle.
Because Facebook advertising paid people for the number of clicks they got
on their websites, some people in a small town in Macedonia apparently
generated fake news stories to draw in huge numbers of users with totally
made up headlines such as these: “Pope Francis Shocks World, Endorses
Donald Trump for President” and “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email
Leaks Found Dead in Apparent Murder- Suicide. ”273
Although these fake stories may have been helping Trump’s election
prospects, he quickly co- opted the term fake news and turned it against the
mainstream American news media. His followers then became even more
skeptical of news reports critical of Trump, and his opponents predictably
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 163
3/1/19 1:59 PM
164 Part III: How to Stop High- Conflict Politicians
became outraged, disenchanted, or mildly confused—and thus Trump suc-
ceeded in creating the 4-way voter split.
Trump’s approach caught the news media off guard. Without knowing
how to respond, they initially simply repeated and repeated all the news that
came in—including from these questionable sources—because they were get-
ting wide coverage on the Internet. They repeated everything that Trump said,
regardless of its credibility, because first he was a presidential candidate and
then the president. Eventually, some news outlets began stating that certain
news items were suspect or actually false, and some started digging deeper
into the issues rather than simply reporting what the politicians said about
each other and what voters said they felt about what the politicians had said.
The media did a great deal of hand- wringing over what they had done
wrong or should have done instead. It’s understandable that they were con-
fused, because they—along with everyone else in our democracy—thought
our nation was a cooperative society. They didn’t realize how severely HCPs
attack those on the same team.
My conclusion is that media around the world has gotten seduced into
focusing on the emotions that are being driven by the Wannabe Kings and
their Negative Advocates, rather than focusing on the actual facts. This has
certainly been true of the face and voice news media, including radio, tele-
vision, and social media. Fortunately, print media has driven fact- finding
investigations and reporting.
To really deal with the news media and fake news when it seems to be
arising, I believe they (the news media) and we should ask the following ten
questions:
TEN QUESTIONS FOR FAKE NEWS ANALYSIS
1. Is this really true? Is th
is really a crisis?
2. What is the context? Is this a representative or exceptional situation?
3. What are the numbers/statistics on this?
4. Do the experts agree? Why or why not?
5. Is this a credible news source?
6. What do other news sources say about this?
7. Is the person or group being blamed really a villain? Are they even
connected in any way to this problem?
8. Is the person speaking about the alleged crisis really a hero?
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 164
3/1/19 1:59 PM
14: Manage the Media and Fake News 165
9. Will the speaker personally benefit by saying what they are saying?
10. How likely is it that this is really a projection of what the speaker is
saying or doing themselves?
It would be great if these pointed questions and the resulting answers
were the kinds of information we received regularly rather than the high-
emotion “breaking” news that simply grabs our amygdala to get our attention.
But remember, we actually have a choice. We can reinforce the high- emotion
news or stop watching it and seek out informational news. It’s up to us.
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 165
3/1/19 1:59 PM
Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 166
3/1/19 1:59 PM
Conclusion
MAINTAINING OUR IMMUNITY
The world will always have high- conflict personalities and high- conflict
politicians. They are the greatest threat to humanity if they are not under-
stood and reined in, rather than given more power. The more people who
understand their patterns and practice the types of methods described in this
book, the safer we will all be.
This isn’t a problem we can solve and put behind us any more than we
can conquer all disease and dispense with medical care and the human
immune system. For as long as there are human beings, roughly 7 to 8 per-
cent of us will be sociopaths or narcissists (or both), and some of these will
be HCP Wannabe Kings who are irresistibly drawn to seek unlimited power.
But now you know their patterns. You know that they are preoccupied
with attacking endless Targets of Blame. You know that they use Fantasy
Crisis Triads to recruit followers. You know that they use emotional warfare
to divide their opposition and take down any individual close to them who
challenges them or becomes inconvenient. They seduce, attack, divide, and